


Satellite Call

by Jadells, LPSunnyBunny



Series: To Build a Home [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub, Homophobic Language, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Alternating, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Pesterlog Heavy, Phone Sex, Sexting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 100,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadells/pseuds/Jadells, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny
Summary: Dave and Karkat's relationship has been fairly steady since they reunited- but Karkat's trip to California brings some new information to light that reveals a dangerous undertow beneath the seemingly-smooth waves.Between attempting to navigate a week of long-distance sexting, a couple of chance encounters, and secrets coming to light, the shaky rope bridge they've tried to build might hold strong- or it could snap and send everything tumbling apart.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Series: To Build a Home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835206
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

At this rate he was going to miss his flight. 

Karkat was standing in one of the many terminals of the O’Hare International Airport in the wee hours of the morning. His flight was departing within a half-hour. He made sure to get there with plenty of time to spare so he could go through the grueling slog of the American airport security system, and now all that was left was to wait near his gate for his flight to board. But it was pretty hard to keep an eye on the clock, or an ear out for any announcements from a flight attendant, when Karkat was very, very preoccupied by his very, very distracting fiancé, who’s been glued to him like a baby koala ever since Karkat let him know about this trip. 

Karkat had graduated several months ago. Jade had a reading week from school this week, so Karkat decided to make the rather impromptu decision to fly to California from Chicago to visit while she had a break from her studies. When it came time to tell Dave the news, Karkat was convinced Dave would forbid it. But, surprisingly, Dave had just gone quiet for a moment or two before saying, _ ”Wow! Sounds great, babe. Jade is gonna be fucking stoked.” _

Then Dave promptly proceeded to exude a nervous energy that Karkat could practically see coming off of him in thick waves. Every time Karkat opened his mouth to say something about it, he clamped it back shut. Of course Dave would be nervous about him going to California. Dave wasn’t going to relax until the minute he saw Karkat again next week. Karkat had considered cancelling his trip altogether, making up some excuse. Something came up. He couldn’t get the time off work; didn’t want to jeopardize his new job. A family emergency? But every time, he just felt guilty about letting Jade down. He  _ really  _ missed Jade, and he’d hate to disappoint her by not coming after all. So, perhaps despite his better judgement, he was going through with it.

And now Dave was squeezing him so tightly Karkat could hardly breathe. This was also because Dave was cutting off his air supply by kissing him relentlessly, uncaring of the other travellers walking through the terminal. Karkat finally manages to get a moment of reprieve from the onslaught of kisses, pressing his palms against Dave’s chest and pulling away slightly. 

“ _ Daaave _ ,” Karkat wanted to groan in exasperation but it wound up coming out as more of a sigh of defeat. 

Was it too late to cancel his flight? He’ll just tell Jade he mixed up the time on his ticket and missed the plane...he could always go see her for winter break, after all...

_ No, no, no, no, dammit. Vantas, for fuck sake, grow a pair— _

“Dave, babe, come on, I gotta get going,” Karkat sighs gently, squeezing Dave’s shoulders. 

He doesn’t sound convincing at all, even to himself. This was going to be the longest that he and Dave had spent apart since they reunited back in October. Ever since that fateful day, they had made sure to be together as much as possible. They took turns staying at one another’s dorms until Karkat graduated and got an apartment downtown. It wasn’t exactly close to the Illinois Tech campus but Dave still stayed over often. Karkat’s place provided _ lots  _ of privacy. 

When they couldn’t be together in person, due to class or work, they would constantly be messaging one another on Pesterchum, calling each other on the phone or going on FaceTime. 

Was it a little excessive? Sollux certainly thought so. 

But he could fuck right off. _ You _ spend five years ripped away from the love of your life, run into them by pure chance in a crowded café at seven in the morning on a dreary fall day in Chicago, spend the rest of that day reconnecting and learning about each other’s shadowy years spent apart, and  _ not _ be disgustingly affectionate, grossly domestic and clingy thereafter.

Karkat rubs his thumb along Dave’s cheek and offers him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “I’ll be back before you know it. This time next week, we’ll be...well, we’ll be sleeping, because it’s early-as-fuck-oh-clock right now and no human being in their right mind should be up this early, but still.” 

Karkat leans up and kisses Dave on the tip of his nose. “I’ll be back soon, Dave.”

  
  
  


Dave is-- 

Ha, okay, no way around it.

Dave is  _ nervous _ . 

Here's his darling, lovely, wonderful, _ incredible _ fiancé ready to fly off to the place that was basically hell on Earth for Dave for two years. Can anyone blame him, really? He's standing in the airport about to let Karkat go (and yeah, it's  _ not in that way _ but the words still make his heart lurch), trying to steal as many last moment kisses before letting his boyfriend board an airplane and fly off.

There's a distinctly jittery beat in his blood. What if the airplane crashes and Dave never sees Karkat again? What if Karkat gets out to California and is in a car crash? What if somehow Jade's gone insane and kidnaps Karkat and never lets him leave? What if Karkat--

Dave is massively overreacting, but okay,  _ maybe _ he's become a little co-dependant on Karkat, and maybe the idea of him being  _ literally unreachable  _ for an extended period of time (it's a week, it's a  _ week _ , Dave will be fine, Karkat will be fine, it's  _ just a week-- _ ) is making him nervous as hell, and  _ maybe _ Dave is trying really hard not to ask Karkat to change his mind and not go, they're standing  _ right here in the airport  _ and Dave is still locking the words  _ don't go  _ behind his teeth.

He doesn't want Karkat anywhere near the place, he _ doesn't. _ He knows if he leaves it alone, then it will all go okay, but the envelope in his pocket is weighing him down like a fucking anchor. 

_ He should leave it alone. He should _ leave it alone. If he does nothing, then Karkat won't ever find anyone from that era and nothing will happen and it will  _ all be okay _ . 

But. 

But--

_ Fuck,  _ he should just leave it alone. But- he doesn't know her address. He knows her partner's address, but knowing that guy, he would just fucking toss any letter out.

Karkat's grumbling in his arms, but it's indulgent, soft. He's trying to get Dave to let him go so that he can leave. Dave doesn't want to, he  _ really  _ doesn't want to, but he needs to--but he doesn't  _ want _ to, he doesn't want Karkat in a place where he can't reach him again.

It's fine. It's fine, Karkat  _ has _ to come back. He has to go back to his job. All of his stuff is scattered between his apartment and Dave’s dorm. Dave has his phone number, his Pesterchum handle, all of his social media--he  _ won't _ lose Karkat again.

Fuck. Okay. Okay. Deep breath. Karkat's kissing his nose and telling him it's alright.

"I know," Dave says. "I know--I'm just being dumb." He clears his throat. "I mean," he says in a  _ my-therapist-told-me-to-do-this _ tone of voice before Karkat can reprimand him, "I am having an emotional response to an issue that is causing me distress and it is a completely normal and healthy thing to be experiencing." 

He shakes his head a little bit, locks the words  _ don't go _ behind his teeth, and steals another quick kiss.

"Okay, I'll let you, um, get on your plane." Dave says, and doesn't let go. His heart is pounding in his ears. "Can you--can you do a favor for me while you're in Cali?" He shoves a hand in his pocket and pulls the envelope out, pushing it into Karkat's hands. "I would just send it through the mail like a normal ass person, but I don't know her address otherwise I'd just send it but--I know her dick of a boyfriend's address and he'd just toss it because like I said, he's a dick. And even though he probably doesn't remember me, I bet he'd toss it anyway, so this is the best way--wow, that's a lot of words to say can you please go to this address, find Feferi and give this to her?" 

The letter is thick with way too many sheets of paper of a letter that Dave had wrote and rewrote and then edited down until it's  _ still  _ way too fucking much. It's sealed with Feferi's name and her dick of a boyfriend's address written on it. If Karkat feels the letter, he'll be able to feel something hard and flat inside.

  
  
  


“Not _ dumb _ ,” Karkat says, pushing Dave on the forehead, “If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t—“ and then Karkat’s eyes go wide and he blinks owlishly as Dave suddenly cuts him off and shifts into his “I learned this in therapy” voice. 

Karkat’s mouth screws up into a crooked line as he tries to hold back his mirth, but a snort still bursts out. But  _ god, _ he’s proud of him. He’s so fucking proud of the process Dave has been making. 

Karkat’s mirth softens quickly and he tousles the front of Dave’s bangs, affectionate,  _ preposterously _ fond.

“Yeah, D. It is. It’s fine. Trust me, you kissing me desperately in the middle of an airport is  _ absolutely _ in the top rankings of my sappy romantic fantasies. You know how to get my motor running.” 

He waggles his eyebrows at Dave, hoping some humour will help alleviate Dave’s fried nerves. “Are you gonna start into that Nic Cage monologue from the end of  _ The Family Man _ ? Because if you are, you gotta give a guy some warning because I’ll totally—“ 

Dave doesn’t quote Nic Cage rom-com lines are him, he just steals a quick kiss instead. It shuts Karkat right up anyway. Karkat hums softly, smiling through the kiss, and is still looking up at Dave with a goofy, besotted smirk when Dave pulls away. He says he’ll let Karkat get on the plane but he doesn’t let Karkat go. Karkat doesn’t either. 

Then Dave is...asking him for a favour. And the goofy smile slips from Karkat’s face and into a look of confused surprise as Dave is suddenly pushing an envelope ( _ wow, it’s thick, and there’s something inside it? _ ) into his hands. Karkat stares up at Dave unblinking as Dave talks a mile a minute, and Karkat can’t keep up with the onslaught of panicked word-vomit, but he nods along quickly as Dave throws what are probably very important instructions into all the other babble. 

“Feferi. Got it.” Karkat says, looking down at the package for a moment before looking back up at Dave. He’s suddenly aware that his heart is hammering roughly.

Now there’s a million questions knocking around in his brain. Why didn’t Dave mention this sooner, instead of  _ minutes b _ efore Karkat has to  _ get on a plane and fly to California for a week _ ??? God fucking dammit Dave. 

He wants to ask what’s in the envelope but he feels like...it isn’t his place to ask. The curiosity is  _ killing  _ him, but he keeps his mouth shut. Maybe he could open it on the plane ride, and then reseal it before giving it to Feferi? What the fuck,  _ no _ , that was so fucked up, NO—

“Who...is Feferi?” Karkat asks quietly.

  
  
  


Karkat's trying to make him feel better and Dave appreciates it because it does  _ kind of _ work, a little bit, more than zero--so it's something. 

But god, Dave is so stupid. He's had so much fucking time to ask Karkat to do this, and now he's finally done it at the  _ last fucking minute _ when of course he'll have questions. Dave shoves his hands into his pockets so that he doesn't pull Karkat into another hug and rocks a bit on his heels.

"Um," he says, then chews on his lip. "She's--" He's trying really hard not to blurt out something embarrassing in the middle of the airport. "Basically the only fucking decent person in that entire place and I owe her a lot." he mumbles. 

That's really, really underselling it. Feferi's basically the  _ only fucking reason  _ he got out of that place. Even if her boyfriend is a massive fucking dick and Dave doesn't understand why she's with him. Basically, if he ever had anyone who acted like a mom, it was Feferi. Which is weird as shit because she's literally been wrist deep in his ass. Okay, maybe not that weird--for the record, Dave does  _ not  _ have a mommy kink.... 

...

...probably?

Okay, not thinking about this right now. 

Anyway--Feferi. Yeah, she's basically the only fucking reason he got out of Damara's fucking den of villainy. 

"Um. If you need to, you can namedrop me." Dave says, feeling his cheeks go hot. "Either of them. Feferi's nice so she won't like...do anything, but feel free to kick her boyfriend in the dick if he flirts with you." 

He really, really,  _ really _ hopes that he isn't sending Karkat to Damara's clutches by doing this. Dave is like 100% sure that Feferi won't drag Karkat into something that would introduce them, but her boyfriend--yeah, that's much more plausible.

  
  
  


Karkat keeps nodding, he feels like he’s probably nodding too much now but his brain is kind of broken and he can’t think of anything else to do. 

“O-Okay,” he says finally, dumbly. 

He’s relieved to hear that at least _ one  _ person from Dave’s time in California was good to him. And if that’s the case, he’s looking forward to meeting her. 

Karkat pulls Dave in for another kiss. Suddenly, he hears the flight attendant calling out his gate number, announcing they are about to start loading the plane. Karkat’s heartrate kicks back up again. Oh, god, this is it. He’s really leaving. He’s not going to see Dave for a week. Karkat refuses to fucking cry. He won’t do it, he won’t, he won’t. He doesn’t want the last thing Dave sees to be his ugly, puffy crying face. So Karkat pulls away and smiles at Dave as brightly as he can manage even though his chest is starting to ache. 

“I love you, D.” Karkat says, pulling Dave down to bump their foreheads together, “I’ll let you know when I get there. I love you. I’ll call every day. Okay, gotta go. I love you. Bye.” 

He says all of this while pulling himself out of Dave’s arms and gathering up his belongings. 

“Bye,” he says, and this time his voice comes out like someone is choking him. He lurches forward and kisses Dave again. He doesn’t want his last word to Dave to be  _ bye _ —

“ _ I love you _ ,” he whispers as he pulls away, “Be right back.” 

And then he hurries off towards the gate before he loses the last of his nerve, down to a frayed strand, ready to break.

  
  
  


Karkat kisses him again and then there's the flight announcement and  _ Karkat really has to leave now, there are no take-backsies.  _

Dave's heart lurches uncomfortably.  _ Don't go, don't go, don't go _ \--

"I love you too." Dave says softly as Karkat presses their foreheads together. "Have a good flight." 

Dave takes a really deep breath and holds it as Karkat collects his stuff.  _ DON'T GO, DON'T GO--  _

Karkat kisses him one last time and Dave wants to cry, but he breathes, "See you soon, baby." 

Then, Karkat's hurrying off. Dave's heart is vibrating at a pitch and frequency that he's surprised that all the glass around him isn't shattering into bits. 

" _ Don't go _ ." He whispers, knowing that Karkat can't hear him. 

Fuck.  _ Fuck _ , he doesn't want this to be a sad fucking goodbye. He can't let it be this way, he needs to do _ something _ \--

Holy shit. Okay. A grin breaks across his face. Who gives a shit that they're in an airport?

Dave cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, “WE HAVE A HOUSE IN JERSEY! WE HAVE TWO KIDS, ANNIE AND JOSH. ANNIE’S NOT MUCH OF A VIOLIN PLAYER BUT SHE TRIES REAL HARD. SHE’S A LITTLE—”

  
  
  


Karkat makes it to his gate and gets into the boarding lineup for his flight, all without managing to look back. He still doesn’t let himself, knowing if he looks over his shoulder and sees Dave just...standing there, all alone in the middle of the airport terminal, he won’t be able to go through with it. 

Karkat closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

_ Don’t look back. Don’t look back _ — 

“WE HAVE A HOUSE IN JERSEY!” 

Karkat’s eyes snap open, and he whirls around. No  _ fucking _ way—

Dave is standing exactly where Karkat left him, halfway across the huge terminal, his hands cupped to his mouth, yelling at the top of his lungs. 

“THE HOUSE IS A MESS BUT IT’S OURS. AFTER 122 MORE PAYMENTS, IT’S GOING TO BE OURS—” 

Karkat just stands there, dumbfounded. He’s so beside himself with astonishment he can’t even find the wherewithal to be embarrassed that  _ every single person in the airport  _ is now staring at Dave, wondering who in the hell he’s yelling at. After shock, the second thing Karkat feels is...impressed? How in the _ fuck  _ did Dave memorize an _ entire _ Nic Cage quote? He’s definitely spending way too much time with John. 

Then there’s too many emotions after that, and Karkat can’t keep track of them all. He starts to laugh, he can feel himself choking up. A couple people in line are looking between him and Dave and starting to put two and two together. Karkat slips his backpack off his shoulder and lets go of the handle of his suitcase. 

“—AND WE’RE IN LOVE. AFTER 13 YEARS OF MARRIAGE WE’RE STILL UNBELIEVABLY IN LOVE. YOU WON’T EVEN LET ME TOUCH YOU UNTIL I’VE SAID IT—” 

Karkat gets out of the line and starts sprinting across the terminal. 

“—NOTHING HAS EVER FELT MORE REAL. AND IF YOU GET ON THAT PLANE RIGHT NOW—” 

Karkat crashes into Dave, throwing his arms around his neck and sending them both to the floor, and Karkat’s laughing and crying and kissing everywhere he can reach.

  
  
  


Dave starts shouting and Karkat turns around and the disbelieving expression on his face almost makes Dave burst into laughter, almost makes him screw up the bit, but he holds firm with just the tiniest bit of a wobble.

He can feel everyone staring at him, can feel every person going  _ who's this dumbfuck _ ? But he can't bring himself to care because Karkat's  _ laughing  _ helplessly, and setting his bag down and Dave's committed so even as Karkat starts sprinting across the airport towards him, a fond, overwhelmed, _ loving  _ expression on his face, Dave doesn't stop until they're crashing together down to the floor and Karkat is kissing his face over and over and both of them are laughing and crying and it's so much better than standing there watching Karkat walk away with his backpack shouldered. It's worth every bit of public embarrassment because he gets one more moment, one more hug. 

"Love you--" Dave gasps, and for the first time since Karkat announced the trip, his heart doesn't hurt, he doesn't feel like he's about to vibrate out of his skin from nerves. "Love you, Karkat--" He presses a kiss to his mouth, grinning, cheeks wet. 

"You should really go get on that plane, now." Dave says after a moment. "I know it's my fault that you're not in that line now, I know, I'm  _ so _ handsome and impressive that you  _ had t _ o come back and kiss me again.”

Karkat laughs wetly. “I can’t _ believe _ you know that whole quote word for word, holy shit. Wait until John hears about this, he’s going to run across a room and kiss you senseless, too.” he grabs both sides of Dave’s face and kisses him, long and deep. 

Karkat gets to his feet and grabs Dave’s hands, pulling him up off the floor. Then Karkat wraps his arms around Dave’s shoulders and pulls him in for a tight, bone-crushing squeeze of a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek before breaking away, already starting to back up but not willing to turn around yet. But this time there’s a big grin on his face. 

“Okay, for real this time. No more slinging around your surprising amount of knowledge for rom-com quotes, or I will  _ not _ get on that plane.” Karkat spares a glance over his shoulder, and sees the line at the gate getting shorter. People are sort of just...side-stepping around his abandoned luggage. 

He looks back at Dave. “See you next week, baby. Love you.” 

And then Karkat turns around and high-tails it back to the gate, gathering up his luggage, slinging his backpack back onto one shoulder as he passes by the bemused-looking flight attendant, muttering a quick apology under his breath that he’s not sure she hears or even cares about, and then he rounds a corner and is walking down a small hallway with a large window on one side where he can see his plane waiting outside on the tarmac. 

He’s really going. He’s really about to get on a plane and fly away from Dave. 

Even if he looked back now, Dave’s well out of sight. The next few moments are a dazed whirl as his thoughts race and he shuffles slowly to his seat, and puts away his luggage. He sits down, and everything slowly starts to truly settle in. 

Karkat thinks about Dave’s laugh as he kissed him over and over, and misses him already. 

Karkat watches  _ The Family Man _ on his laptop once the plane has taken off, and wishes he was back in his apartment watching it with Dave curled up next to him.

The movie kills two hours of the four hour plane ride, so Karkat throws on another movie at random and before he knows it, the plane is preparing to land. Once he gets his larger luggage from the turnstile, Karkat grabs some lunch from the food court, and sits down at a free table to figure out LAX’s wifi so he can shoot Dave a message. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG] at 09:43AM

CG: HEY, BABE.   
CG: LANDED IN LAX.  
CG: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I TOTALLY WATCHED THE FAMILY MAN DURING THE FLIGHT OVER, LIKE THE BESOTTED LOVESICK SAP THAT I AM.   
CG: THEN I WATCHED THE WEDDING SINGER AND GUESS WHO TOTALLY FORGOT AIRPLANES AND AIRPORTS ARE JUST A UNIVERSAL FUCKING CONSTANT TO THE ROMANTIC COMEDY GENRE?   
CG: BECAUSE I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE SCENE AT THE END WHERE ADAM SANDLER SERENADES DREW BARRYMORE ON AN AIRPLANE.  
CG: THEN I COULDN’T STOP LOOKING UP TO CHECK AND SEE IF YOU’D COME WALKING DOWN THE AISLE WITH AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR.   
CG: AND TO MY IMMENSE DISAPPOINTMENT, YOU DID NOT.   
CG: I GUESS WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IN A REALLY CONVOLUTED WAY  
CG: IS THAT I MISS YOU ALREADY.   


Karkat sighs, setting down his phone and pulling out the envelope Dave gave him from his bag. He looks up the address on Google while he finishes his lunch. Turns out it’s about an hour drive from the airport, and in the complete opposite direction of Jade’s student dorm. Looks like he’d have to make a detour before going to see Jade. He’s about to pull up her Pesterchum handle when his phone buzzes, telling him he’s got a new message, which happens to be from Jade. He huffs a little out of his nose. She always did seem to have a sixth sense about when Karkat was about to message her.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering  gardenGnostic [GG] at 09:47AM

GG: hi karkat! <3   
GG: have you gotten to the airport yet??   
CG: HEY.   
CG: YEAH, I JUST LANDED A FEW MINUTES AGO. JUST GETTING SOME FOOD, HAD TO SKIP BREAKFAST TO MAKE MY FLIGHT SO I’M FUCKING STARVING.   
GG: hehehe  
CG: THERE’S SOMETHING I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF BEFORE I HEAD OVER TO YOUR PLACE BUT I’LL HEAD STRAIGHT OVER ONCE IT’S DONE.   
GG: okay that is totally fine!   
GG: does it have something to do with dave?   
CG: YEAH.   
CG: THERE’S SOMEONE HE WANTS ME TO GIVE THIS LETTER TO.   
GG: ooh a letter??  
GG: that is so   
GG: mysterious   
GG: not to mention old fashioned!   
CG: WELL IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE THE ENVELOPE OTHER THAN JUST A LETTER. IT’S PRETTY THICK BUT THEN THERE’S THIS HARD, FLAT THING INSIDE, TOO.   
CG: I DIDN’T ASK DAVE WHAT IT WAS.   
GG: are you going to stay to watch them open it to see what it is?   
GG: something hard and flat hmmm   
GG: i wonder what it could be!   
CG: UGH. I DON’T KNOW. THAT JUST SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BE WAY TOO FUCKING AWKWARD.   
CG: BUT THEN AGAIN, THE ONLY ADDRESS DAVE HAD TO GIVE ME WAS THE BOYFRIEND’S, AND APPARENTLY HE’S A BIG ENOUGH ASSHOLE HE MIGHT JUST THROW THE FUCKING THING AWAY BEFORE SHE GETS TO SEE IT.   
CG: SO I HAVE TO AT LEAST MAKE SURE IT GETS INTO HER HANDS.   
CG: AS FOR STAYING TO WATCH HER OPEN IT   
CG: I DON’T KNOW.   
CG: IT JUST DOESN’T SIT RIGHT WITH ME. LIKE IT’S NOT MY PLACE, YOU KNOW?   
CG: I’LL JUST MAKE SURE SHE GETS THE LETTER AND THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE SHE OPENS THAT PANDORA’S BOX OF DAVE-SECRETS I STILL DON’T KNOW ABOUT.   
GG: hmm.... :/   
GG: i think you should see what it is!   
GG: if dave didn’t want you to see what was inside he wouldn’t have trusted you with it!   
GG: i bet you even thought about opening it up to see what it is and then sealing it up before delivering it, riiiight??   
CG: FUCK NO!   
GG: :P !!!!   
GG: you totally did!!   
GG: but you didn’t do it, of course! because you respect his privacy, and because   
GG: you looooooove hiiiiiim!! <3 <3   
CG: YES. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVE IS BUILT UPON A STRONG FOUNDATION OF MUTUAL TRUST AND RESPECT.   
CG: WHEREIN WE DON’T ROOT THROUGH EACH OTHER’S SHIT LIKE A BUNCH OF MANGY RACCOONS, TRYING TO GET A WHIFF OF OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S DIRTY LAUNDRY.   
GG: awwww :)   
GG: ANYWAY. IT’S GOING TO TAKE ME AWHILE TO GET TO THIS PLACE, SO I BETTER GET GOING.   
GG: okay!   
GG: good luck!! <3   


gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 09:55AM

Karkat closes Pesterchum, throws away the garbage from his meal, gathers up his belongings and makes his way to the front entrance of the airport, bringing up the Uber app on his phone as he goes and inputting the address from the envelope. 

Los Angeles had the worst fucking traffic Karkat has ever witnessed, and the ride takes an extra half-hour longer than he had anticipated. Karkat double checks the address several times before he finally decides he is certain he’s found the right place. He tucks the envelope into the back pocket of his jeans, takes a breath, and knocks on the door.

  
  
  


The address that Karkat finds himself at is clearly in an upper class, well-to-do kind of neighborhood. The houses aren't gated, but they exude energy of “ _ if you're poor, you shouldn't even be  _ **_looking_ ** _ at me _ ”. Multiple stories, wide, perfectly trimmed lawns, tasteful yard decorations that must cost hundreds of dollars  _ each _ .

When Karkat knocks on the door, there's a minute of silence. It's almost long enough to maybe indicate that someone isn't home, but eventually the door swings open and a man leans in the doorframe.

He's tall as shit and puts it to good use, looking down his nose at Karkat. He's got the vague expression of someone looking at someone who's clearly in a lower socio-economic class and not trying very hard to hide their disgust about it. He's pretty, though, high cheekbones and a jawline built for stubbornness. He'd be a lot prettier if he didn't look like he was currently smelling dogshit.

But he leans in the doorway and folds his arms, looking Karkat up and down, dressed in clothes that look like they probably cost more individually than Karkat makes in a month. 

"Can I... _ hel _ **_p_ ** you?" He drawls. He pops his  _ p _ , arching his brows, perfectly manicured fingers drumming on his arm, painted a dark maroon color. Skinny jeans and tight shirt with a scarf on top and pushed-back hair with a single, wavy purple streak in it--this guy _ oozes _ metrosexual.

  
  
  


Karkat stands at the door feeling like a gross, slimy mackerel out of water. He drops his backpack off his shoulder and shoves all his luggage off to the side as he waits for someone to come to the door. He’s standing there like an idiot for long enough that he’s starting to think nobody is home. Or maybe they’re looking at Karkat on their state-of-the-art security camera and about to push some button that will have Karkat trying to outrun some hounds nipping at his heels in about two seconds. 

Karkat shuffles uncomfortably from one foot to the other, tearing his gaze from the dark purple door and over to the garden, perfectly kept. Jade and her green thumb would be salivating at the mouth admiring how well maintained it was, rich soil and vibrant, verdant plants. There’s a large seahorse statue sitting amongst the shrubbery and it’s cut from gleaming white marble. It probably costs more than Karkat’s rent for his glorified soapbox of a bachelor apartment in downtown Illinois. 

Then, the door opens, and Karkat’s head swivels back sharply. 

Where in the  _ fuck _ has Dave Strider brought him. 

“Uh...” Karkat says. 

Wow. Great fucking first impression, Vantas. Now you reek of poverty  _ and _ stupidity. 

“I’m...looking for, uh...Feferi.” Karkat mumbles. 

Jesus, this guy is looking him up and down, and it feels like his eyes are peeling Karkat’s skin off like a carrot with every pass. It takes every bit of strength Karkat has not to avert his gaze. He feels like he’s too fucking poor to even be making eye contact with this uppity motherfucker. 

_ PleasefortheloveofGODjustslamthedoorinmyfaceandlethisbeover— _

  
  
  


The guy gives Karkat another long up-and-down look, the sneer on his mouth becoming more pronounced.

"Wwhos askin'?" He drawls. It's very clear that he would love nothing more than to shut the door and be done with this whole mess and only social norms dictate that he  _ must _ stay here and see the interaction through.

  
  
  


Karkat does his very best not to pull his mouth into a frown. A muscle in his jaw twitches with the effort. 

“I have something for her,” Karkat says tightly. 

Jesus, were fucking  _ manners  _ just non-existent to the people of Los Angeles, or what? 

Karkat knows he doesn’t fucking belong here. He’s the lowest rung on the ladder, and this guy can probably smell the dirt in his blood. 

He’s got a wish list on Amazon with a bunch of cheap engagement rings because he can’t afford to get Dave something he deserves. 

He knows Dave would be happy with Karkat putting a BBQ Ringolo on his finger, but still. 

Thinking about Dave makes Karkat remember the fact Dave told him he could mention him by name. He didn’t think he’d have to do it so soon. 

“It’s something from Dave,” Karkat says, “Dave Strider. He asked me to bring it to her.”

  
  
  


For a moment, the guy's brow furrows, like the name doesn't quite ring a bell, but then something clicks in his brain and there's a flash of- surprise, maybe, or maybe relief?- and then he's rolling his eyes and stepping back into the house. 

"Oh,  _ Strider _ . Get in here and  _ don't touch anythin’ _ ."

He shuts the door once Karkat's inside and strides off into the house.

The inside of the house is just as immaculate and wealthy-looking as the outside. Light blue walls with gold trim, artful furniture with gleaming handles and artistic pieces clearly there to be shown off, not enjoyed, are scattered about the entrance. 

It's a handful of minutes before he's returning, a woman by his side. In direct contrast to the man, she's short and chubby and has a smile on her face as she steps forwards to greet Karkat.

"Hi!" She says brightly. "Eridan told me you were looking for me--Dave sent you?"

  
  
  


Karkat quickly gathers up his bags and steps inside the house. 

_ Holy fuck, it’s like a fucking castle in here. _

Karkat is told not to touch anything, and he certainly doesn’t need to be told twice. The dude walks off and Karkat stays rooted in place in the foyer, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. But then that feels extremely stand-offish and rude, so he shuffles and puts his hands in his pockets. But then,  _ that  _ makes him feel like an absolute douche, so he takes his hands out of his pockets and just opts to keep his arms firmly glued to his sides. 

Then the guy is coming back, and this time there’s someone with him. Karkat blinks, feeling his shoulders going slack at the sight of her. She’s a lot shorter than he had pictured her. She’s wearing round, fuchsia glasses, has lots of long, curly black hair, and a bright smile on her face that makes her eyes twinkle. She looks like something out of a Disney movie. Maybe Karkat really _ is  _ in a castle. 

He can still feel himself blinking stupidly as she walks up and greets him cheerfully. 

“Uh—yeah, hi—hello—“ Karkat clears his throat, “He did. Sorry, my name is Karkat. Karkat Vantas—“

  
  
  


There's an ear-ringing  _ shriek  _ of delight from Feferi and then her arms are around Karakt, hugging him directly into her  _ very generous _ bosom.

"Oh, he _ found you _ oh my gosh I cannot  _ believe _ this, this is _ incredible _ !" Feferi squeals in delight, hugging Karkat tightly before pulling back and putting both of her hands on his shoulders, beaming at him. "Aw, and you're just as cute as he described, where  _ are _ my manners, come in!" She grabs Karkat's hand and tugs him into the house, down the hall. Eridan looks rather irritated about the whole thing, but stays quiet. 

Feferi continues her chattering as she tugs him down the hall and into a sitting room, somehow ushering Karkat down onto a couch without it seeming rude.

"I've heard  _ so _ much about you, it's incredible to finally meet you, I don't know if Dave's told you anything about me but it's so wonderful, please, you  _ have  _ to tell me everything, how did the reunion go? How's Dave doing? Is he still at Illinois Tech?"

She sits on the other side of the couch, hands folded in her lap, and she's practically vibrating with excitement. Eridan, however, slouches in the doorway, arms folded. His expression is vaguely bored, but there's an interest in the way he watches Karkat.

  
  
  


There’s a sudden high-pitched squeal that comes out of Feferi that Karkat is convinced could be used to echo-locate with a dolphin, and then Feferi flings her arms around Karkat and Karkat lets out a muffled  _ whooof  _ as she squeezes the life out of him. 

Everything is happening all at once and suddenly Karkat is being pulled further into the house, his luggage abandoned by the front door. All he can do is stumble uselessly behind Feferi as she leads them down a hall and then he’s being ushered into a chair that’s probably worth more than half his video game collection. He sinks into the plush cushions, and awkwardly tries to reposition himself to sit on the edge of the chair so he’s touching the fabric as little as possible. 

Feferi plops down across from him, absolutely beaming. Over her shoulder Karkat can see the guy isn’t joining them, he’s just leaning there in the doorway, leaning against the door frame with an disinterested expression on his face. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of Karkat. Karkat pulls his gaze away and looks back at Feferi, trying to compartmentalize everything she’s been saying. 

She’s heard about Karkat? All Karkat did was tell her his name and she knocked the wind out of him with a hug. 

Dave told Feferi about him? Karkat didn’t think Dave would have told anyone here about him at all. 

Karkat realizes he’s just been sitting and staring at Feferi stupidly, so he clears his throat—probably way too loudly—and then scratches at his cheek. 

“It’s, um...it’s nice to meet you, too.” Karkat says. 

Other than the obvious  _ monetary _ imbalance, Karkat also feels like he’s sitting before someone who knows all kinds of things about him when he doesn’t know a thing about Feferi other than her name, and that she was kind to Dave. 

Dave trusted her. So Karkat has no inclination not to trust her, too. 

Feferi is telling Karkat to tell her everything. God, where to even start?

“We actually ran into each other completely by accident,” Karkat explains, “In a café one morning before class. Turned out we were both going to Illinois Tech, by some crazy coincidence. I graduated a couple of months ago, but Dave’s still got a bit before he’s done. He’s doing really well, though, he’s got a paid internship that’s going to turn into a full-time gig once he graduates...” 

Karkat shuffles in his seat, grabbing at his knees. “Sorry. He actually hasn’t mentioned anything about you, before today. But he says he...he owed you a lot. He actually sent me here to give you something.” 

Karkat reaches behind him and pulls the thick envelope out of his back pocket, leaning forward to hand it to Feferi. 

“Uh, here. This is for you.” Karkat mumbles, plopping back into his seat once Feferi takes the envelope. “You don’t—uh, you can open that later.” 

He has so many questions. 

He looks over Feferi’s head. The pompous dude is still in the doorway, drumming his painted nails slowly on his arm and giving Karkat a half-lidded expression. 

Karkat really shouldn’t intrude any more than he already has. 

“Uh, look, it was really nice to meet you. I’ll let Dave know you said hi. I better go, I’ve got a friend waiting for me. Sorry to intrude, I should get out of your lair—hair, out of your hair.” Karkat goes to push himself up out of the thick cushions and onto his feet.

  
  
  


Feferi listens with a delighted expression as Karkat explains how he and Dave reunited, nodding in understanding. 

"I'm not surprised." She muses, as she accepts the letter from him, immediately starting to rip the letter open despite Karkat's words. "I don't think there'd be any real reason for him to talk about me." 

As Karkat starts getting up, though, Feferi gives him a sweet little smile and, with the tone of a gentle dom, says: "Please sit, Karkat." 

She unfolds the letter, not looking to see if Karkat is obeying, and something small tumbles out. She catches it and holds it up. "Oh!" She gasps in delight, looking at the silver necklace dangling from her hand. It's got two wings spread out, linked in the middle by, bizarrely enough, a little cephalopod. 

"Oh, Eridan, come put this on me!" Feferi says, glancing over her shoulder.

"You really wwant me to put another man's jewwelry on you?" Eridan complains, but slinks forwards anyway as Feferi gathers her thick curls and holds them up. He obligingly hooks the thin chain around her neck and secures it, and she touches the cephalopod with a grin.

Eridan looks unhappy, but Feferi reaches up to grab his chin and coos, "Eridan, don't be jealous. It's unbecoming."

He flushes hard but she doesn't let his chin go until he nods, upon which she smiles, pats his cheek lightly, and then tosses her curls out and picks up the letter (which looks like its 5 sheets of paper holy shit). Eridan slinks back to the doorframe again, but he looks a little less hostile now, more flustered.

She reads through it quickly, her expression going from curious to fond, before she folds the letter up and looks at Karkat.

"Well," she says, "seeing as Dave has apparently given me permission to ' _ air out all of his sicknasty dirty laundry _ ' that means that I can answer any questions you have--which I'm sure you have a lot." She giggles a little.

  
  
  


Feferi tears into the letter as Karkat rises to his feet, and Karkat opens his mouth to say something when Feferi looks up at him with a gentle smile and tells him—polite but undeniably  _ firm _ —to sit down. 

It’s like being ordered by a benevolent queen. 

Karkat swallows, and takes a seat. 

Feferi unfolds the letter and Karkat notices a flash of silver drop out of the paper and Feferi catches it swiftly. Then she’s calling over Eridan—and oh, that’s his name, then, Karkat thinks to himself. He hadn’t bothered to introduce himself to Karkat earlier. 

Eridan comes over and helps Feferi put on the necklace, and Karkat feels like a voyeur watching the display, as though he ought to be watching this intimate little scene through a window instead of directly across from them, sitting on their couch. He averts his gaze when Feferi grabs Eridan by the chin. 

Then Feferi is reading the letter and Karkat can’t help but watch, even though this feels invasive, too. He watches as her expression shifts as she reads through the letter, feeling his heart thudding against his ribs. Feferi sets the letter aside and looks up at Karkat. 

And she’s saying she’ll answer any of Karkat’s questions. 

That Dave gave her  _ permission _ for her to tell him. 

Does this mean Dave mentioned Karkat in his letter? 

He has so many questions that he can’t pin any down, but that one sticks out in his mind. Karkat crosses his ankles and then uncrosses them. Plants his feet more firmly on the ground, staring at his shoes. He never took his shoes off, Feferi didn’t give him the chance. His well worn sneakers stand out like an ugly, gnarled thumb in this immaculate place. 

“So Dave talked about me?” Karkat asks, “And he...mentioned me in the letter, too?” 

It’s easier to ask questions that reach-around back to himself. That way, he doesn’t need to accidentally stumble upon something he wished he hadn’t. He wonders how long he can dodge around asking direct questions about Dave’s time here.

He has so many questions. 

He just isn’t sure if he wants to know the answer to any of them.

  
  
  


"Oh, yes." Feferi agrees, and her smile turns a little wry, a little sad. "Dave talked about you quite a bit- to me. Knowing that boy, I doubt there's anyone else he would have told about you. Especially considering, well," she taps a finger on the letter, folded now in her lap, "everything he's been through. He told me a lot about you- what he did, how he was so sure that you hated him, his fear of reaching out and confirming it- That poor boy had an awful lot of knots tangled up inside that Damara used to sink her claws into and tie him down."

"He said he told you about a lot of it- Damara, what she put him through, the like- but if he didn't tell you about me, that means he probably didn't tell you anything about how he got out."

She shrugs. "Not that that particular story is overly important, I suppose, but if you'd like to hear it I'll tell it all the same."

  
  
  


Karkat nods along as Feferi speaks, a small frown pulling at his features. 

Feferi says  _ Damara  _ and Karkat feels the blood in his veins go sluggish, and then turns to ice. At the same time, contrastingly so, he feels a heat in his chest that licks at his heart and threatens to choke his lungs with smoke.

It wasn’t exactly a name that fell from his or Dave’s lips often. Not since that first day. Every time Karkat hears it, he feels like he wants to reach out for Dave and hold him, hide him. 

But Dave isn’t here. 

Dave is back in Illinois, 2,139 miles away. He’s safe. Karkat doesn’t have to protect him. 

He squeezes at his knees until his knuckles go white. 

Karkat doesn’t want to talk to Feferi about Damara. Just the mention of her name has Karkat’s vision going hazy.

He’s listing the colours on the spines of the books on his shelf.

A sickening  _ snap _ of a cane.

Dave’s muffled cry of pain. 

Dave flinching beside him with every crack of the cane, like he can still feel it.

Karkat’s been quiet for too long. He looks up at Feferi, and lets go of the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. 

She says that the story of how Dave got away isn’t important, but Karkat thinks that statement couldn’t be further from the truth. 

It’s the only story that matters. The only story he has the stomach for. 

“How did Dave get away?” he asks quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

When Karkat looks up, Feferi's expression has slid into a soft, understanding smile.

"Alright." She says and sets the letter aside. Feferi tucks her feet up underneath her and folds her hand in her lap. "I'm sure you have an idea of the state Dave was in when I met him." Feferi says calmly. "Trapped in the Handmaiden's clutches, full of self-loathing, suicidal."

She says the words like they're matter-of-fact, but her expression is soft and sympathetic. 

"Damara pulls people in, uses them up, and then kicks them to the curb when they're no longer profitable to her. Dave was at the height of his...  _ marketability _ ." Her gaze darkens and she glances away, her mouth twisting around the word like it's repulsive to her. "She keeps her pets ignorant and under her control through any string she can pull. Between his brother and his own self-hatred, he was easy to keep under her control- and control him she did. He was one of her favorite switches." 

Feferi is silent for a moment, before she breathes out and looks back to Karkat.

"I first encountered Dave in a scene she had arranged." Feferi continues her story, her tone gentle again. "It was meant to be a gentle one- and there was something about it that broke him." She shakes her head with a sigh. "I still don't know if it was a miscalculation on Damara's part or a punishment for him--but I got him through the scene and then brought him home." 

She reaches up and thumbs over one of the wings of the necklace. "I think if it had been anyone else, any of his usual partners- that would have been it." She murmurs softly. "They wouldn't have bothered to make sure he was okay- and he wouldn't have been able to come back from it." There's a flash of boiling fury in her eyes as she adds, "most doms in Damara's network... they're not _ true _ doms. They're nothing more than abusers who use her ' _ toys _ ' for  _ fun _ ."

She takes a deep breath and folds her hands back into her lap, quirking a soft, sad smile at Karkat. "After that, he would start coming by- not for sex, or anything like that- anytime he'd hit subdrop a bit too hard, couldn't handle it- he'd come to me and I'd help him down with it."

"I knew if he stayed in this life it would consume him." Feferi says quietly. "Some subs get broken to the point where there's nothing else for them--they can't leave. But I knew Dave still could get out. So I started pushing him towards options--convincing him there was something more he could get, could do."

She smiles fondly in remembrance.

"And he ended up getting a complete ride to Illinois Tech." Voice full of pride. "Two days later he told me he got an internship with a company, and I knew it would work. He would  _ get out _ ."

"So I helped him pack his bags, destroy his phone, steal his documents back from his brother, shoved his ass on a plane, and told him ' _ Dave Strider, don't you ever come back to California for any reason _ .' And then he was out."

Throughout Feferi's story, Eridan hangs back in the doorway, his expression pinched, his arms crossed. He finally looks away from Karkat as Feferi describes Dave starting to come around, his expression going flat and shuttered. But he stays silent and doesn't say anything.

  
  
  


Switch. Subdrop. Scene. 

Pet. 

Toy. 

_ I’m just a toy for you...  _

Dave’s words ring through Karkat’s mind as Feferi tells her story. Most of the terminology is alien to Karkat, but he can surmise what it means well enough to follow along. 

_ I’m just a toy for you...  _

_ Oh, baby, no. You’re so much more than that. _

Karkat remembers the confusion in Dave’s eyes when Karkat treated him with kindness and understanding, instead of punishing him. Because, with the exception of Feferi, cruelty from monsters was all Dave knew. The only treatment he considered himself worthy of. So much that when he was treated gently, it only made him shut down. 

Karkat and Dave had a very active sex life, that much was certain. But Karkat hadn’t let anything close to bordering on sub/dom play happen, not since that first day they found each other. After the dust had settled, trying anything like that again just made Karkat’s stomach coil. He didn’t want to fuck it up, do something wrong that would cause Dave distress. Being too aggressive just seemed like it would trigger Dave, but being too soft was confusing. Karkat didn’t want their sex to be a _ scene _ . Karkat didn’t want to be held responsible for doing something that would make Dave feel like he was back in California. 

He thought at first it would allow Dave to cope with his trauma. Let him put a positive connotation on something that used to be terrible. But if it was just going to stir up bad memories and confuse and hurt Dave, Karkat would rather not do it at all. 

There were plenty of others ways to have sex, lots of other kinks they had discovered about each other and themselves. It was fun, it was  _ good _ . 

They hadn’t had another mishap. 

Karkat hadn’t told Dave outright he was avoiding it on purpose. He felt like that would just make Dave feel...ashamed. Like the stuff he did here in California was disgusting and wrong. The monsters who fucked with Dave’s mind were what was disgusting. Now that Karkat’s met Feferi, now that he’s heard it first-hand from someone from that world that what happened to Dave was  _ wrong _ , that it wasn’t what a _ true dom  _ would do...

But when that’s all Dave knew, how would he ever be able to see it otherwise? To Dave, it was kindness that was warped and strange. Only cruelty made sense. 

Dave had gotten out of California. And it was Feferi—and Feferi alone—that had seen to it. Karkat was beyond grateful for that, so much so that he can’t even think of how to begin telling her _ thank you _ when she finishes her tale. 

It feels as though a part of him holds back the gratitude, because there’s one thought still grating on Karkat’s mind. Dave escaped. He was safe now, he was with Karkat, they were happy and in love, it was everything Karkat wanted. But parts of Dave never left California. And Karkat is scared they’ll never truly leave. 

But he’s greedy. 

He wants all of Dave. Karkat doesn’t want Dave to ever think of this place ever again. Especially not by Karkat’s own doing. By his  _ touch _ . 

“There’s still a part of him here,” Karkat says softly, “And I don’t know how to get it back to him.” 

The words fall out of his mouth without him able to stop them. Like he’s on auto-pilot.

“Maybe that’s why I’m here,” Karkat mutters, “why I jumped at the chance as soon as Jade told me she had a break from school. It wasn’t even her that made the offer, I just...” 

Karkat shakes his head. He’s silent for a long time, staring off at nothing. Then he looks at Feferi. 

“There’s a part of Dave that never left and I’m here to get it back,” Karkat says, “And I need your help.”

  
  
  


Feferi waits patiently through Karkat's contemplation. At Karkat's request, she smiles. 

"I'm very happy to see you're just as caring as he always painted you out to be." she says and rises to her feet, smoothing down her skirts before stepping over to Karkat and taking his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"I'll help you with whatever you need." she says, and she means it. Her memories of Dave were constantly overshadowed by the looming presence of Damara, but just knowing that he  _ made  _ it, that he got out--and  _ stayed _ out--it's enough to take an invisible load off of her chest.

The man that stands before her is everything Dave drunkenly told her about (and then soberly clarified the next morning). Kind hearted, determined, and clearly the best thing that's ever happened to Dave. (She also wasn't lying earlier- he  _ is  _ incredibly cute.) 

Feferi has a rather fond level of affection for Dave, honestly. A sub trapped in Damara's clutches--she learned the hard way that she can't save all of them. In fact, she can't save  _ most  _ of them. By the time she meets them, they're usually too broken, too trapped, too entrenched in the life. The fact that he was one of her favorites, that she trained him up into being a switch-- that was just the icing on the cake. It meant she would want to keep him even  _ harder _ .

So stealing him right out from under her nose and sending him off to a better chance at life was even  _ sweeter _ , with that in mind. 

Feferi's not much in Damara's network, anymore. It's a combination of multiple things--but the biggest is Eridan. He needs her in a way that no one else has--so she's staying primarily with him, now.

  
  
  


Karkat hadn’t realized he’d risen back to his feet until Feferi was stepping over to him and grabbing his hand. 

She squeezed his hand, as gentle yet firm as her voice, and it was like an anchor, tethering him back down on the floor. His feet felt like cinder blocks. He was sunk to the ocean floor, and Feferi was the mermaid who had swam over to come to his aid. 

How long has he been here, underwater? Dave’s been here too, pumping air into his lungs, but he’s still here. He can see the glimmer of light reflecting on the surface of the water. If he can just get up there... 

All Dave could do for him was press his lips to Karkat’s mouth, breathe more air into him, making him lighter. But he can’t break this tether that keeps him rooted into the sandbed. It’s not Dave’s fault—Dave probably doesn’t even know the tether is there. Karkat put it there himself. 

But now Feferi is here, taking his hand, smiling at him. She’s got the answer—a magical trident that can blast apart the tether, and let Karkat float upwards, towards the surface. Dave’s up there now, waiting for him. 

2,139 miles away. 

Karkat will meet him there. 

“I just want to be good for him,” Karkat murmurs.

Is Feferi some kind of siren? He feels like he’s under a spell. But his mind also feels crystal clear. 

What lay dormant beneath the still waters was the  _ beast _ , tethered back down and then sunk to the bottom of the ocean after it’s small taste of freedom. 

Karkat locked it away. Starved it. It didn’t put up any resistance. It knew Karkat was afraid. 

But it’s awake. It stayed dormant but never slept. It was waiting. Karkat doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. 

He wants to be good. For Dave, he has to be. 

“I want to know what a true dom is,” Karkat says in a low voice, “I don’t know what it’s like any more than he does. And I  _ need _ to, so I can show him.”

  
  
  


Feferi smiles with such a proud grin. "Karkat." She says. "I am  _ more _ than happy to teach you. If that's what you need, what  _ Dave _ needs- then I'll teach you how to be a dom."

"Fef--" Eridan starts, sounding irritated, and Feferi grins.

"Lesson one--communication!" She says cheerfully, and lets go of Karkat's hands to spin around and hold her hands out to Eridan. Eridan flushes but steps forwards, putting his hands into hers obediently.

"What's up babe?" Feferi asks.

"I don't think you should be wwastin your time." Eridan says and Feferi looks at him for a long moment as Eridan's face slowly gets redder.

"That's very rude of you, Eridan." Feferi says lightly. 

"Sorry." Eridan mumbles. 

"We can talk about it later." Feferi says. "Now, you're hovering. You can either be a part of this properly or you can go find something else to do."

Eridan's gaze flicks to Karkat for a moment, but it's not the snooty, irritated gaze of before. 

"I'll stay." He says and Feferi beams.

"Good boy." She says. Eridan's expression softens and he allows her to tug him over to where Karkat is standing. She grabs Karkat's hand and tugs him down to sit on a couch so that they can sit together, Feferi putting her back to the arm so that she can look at Karkat. Eridan sinks to his knees without a word and puts his head on Feferi's thigh and her hand finds his hair in response, starting to pet.

"Communication is the  _ most important thing _ ." Feferi stresses. "You  _ have _ to know what's going on in Dave's head. It'll be hard--Damara instills so many rules into her subs that it's hard to get them to say what they're actually thinking, and not what they think you want to hear." 

Eridan's shoulders go a little hunched, gaze glancing away.

  
  


Karkat is guided back to the couch and this time Feferi joins him, leaning back against the arm of the cushy lounge that threatens to swallow Karkat whole the moment he sinks down into it again. 

Karkat watches as Eridan sinks down to his knees and puts his head in Feferi’s lap. Feferi begins to stroke his hair. 

Seeing Eridan in such a vulnerable position several minutes ago, Karkat would have bolted off the couch and let the two of them have their privacy.

But now, Karkat doesn’t look away. 

He still hangs on to Feferi’s every word, however, and when she mentions Damara’s rules, Karkat’s head shoots up and his eyes go wide as he stares at Feferi. 

“When we tried before, I came up with my own rules,” Karkat says. 

Several minutes ago, Karkat would  _ not _ be openly sharing his experience trying sub/dom play with Dave. And there is still a little voice in the back of his head that’s running around in circles, screaming like a banshee in humiliation. 

Karkat ignores it and keeps talking. 

“One of them was that Dave needed to let me know what was on his mind, keep talking to me throughout. Tell me what he liked, what he didn’t.” Karkat says, “But it felt like he was holding a lot back. And he seemed so  _ confused _ by the rules—he even forgot the very first one I gave him.” 

Karkat leans back against the back of the couch and looks up at the vaulted ceiling as he recalls the memory. 

“I gave him three colours. When I asked him what his colour was, he told me he didn’t know. And he really started to freak out, so I stopped everything and reminded him of the colours. Told him we were doing yellow. Not stopped, just...taking a minute. I let him know it was okay if he forgot the colours, that I was giving him a lot of rules all at once so it was probably pretty overwhelming. Oh, maybe I should say what rules I gave him and you can, uh,—tell me if they were okay?” 

Karkat crosses his arm and purses his lips, trying to remember how many there were.

“Okay. So, there were the traffic light colours. I told him that if I ever hurt him, and it didn’t feel  _ good _ , to let me know and I would stop. And I told him to keep talking to me.” Karkat says, nodding to himself. “Yeah. I think that was all of them.” 

He looks over at Feferi and hefts a thick, dark eyebrow. “Maybe I need less rules? Or, make them less...I dunno, fucking  _ wordy _ , I guess?”

“He  _ is _ getting a lot better at communicating his internal thoughts and feelings, don’t get me wrong,” Karkat says quickly. 

He unfolds his arms and twists around on the couch to face Feferi more, hiking up one leg and resting his palm on his knee. 

“He started seeing his therapist more often. Sometimes I sit in on sessions with him. So it can basically turn into couple’s counselling sometimes,” Karkat huffs a little at that, “But yeah, he’ll let me know what’s on his mind. Even if he’s gotta do it in a robotic voice riddled with terminology his therapist taught him. He still does it. He’s come a long way.” His voice is filled with pride at the thought, and Karkat thinks back to the moment in the airport when Dave corrected his self-deprecation. 

“It’s moreso been something that comes up with just daily communication, though, not so much in the bedroom,” Karkat explains, “And that’s only because I haven’t let us try anything that would require it.” 

Karkat’s face falls into a guilty expression as he admits this, his mouth pulling into a small frown. 

“He doesn’t seem...disappointed about that. At least, it doesn’t seem that way. But maybe he’s just doing a good job of hiding it and I’m a dumbass,” Karkat scoffs, “We still tell each other what we want and stuff we like but it’s...I don’t know, what do you call it...fuck,  _ vanilla _ , maybe? Things haven’t been very, uhh... _ intense _ , in regards to that stuff. Not since that first day we got back together.”

  
  
  


Feferi nods a little as Karkat speaks. "Those were very good rules." She says. "It's important to know that there are _ two kinds _ of rules." 

She puts one finger up, "forever-rules, ones that are true no matter  _ what  _ you are doing," she puts the other finger up, "and temporary rules, ones that are just for the current moment." 

"Forever rules are rules that are best summarized in one sentence. The stoplight system is good--though I'm not surprised he was confused by it." Her mouth twists in displeasure. 

"Damara doesn't use safewords. She doesn't allow her subs to stop or pull out of a scene. There is no  _ safe, sane, or consensual _ under her fist." 

" _ Good subs don't stop scenes _ ." Eridan mutters bitterly. Feferi trails her fingers down the back of his neck and he shivers slightly, his eyes sliding closed. She resumes petting his hair slowly. 

"He probably doesn't know that it's  _ okay _ to stop." Feferi says quietly, still looking down at Eridan. "It takes a lot of work to break that mindset. You'll need to drill him on the system, over and over until he can say  _ red _ without thinking, without stopping first." 

"Not during sex," she adds, looking back up to Karkat, "this is something that has to be done outside of it, when he's safe and not in a sexual mindset. Things like having him recite the colors over and over, then asking him for them, then telling him to tell you red, tell you to stop. Do something like hold his wrist, have him tell you red, and then, the most important thing,  _ you let go _ . You back off, give him a moment to realize that you stopped, and then you tell him how good he is for saying red." 

"He'll break down, most certainly." Eridan interjects, his eyes fluttering open to look up at Karkat, his expression calm, all traces of the earlier sneer gone. "It's conditioning.  _ Be. Patient _ ." 

"It took me two months to break Eridan of it." Feferi says. "This isn't something that will go away overnight."

  
  
  


Practicing the rules _ without sex _ .

Karkat can’t believe he’d never thought of it. 

He’s a little more than taken aback when Eridan looks up from Feferi’s lap and addresses him directly. Karkat can only set his jaw and give Eridan a slow, steady nod. 

Dave didn’t know  _ how to stop _ . Damara never let him. Karkat feels that icy-blood feeling, mixed with the heat in his chest again. That _ fucking _ bitch. 

Karkat looks back up to Feferi. “I waited five years for him,” he mutters, “I think I can be patient.”

  
  


"Good." Feferi says, pleased. "Your other two rules- letting you know if something hurts in a bad way, and keep talking to you- those are both good. For now, until Dave is comfortable using red, you shouldn't be exploring anything that would cause him discomfort. Subs can get caught outside their heads, though, so don't be surprised if he needs prompting to follow the third one."

"The other rule type is temporary. This is for specific scenes. Things like  _ don't move your hands without permission _ or  _ kneel here and be quiet _ . It's best to be as specific as possible with these- they don't have to be one sentence." 

"The best way to differentiate between the rules is forever rules are established outside of scenes or in breaks. Temporary rules are established inside scenes and are gone when they're over."

"The other side to the rules," Feferi says patiently, "is  _ punishments _ . If Dave breaks a rule, you  _ must _ have some kind of consequence."

  
  
  


That makes Karkat lean back. As though he’s grabbing the beast by the collar and  _ yanking _ , pulling it back. 

His expression shifts from its solid gaze and the colour drains from his face. 

_ Punish _ Dave? 

“I—I can’t,” Karkat chokes out. 

He shakes his head, averting his gaze. “I  _ won’t _ . I don’t want to _ hurt _ him.”

  
  
  


"Not  _ hurt _ ." Feferi says gently. "Punish. It's a balance, Karkat. If Dave breaks a rule and there's no consequence, then he doesn't know what to expect. He'll stop focusing on  _ you _ and start expecting the punishment instead, and get confused and scared when nothing happens. If he's not punished, then the rules don't mean anything--and that means that  _ you _ don't have to follow his limits, either." 

She holds her hands up, flat, and makes a seasawing motion. "It's about keeping things consistent. If he tells you a limit, you obey it. If you tell him a rule, he obeys it. If either one of these things are broken..." She drops one hand down, raising the other, "something must occur to restore the balance. For him, it's a punishment. For  _ you _ , it's penance." She equalizes her hands again. "Understand?"

  
  
  


Karkat bites his lip. He wants to shrink back even further, but he closes his eyes. Clenches and unclenches his fists. 

Loosening his grip on the tether. 

Penance. Punishment. 

Karkat opens his eyes and looks back up at Feferi. He nods. 

“Balance,” he murmurs, “Got it.” 

So punishment didn’t have to mean pain. He could just refuse Dave something. Deny him something that Dave wanted. Make him _ apologize _ ...

_ That’s no way to talk to your daddy, Karkat.  _

_ Better apologize.  _

Karkat’s fingers come up and lightly touch his neck. He can practically feel Dave’s teeth. He swallows thickly. 

Punishment  _ could _ mean pain. Just—the good kind. Dave made him apologize, while also making it difficult for Karkat to follow the  _ be quiet _ rule. Gave him good pain he couldn’t fully enjoy because he had to  _ be quiet _ and  _ apologize _ . 

Karkat nods again quickly. “I understand,” he says softly. He looks up at Feferi through his lashes. “Sorry. I promise to listen. I just—“ he sighs, “I guess I’m just protective of him. It kind of makes me...shut everything else out.” 

He runs a hand through his hair, pushing his curls out of his eyes. “Alright, so...tell me about...subdrop.” Karkat says, “I experienced one first-hand. I think. You said Dave was a...switch? I’m guessing that means he can go from submissive to dominant. I guess that goes the same for me, too.” 

Karkat twists fully around to face Feferi, pulling his other leg up onto the couch to sit cross-legged. “We wound up kind of, uh, stumbling upon this...this thing where we, um...” Karkat has to take a great deal of effort to not look at Eridan while he speaks, “Call each other...daddy.” 

He says the last word in such a small voice he’s not even sure if Feferi heard him. 

“We both tried it. Haven’t done it since that first day, but...we both took a shot at it. Dave did it first and I, uh...after it was over I got the weirdest feeling. I didn’t _ regret  _ what we did but it was like my body was just shutting down.”

Karkat picks at the skin around his thumbnail as he continues. “Dave knew what to do right away. Told me what I was feeling was totally normal. Talked me through it.” Karkat’s lip quirks upwards a bit at the memory, “It was kind of like when I had dissociative panic attacks? Dave had no idea how to handle them when we were younger, but he got better over time. I don’t get them so much any more, but he’s still really good about my, uh, my spaced out days.” 

Karkat watches Feferi’s fingers as they run through Eridan’s hair. 

“I told Dave before to tell me how to help him if things ever got to red,” he says, “But, thinking about my own drop, or even times when I was being dissociative...I didn’t _know_ _how_ to help myself. I didn’t know what to do. So Dave wouldn’t be able to tell me.” 

He meets Feferi’s eyes. “When he...came to you, when he was having a drop...what helped him?”

  
  
  


Feferi nods encouragingly. "Protective is good." She says. "Just be sure to temper it. Too much can be stifling."

Her lips quirk up in mild amusement at the word  _ daddy _ , but there's no judgement in her gaze.

"That definitely sounds like you went right into subdrop. It's common when a sub is pushed hard or if they're deliberately put into subspace. The body feels the backlash from feeling good in subspace. The intensity varies from person to person--as well as from session to session."

"With Dave--the biggest thing I found that helped was touch. Letting him cry, if he needed to- but holding him and giving him physical reassurance was the biggest thing. He also responded well to praise."

"The most important thing is to remain calm when he's in subdrop, no matter what. Subs can lash out in distress- but if you respond in anger, even with the slightest annoyance- it can hurt them  _ terribly _ ."

  
  
  


Rules were good. There were permanent rules and temporary rules. Forever rules were made  _ outside _ of scenes. So Karkat would probably have to discuss them with Dave at some point outside of the bedroom. Like they were talking about who’s turn it was to do dishes. 

He could be protective, but not too much. Don’t be stifling. 

He needed to punish, but it didn’t have to be about pain. 

Karkat reviews everything Feferi has been telling him so far, and has a silly thought about wishing he could write this shit down, like he’s back in college sitting in a lecture. But instead he just nods along to Feferi’s words and drills the rules into his head over and over. 

Letting Dave cry wasn’t something Karkat considered at all. Dave was so adverse to the concept, Karkat thought that the tears were only making it worse. That Dave was ready for Bro to kick down the door and throttle him for being such a crybaby. So normally Karkat jumped onto  _ humour _ , trying to get Dave to laugh, trying to lighten the mood. 

But maybe all he had to do was the simplest thing. Just hold him. Just let him cry. Release the negative emotions through his tears, and let Karkat coax him through it. Praising him. 

Dave  _ did _ react well to praise. Karkat had slowly started to figure out that Dave really liked praise, but it wasn’t one of those things that had come up inside or outside of the bedroom when they were discussing what they liked. 

Karkat kind of just discovered it on his own, and decided  _ oh, I can work with this _ . It was fun watching Dave’s cool bravado  _ crumple _ the moment Karkat gave him the smallest compliment. 

Hold him. Let him cry. Praise him. Stay calm...

...don’t get angry. 

Karkat feels a rock plummet into his stomach. 

_Stupid fool, goddamn son of a bitch, I would have helped you, would have saved you—you didn’t have to be a stupid fucking knight, you dumbass shitlord,_ _I could have been your knight!_

Karkat _ did  _ get angry.

Karkat got angry in the middle of sex. In the  _ middle of a scene _ . He can still hear the relentless slap of flesh, Dave’s low, growling voice—

_ Shut up, shut up— _

“I got angry,” Karkat whispers.

He’d hurt him. He’d HURT DAVE, he’d hurt him, he hurt him—

Karkat can’t breathe. He already fucked this up. What if all this _ fucking _ beast wants is to rip Dave apart, that’s why it’s so anxious to be free—

No, no, NO—he doesn’t, he would NEVER— 

What if he’s a monster too, he’s no better than Damara, he’s a FREAK, a freak who wants to HURT DAVE— 

“I got angry, I couldn’t—“ Karkat gasps, “I didn’t—no— _ no _ —“

  
  
  


Feferi gently nudges at Eridan, who pulls away, and she slides across the couch to take Karkat's hands.

"Breathe, Karkat." She says gently. "It's alright. You were inexperienced, people make mistakes. It's alright." She squeezes his hands reassuringly, gently. 

She breathes slowly, deeply, encouraging Karkat to match with him.

"It's alright. Mistakes happen." She soothes him. "You learn from them and then you move on." She smiles softly, squeezing Karkat's hands again.

"It's not talked about much, but doms can drop, too."

  
  
  


Feferi takes Karkat’s hands and tells him to breathe. Her reassuring touch and voice pulls him back into his own head, and he’s able to watch as Feferi breathes in and out, slowly. After a moment, he matches her breaths, letting out the exhale shakily at first, but after a few tries, his breathing is steady. 

Once his mind catches up and is able to process Feferi’s words, he nods gently, looking down at their joined hands. Feferi is stroking his knuckles with her thumbs. 

“Doms can drop?” Karkat says curiously, looking back up at Feferi. “Is that what happened when I got angry, or...?” 

Does that mean he couldn’t control it? Feferi says he was inexperienced, that mistakes happen, but what if he dropped and then got angry? What will happen if he drops again—

What if he drops every time, he can’t stop it, he always gets angry and then Dave—

Dave will—

Feferi’s thumbs still brush over his knuckles. His hands feel numb.

"It could be." Feferi says. "Doms experience drops differently than subs--sometimes outbursts, emotions that are hard to control, sometimes depressive states--especially when they push their subs in ways that might be discomforting to one or both of them." Feferi explains. "Part of dealing with it is learning control--part of it is learning how to ground yourself and let it pass, and part of it is letting your sub take care of  _ you _ ."

"If you find yourself dropping frequently- you need to step back and figure out what part of domming is causing you distress and making you drop."

  
  
  


Karkat’s eyelids flutter as he tries to process the things Feferi is saying to him. 

So he experienced a drop right in the middle of their scene? Emotions were obviously pretty high that day, and Karkat—though he hates to admit—had a lot of pent up anger and frustration towards the fact that Dave never reached out to him in all that time. He knows—he  _ knows _ —that there were a thousand reasons why Dave didn’t—why he  _ couldn’t _ —

But Karkat couldn’t keep it down. He couldn’t control himself, and the rage just fell out of him before he could stop it. And because he couldn’t control it, he hurt Dave. 

He  _ had _ to learn control. 

The beast needed to be _ tamed _ . 

He would never let it dig its claws into Dave ever again. 

What was it about domming that made him drop? Was his fear of hurting Dave somehow, in a twisted and darkly ironic way, the very thing that made him hurt Dave the most? 

Or was  _ something else _ triggering that enraged response? 

And if so, then what  _ was _ it? 

Karkat searches his mind for an answer, but it comes up blank. He doesn’t know the root of it. Karkat swallows a thick lump in his throat and his brow furrows in concentration. 

If he can’t find the root cause of this anger he’ll never be able to get control of it. 

Karkat closes his eyes. Pretends that it’s Dave holding his hands right now, rubbing them soothingly. That they’re sitting on Karkat’s well-worn, cheap, but soft couch back home. Not in some goddamn castle in the middle of Los Angeles. 

He can’t believe it’s only been a few hours since he saw Dave, since he tackled him to the airport floor and kissed him all over while they both laughed and cried like idiots. It feels like he hasn’t seen Dave for weeks. 

He just wants to hear his voice. 

Karkat opens his eyes, and for a moment, he almost sees Dave’s hands. Calloused fingers, little white scars breaking through the smatters of freckles. Then it’s Feferi’s hands again. 

“I’ll try and control it,” Karkat says finally.

He  _ had _ to. 

“I  _ will _ control it,” he says instead, looking up to meet Feferi’s eyes. “As long as it takes.”

  
  
  


Feferi smiles softly. "Good. But you can't let it  _ consume _ you, Karkat. Balance in everything, even yourself." 

She squeezes Karkat's hands one last time before letting go, sliding back to lean on the arm again, Eridan re-settling his head on Feferi's thigh. 

"It's a lot of practice." Feferi says. "But it's rewarding. It's worth it." She smiles, sinking her hand back into Eridan's hair. "And with what Dave's gone through- it will only help the both of you." 

Her gaze goes sly and warm. "And... he'll be  _ completely _ yours- mind, body, _ soul _ ."

But then her expression goes serious. "It's a _ responsibility _ , Karkat. You have to be ready to possess him, in every sense of the word. You have to be ready to pull him apart and keep him safe when his soul is exposed and vulnerable, so easily shattered."

" _ Can you handle that responsibility _ ?"

  
  
  


Mind, body, and soul. 

_ Completely _ his. 

_ Mine. _

It wasn’t the first time the thought had come to Karkat, of course. Obviously one of the biggest reasons he felt drawn to being with Dave in a dominant role was about the factor of  _ possession _ . The greediness of it stoked a fire in the pit of Karkat’s belly like nothing else could. 

It went both ways. He loved being Dave’s as much as he loved Dave being his. He loved when Dave would say  _ you’re all mine _ . He loved the way Dave shuddered beneath him when Karkat pinned his hands to the bed, or even just pressed his body against Dave’s when they made out together on the couch. 

Dave _ liked  _ when Karkat made him helpless, and Karkat liked having Dave at his mercy. 

And if he could do this right, if he was patient and he and Dave took their time to carefully traverse this, if Karkat could control that fire, that _ beast _ —

Then Dave would  _ belong to him _ . 

Maybe it was why Karkat was so eager to marry him, why he’d dropped a proposal on him within the first 24 hours of being back together. 

But they weren’t married yet. Hell, Karkat didn’t even have a ring to put on Dave’s finger. 

But he still  _ wanted _ Dave, all of Dave. And no piece of paper was going to make that so. Not in the way it truly mattered. It was a legal binding, making half of Karkat’s shit belong to Dave and vice versa. It wasn’t a bond of the soul.

Mind, body, and soul. 

“ _ Can you handle that responsibility _ ?” 

Feferi’s voice completely shifts as she says the words, and Karkat feels a shiver crawl up his back. It makes his bones vibrate, his veins pulse. The tether goes completely slack. The beast is still shackled, but isn’t being pulled back. Without trying to be restrained, it’s  _ calm _ . It doesn’t fight against its bonds, it doesn’t try to get free. 

It knows it’s only a matter of time now. It just has to be  _ patient _ . 

It  _ purrs _ . 

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Karkat nearly  _ growls _ , “I can.”


	3. Chapter 3

Feferi smiles, slow and satisfied at whatever she sees in Karkat's face.

" _ Good _ ," she purrs. " _ That's  _ what I wanted to see, Karkat." Her fingers scratch through Eridan's hair, gentle and firm. "You're going to be a good dom, I can tell."

"It will be hard." Feferi warns. "It will be  _ immensely _ difficult at times, doing the right thing for what Dave needs. But remember this--"

"Above all, being a dom should be fun." she stresses. "If you find yourself hating or dreading it--  _ take a break _ . No one can be a dom all the time. Do  _ not  _ play if you're not in a stable or ready headspace for it--because things  _ will  _ go wrong, understand? No matter how you try and hide any upset feelings or anger- it  _ will  _ come out in a scene, no matter how you try and control it. If you and Dave have a fight or you've had a bad day--do _ not  _ do a scene."

  
  
  


It should be  _ fun _ .

_ That daddy stuff, it’s just something to do for fun, you know?  _

Dave didn’t know how to have fun while also being submissive. He only knew a desperate desire to be good, or else he’d be punished. Karkat  _ wanted _ it to be fun. 

Karkat nods along firmly to Feferi’s instructions. Then he finds himself grinning and lifting an eyebrow playfully. 

“Well, that’s rule number one to any healthy marriage, right?” he says slyly, “Don’t go to bed mad.” 

Then, he perks up, blinking. Oh right, Feferi probably didn’t know...

“Oh, I don’t know if Dave mentioned it in that letter but, uh—we’re engaged.” Karkat  _ still _ feels giddy any time he gets to say it, and can’t help the toothy smile and pleased flush that comes to his face. 

Then, Karkat shuffles a bit on the couch, looking over at the other couch where Feferi was sitting before, where the letter still sits neatly-folded. 

“Uh, what—what  _ did  _ Dave say in his letter, anyway?” he wasn’t going to ask but, fuck it. The curiosity is killing him. 

And apparently Dave gave Feferi permission to let Karkat ask whatever he wanted, so Karkat assumes he’d be privy to whatever Dave wrote in that letter, too.

  
  
  


Feferi giggles a little. “He did!” She says. “Congratulations, by the way. I’m happy for you two.” 

She picks up the letter and unfolds it for a moment, looking at the last page.

“Why don’t you see yourself?” She asks, puts the pages in order, and holds them out to Karkat to take.

Feferi,   


Hey. Yo. It’s Dave. You’ve probably guessed this because my incredible, amazing, darling boyfriend Karkat presumably walked up, introduced himself to you, and handed you this letter. If this is your boyfriend reading it right now, fuck off and give this to Feferi already.   


Man, Fef, I hope you’ve made him less of a bastard by now. It’s been how long? Christ, are you two married yet? If you’re married, congrats, but also how could you not invite me?? If you aren’t married what the fuck are you waiting for, armegeddon? That is if you’re still together. Man that’d be awkward if you aren’t still together. Oh I hope you are and for the sake of my own sanity I’m going to assume that you are so. Mazel tov and all that or whatever.   


I bet it’s weird to just get a letter from me out of the blue, huh? Well Karkat was coming down this way and I don’t even know if I’m going to ask him to bring this to you, but I guess if you’re reading this then I must have asked him to bring it so yeah. Reading it. I figured might as well give you a brief (or not so brief, we’ll see) update on, well, everything.   


Hey, first- Karkat!!!! Holy shit am I right? I can’t believe he’s actually still with me after everything. Like. Goddamn. I’m so fucking lucky holy shit. Look at that man. He’s fucking handsome as shit and so fucking patient with me and I seriously cannot appreciate him enough.   


He ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM, FEFERI. This wasn’t even a recent fucking development!!! First fucking day back together and he popped the goddamn question and like give a man a bit of warning I know I said yes but it’s like goddamn shellshock- sometimes I find myself going ‘but does he _mean_ it????’ to which. Obviously the answer is _yes_ but holy shit. Goddamn. You know me I’m usually such a fucking fountain of words but somehow all I can come up with is holy shit. So that better tell you something.   


Is there some way you’re supposed to act when you’re engaged??? Sometimes I feel like there’s some hidden social rules that I’m missing out on- but I guess it… doesn’t really matter? If that makes sense? With Karkat it almost feels like… nothing really matters except for us. That’s a pretty terrifying feeling. I kinda wish we could talk for real- you always did such a good job of sticking my head on straight whenever I needed it.   


I really really really don’t want to fuck this up, Fef. I’m fucking terrified of destroying this without even trying to and goddamn. Sometimes I really wish I still had you to just talk with but I don’t know your number. Kinda regret destroying my phone, but I know it was for the best. It really really was for the best.   


Cause like- not gonna lie, those first couple of months were real fucking rough. I’m pretty sure there were about three different points where, if I still had my phone, I would have come running right on back to Damara- so thanks for stopping me from doing that. I made it, though. I fucking made it. I made it and now Karkat’s here and he wants me again and that’s worth more than anything Damara could ever lie to me about.   


You remember the internship I scored? I work directly under a scientist named Roxy- I’m pretty sure you two would get on like- not a house, a whole fucking block on fire, probably. She’s just the right mix of bubbly and batshit- I’d love to see you two get drunk and try to pull some crazy fucking shit. She’s also a goddamn genius and I bet she’d love to pick your brain on your stupidly large amount of information on marine biology.   


Shit, that reminds me. I’m putting a thing in the letter for you. I hope you still remember that joke, oh angel of cephalopods (I had to try three times for my spell checker to finally realize what I was trying to spell, isn’t that sad?), because if you don’t this is going to be a really really weird gift.   


You don’t have to wear it or anything- I just want you to know that like. I’m still thinking of you sometimes. You really did a lot for me, Fef, I don’t know if I can ever pay you back. You pretty much were the only goddamn rope I had in that pit of vipers and you didn’t even frey, not a single goddamn strand.   


Not to get overly sentimental or anything. You know me, how much I despise sentiment. All those times I cried into your bosom? All faking.   


Seriously though. Thank you. I really don’t feel like I can say it enough. I fucking owe you so goddamn much, you glorious fucking angel of cephalopods (cheated that time and copy-pasted). Without you, I’d still be there with Damara- actually, thinking about it, by this time I probably would have just killed myself. I certainly thought about it enough times while I _was_ there, there’s actually no doubt that I would have killed myself by now.   


So that's double over you’ve saved me. Maybe even thrice.   


Fuck that got morbid fast. Sorry. Here, lemme talk about something happier.   


Illinois Tech is fucking _awesome_. Not really much else to say about that. I couldn’t have picked a better school to get a full ride to, especially considering that by some _sheer fucking miracle_ , Karkat _also went to this school_. Like, holy shit, am I right? It’s like the universe was finally taking some fucking pity on my for the first time in my life. Saying ‘hey, you’ve been through enough shit, how about finally getting something good in your life?’ and then fucking delivering on it like a goddamn miracle worker.   


I feel like I need to tell you something that’ll make you disappointed in me, though. I didn’t actually seek out Karkat. I know, I know I promised that I would, if only to apologize- but I didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m was too much of a fucking coward to reach out, even with being free from Damara’s clutches. I was fucking terrified and so I chicked out and for so fucking long I just pretended the problem didn’t exist.   


I know. I let you down. I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t been such a coward because, as it turns out, Karkat didn’t hate me. I still don’t understand it. I hurt him so fucking bad and he’s been nothing but patient and kind and gentle. I just don’t _get it_ , Fef. I feel like I’m fucking… I dunno, taking advantage of him sometimes. Like he should be getting furious at me for what I did, for how I hurt him- and he’s just… not.   


How the hell did I get so fucking lucky? Good shit just doesn’t _happen_ to me, Fef. I’m still waiting for the other shoe, sometimes. I know, I know there’s probably not one coming, but god. I keep looking over my shoulder and thinking ‘okay, where is it, I know it’s coming’. I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up because I just _know_ I’m gonna do it somehow.   


But. I still haven’t yet, so that’s gotta count for _something,_ right? I hope. I love Karkat so fucking much, Fef. So goddamn much it fucking hurts. I don’t know what to do with all of this shit inside my chest. It’s terrifying. It’s the best fucking thing I’ve felt and it’s _terrifying_ because I know that I could just shatter it without trying to.   


Karkat always tells me how we need to build a bridge and shit, how we need to make our foundations solid and strong and god I’m trying but holy fuck sometimes it feels like I’m trying to build on fucking cotton candy. Just the slightest wrong move and it’ll crumple and then I’ll cry and it’ll all melt and fall away.   


My therapist says this is a natural response to both the traumatic shit Damara put me through and also not having a stable foundation of a home life for basically like. Ever. But it’s still fucking terrifying trying to play goddamn jenga and get that cotton candy swapped out with something more solid without bringing the whole thing down.   


Oh, yeah, that’s another thing. Officially in therapy now. Shit’s fucking _weird_ but like- a good weird. It’s like the platonic version of helping through subdrop I guess??? Is that a weird way to put it? I feel like that’s a weird way to put it. Whatever, I’m not changing it. I though I’d fucking hate it because literally everyone ever who goes to therapy in like shows and shit always hate it and never wants to be there and all the therapists are pricks anyway but literally this could not be _more_ different than that. My therapist has fucking bean bag chairs in her office. How fucking cool is that?   


I don’t know if it’s actually doing anything for me, but Karkat has been telling me how much better I’m doing and how proud he is of me for making progress so I guess it must be doing _something_. I don’t know how to like… quantify what it’s doing, but I want to be better. I want to be okay, I want to be good again. Or, I guess, just… good. For the first time. I don’t know that I’ve ever been good, but… I think I’ve been pretty fucking close, with Karkat.   


Don’t worry about trying to hide things, by the way. Karkat knows about… well, anything that comes to mind I’m pretty sure he knows about, and anything he doesn’t I don’t want to try and hide from him anyway. He knows about Demara, knows about me and what she put me through- some of it, not all of it of course, just because there was so… much. So feel free to air out all of my sicknasty dirty laundry, yo. Or, I guess. Just answer any questions Karkat might have. That works too.   


He’s probably gonna have a lot of questions. If I did this the cowardly way, which I bet I did because I know myself, I’m just gonna have shoved this on him at the last moment and not explained anything because vulnerability is for fools, right? Haha. Ugh.   


Christ. I’m a wreck. But I’m an _alive_ wreck, which is much better than a dead one. So, yeah. Thanks again. I bet you’re going to get annoyed at how many times I keep repeating myself but holy fucking shit Fef I owe you so goddamn much. Not even for getting me out, but just for… everything. I know I cried on you a lot and you didn’t even tell me to shut up once and that’s pretty fucking cool of you because like I’m pretty sure I would tell me to shut up at least once.   


I’m going to get real fucking weepy on you again so hopefully your infinite angel cephalopod patience continues and your patience doesn’t run out.   


I think I might have fucked something up real fucking bad and I don’t know what to do about it. I really really wish that I could talk to you directly but I’m also terrified to do so I guess I’ll just lay it out here and then when I give you my phone number at the end you can call me and… fuck, I dunno, tell me how I fucked it up but it’s okay and I can fix it or you can tell me I’m just being dumb.   


First night we got together Karkat tried to dom me. And I fucked it up really hard and I’m pretty sure now he’s not ever going to touch me like that again. And that’s _fine_ , you know, right? If he doesn’t want to do that, then that’s fine, I’ll deal- I love him too fucking much to let something like him not wanting to scene with me for being a fuckup to stop me from loving him and he, for some reason, still clearly loves me. But I fucked it up and now I think he’s never going to want to be a dom for me again and I don’t know how to fix this.   


I broke the scene and switched and I hurt him, Fef. I forced him into fucking submission because I lost my temper and I hurt him _so bad_. We both broke down pretty hard over it but he got it worse. He…definitely got it worse.   


I just don’t know what to do to fix this. I want so fucking bad sometimes, Fef. God. I hate this, I hate feeling like this. I hate fucking the clawing anxiety in my goddamn throat every time I think about it, I hate the fucking _cravings_ I get and having to fucking... God, I don’t know, get him to give me _something_ without him realizing it. It fucking makes my skin crawl but what the fuck can I say? ‘Hey, I know I fucked this up so badly that you never want to touch me like that again, but can you try anyway?’   


I feel so fucking pathetic over it sometimes. I made this fucking situation so now I get to fucking lie in the bed I made for being a bad sub. Eternal punishment is just not getting anything anymore. It’s what I deserve, I guess, cause I fucked Karkat up so hard.   


More depressing topics, huh? Sorry. That’s kind of a low note to end this on. I want to say something else but I don’t quite know what to say other than thanks. You got me out, you made me stay out, you got me to the college where I would meet Karkat again.   


This is gonna be _real_ fucking sappy so feel free to close this and ignore the rest of this letter. Just go right ahead and shut it. Toss it in the trash.   


Okay, I warned you.   


You’re the best fucking person I’ve ever known. When Karkat and I get married, I want you to be the one to walk me down the aisle. You’re the only person who I would trust to do it- who would feel _right_ for them to do it.   


Well, that might make you cry too, but at least that might be happy tears.   


Thanks for everything, Fef. I hope you’re just as happy as I am.   


Dave.   


Karkat takes the letter from Feferi and dives right in. It’s five fucking pages long, thankfully Dave didn’t write on both sides of the paper, but his penmanship is small, and he always feels the need to write in red pen. Karkat’s eyes are straining to read by halfway down page two. 

But he’s got the goofiest smile on his face as he reads Dave’s words, and he can  _ hear  _ Dave’s voice as he reads, clear as day. He already missed him so much it ached and this certainly wasn’t helping but he can’t keep the smile off his face anyway. It feels like Dave could be sitting on the couch beside him, talking to him. 

It feels so good to hear Dave being so enthusiastic, and he can’t help but admit that he’s pleased as punch that Dave is gushing so much about him. Pink fills his cheeks as he reads Dave’s sweet words, and he hears a small laugh burst out of him. 

The grin lowers into a slightly twisted smile as he reads further, getting to the part where Dave is fearful of fucking things between him and Karkat up. Dave thinks he’s taking advantage of him? That Karkat should be angry with him, instead of treating him with patience and kindness. It makes Karkat’s heart ache to read the words, scrawled out in Dave’s own hand. He clutches the papers tighter. 

Karkat feels his emotions going all over the place, reading through the letter. One moment he’s smiling, he’s laughing, he’s glowing with pride.The next his chest aches as Dave mentions his first few months of freedom, where he wanted to be back with Damara. The way he talks so flippantly about taking his own life. How he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Then he’s mentioning therapy, and talking about the times Karkat mentioned the bridge and wow why is it making him choke up with pride and adoration to know Dave was hearing him, that he understood and he carried it with him to the point he mentioned it in his letter? 

_ I don’t know that I’ve ever been good, but...I think I’ve been pretty fucking close, with Karkat. _

Okay, that finally squeezes a tear out. Karkat scrubs it away and keeps reading. 

Then Karkat’s face falls as Dave talks about their first day back together. When their scene broke apart and they both crumpled to pieces. 

Dave knew Karkat had been avoiding it.

Dave thinks it was  _ his  _ fault. That Karkat had it worse in that moment, as if Karkat hadn’t been the one to lose  _ his _ temper before Dave did. Karkat was the one who dropped— _ he _ broke the scene, he switched Dave by triggering a negative response, this was  _ his  _ fault, not Dave’s—

And _ Dave _ , poor fucking Dave has been _ suffering in silence _ about it this _ entire time _ . 

By the time Karkat has finished reading the letter, he’s got tears freely running down his cheeks. He sets the papers down beside him on the couch so he can wipe at his eyes, sniffling. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Karkat mumbles wetly, quickly trying to swipe away the fallen tears. “I should have known that he knew. I should have just fucking talked to him about it, then he wouldn’t have been feeling like this all this time...” 

Karkat feels like the absolute scum of the earth. Dave calls him _ incredible, amazing, darling, handsome, patient, kind, gentle _ —but Karkat got angry, he broke the scene, he hurt Dave, and then he shut him out. Made Dave feel like it was all his fault.

“It’s the first fucking rule. His therapist says it and so did you:  _ communication _ .” Karkat rakes his fingers through his hair, beyond frustrated with himself. “And I fucked up right out of the gate. This has been going on since  _ day fucking one _ and I didn’t do anything about it.” 

Karkat wants to go back to the airport and get on the next flight back to Chicago. He wants to get back to Dave and tell him he’s sorry, wants to hold him and tell him he loves him, that it’s  _ not his fault _ —

Why did he let his stupid fear control him? Dave was more important to him than that. Fuck, he misses him so goddamn much, he just wants to see him, he just wants to go back home and see Dave. 

Fresh tears gather and run down Karkat’s cheeks and he scrubs his face on his sleeve. Karkat pulls his arm away and stares down at the floor, his hands clenched into the cushions. 

“I  _ have _ to make it right.” Karkat mutters.

  
  
  


Feferi gives him a small, understanding smile. It's a lot to take in, realizing that you've been doing something wrong and hurting someone for all this time, but it makes her so fucking happy to see how easily Karkat is admitting wrongdoing. That's a good sign- that means he's willing to change and be  _ better _ for Dave.

She can't help the overwhelming pride she feels for Dave. He got out and  _ stayed out  _ and that's incredible. He has an actual _ future _ instead of being trapped in Damara's clutches for all eternity. 

There are things in Dave's letter that makes her heart ache- but she knows that she can help, right here and now, just by teaching Karkat to be better and helping him learn and have the tools to be better for Dave. 

"How are you going to do that?" Feferi asks. "It's easy enough to  _ say _ you'll do something- it's much harder to actually do it." 

Eridan is leaning against her thigh still, and he looks relaxed, but Feferi can feel the tension in his neck and shoulders when she sweeps her fingers down lower. He and Dave only knew each other briefly- a handful of weeks at most- but Feferi knows that despite his prickly attitude, he was just as concerned about Dave as she was.

  
  


Karkat looks up at Feferi’s words. She’s still sitting across from him, smiling at him patiently while she strokes her fingers delicately down Eridan’s neck. Eridan is watching him too, with a levelled but calm expression. 

Karkat swallows thickly. His tears have stopped (he’s grateful that his bouts of crying are usually over as quick as they begin) and he swipes his thumb across his eyes one last time to get rid of the excess moisture built into his eyelashes. He takes a deep breath. 

“Well,” he says, “I’m about to be apart from him for an entire week, for the first time since we got back together. So I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be an impatient fucker and pounce on him the moment I see him in the airport.” 

He scoffs in amusement as he leans back on the couch, spreading his legs apart and folding his arms. 

“But, after I’m done making every single poor, weary traveller walking through O’Hare International immensely uncomfortable by a gratuitous amount of PDA...” Karkat says, “I’m just gonna...talk to him. I need to tell him I’m sorry. That I shouldn’t...I shouldn’t have shut him out. I shouldn’t have let my fear put this wedge between us...” 

Karkat’s face softens as he looks up at the ceiling. 

“I’m gonna write him a song,” he says. Then he looks back at Feferi. “I’ve been meaning to do that for the longest time. I mean, most of my songs were about Dave, but...they were about all the pain I was feeling. And he still thinks that he’s going to fuck everything up, that I should be angry. He says he knows that I love him, but...it feels like no matter how many times I say it, it doesn’t stick.”

Karkat sighs as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his spread-eagle knees. 

“And I’m to blame for that, because I’ve been shutting out this thing that makes him feel as though I’m...disgusted. That I think he’s a freak. I gotta tell him how wrong he is. And...well, he feels the same way I do about music. Sometimes you can only truly get things across in a song.”

Karkat runs a hand through his hair. “Sure helped me get through a lot of my shit, back then. And I know it’s always been a nice distraction for Dave, helps him organize his thoughts. Maybe he’ll only be able to hear what I’m trying to tell him if I do it that way. If he’s got something he can listen to again and again, it’s the same as a ring on his hand. A constant reminder that I’m not going anywhere.” 

Karkat lifts an eyebrow. “Do you think that could work?”

  
  
  


Feferi laughs softly at Karkat's description of the reunion-to-be, but she smiles fondly at Karkat's idea.

"That sounds like a perfect idea." She says. "Giving him something substantial like that- especially if it's something you've used in the past- it will likely be something that Dave can cling to when he needs reminding." 

"You have a responsibility to him now, Karkat. Before you didn't know, so your mistakes can be forgiven more easily- but you'll need to work hard from here on out to be what he needs. In return, you'll get to shape him into what you need in return- which means that the first thing to help correct is the hurt that you've unintentionally caused. I want you to promise me something."

She leans forwards, expression going serious. "When you see Dave again, when you go back- the first thing you are going to do is sit down and _ talk _ ."

  
  
  


Karkat doesn’t hesitate. He nods firmly, keeping his eyes locked on Feferi. 

“Yeah, of course I will.” Karkat says, “I promise.”

Karkat gets up to his feet and steps over to Feferi. “I’d say let’s shake on it, but after reading that letter and what you told me, that isn’t really gonna cut it.” 

Karkat glances down at Eridan. “Would you mind if I give Feferi a hug?”

Eridan actually looks surprised for a moment before he nods, sitting back on his heels and rising to his feet to take a step back for Feferi to get up. 

Feferi looks proud as she hops up, pulling Karkat into a tight hug.

"You're going to be a good dom, Karkat." She says into his ear. "I just know it." She hugs him, warm and firm, before pulling back and putting both of her hands on his shoulders. "I'm giving you my phone number." She says firmly. "And if  _ anything _ happens- you call me, understand?"

  
  
  
  
  


Karkat squeezes Feferi back just as tightly. He’s able to appreciate the embrace this time, unlike when she hugged him when he wasn’t expecting it. He nestles his head into her shoulder and closes his eyes. 

Her hair smells  _ really _ nice.

Karkat feels a warmth slide up his spine as Feferi speaks into his ear, and he holds back a shiver. Then Feferi pulls away, keeping her hands on his shoulders. 

Karkat nods at Feferi’s words. “I will,” he promises. 

He’s still got his hands on her waist, but instead of pulling away, he gives her hips a squeeze. 

“Feferi, I...I don’t even know what to say, I don’t know how to thank you. If it wasn’t for you, Dave would have...” Karkat closes his eyes and shakes his head, not able to say the words. “I was in a dark place too, when Dave left. And I let it consume me for a long time, before I met Jade. She’s why I came to California. If she hadn’t been there for me, I would have let go. I think the only equivalent that comes close to what Jade did for me, is what you did for Dave. And you did even  _ more _ than that. You got him out. Convinced him that he could, when he was at his lowest point and thought he wasn’t worth anything. I don’t even think I could have done what you did for him. You have been the  _ one _ steady and constant thing in his life. And that means more to me than you’ll ever know or I’ll ever be able to say. And I’m as much of a long-winded bitch as Dave is, so I could go on for a while.” 

Karkat pulls Feferi in by the waist for another hug. 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” Karkat whispers, “I’ll do right by him, I promise. I’ll be there for him just like you were, I want to be that for him. I  _ need _ to.”

  
  
  


Feferi hugs Karkat again, warm and soft and reassuring. "I know you will." She says. "I believe in you, Karkat. You want to be what he needs, you want to be good for him and help him be better." 

She tightens her arms around him for a moment. "You're a good man, Karkat." She murmurs. "I'm glad you're the one that Dave loves." 

Then she pulls back and gives his hair a quick, affectionate ruffle, before something occurs to her.

"Oh, does this mean you approve of him asking for me to walk him down the aisle?" She asks, a hint of teasing to her tone. "Do you have any wedding plans yet? Spring, summer, fall, winter?"

  
  
  


Karkat feels his face get  _ very  _ warm when Feferi ruffles his hair, and it only gets warmer when she asks Karkat about wedding plans. 

“Of course I do. I can’t believe he’s never even mentioned you to me before now. Maybe he figured I’d be so overcome with gratitude I would run down to California so I could kiss you right on the mouth.” 

Karkat makes a point of stepping away from Feferi after he says this, however, feeling Eridan’s gaze drilling holes into him.

“If there’s a ‘guest of honour’ thing for weddings then that’s what I’d do, and if it’s never been done before then fuck it, I knew mine and D’s wedding was gonna be unconventional somehow.” Karkat shrugs, “We would both love to have you there. But if you ever wanted to visit Illinois before then, I’m sure that would totally blow Dave’s hair back. Maybe we could surprise him—oh man, imagine the look on his face, he’d be so stoked, holy shit—his birthday is in December but you probably wouldn’t like Illinois in winter any more than he does. Whatever—I’m sure we can pin down a time for it, we can talk about it another time, whatever dates work best for—oh SHIT, what about his graduation?! You’re the one who helped him into Illinois Tech, after all! That would mean the  _ world _ to him.”

The words are falling out of Karkat’s mouth excitedly as he continues his tangent. 

“After that we could show you around the city, get some dinner—my apartments fucking cramped but I could get you a hotel for a few days. As for when the wedding is happening...man, we haven’t made any plans  _ at all _ . All we’ve said is that we’re waiting until after we’ve both graduated, but it’ll probably be even longer than that—gotta get a place together, I don’t want him to marry me and then come live full-time in my puny fucking bachelor apartment, after all. But trust me, when we’ve got a date picked out, you’ll be the first to know.”

  
  
  


Feferi gasps. "Oh, that would be  _ wonderful _ !" She says, delighted. "Nevermind the wedding, then, just keep me up to date on your plans- it'll be so good to just see Dave again-" She squeals in delight and turns and launches herself at Eridan.

Eridan catches her with the ease of someone well-used to this motion, only forced back a step. Feferi giggles, squeezes him tightly, then lets go and turns back to Karkat.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about a thing, I can cover my own costs- oh, gosh, we should make up the best places to check out, treat it like a little vacation- I bet I could swing an entire  _ week _ free and we could wander around the city when you two are busy-"

She whips her phone out of her pocket and opens up her calendar to get the dates from Karkat for Dave's graduation, marking them down and then scrolling a week or two back to start prep for the trip, then another couple of weeks back to mark a reminder to free up the week. 

"This is going to be  _ excellent _ , that's so fucking smart, thinking of his graduation- I  _ never  _ would have." Feferi declares, and grins at Karkat. "That means while you're here, I simply  _ have _ to show you around the city. You said you were here visiting a friend, right? How long are you staying?"

  
  
  


“Yeah, I’m here visiting my friend Jade while she’s on a break from classes for a week. She lives in the student dorms at Caltech, so that’s where I’m headed next.” 

As Feferi was setting dates on her calendar, Karkat added her number to his phone and added her handle to his Pesterchum. She also gives him the wifi password. He’s got a couple messages from Dave and Jade, and as much as he wants to read them he tucks his phone away again. 

“Jade and I didn’t have much planned, she wanted to show me a few spots around town of course, but mostly she’s super excited to just play music and work on songs together. So you showing me the sights sounds great, if you don’t mind Jade coming along. Dave said you and his boss Roxy would get on great, and I think the sentiment will apply to Jade, too—she sent me a message a couple minutes ago, I just want to let her know I’m good, sorry, one sec—“ 

Karkat pulls his phone back out again and opens Jade’s chat window.

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:27AM

GG: just checking to make sure you didn’t get mugged and left to bleed out on the streets!!  
GG: because your lack of response either means you found her and you are talking and things are going super great   
GG: or you’re dead!!!   
GG: so let me know if you’re seeing these asap! <3  


gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:29AM

Karkat huffs a little air out of his nose, and thumbs out a response.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]  began pestering  gardenGnostic [GG] at 11:36AM

CG: JESUS CHRIST, HARLEY.  
GG: karkat!! <3 :)   
GG: oh good you’re alive   
GG: did you find her?? did everything go okay??? what was in the letter?????   
GG: i need the hot goss, vantas!   
CG: “HOT GOSS”?   
CG: I AM FOREVER GOING TO REGRET THE DAY DAVE TOLD ME WHAT A MCELROY WAS, AND THEN I TOLD YOU. THEN ALL YOUR GRIFFIN MCELROY ENERGY OOZED OUT OF YOU LIKE I’D LANCED A GIGANTIC CYST FULL OF MCELROY JUICE YOU HAD TO HOLD INSIDE FOR YEARS BECAUSE I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE REFERENCES.   
GG: :P  
GG: that’s gross!   
GG: so where is my goss? you promised me goss   
CG: THAT IS FALSE, THESE ACCUSATIONS ARE LIES AND SLANDER.   
CG: I PROMISED YOU NO SUCH THING.   
GG: goddammit just tell me!!!   
GG: the suspense is killing meee!  
CG: YEAH, I FOUND HER.   
CG: THINGS WENT REALLY GREAT. LOOK, IT’S KIND OF WAY TOO MUCH TO GO INTO RIGHT NOW. I’LL TELL YOU MORE ABOUT IT WHEN I SEE YOU.   
CG: I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I WASN’T DEAD.   
GG: oooh i can’t wait!   
GG: okay i will leave you to it! let me know when you’re on your way!   
GG: <3  


gardenGnostic [GG]  ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:39AM

gardenGnostic [GG] is now an idle chum!

Jade signs off and Karkat closes her chat window. He sees that there are quite a few messages from Dave, and Karkat hasn’t sent a response since he left the airport. He shouldn’t leave them much longer, Dave would get worried. 

“Shit, sorry, I’ve got some from Dave, too, I shouldn’t leave them...” Karkat mumbles sheepishly. 

He opens up Dave’s chat window to check his messages.

turntechGodhead [TG]  began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]  at 10:37AM

TG: holy shit babe what a goddamn delight it is to hear from you again and know that you have not somehow ended up in a watery grave trapped in a downed airplane  
TG: ignoring the fact that you will be crossing absolutely zero large bodies of water of course  
TG: its tradition that its gotta be mountains or water right  
TG: wait no i think planes can go down in the desert  
TG: anyway point being that im glad youre safe and also holy shit i absolutely would have done that you big sap  
TG: catch me waiting for you on the flight home with a fucking guitar now  
TG: im gonna learn guitar in the span of one week just to pull that stunt  
TG: okay no im not im not gonna lie  
TG: because that sounds hard as shit  
TG: so fuck that  
TG: but i will be waiting with way too many kisses and another nic cage speech probably   
TG: lord knows ill have another one memorized from how many fucking times john is gonna make me watch his newest obsession   
TG: god that man has an unhealthy man crush on nic cage and he will never admit it as anything other than the most platonic of admirations  
TG: ignoring the fact that he has a million and twelve movie posters of the guy plastered around his dorm room and im pretty sure i caught him kissing one  
TG: oh gross  
TG: now im thinking about johns painfully not a homosexual jerkoff sessions why do i do this to myself  
TG: gonna go bleach my fucking brain hold on  
TG: okay brain bleached yehaw  
TG: anyway  
TG: i miss you too karkat  
TG: only a couple of hours and im already fucking staring out the window like a sad dog waiting for its owner to come back  
TG: moping puppy dog eyes and all  
TG: huh i wonder what i would look like as a dog  
TG: food for thought or whatever  
TG: sorry for springing the delivery on you last minute by the way  
TG: haha man it probably felt really weird  
TG: i still cant believe i actually got the courage to ask you to do it instead of just mailing it like a normal fucking person  
TG: hopefully feferis boyfriend isnt too much of a dick anymore  
TG: and you can like actually see her  
TG: if you cant its not a big deal  
TG: you can probably just leave the letter with him  
TG: hes a dick but even i dont think he would interfere with the sanctity of the mail   
TG: probably  
TG: actually im not so sure he was kind of an asshole  
TG: hope fef is just there though that would be dope  
TG: i think youll like her  
TG: shes really nice  
TG: thats actually a massive understatement haha  
TG: shes basically an angel  
TG: she can be kind of intense though hope she doesnt scare you off   
TG: anyhoo uh dont let her pull you into any crazy shit  
TG: she can be kinda wild sometimes too  
TG: but yeah hopefully you find her give her the letter and then can vamoose  
TG: be on your merry way to jade  
TG: see your friend for the first time in ages  
TG: youre probably hanging out with her right now so ill stop blowing your phone up like its the only toilet for miles and i just had the worlds worst meal of taco bell  
TG: on that inspiring note  
TG: love ya babe  
TG: talk to you soon  
turntechGodhead [TG]  ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]  at 10:45AM

carcino Geneticist [CG]  began pestering  turntechGodhead [TG]  at 11:41AM

CG: HEY.   
CG: SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE I ONLY JUST GOT WIFI A FEW SECONDS AGO SO I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGES.   
CG: I GOT TO ERIDAN’S PLACE, AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT. MAYBE WARN A GUY BEFORE SENDING HIM TO A LITERAL FUCKING MANSION. ERIDAN PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS THERE TO WASH HIS WINDOWS OR SOME SHIT.   
CG: I THOUGHT HE WAS A POMPOUS DICK AT FIRST.   
CG: AND HE STILL IS.   
CG: AND HE STARES AT ME A LOT.   
CG: BUT I THINK HE’S ALSO BEEN THROUGH A LOT. AND I DON’T HAVE ANY FRAME OF REFERENCE ABOUT WHAT HE WAS LIKE BEFORE BUT BASED ON WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HIM, I THINK HE’S COME A LONG WAY. FEFERI IS CLEARLY AS GOOD FOR HIM AS SHE WAS FOR YOU.   
CG: ALSO, HOLY SHIT??? FEFERI.   
CG: SHE’S LIKE EVERY DISNEY PRINCESS ROLLED INTO ONE. WITH LIKE, A DASH OF MALEFICENT. AND THERE’S NOT A LOT OF MOMS IN DISNEY MOVIES BUT SHE’S ALL THE MOMS, TOO.   
CG: WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT SHE’S INCREDIBLE.   
CG: WE HAD A BIG FEELINGS JAM ABOUT EVERYTHING AND HUGGED IT OUT. THE USUAL STUFF THAT COMES FROM MEETING A COMPLETE STRANGER FOR THE FIRST TIME.   
CG: SHE OFFERED TO SHOW ME AROUND, SO I WAS PROBABLY GOING TO INTRODUCE HER TO JADE AND THEN THEY CAN BOTH DRAG ME BY THE WRISTS AND SHOW ME ALL OVER CALIFORNIA.   
CG: CUE THE 80s MONTAGE MUSIC.   
CG: EXCEPT THE ENTIRE MONTAGE WILL JUST BE THE TWO OF THEM HOLDING ME BACK WHILE I SHRIEK LIKE A BANSHEE AND TRY TO GET ON THE NEXT PLANE BACK TO CHICAGO.   
CG: THEY’RE GONNA HAVE THEIR WORK CUT OUT FOR THEM BECAUSE THE PROMISE OF MORE ROMANTIC NIC CAGE LINES IS LIKE A SIREN’S CALL.   
CG: THE MAN SAID IT HIMSELF:   
CG: “NOBODY THINKS CLEARLY AT THE AIRPORT.”   
CG: ANYWAY. I HOPE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN BUMMING SOLLUX AND JOHN OUT TOO HARD WITH THAT SAD PUPPY IN THE WINDOW ACT. I’M SURE YOU LOOK ADORABLE. BUT THEN AGAIN I AM VERY BIASED.   
CG: DID YOU REMEMBER YOUR MEDS? WE HAD TO BE AT THE AIRPORT SO EARLY YOU DIDN’T TAKE THEM.  
TG: oh shit i knew there was something i was forgetting hold on   
TG: went home and slept right through my usual reminder  
TG: ok meds taken thanks babe  
TG: yeah sorry i probably should have warned you about his like  
TG: everything  
TG: but in my defense i didnt exactly have a lot of time  
TG: though thats not really an excuse either since i could have done it ages ago  
TG: but yeah feferi is like a literal goddess queen angels of every sea creature everwhere and also lost little   
TG: uh  
TG: boys maybe  
TG: nevermind that sounds weird ignore that shes just a goddess of sea creatures  
TG: ill have all the fucking lines memorized for you though so you better be ready for it  
TG: i think im getting on solluxs nerves though because he has passively aggressively been making popups show up on my computer with plane tickets to la   
TG: lemme tell you it is really really tempting  
CG: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE.  
CG: FEFERI TOLD YOU NOT TO COME BACK FOR ANY REASON AND THAT INCLUDES ME.   
CG: I AM TOTALLY GIVING HIS COMPUTER A VIRUS NOW. I’M GOING TO GIVE HIS COMPUTER FUCKING CANCER.  
CG: YOU SIT YOUR FINE ASS ON THE COUCH WITH JOHN AND YOU WATCH EVERY MOVIE HE SHITS DOWN YOUR THROAT.   
CG: I GIVE HIM FULL PERMISSION TO GO CLOCKWORK ORANGE ON YOUR (STILL FINE) ASS AND TIE YOU DOWN AND PRY YOUR EYES OPEN, SUBJECTING YOU TO EVERY GODAWFUL PIECE OF STEAMING DOGSHIT IN NIC CAGE’S FILMOGRAPHY.   
CG: YOU DON’T EVEN WANNA KNOW THE LOOK ON FEFERI’S FACE WHEN I JUST TOLD HER YOUR ROOMMATE DANGLED THE CARROT.   
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHOSE WRATH YOU SHOULD DREAD MORE, HER’S OR MINE.   
CG: OKAY LET’S NOT FUCKING KID OURSELVES HERE, NOBODY NEEDS TO SUCK MY DICK ABOUT THIS WE ALL KNOW FEFERI WOULD WIN THAT FUCKING INTIMIDATION CHECK.   
CG: BUT I’LL BE THE ONE STUFFING YOUR (SO! FUCKING!) FINE ASS ONTO THE PLANE AND SENDING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME.  
TG: okay okay  
TG: holy shit just imagining the combined power of your expressions is actually giving me goosebumps  
TG: please put a virus on sollux computer because i should really be like  
TG: not looking at this shit then  
TG: thats cruel and unusual punishment though karkat  
TG: you would willingly hand me over to johns clutches  
TG: just drop me before him and say here you go  
TG: just fuck him up  
TG: pour all that terrible terrible nic cage trivia into his head  
TG: karkat if you just want me to be like john and constantly quote nic cage just let me know  
TG: shit i hope you dont that sounds like a horrible time  
TG: and also i would become so paranoid that you would just want john instead of me  
TG: which is a travesty  
TG: like   
TG: if we are standing side by side i am clearly the better catch  
TG: and also hes not a homosexual as he so frequently claims  
TG: so guess you better stick with me karkat  
TG: check and mate  
CG: ME, FALL FOR THE STRAIGHT BOY? WHAT AM I, THIRTEEN YEARS OLD?   
CG: THEN AGAIN THAT “STRAIGHT BOY” WOUND UP BEING BISEXUAL AND IS ALSO MY FIANCÉ NOW.   
CG: THERE’S NO WAY EGBERT IS AS STRAIGHT AS HE CLAIMS HE IS, YOU CAN’T HAVE ALL THOSE POSTERS OF NIC CAGE’S PINCHED-UP SMOULDER ALL OVER YOUR ROOM AND NOT BE A TINY BIT HOMO.   
CG: METHINKS THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH.   
CG: NOT THAT IT WOULD MATTER EITHER WAY BECAUSE I AM ENGAGED TO THE SEXIEST MAN ON THE PLANET SO EVEN JOHN’S SPARKLY BABY BLUES LOOK LIKE THE WATER IN A PORTA POTTY.   
CG: OH SHIT.  
CG: THAT’S WHY THEY CALL THEM PORTA JOHNS. I JUST CRACKED THE CODE.   
CG: ANYWAY AS SOON AS I GET TO JADE’S AND GET ON MY LAPTOP I AM ABSOLUTELY SENDING SOLLUX A VIRUS. HE’S GOING TO GET SO STARK-RAVING MAD HE’LL DEVELOP LAZER VISION AND BLAST A HOLE THROUGH HIS MONITOR.   
CG: SO YOU AND JOHN MIGHT WANT TO MOVE MOVIE NIGHT TO MY PLACE. MY MOVIE COLLECTION IS FAR SUPERIOR ANYWAY.   
CG: JUST BE SURE TO SIT ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUCH SO HIS PALPABLE CHARISMA DOESN’T LATCH ONTO YOU AND HAVE YOU CLIMBING INTO HIS LAP DURING A PARTICULARLY PASSIONATE LOVE SCENE.   
CG: BECAUSE I WILL FLY MY ASS BACK TO ILLINOIS JUST TO YEET EGBERT OUT THE WINDOW AND THEN PROMPTLY PUT YOU IN **MY** LAP.  
TG: well i just hope we dont have to help him through his glorious gay awakening because i am sure it will not be glorious at all and indeed more along the lines of a mental breakdown  
TG: dont tell me that though because now im considering it  
TG: it would get you home sooner right  
TG: maybe i should do a little egb  
TG: i cant even finish that sentence i think i almost retched  
TG: yeah nevermind im not going to even look at john flirtatiously as a joke  
TG: miss you though babe  
TG: i wish you were here  
TG: already jerked off once thinkin about you   
TG: saddest jerkoff session of my life lemme tell you that  
CG: JESUS FUCK   
CG: YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME SHIT LIKE THAT WHEN I’M STANDING RIGHT THE FUCK IN FRONT OF FEFERI.   
CG: JESUS CHRIST SHE IS GIVING ME THE SMARMIEST FUCKING SMIRK RIGHT NOW.   
CG: I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS SAD IT’S STILL YOU TOUCHING YOUR DICK WITHOUT ME.   
CG: SO UNFAIR.   
CG: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOURSELF AGAIN UNTIL I GET BACK.   
CG: BECAUSE I AM THAT MUCH OF A JEALOUS BITCH THAT I’M ENVIOUS OF YOUR OWN FUCKING HAND.   
CG: ALSO I DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO HEAR YOU TELL ME YOU’RE TOUCHING YOURSELF WHILE THINKING OF ME WHEN I AM OVER TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND MILES AWAY AND CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT.   
CG: OKAY, YEP. IT’S BEEN DECIDED.   
CG: YOU ARE **NOT** ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOURSELF.  
TG: i  
TG: what the fuck thats so unfair  
TG: babe we have been fucking basically every day since we got back together  
TG: you want me to go a week without getting a single nut  
TG: i dont know if i have that willpower  
TG: my dick will be hurting and desperate by tomorrow  
TG: you cant just drop shit like that on me out of nowhere  
TG: hng  
TG: ill try though  
CG: GOOD.   


Karkat stares dumbly at his screen for a moment, with no idea what else to say. 

He looks up at Feferi, looking sheepish.

“I just told Dave not to touch himself all week.” Karkat blurts out. 


	4. Chapter 4

Wow. Wow, wow. What the fuck, Karkat didn’t know he was so flexible, being able to keep his foot wedged in his mouth for this long.

“This is absolutely not what you meant by talking,” Karkat says, “Shit. Fuck. I’m, uh—I’m just gonna tell him I was kidding.”

  
  


  
Feferi’s brows raise, her expression going incredulous for a moment. Her eyes look heavenwards for a moment.

“Are you serious?” Eridan asks, his tone full of irritation. “The one fuckin thing Fef told-” He falls silent as Feferi holds a hand out to him, but his expression is sliding more distinctly back towards a sneer.

“You know?” Feferi says mildly, “you two are made for each other, clearly. You’re both _idiots_.”

She shakes her head with a small laugh. “My _personal_ recommendation would be to take it back and not do do anything that could lean towards D/s play until after you get back and talk. But, well,” she gives a pointed glance at Karkat’s phone, “I can’t exactly _stop_ you.”

  
  


  
Karkat bites his lip, and looks from Feferi and back to his phone.

“You _can_ stop _me_ ,” Karkat says, “But if anyone is more stubborn than me, it’s Dave. Like you said, we’re made for each other.”

Karkat pouts down at his phone screen, his thumbs hovering over the keys.

“I feel like even if I took it back, he wouldn’t back down.” Karkat mutters, “He said it himself in that letter that he gets… _cravings_ ,” Karkat swallows thickly after saying the word, “So he’ll probably do it just to get himself there.”

And _god_ the thought of _that_ makes Karkat’s stomach do a backflip. The beast kicks up it’s purring.

Maybe Karkat could swing this to his advantage, somehow. Yeah, he tripped and face-planted right out of the gate and didn’t obey Feferi’s single request. But there was no taking it back now, that much Karkat knew for certain. He could take it back, but Dave _wouldn’t_. So if Dave wasn’t going to back down…

Why should he?

This could be the perfect chance to start practicing. With them separated like this, it’s not like these messages could lead to anything where Karkat could drop or switch and make a mistake.

This was _purely_ communicative. Leave instructions for Dave to adhere to. Praise him when he obeyed. Punish when he didn’t.

And with the distance, Dave didn’t have _pain_ to fear with punishment. Punishments could just be…Karkat doesn’t message him for a few hours? Or maybe he sends Dave some sexy pictures of himself while Dave _still isn’t allowed to touch himself_ —

Oh yeah. This could work. He could do this.

  
  


CG: BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU HAVEN’T OR NOT?   
CG: I MEAN SURE, I COULD TELL YOU NOT TO JERK OFF AND YOU CAN SAY YOU WON’T.   
CG: AND THEN YOU COULD DO IT ANYWAYS AND THEN SAY YOU DIDN’T.   
CG: SO UNLESS YOU CAN THINK OF SOME WAY TO PROVE IT, LET’S JUST KIBOSH THE WHOLE THING.   
CG: HOW ABOUT THIS.   
CG: YOU TELL ME WHEN IT GETS TO BE TOO MUCH, AND YOU ASK PERMISSION.   
CG: AND IF YOU CAN DO THAT, I’LL LET YOU CUM.

  
  


  
There’s a long pause like Dave is thinking of a response.

  
  


TG: okay yeah holy shit i am so fucking down for that   
TG: i think i need to go take a cold shower right the fuck now   
TG: because babe you are really really fucking revving my engine right now jesus christ   
TG: hhhhng   
TG: okay no i need to go shower i love you so much holy shit

  
  


Feferi hums a little in understanding at Karkat’s words. “In that case, it’s best to make the most of the situation you have.” She says. “It’s easier to say things that you might otherwise find embarrassing over text, no?” She gives Karkat a sly look.

  
  


  
Karkat nods, looking a bit meek. It was _true_ though, it was a lot easier to say all of this shit over text.

Without being able to see the expression on Dave’s face, or Dave being able to see how truly nervous Karkat looked, Karkat didn’t have a million other things to think about. He could even take his sweet time coming up with the perfect thing to say, instead of just saying and doing whatever he could think of in the heat of the moment.

Plus, Karkat had a _very_ vivid imagination.

He can picture Dave now, scrambling off to the shower. Eyes squeezed shut as he steels himself to step under the ice-cold spray.

And he made Dave _hard_ . Already. Just from telling him to _ask permission_. He feels a little breathless now just at the thought, the power of it all making heat drip into his belly.

Karkat tucks his phone away and looks back up at Feferi, and this time the meek sheepishness is gone. Karkat’s expression matches Feferi’s sly, warm smile.

“Well, _teacher_?” Karkat asks softly, “Any pointers for long-distance domming?”

  
  


  
Feferi laughs a little as Karkat’s expression matches hers.

“Unfortunately I have not actually had a lot of experience with long-distance domination, but the principles are the same.” She says. “Be clear in your directions. Trust that Dave is obeying you, but check in to make sure that he _is_.”

She hums a little in thought, her fingers buried in Eridan’s hair again, the three of them having resumed their positions on the couch. “Given what you’re having him to, you’ll want to encourage him to talk to you. Things like how many times he almost jerked off, how many times he touched himself but stopped, and reward him for being honest. Tell him how proud you are of him for obeying your orders, how good he is for doing it- things like that.”

  
  


  
Karkat gets situated on the couch again, resting his chin in his hand as he props his elbow on his knee. His other leg is hanging off the couch, his legs spread apart. Normally his body language is never this open, not even around Dave.

He drums his fingers slowly on his knee. Watches the water rolling down Dave’s skin as he stands under the cold water. There’s no steam, so Karkat can make out every detail.

Is the cold water helping? Even if it got rid of Dave’s hard-on, he wonders for how long Dave will stay under the cold water, until he’s certain it won’t just spring back to life as soon as he steps out.

Karkat wishes he was there. Pulling the curtain aside and twisting the tap to hot. Stepping in behind Dave, pressing his hand to the small of his back, encouraging him to bend over…

He had gone from a slow, rhythmic drumming of his fingers, to a fast tapping. Then he had to clench tightly onto his knee to keep from popping a boner right the hell in front of Feferi and Eridan.

He bats at the sexy imagery of Dave in the shower out of his mind with a broom, shaking his head as though to clear the residual afterimages out.

“Right,” he says finally, letting Feferi know he was actually listening. Kind of.

Karkat glances down at Eridan. “How about you?” he asks, “If you were in Dave’s shoes right now…what would you want from me?”

  
  


  
Feferi gives him a little knowing smile as Karkat finally responds, guessing exactly where his head went from the expression on his face.

Eridan takes a minute to consider the question, his gaze flicking away even as Feferi continues to pet his hair.

“Reassurance,” he finally says. “that I wwould be followwing instructions properly. Regular check ins to give the feeling of being wwatched over.”

He huffs a little, looking to Karkat. “Doesn’t seem all too different to me.” He says, shifting slightly to be more comfortable on the floor.

  
  


  
Karkat hums thoughtfully and goes back to drumming his fingers slowly, his eyes flicking back up to the ceiling.

“You’re right,” Karkat murmurs, “Not different at all. You just told me what Feferi said.”

His eyes are dark when they come down and meet Eridan’s again.

“That’s what _I_ should _do_ ,” Karkat says, “I asked you what _you_ would _want_.”

  
  


  
Eridan’s eyes go wide for a moment, his face flushing in response to Karkat’s words. His breathing hitches slightly, his gaze darting up to Feferi, who smiles down at him in response.

“Answer the question, Eridan.” She says.

Eridan swallows, his face going more flushed before he meets Karkat’s gaze.

“I wwould wwant to havve my dom force me to edge myself.” He says, stumbling over the words a bit. “Make me feel it- make me _beg_.” He swallows, his expression going redder and redder, but not looking away from Karkat. “And then be denied.” He whispers. “Until I’vve lasted as long as they wwant me to.”

  
  


  
Karkat watches as Eridan’s eyes go wide, and a dark flush paints his cheeks as his breath hitches.

…Huh.

Eridan looks to Feferi for a moment but she just tells him to answer. When he looks back to Karkat, he’s blushing even _harder_ as he begins to speak and only getting redder and his voice getting softer the more he does.

Karkat leans back on the arm of the couch, still looking at Eridan, seeing if he’ll ever pull his gaze away. He doesn’t, even though he’s bright red, swallowing thickly and looking like he can barely breathe.

Okay. So looks like it wasn’t just a fluke, or that it only worked on Dave; who would no doubt be very bias towards Karkat’s advances.

If he could affect Eridan—a guy he’s hardly known an _hour_ , who used to sneer down at Karkat like he’d rolled around in cowshit—without even _touching_ him, only using his words…

Then he had this in the _fucking bag_.

Karkat grins. “Thanks,” Karkat says, “That’s all I needed to know.”

  
  


  
Eridan’s gaze finally snaps away, his mouth staying shut, and Feferi laughs softly.

“It certainly sounds like you’ll have this in the bag, Karkat.” She says, her fingers slowly sliding up and down the back of Eridan’s neck. “I know I’ve only met you today, but I have confidence that you’ll be a good dom and be exactly what Dave needs.”

She gives him a pleased grin. “You should probably go see your friend, but text me when you know what your schedule is looking like- we’ll hit up the town this week and I’ll show you all the best spots.”

  
  


  
“I will,” Karkat says, getting to his feet.

He _really_ should be getting to Jade’s, he feels bad that he’s already kept her waiting this long. Eridan and Feferi get up too and walk Karkat to the door. Karkat pulls on the straps of his backpack and grabs his suitcase handle as Feferi opens the door for him.

Feferi comes in for another crushing hug, excitedly babbling away about all the fun they would have this week and how great it was to finally meet, all while Karkat struggles for air and tries to hold her as little as possible, feeling Eridan’s piercing gaze in the back of his head.

While he’s still bumming their wifi, Karkat pulls up Jade’s Pesterchum window and shoots her a quick message to let her know he’s on his way. Then he opens the Uber app and puts in the address for Jade’s dorm.

Once the car pulls up, Karkat is off. Feferi is waving enthusiastically and beaming. Eridan is already slipping back inside. Karkat gets into the Uber and the car takes off, and he settles in for what will probably be another hour or more of LA traffic before he gets to the Caltech dorm buildings.

The Uber that picked him up is equally as nice as the previous one, but this driver is even more attentive. He offers Karkat a bottle of water which he gladly accepts and—holy shit, is that a cooler in the front seat? The driver hands him an ice-cold bottle of water when they stop at a red light. Then he asks Karkat if he wants the windows down or the air conditioning turned up. Karkat says crank the AC—the LA heat is fucking _sweltering_.

Then the Uber driver asks if Karkat needs the wifi password, after Karkat just stares out the window for a few minutes. Karkat didn’t even know cars could _have_ their own wifi. But he says yes, and then he’s got connection again. He really should have got some kind of roaming package thing before he left, but not much he can do about it now.

Jade simply responded to his message with a couple of emojis, so Karkat closes the window.

  
  


  
Looks like there’s no new messages from Dave, either. Karkat figures he should message soon, but decides to close the window and open the Notes app.

He’d been coming up with some lyrics while staring out the window and wanted to get them down before he forgot.

It’s not much of anything yet, just a couple of phrases to work with. A potential title, perhaps. He’ll work it out more when he gets to Jade’s; she was the musical mastermind, after all.

Karkat reopens Pesterchum and Dave’s chat window. Time for his first check-in.

  
  


CG: ON MY WAY TO JADE’S NOW.   
CG: HOW WAS YOUR SHOWER?   
TG: really cold and hard   
TG: pun intended   
TG: seriously babe this is going to be fucking torture and i really need to not think about this or im going to get hard   
TG: again   
TG: spent thirty fucking minutes with my hands on the wall just fucking breathing   
TG: at least with cold water you dont exactly run out   
TG: least not here   
TG: took everything i had not to just jerk off anyway under the cold water   
TG: hope youre proud of me im going to have to ice my dick so much this week   
CG: I’M **VERY** PROUD OF YOU.   
CG: THAT WASN’T SO BAD, WAS IT?   
CG: I’M SURE YOU WON’T HAVE ANY TROUBLE WAITING FOR ME TO GET BACK. AND I’LL BE SURE TO REWARD YOU FOR BEING SO GOOD FOR ME.

It was _mean_. Nothing got Dave going more than getting told he was _good_.

It takes a great deal of effort to keep his face neutral as he looks at his phone, not wanting the Uber driver to see him smirking like a dumbass in the rear view mirror.

TG: fdnk   
TG: I

A beat. All the way back in Chicago, Dave has his forehead pressed to his desk, crossing his legs and squeezing hard to try and stop his dick from getting hard.

TG: it wasnt so bad   
TG: i guess   
TG: got this shit on lockdown   
TG: you know me   
TG: master of being good

Okay, Karkat can’t help it. A grin cracks across his face when Dave fucking keyboard smashes and doesn’t respond for a full minute. Karkat shuffles in his seat, wiping his hand across his mouth to cover his smile. Takes a deep breath to collect himself, and continues.

CG: GLAD TO HEAR IT, BABY.   
CG: DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH YOURSELF ONCE IN THE SHOWER, HUH?   
CG: IMPRESSIVE.   
CG: EVERY TIME I SHOWER NOW, I THINK ABOUT THAT FIRST DAY BACK TOGETHER, WHEN YOU SUCKED MY COCK UNDER THE SHOWER SPRAY. TAKING IT ALL THE WAY IN LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP.   
CG: GOD, YOU LOOKED SO FUCKING HOT. ALWAYS LOOK SO DELICIOUS WHEN YOU’VE GOT YOUR MOUTH FULL OF ME.   
CG: WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT WHILE YOU WERE IN THE SHOWER, BABY? OR DID YOU JUST BREATHE AND FOCUS ON TRYING NOT TO CUM ALL OVER THE SHOWER TILES WITHOUT EVEN TOUCHING YOURSELF?   
TG: you are being so fucking unfair right now holy shit   
TG: karkat you are going to kill me i am going to have to ice my dick right fucking now because i just took a shower i cant take another   
TG: you want to fucking know what i thought about   
TG: you   
TG: you damn bastard it was you   
TG: telling me not to touch myself as i braced my hands against the wall   
TG: running your fingers down my spine   
TG: pressing kisses to my back   
TG: making me stand there and just listen as you slowly jerked off   
TG: not allowed to fucking touch or even look   
TG: until you pressed your dick between my legs and came   
TG: telling me how fucking good i was for not moving   
TG: and making me stay there until i was soft again   
TG: does that make you happy to hear   
TG: this ice is so fucking cold on my dick you better be happy

The beast is purring so loud now that Karkat is convinced if he opened his mouth that the sound would leave his own throat. He clamps his lips together tightly and crosses one leg over the other.

Dammit, why did he decide having this conversation while riding in the back of an Uber was a good idea? Should he tell Dave how much all of this is driving him crazy? Would that kill the illusion? Or intensify it?

He needed to do _something_ to get Dave more desperate. Dave was still grumbling about how unfair Karkat was being, calling him a bastard, telling him he _better_ be happy—

Yeah, it was hot as shit. But not the state Karkat wanted Dave in. Not now.

He wanted him to _beg_.

  
  


CG: THAT SOUNDS REAL FUCKING GOOD, BABY.   
CG: GIVING ME LOTS OF IDEAS FOR THE NEXT TIME WE TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER.   
CG: BUT I WISH YOU WERE A LITTLE NICER IN THE DELIVERY.   
CG: STILL GOT THAT ICE ON YOUR COCK?   
CG: GET RID OF IT.   
CG: I WANT TO SEE IF YOU CAN KEEP YOURSELF FROM GETTING HARD FROM WHAT I TELL YOU NEXT.   
CG: GOT RID OF THE ICE?   
CG: GOOD. BECAUSE NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT HOW WHEN I’VE GOT YOU IN THE SHOWER, YOUR HANDS BRACED ON THE WALL, YOUR BACK TO ME   
CG: INSTEAD OF JUST JERKING OFF BEHIND YOU, I’LL FUCK MYSELF BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS. YOU’LL BE ABLE TO FEEL EVERY THRUST, FEEL HOW FUCKING HARD MY COCK IS FOR YOU   
CG: ALL WHILE I USE YOU TO GET MY OWN RELEASE, FUCKING YOUR THIGHS WHILE YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME OR YOURSELF, AND YOU WANT TO CUM SO FUCKING BADLY, I CAN FEEL HOW MUCH YOUR LEGS ARE SHIVERING AGAINST MY COCK.   
CG: BUT I TELL YOU **NOT YET.**   
CG: NOT UNTIL I’VE HAD MY FILL. I’M NOT DONE USING YOU YET. JUST STAY STILL AND KEEP MAKING ALL THOSE PRETTY SOUNDS FOR ME.   
CG: ARE YOU MAKING THEM RIGHT NOW, BABY? ARE YOU BITING DOWN ON YOUR FIST WHILE YOU TRY NOT TO MOAN JUST READING MY WORDS?   
CG: WHEN YOU PRESS YOUR THIGHS TOGETHER TO KEEP FROM GETTING HARD, DOES IT JUST MAKE IT WORSE? LIKE YOU COULD ALMOST FEEL MY COCK SLIDING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS?   
TG: karkat please   
TG: youre torturig me   
TG: fucking killing me   
TG: oh my god   
TG: you tell me this fucking shit and expect me not to get hard   
TG: its the first fucking day baby i cant handle this   
TG: hhnnnnng   
TG: fuck i want it   
TG: i want you here with me   
TG: touching me   
TG: fucking teasing me   
TG: making me tremble   
TG: this is so fucking unfair   
TG: youre so far away i cant even look at you   
TG: i cant feel you   
TG: i want you so bad baby i want you here   
TG: hhhng   
TG: i want everything you saying i just want you here to tease me   
TG: i just want to fucking feel you   
CG: TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW, BABY.   
CG: FUCK I WISH I WASN’T IN THE BACK OF A FUCKING UBER RIGHT NOW   
CG: WANT TO CALL YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE, HOW FUCKING DESPERATE YOU SOUND   
CG: TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE DOING BABY, TELL ME ALL THE THINGS YOU WISH I WAS THERE DOING RIGHT FUCKING NOW.   
TG: hhhng   
TG: im lying on my back on my bed   
TG: im just in my boxers cause i showered   
TG: im so fucking hard karkat   
TG: im so goddamn hard but im not touching myself   
TG: god it fucking throbs karkat i want you here   
TG: i want you kneeling over me   
TG: want you touching my face and mouth   
TG: just running your hands over me   
TG: so light and gentle making my fucking skin prickle   
TG: just want to have you here baby   
TG: just want to see your face   
TG: just want to feel your fucking touch   
TG: dont care where baby i just want you here touching me and making me squirm making me moan   
TG: doing whatever you want   
TG: hhhhhhng fuck baby   
TG: i cant fucking take this im already going to lose it   
CG: GOD, FUCK.   
CG: THAT’S SO GOOD BABY. YOU’RE DOING SO GOOD.   
CG: CHRIST I WISH I WAS THERE, TOO, SO I COULD REWARD YOU PROPERLY FOR BEING SO FUCKING GOOD FOR ME.   
CG: I WOULD KISS YOU ALL OVER, NICE AND FUCKING SLOW, PRESSING SOFT, HOT KISSES ALL OVER YOUR GORGEOUS BODY.   
CG: WOULDN’T EVEN USE MY TEETH. NOT YET. JUST WANT YOU TO ENJOY THIS SOFT TOUCH FIRST, LET IT WARM YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT.   
CG: RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH YOUR HAIR AND TELL YOU HOW GOOD YOU’RE DOING, STAYING STILL UNDER ME WHILE YOU JUST LET ME WORSHIP YOU.   
CG: GOD YOU’RE SO PERFECT, DAVE.   
CG: BET YOU LOOK SO FUCKING HOT, SPRAWLED OUT ON THE SHEETS, DESPERATE TO BE TOUCHED.   
CG: I WOULD PALM YOUR HARD COCK THROUGH YOUR BOXERS BEFORE PULLING THEM OFF WITH MY TEETH.   
CG: TAKING MY SWEET TIME PULLING THEM ALL THE WAY DOWN YOUR LEGS.   
CG: BITE MY WAY BACK UP THE INSIDE OF YOUR THIGHS.   
CG: AND THEN I JUST KEEP MY FACE RIGHT BY YOUR COCK, SO FUCKING HARD AND PULSING AND READY FOR ME, AND JUST BREATHE ON IT TO WATCH IT TWITCH. FEEL YOU TREMBLE UNDERNEATH ME.   
CG: NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ASK FOR IT.   
CG: **NICELY**   
TG: karkat   
TG: please   
TG: i wanna jerk off so bad   
TG: please please please lemme jerk off   
TG: i cant do this i cant take it   
TG: i want you so bad it hurts   
TG: i can feel your teeth on my thighs i can feel your fucking breath on me   
TG: i need to hear you   
TG: i need you so bad its unfair   
TG: karkat please   
TG: please   
TG: im begging you baby im on my fucking knees except its actually my back because i literally cannot move mmy legs or ill touch myself   
TG: please   
TG: let me jerk off or let me ice   
TG: its too fucking much

_Make me feel it. Make me beg._

Karkat lets out a long, steadying breath. Crossing his legs even tighter, fighting off his own erection. The only thing holding it back is the fact he’s not alone.

This is what he wanted. Dave is _begging_ now, saying _please_ over and over as he pleads with Karkat for permission to touch himself.

Karkat lets it hang in the air for a moment longer, before he finally types out a response.

CG: NO.

_And then be denied._

CG: NOT YET.

_Until I’vve lasted as long as they wwant me to._

  
  


  
There’s a long, long, long pause.

Then, the only thing that Dave sends is a single audio file.

  
  


  
Karkat practically _lunges_ for his backpack, ripping open the zipper and digging around for his earbuds.

His hands are shaking so bad by this point he misses the audio jack on his phone several times before finally plugging them in.

His heart is beating the shit out of his ribs. He feels so breathless it’s like he just got kicked in the diaphragm by a horse.

Karkat puts the earbuds in his ears. Checks his phone’s volume. Should he crank it up to full blast? What if the driver can hear it? These cheap little shits don’t exactly have the best sound absorption.

Karkat clicks his volume button up to 50%. Thinks on it for a moment. Bumps it up to 60%.

He reopens Pesterchum, and clicks on the audio file. Then hits play.

  
  


  
“Fuck.” It’s breathy, soft, and there’s the sound of shifting on a bed. “I’m not touching myself, Karkat, don’t worry.” Dave’s voice is strained, desperate. “I’m not-” a faint, wet noise from Dave swallowing. “I just- I can’t keep typing, baby, can’t keep having my hands free.”

More shifting on the bed, then there’s a low, desperate moan from Dave.

“Hah… fuck, I’ve got a belt, baby, got my wrists tangled in it, keeping my hands up at the headboard- I wanna touch so bad but I can’t- you haven’t told me I can- fu- uuu _ck_ \- I wanna _touch_ , baby-”

Dave voice breaks as more shifting sounds are audible. “This is fucking _torture_ , I can’t _take_ this-” He gasps. “I wanna touch, I _wanna touch_ , baby, I want you so bad, I want-”

A tiny, trembling noise, desperate and soft and _high_.

“Wanna hear your voice, baby-” Dave’s voice is shaky, the sound of his heels sliding on the bed. “W…wanna… hhah- hhhhhhh-” His words break apart.

" _Please_ , Karkat." Dave begs. He sounds fucking _desperate_ . There’s a faint jingle of a belt buckle, skin on fabric, Dave tugging at his bound wrists. "You either gotta stop teasing me or- or let me fucking touch myselff _fffnnnnnnnnnnnnh-_ " He breaks off into a long, trembling moan, “-because I- I can’t take- I can’t keep doing this I’ll break, I’ll _break_ Karkat, I wanna be _good_ -”

He gasps and whines helplessly, keening and fumbling and aching and there’s a handful of seconds of just ragged, desperate panting before there’s there’s a desperate, broken, " _please-_ " and fumbling and the recording ends.

  
  


  
Fuck.

 _Fuck_.

Holy _fucking_ **fuck**.

Karkat bites down on the inside of his own cheek so hard he tastes copper as he bites back a groan.

He’s half-hard now, how could he fucking _not_ be, with Dave’s voice and his breath and his _moans_ right in Karkat’s ear. Why did he start this shit in the FUCKING Uber to Jade’s what was _wrong_ with him—he should have waited until tonight, let Dave edge himself on his own all day before he pulled this shit. This could have waited, this could have _fucking waited_ —

Karkat bumps the back of his head off on the back of his seat, squeezing his eyes shut.

Dave’s crooning, desperate _please_ still plays over and over in his head, until Karkat feels dizzy.

Dave _bound his own hands_ so he wouldn’t touch himself.

Dave hasn’t had a belt around his wrists since the first day they got back together.

And now Dave is laying in bed, hands bound, desperate to touch but he _won’t_ —forcing himself not to because Karkat said _not yet_ , he won’t do anything until Karkat _tells him to_.

The beast is _panting_ with a feral desire now. Dripping from the mouth, eyes ablaze.

If Karkat didn’t do something, and _soon_ , Dave was going to _shatter_.

“I’ll get out here.” Karkat blurts out.

He sees the driver’s eyes shoot up to look at him in the rear view mirror.

“Your stop isn’t for—“

“I—gotta—“ Karkat searches for a good excuse, but there really isn’t a single fucking one coming to mind right now, “There’s something else I have to do first. Sorry.”

“No worries, man, I’ll just, uhh…let you off in this parking lot coming up, that cool?”

“Yeah, yep. Thanks.”

The Uber pulls into an Applebee’s parking lot, and Karkat quickly grabs all his bags and gets out, thanking the driver and mumbling another apology under his breath.

Fuck. _Fuck_.

He’s standing in the middle of an Applebee’s parking lot with his luggage, somewhere in the middle of California, and it feels like it’s a million fucking degrees outside.

He looks over at the Applebee’s. Squints through the haze. There’s a piece of paper on the door that reads in big block letters **CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS**.

The parking lot is completely empty. There’s no cars, no people. There’s the rush of traffic from the street. Karkat walks closer to the building, away from the street noise. It’s a little bit quieter over here.

He yanks his phone out of his pocket, and brings up Dave’s number, and hits the call button.

  
  


  
Dave picks up on the second ring and his panting is audible through the phone. " _Karkat_ oh god, please-" he immediately launches into a babble, “pleasepl-ease pleas-e I- nnnnnnhnhn- please I can’t, I _can’t_ -”

He breaks off into a hitching moan, wet and desperate and _needy_. There’s the rustling of heels sliding against sheets as he moans and arches and whines, reduced to helpless, wordless noises.

  
  


  
Karkat’s eyes slide closed the moment he hears Dave’s voice, his bones turning to slush. He opens his eyes as Dave goes into a desperate babble, leaving his suitcase and backpack by the front door of the empty Applebee’s as he walks around to the side of the building, and begins to speak.

“Shhh, shhh, baby, _baby_ , it’s alright, it’s alright,” Karkat whispers into the phone. “I’m here, baby, I’m here…”

He gets to the back of the building and it’s even more quiet back here, the whizzing of the cars on the street far away. He can hear Dave’s shaky breaths and wet moans through the receiver with perfect clarity. He closes his eyes again and leans against the brick wall, grateful to be in the shade because his entire body is _burning_ and none of it is from the humidity.

“You’re fucking _incredible_ , D, you know that?” Karkat says breathlessly, “Never cease to amaze me.”

Karkat turns toward the wall, bracing himself against it with one arm while he keeps the phone pressed to his ear.

“I’m right there with you, baby,” Karkat gasps out, “touch yourself, close your eyes and pretend it’s me, I’m right there with you, come on, sweetheart, _cum for me_ —“

  
  


  
Dave whines softly at the reassurances, panting raggedly and low, swallowing thickly, wetly, the jangling of the belt buckle audible with every tug that Dave attempts.

He whimpers softly at the praise, but Karkat tells him to _cum_ and then a shocked, desperate keen tears from Dave.

"Ooohh- ohh, ohh- Karka _aat-_ " Daves voice devolves into his, wordless _moans_ , shuddery and achingly desperate, "gonna- gon- Kar _kat-_ "

Dave keens, sharp and desperate as he cums. He sobs and sobs and theres jingling of metal as he tugs at his wrists, a faint creaking of the bed audible.

Then it all goes soft and quiet except for the heavy, rough panting as Dave tries to catch his breath.

  
  


  
Karkat can only listen to Dave’s heavy breathing, his forehead pressed into his arm as he leans against the wall of the building, his eyes wide, mouth hanging open.

Dave just came _untouched_.

Just to the _sound of Karkat’s voice_.

Karkat’s hard as stone in his jeans now, and has to bite down on his arm to hold back a long, keening groan.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Karkat moans, “Jesus. Fuck, you’re amazing. God, Dave, you’re so fucking incredible…”

His cock is _aching_ , straining against the inside of his zipper so much that it’s painful. Karkat takes a few deep, _deep_ breaths, trying desperately to steady himself.

He’s gotta stay focused. This was about Dave right now. Had to reassure him, praise him…but it’s hard to think, all the blood in his brain has plummeted down to his dick.

“You did _so good_ , baby,” Karkat whispers, “So fucking good, better than I could have even imagined. Didn’t even _tell_ you to restrain yourself and you— _god_ —have no fucking _idea_ what you’re doing to me right now, D.”

Karkat rolls to lean his back up against the wall again and slides down to a crouch. The pressure on his cock from this angle is _torture_ , but he hopes the pressure will help to work his erection down. There’s no _way_ he can jerk off now, at the _back of a fucking Applebee’s_ , no matter how horny he is, no matter how crazy Dave is making him, he _can’t_ —

Just keep talking. He had to keep talking to Dave. Communicate. Get his mind off it.

“Are you able to get yourself out of the belt, baby?” Karkat asks softly, closing his eyes again. “Didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

  
  


  
“H-hah-” Dave’s panting is rough, a weak edge to his noises. “N-no, I’m okay.” He croaks. “Just- just buckled the belt and shoved my- my hands into it- I slip right out if I’m not grabbing it.”

He swallows wetly, his voice getting slightly louder. “I’m okay-” he murmurs, sounding faint. “Didn’t hurt myself.”

There’s a rustle and the Dave’s voice comes through clearer- not on speakerphone anymore. “Didn’t think that would happen.” He mumbles, sounding floaty.

  
  


  
Karkat chuckles softly at the sound of Dave’s blissed out, breathy voice.

God, if he hadn’t already wished he was home, _this_ is fucking doing him in. He wants to be with Dave right now so much that it aches in his bones.

“Me either,” Karkat says softly, “I had to get my Uber to drop me off so I could call you. You were begging so desperately to hear my voice…”

Karkat bumps the back of his head lightly on the brick. “You are _very_ hard to say no to.”

His cock is, somehow, miraculously, starting to take the hint. His erection is receding slowly but surely, so Karkat pushes himself to standing with a soft grunt, and walks back around to the front of the building to make sure nobody stole his fucking luggage.

“You know what this means, though, don’t you?” Karkat says with a smirk as he shoulders his backpack. “You haven’t broken the rule yet. Yeah, you came, but you _didn’t touch yourself._ ”

Karkat lets that hang in the air for a moment, still smirking.

“So, if you think you can _handle it_ ,” Karkat purrs, “Let’s see how long you can go without touching yourself. Now that I know neither of us even need to _touch_ you for you to cum…well, you already had my attention. Now you’ve also got my _curiosity_. I wanna see how long you can edge yourself until I give you _permission_ to cum. I think that seems like a pretty fair trade, right? You still get to cum, but I get to tell you _when_ , and I don’t have to be jealous of your hands. How’s all that sound, baby?”

  
  


  
Dave gasps softly as Karkat tells he he didn’t break the rule. It’s a tiny, shocked little noise, followed by a shuddering, exhaling moan. Soft and happy.

He swallows thickly though, at what Karkat’s proposing. “Fuck- I-” he sounds hesitant, chewing on his lip.

“I don’t know if I can do this again.” Dave whispers, a tiny note of unease sliding into his voice. “I dunno- I wanna try, wanna do it for you, but- I dunno if I can cum like that again.”

  
  


  
The sly smirk melts into a soft, warm smile at the noises coming through the phone.

Karkat watches the cars whizzing by on the street. “That’s okay, babe.” Karkat says, sweet as sugar.

The sneer slips back onto his mouth.

“That just means you’ll be more desperate,” he murmurs, “If you can’t cum untouched again, if you _have_ to touch yourself…well, you’ll just have to make sure you’re _good_ and wait patiently for me to give you _permission_ , right?”

Karkat’s sneer splits into a wide grin at Dave’s ragged breath going right into his ear. He can almost imagine his hot breath, pretending the heat from his phone and the LA sun is actually from Dave’s mouth, pressed right against his ear.

“You only break the rule if you touch yourself before I’ve told you that you can,” Karkat explains, slow and gentle, “And you’re so fucking _good_ , that even when I _did_ tell you that you could touch yourself, that you could cum, you _still didn’t_. I thought you’d pull yourself free and pump yourself until you came, but you came _untouched_ , baby. You weren’t just _good_ for me, you were fucking _perfect_.”

Jesus. All this dom-talk is really revving him up. His erection is sparking back up, almost curiously at the heady tone in his voice. He closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. No, no. _Easy_ , boy. He did not want to be sporting a fucking half-chub for the walk to Jade’s.

“Good behaviour like _that_ deserves a reward,” Karkat says pleasantly, “I wish I was there to reward you _properly_ , baby…but, hmm,” Karkat trails off into a hum, thinking on it for a moment.

“Ask for anything you want, baby, and it’s yours.” Karkat whispers.

_Be selfish for me, baby. Be greedy. Come on, I’d never deny you anything._

  
  


  
Dave gasps and _whines_ softly as Karkat tells him he’ll need to be good. “Y-yeah-” He breathes, shaky and stuttering, “I’ll- I’ll be good-” he mumbles, almost more to himself than to Karkat.

He moans soft little gasps through Karkat’s explanation, telling him how good he did, how perfect he was- but then gives a shuddering little whine as Karkat tells him to ask for something.

“I… I don’t-” He breaks off and there’s a pause. Then, tiny, soft, like he’s _ashamed_ of it-

" _Keep… keep telling me I’m good?_ "

  
  


  
Karkat _grins_.

“Of _course_ , baby,” Karkat croons, “Proud of you, babe, asking for what you want, listening to me, so _good_ …”

He pauses, listening for the sounds Dave makes every time Karkat calls him _good_ , smile still pulling at his lips.

“That ones almost _too_ easy, baby. You’re always so good for me, of course I’m gonna keep telling you.” Karkat presses his lips together for a moment, considering his next move, and decides to try and coax Dave a little further. “You’re doing so good, baby, telling me what you like, what you want from me. Is there anything _else_ you want? You can tell me anything, baby. As cute as it is when you are, there’s no need to be _shy_.”

  
  


  
Dave makes a soft little noise, low in his throat, every time that Karkat calls him good, calls him a little pet name, praises him. It’s like just the words themselves sink right into his brain and pull the noises from him, making him feel good, making him feel cherished and soft.

"Anything- _else?_ " Dave breathes. “I…”

A shuddering exhale.

“Can- canIwearoneofyoursweaters?” The words rush out in a breath. “I just- wanna feel close to you-”

  
  


  
Karkat crouches down again.

And this time it’s not to hold back a hard-on, but just because…his knees fucking gave out and he almost fell over.

The weight of his backpack makes him teeter so Karkat just plops right down onto the warm pavement, staring off at nothing. Wipes his hand over his mouth in disbelief.

He thought he might be pushing his luck, that Dave wouldn’t know how to ask for anything else. Dave never even asked for _nudes_ , for crying out loud. If anything, Karkat expected that to be Dave’s response now, and yet…

He really was full of surprises.

Karkat chuckles, soft and affectionate, hoping it doesn’t seem like he’s teasing Dave. He’s really, _really_ not. The request is so… _innocent_. It’s fucking adorable.

Come to think of it, Dave never stole Karkat’s clothes. It was Karkat that was always pushing his clothes onto Dave whenever Dave needed an extra layer during a cold winter day in Chicago, or was low on decent clothes because he pushed laundry day to the absolute last minute. Which left him with nothing but a few clean pairs of boxers to freeze to death in until Karkat shoved a sweater and some PJ pants into his arms.

Karkat found himself looking forward to laundry day, just to see that look of pleased surprise that never failed to come to Dave’s face whenever Karkat dumped his clothes in his lap.

“Sure,” Karkat says softly, “I obviously didn’t pack any, so you’ve got the whole…what’s that word you always use… _smorgasbord_ of the Karkat Sweater Collection to choose from. So wear as many as you want.”

  
  


  
“Okay.” Dave whispers. “Thank you.” He lets out a soft little tired noise.

“I’m gonna go over later.” He mumbles, sounding tired, and there’s the sound of shifting fabric, skin sliding over sheets. “Just wanna smell you again. 'M missing you already, daddy.”

There’s a tiny little horrified, choked noise and then a scrabbling and then the call ends. A message pops up not even a moment later.

  
  


TG: sorry

  
  


Karkat blinks rapidly as the call abruptly ends, and he has to look at his phone screen to confirm that yep, Dave hung up.

It takes him a moment after that to process the fact that _yep_ , Dave just called him _daddy_.

Karkat goes into his phone settings and throws on his data. He can spare a few fucking gigabytes. The next moment after that, Karkat’s Pesterchum goes off with a new message from Dave and Karkat’s heart jolts.

“Oh, shit.” Karkat whispers.

  
  


CG: NOTHING TO BE SORRY ABOUT.

  
  


Karkat bites his lip, his heart starting to pound. Shit, shit. Shit shit shit.

If Dave was about to shut down right now, Karkat had nobody to blame but his own fucking stupid, impatient, too-horny-to-function self.

He should have listened to Feferi. This should have waited until they’d had a chance to sit down and talk through all of this. Karkat’s thumbs quickly flit over the keys as he continues to type.

  
  


CG: TELL YOU WHAT, BABY.   
CG: I THINK I FORGOT TO PACK MY BODY SPRAY. PRETTY SURE I LEFT IT ON TOP OF MY DRESSER.   
CG: YOU CAN SPRAY THAT ON MY CLOTHES WHEN YOU’RE WEARING THEM AND THEN THEY’LL SMELL EVEN MORE LIKE ME.   
TG: okay   
TG: that sounds good   
TG: ill go over later and get a sweater   
TG: thanks   
TG: for indulging me i mean   
TG: um   
TG: yeah

  
  


There’s a pause.

  
  


TG: i love you

  
  


  
Karkat’s heart is pounding so much it feels like it could climb up his throat and he could vomit it out onto the parking lot.

His stomach twists with anxiety as he reads over Dave’s short, practically stoic responses. The twisting eases the tiniest bit when Dave says he loves him—but it feels too much like backpedaling for Karkat to truly take comfort in it.

He wants to call him back. Fuck waiting until he gets back to Chicago, he should call Dave back _right now_ and talk to him.

But he’d already fucked it up, hadn’t he? Feferi told him to _wait_ , and he didn’t. And now Dave was shutting down and Karkat didn’t know what to do to stop it.

Even if Karkat called him right now, Dave probably wasn’t in the right headspace to talk everything out. And that was on Karkat, too, for putting him there in the first place.

Karkat digs the edge of his phone into his forehead with both hands, growling in frustration at his own stupidity.

He pulls his phone away, staring down at Dave’s candy-red text with furrowed brows and his mouth pulled into a tight line.

He sighs deeply, and types.

  
  


CG: I WASN’T JUST INDULGING YOU.

  
  


He pauses, looking down at his grey block letters. He wants to say so much more than that, but he’s worried Dave isn’t ready to hear it. Karkat keeps it simple.

CG: I LOVE YOU TOO.   
TG: what do you mean   
CG: I MEAN, I WASN’T JUST INDULGING YOU.   
CG: I WANTED IT, TOO.

  
  


Karkat quickly trades his phone into each hand so he can wipe the sweat building on his palms onto his jeans.

  
  


CG: SORRY.   
CG: I SHOULDN’T HAVE JUST SPRUNG IT ON YOU OUT OF NOWHERE.   
CG: WE’VE OBVIOUSLY SEXTED BEFORE BUT NOT   
CG: NOT LIKE THAT.   
CG: IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS I WAS TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, AND I SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT BEFORE JUST DOING IT OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE A GRADE-A DOUCHE.   
CG: WELL, NOT DIFFERENT.   
CG: JUST

  
  


Karkat blows out a big puff of air once he realizes he’s been holding his breath this whole time.

Feferi’s words come to mind as he stares at the messages he’s already sent.

_It’s easier to say things that you might otherwise find embarrassing over text, no?_

  
  


CG: I READ YOUR LETTER.

The replies come like water breaking free of a dam.

  
  


TG: oh   
TG: um   
TG: i mean i guess i kinda expected that since like   
TG: i basically gave fef permission to tell you anything you wanted to know   
TG: shit i barely remember half of the stuff in there but im pretty sure there was some embarrassing shit   
TG: like emotional equivalent of full frontal dick out parents covering childrens eyes police called on their way   
TG: look at this emotion exposing flasher just standing in the streets how indecent   
TG: better come put him in cuffs and take him away   
TG: the embarrassment is too much to bear   
TG: bare   
TG: bear   
TG: no its bare   
TG: the embarrassment is too much to bare   
TG: no wait it is bear i was right the first time   
TG: man etymology of words is hard right   
TG: fuck the english language   
TG: gonna have words that sound the exact fucking same   
TG: but mean different things   
TG: who thought that was a good idea   
TG: which one is the right one   
TG: who knows   
TG: like a motherfucking grab bag of bullshit vowels and stolen consonants   
TG: you ever think about how the english language is a stupid thief of a language that takes words from other languages and then cant even keep things consistent   
TG: whats up with that   
TG: who decided that was a good idea   
TG: i mean colonizers probably haha   
TG: fuck white people am i right always ruining everything   
TG: yeah im white yeah im crackerphobic we exist   
TG: sure we love cheese but like   
TG: we also made the travesty that is the english language   
TG: so our crimes will never be forgiven   
CG: I’M SORRY.   
CG: WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT SOONER.   
CG: AND I REALLY WISH WE WEREN’T TALKING ABOUT IT WHILE I’M STANDING IN A FUCKING ABANDONED APPLEBEE’S PARKING LOT IN THE MIDDLE OF CALIFORNIA, IT IS HOT AS SHIT OUT HERE IT FEELS LIKE I’M CURLING UP INSIDE SATAN’S ASSHOLE, IT IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.   
CG: I WANT TO BE BACK HOME IN BED WITH YOU, TALKING ABOUT WHAT I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SUCH A FUCKING COWARD ABOUT AND TALKED ABOUT MONTHS AGO.   
CG: DAVE

  
  


Even now, he hesitates. But Dave is sending him his usual long messages again (and yeah that’s probably just out of embarrassment but still). Maybe he is ready to hear this after all.

Maybe he’s been ready for a really long time. Maybe he never stopped, and it was Karkat that had to be ready.

  
  


CG: I WANT TO TRY AGAIN.

A beat.

  
  


TG: okay youve lost me   
TG: uh   
TG: talked about what and try what again

Karkat huffs, and it makes his bangs flutter.

Either Dave literally forgot what he said in that letter, or he’s dodging. Karkat scrubs at his face with a groan.

God, he was really just going to have to come right out with it, wasn’t he?

  
  


CG: I WANT TO BE YOUR DOM, DAVE.   
CG: UH   
CG: AND YOUR SUB, SOMETIMES. I GUESS.   
CG: BECAUSE I THINK WE’RE BOTH UHH   
CG: SWITCHES? I THINK THAT’S THE WORD FOR IT.   
CG: SO I GUESS I JUST WANT TO DO SUB/DOM STUFF WITH YOU   
CG: WHICHEVER ONE WORKS FOR YOU   
CG: BUT AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT IN TIME I AM FEELING   
CG: DOMMISH(???)   
CG: QUITE, UH, EXCEPTIONALLY SO.   
CG: LIKE, IT GOES BEYOND JUST LIKE, WANTING TO TAKE TURNS TOPPING. LIKE BEFORE. LIKE WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOING, UP UNTIL NOW.   
CG: THERE’S DAYS WHERE I GUESS I FEEL   
CG: SUBBY(???)   
CG: AND MAYBE THAT’S WHY I WISH YOU’D ASK FOR MORE FROM ME. I MEAN, YOU ALREADY HAVE ME, ALL OF ME, BUT   
CG: I WANT TO GIVE YOU EVEN MORE.   
CG: MAYBE THAT’S WHAT I MEAN WHEN I TELL YOU TO BE GREEDY.   
CG: BUT THEN OTHER TIMES YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE AND IRRESISTIBLE I JUST WANT TO   
CG: GOD MAYBE THIS SOUNDS WEIRD BUT FUCK IT   
CG: I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME BEING WEIRDLY JEALOUS AND/OR OVERPROTECTIVE OR WHATEVER BUT   
CG: IT’S JUST THIS CONSTANT FEELING, AND SOME DAYS IT’S STRONGER THAN OTHERS I GUESS BUT   
CG: WELL   
CG: I JUST WANT TO HIDE YOU AWAY AND NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE SEE OR TOUCH YOU OR HEAR YOU   
CG: LITERALLY HAVE YOU ALL TO MYSELF IN EVERY SENSE OF THE PHRASE.   
CG: THERE WERE DAYS YOU’D GO OUT DRINKING WITH ROXY AFTER WORK AND I WOULD JUST   
CG: GET CONSUMED WITH THESE THOUGHTS ABOUT WHO WAS THERE AT THAT BAR OR WHATEVER, WHO’S LOOKING AT YOU, IF ANYONE IS TALKING TO YOU   
CG: AND EVEN THE IDEA OF ROXY TALKING AND TOUCHING YOU PUT MY TEETH ON EDGE   
CG: AND I KNOW IT SOUNDS CREEPY AND POSSESSIVE BUT I HAVE LITERALLY HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM GOING AND DRAGGING YOUR ASS OUT OF WHEREVER IT IS YOU ARE   
CG: AND JUST FUCKING   
CG: TYING YOU TO THE BED AND FUCKING YOUR BRAINS OUT UNTIL ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS ME   
CG: ALL YOU CAN SAY IS MY NAME   
CG: ALL YOU KNOW IS THAT YOU’RE MINE   
TG: oh   
TG: um okay well im gonna start off by saying   
TG: thats stupid hot   
TG: like goddamn okay yeah i know i just nutted but when you say shit like that its really threatening to get me going again   
TG: and i guess i just   
TG: im surprised because like i thought   
TG: well nevermind i guess it doesnt really matter   
TG: like shit yeah full steam ahead or whatever   
TG: im hopping on this train   
CG: YOU THOUGHT WHAT?   
TG: nah its not important   
CG: DAVE.   
TG: i am totally down to get the fuck dommed out of me by you   
TG: you know how many times ive thought about you tying me down   
TG: hot shit   
CG: WELL, YEAH. I KNEW THAT. KNOW THAT. THAT’S GREAT AND ALL.   
CG: AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT ALL THE KINKY SHIT LATER.   
CG: THAT IS DEFINITELY ON THE TABLE OF DISCUSSION.   
CG: BUT ALLOW ME TO JUST   
CG: PUSH THOSE SEXY DOCUMENTS ASIDE FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS AND GET BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE THINKING?   
CG: IN THE NON-FANTASIZING SENSE.   
TG: um   
TG: i mean i guess   
TG: i dunno i thought that like   
TG: you didnt ever want to do that kind of stuff after   
TG: after i fucked up   
CG: LET ME PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES ON THIS TRAIN.   
TG: breaks pumped why are we stopping   
CG: AND JUST IMAGINE I AM GRABBING BOTH SIDES OF YOUR FACE AND LEANING IN REAL FUCKING CLOSE   
CG: YOU   
CG: DID **NOT**   
CG: FUCK UP.   
TG: what are you talking about   
CG: I FUCKED UP.   
TG: of course i did   
TG: what   
TG: no the fuck you didnt   
TG: again what the fuck are you talking about   
CG: I FUCKING DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCENE!   
TG: i feel like a broken fucking record karkat what the ever loving fuck are you talking about   
CG: I WENT INTO THE DOM VERSION OF A DROP???   
CG: AND INSTEAD OF CRYING I GOT MAD.   
TG: broken fucking record   
TG: what   
TG: the fuck   
TG: are you   
TG: talking   
TG: about   
CG: I GOT FUCKING MAD AND STARTING GIVING YOU A BUNCH OF SHIT FOR SHIT THAT WASN’T YOUR FUCKING FAULT!   
CG: AND THEN **YOU** GOT MAD   
CG: JUSTIFIABLY SO   
CG: AND THEN I WAS LIKE, OKAY WELL NOW I FEEL LIKE THE WORLD’S HUGEST ASSHOLE   
CG: AND I REALLY FUCKING HURT YOU AND IT FUCKING SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME   
CG: AND THE LAST FUCKING THING   
CG: I **EVER** WANT TO DO   
CG: IS HURT YOU   
TG: karkat now im pumping the fucking breaks   
TG: you didnt fucking hurt me   
TG: i hurt my own fucking self   
TG: by switching and fucking everything up   
TG: it was my fault   
TG: and before you say shit   
CG: THE ONLY REASON YOU SWITCHED IS BECAUSE I MADE YOU FUCKING SWITCH!   
TG: no shut the fuck up its my turn to talk   
TG: its not your fucking fault that i couldnt handle some basic ass shit   
TG: fucking switched and fucked the whole thing up   
TG: im a bad sub karkat thats all there is to it   
TG: its not your fucking fault   
CG: NO FUCK YOU I’M STILL CONDUCTING THE TRAIN.   
TG: i just cant handle shit   
TG: no fuck you   
TG: im stealing your damn conductors wand   
CG: THAT’S FOR MUSIC YOU STUPID FUCK.   
CG: WE ARE ON A TRAIN, NOT CONDUCTING A FUCKING ORCHESTRA.   
CG: FUCK YOU AND THE ETYMOLOGY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SO FUCKING MUCH.   
CG: YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE BEING THE FUCKING WORST BUT WRONG ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE.   
CG: GIVE ME THE FUCKING WAND.   
TG: not anymore   
TG: this is a goddamn symphony of bullshit   
CG: YOU BET YOUR ASS.   
TG: and i am shoving your ass off the stage   
TG: im the conductor now   
CG: YOU ARE NOT A BAD FUCKING SUB!   
CG: WHAT IN THE FUCK.   
TG: you dont have to fucking lie to make me feel better karkat   
TG: like i get it   
CG: I AM NOT FUCKING LYING YOU **DENSE** MOTHERFUCKER.   
CG: YOU ARE NOT A BAD SUB I WAS JUST A HORRIFICALLY TERRIBLE AWFUL INEXPERIENCED DOM.   
CG: FRESH OUT OF THE BDSM WOMB.   
CG: DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE EVEN TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID SHIT LIKE “SCENE” AND WHATEVER THE FUCK.   
CG: I WAS A SHITTY DOM WHO DIDN’T PUNISH YOU THE RIGHT WAY BECAUSE APPARENTLY **THAT’S** A FUCKING THING   
CG: I JUST HAVE TO BE **OKAY** WITH.  
CG: AND THE **ONLY** REASON  
CG: I EVEN DECIDED TO EVEN ATTEMPT THIS SHIT AGAIN  
CG: WAS BECAUSE I AM OVER TWO THOUSAND FUCKING MILES AWAY  
CG: AND THE ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THAT  
CG: IS THAT IT MEANS YOU’RE NOT WAITING FOR ME TO FUCKING **HURT** YOU IF YOU BREAK A FUCKING RULE.  
TG: yeah no shit its supposed to fucking hurt if you break a rule  
CG: I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BE FUCKING **SCARED** OF ME.  
CG: NO IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING H U RT!!  
CG: THAT’S JUST WHAT THAT FUCKING HACK DAMARA THINKS BEING A DOM IS.  
TG: yes the fuck it is???  
TG: christ look at this got me fucking using goddamn punctuation  
TG: its not a damara thing you idiot  
TG: you break a rule  
TG: you get punished  
TG: and punishments hurt  
CG: PUNISHMENTS DON’T NEED TO BE PAINFUL.  
TG: bullshit  
TG: then theyre not punishments  
CG: FEFERI FUCKING SAID SO!!!  
CG: IF YOU WON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT  
CG: THEN LISTEN TO HER.  
TG: sounds fake but ok  
TG: whatever  
TG: fine  
CG: AAAAAAARRRRRGHHH  
CG: NO FUCK YOU STRIDER IT’S NOT “whatever fine”.  
CG: DON’T YOU GET ALL “whatever fine” ON ME ABOUT THIS SHIT, FUCK YOU.  
CG: YOU WANT ME TO DOM YOUR ASS THEN YOU BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME.  
CG: BECAUSE WE ARE DOING THIS **RIGHT**  
CG: OR NOT AT FUCKING ALL!!!  
TG: i  
TG: okay  
TG: im listening  
TG: sorry  
CG: GOOD.  
CG: LOOK. I’LL HAVE FEFERI CALL YOU RIGHT THE FUCK NOW IF YOU REALLY DON’T BELIEVE IT, COMING FROM ME.  
CG: BUT SHE SAID IT HERSELF THAT DAMARA ISN’T A TRUE DOM  
CG: AND NEITHER WERE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN HER…NETWORK.  
CG: JUST ABUSERS WHO USED HER SUBS FOR THEIR OWN SICK AMUSEMENT.  
CG: AND FEFERI HAS BEEN WORKING WITH ERIDAN TO TRY AND WORK OUT ALL THE FUCKING POISON THEY PUT IN HIS HEAD.  
CG: AND I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DECENT FUCKING PARTNER TO YOU AND BEEN DOING THE SAME THING.  
CG: BUT INSTEAD I WAS A CHICKEN SHIT AND JUST FIGURED REGULAR THERAPY WAS ALL YOU NEEDED.  
CG: AND IT HAS HELPED, TOO, OF COURSE IT HAS  
TG: being a sub isnt exactly a form of therapy karkat  
CG: MAYBE.  
CG: BUT MAYBE ME BEING THE RIGHT KIND OF DOM FOR YOU **IS**.  
TG: wdym  
CG: MAYBE THIS ALL JUST COMES BACK TO MY WEIRD, CLINGY, POSSESSIVE SHIT BUT  
CG: I GUESS I AVOIDED THE WHOLE DOM THING, NOT JUST OUT OF FEAR OF HURTING YOU, BUT ALSO BECAUSE  
CG: I WAS WORRIED IT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK WERE BACK IN CALIFORNIA  
TG: no offense but thats the stupidest fucking thing youve ever said  
CG: AND THAT WHEN YOU LOOKED AT ME  
TG: and youve said some really fucking stupid shit  
CG: YOU SAW DAMARA  
CG: AND THAT’S THE LAST FUCKING THING I WANT  
CG: FUCK YOU, IT’S NOT STUPID.  
CG: IT’S JUST  
CG: HOW I FEEL  
TG: karkat im not fucking dumb enough to think youre anything like her  
TG: like shit i might have fucking ptsd but not fucking once did i ever look at you and go  
TG: ah yes  
TG: time to fucking flashback to someone who is nothing like karkat  
TG: like christ  
TG: i know im pathetic but im not that fucking pathetic  
CG: I NEVER SAID YOU WERE PATHETIC.  
CG: DON’T CALL YOURSELF PATHETIC.  
CG: YOU JUST  
CG: YOU SAID HER NAME WHEN YOU LOCKED YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM.  
TG: huh  
CG: AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WORSE.  
CG: DOMMING YOU AND YOU LOOK AT ME AND SEE HER.  
CG: OR ME BEING SO BAD AT IT THAT YOU WISH YOU WERE WITH HER INSTEAD.  
CG: SO I FIGURED  
CG: IF I DON’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL THEN I CAN’T FUCK UP.  
CG: AND IF I DON’T FUCK UP THEN, EITHER WAY, SHE DOESN’T CROSS YOUR MIND.  
CG: AND FOR A WHILE THAT FELT LIKE WINNING.  
CG: BUT I WANT TO HAVE YOU, ALL OF YOU, EVERY FUCKING PART  
CG: OPEN YOU RIGHT UP AND CRAWL RIGHT IN  
CG: AND WHEN I LOOK AROUND  
CG: SHE ISN’T THERE  
CG: I WANT TO SHOW YOU WHAT IT’S LIKE TO ACTUALLY BE DOMINATED  
CG: NOT MANIPULATED BY SOME MONSTER.  
CG: FOR ALL THE SUB/DOM PLAY YOU’VE DONE  
CG: THE ONLY TIME IT WAS EVER **REAL**   
CG: WAS WHEN IT WAS WITH **ME**   
CG: SO WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT  
CG: YOU’RE JUST AS GREEN IN THE FUCKING GILLS TO THIS AS I AM.  
CG: NEITHER OF US KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE DOING.  
CG: ALL I KNOW IS THAT I’M YOURS AND YOU’RE MINE.  
CG: AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU IN EVERY CAPACITY THERE IS.  
CG: AND IF YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR DOM, YOUR SUB, YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOUR FIANCÉ, YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR BEST FRIEND  
CG: I’LL BE THEM ALL  
CG: I AM JUST SWEEPING ALL THOSE DAVE-SHAPED POKER CHIPS INTO A DUFFEL BAG AND RUNNING OUT OF THE CASINO  
TG: you dont need to do that  
TG: youve already got house advantage karkat  
TG: you dont need to be a thief  
CG: SO  
CG: YOU’LL GIVE IT A TRY?  
TG: theres not really a lot of things that i want karkat  
TG: but if i had to pick a single thing  
TG: itd be you  
TG: so  
TG: yeah  
TG: you already have all of me  
TG: but ill give it to you again  
TG: ill give you everything  
TG: ill let you lead me like a fucking goddamn blind man and youre going to show me the light  
TG: except the light is you or something  
TG: i dont know where i was going to go with that  
TG: but  
TG: i know that i love you  
TG: and i know that i want to be good for you  
TG: and i know that i really just want to hold you right now  
TG: but youre so fucking far away that i cant  
TG: karkat  
TG: i want to be yours  
TG: i want to be your sub  
TG: your anything  
TG: so whatever you want  
TG: ill try  
TG: on fucking god ill try  
TG: even if i dont get it  
TG: even if it seems so fucking stupid and backwards and against everything i know  
TG: if its coming from you  
TG: ill do my best  
TG: because i love you  
CG: THAT’S ALL I WANT.  
CG: AND IT’S OKAY IF IT’S CONFUSING OR WHATEVER. WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT.  
CG: I JUST REALLY, REALLY, REALLY  
CG: REALLLLLLYYYY  
CG: NEED YOU TO TALK TO ME.  
CG: AND LET ME KNOW WHEN SHIT IS WEIRD OR YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING OR IF IT TRIGGERS A FLASHBACK  
CG: ANYTHING  
CG: EVERYTHING  
CG: TELL ME ALL OF IT  
CG: IF I TELL YOU A RULE, TELL ME THE RULE SHE DRILLED INTO YOUR HEAD THAT CONTRADICTS IT  
CG: AND WE’LL BEAT IT’S FUCKING BRAINS OUT TOGETHER  
CG: AND I JUST WANT TO PUT IT OUT THERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW  
CG: I WILL NOT DO A FUCKING THING THAT CAUSES YOU ANY KIND OF PAIN DURING A SCENE  
CG: I’M JUST  
CG: NOT FUCKING COMFORTABLE WITH THAT  
TG: okay  
TG: i mean that makes sense when i look at it from like  
TG: a flipped perspective  
TG: the idea of hurting you it just  
TG: makes my fucking stomach turn  
CG: I KNOW WE LEAVE HICKEYS ALL OVER EACH OTHER LIKE RAVENOUS FUCKING WOLVES BUT THAT SHITS DIFFERENT  
CG: THERE’S  
CG: THERE’S BAD PAIN AND THERE’S GOOD PAIN  
CG: AND ALL SHE EVER DID WAS GIVE YOU BAD PAIN AND TELL YOU IT WAS GOOD  
CG: THAT IT’S WHAT YOU DESERVED  
CG: BUT **FUCK** THAT  
CG: ALL I CAN HANDLE FOR NOW IS LIKE, HICKEYS, AND UH  
CG: SCRATCHING??  
CG: JUST LIKE THE TYPICAL SHIT I DO WHEN I GET  
CG: CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT  
CG: OR WHATEVER  
TG: what about um  
TG: biting  
TG: because im going to be really sad  
TG: if thats off the table now  
CG: OH NO BITINGS FINE  
TG: okay phew  
CG: I THOUGHT THAT JUST KIND OF FELL UNDER  
CG: THE HICKEY  
CG: CATEGORY  
TG: uhhh i mean i guess that would make sense i just didnt really think about it  
TG: brains kinda firing on half capacity right now  
TG: for like  
TG: four reasons  
CG: WELL I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU IF THERE WAS ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR YOU WERE INTERESTED IN TRYING  
CG: BUT LETS HEAR THOSE REASONS FIRST  
CG: EVERYTHING OKAY?  
CG: I KNOW IT’S A LOT.  
TG: um okay not gonna lie just picked a random number  
TG: but there is some stuff  
TG: i guess obviously i just had a fucking disgustingly good mind blowing orgasm from my fiance just sending me some text and then telling me to cum so thats like  
TG: an entire thirty percent of my brain still offline right there  
TG: but i guess im just  
TG: overwhelmed  
TG: its kind of weird to like  
TG: just get everything flipped on its head  
TG: feeling kind of stupid i guess  
TG: like i just dont  
TG: get it  
CG: IT’S OKAY TO NOT GET IT.  
CG: THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME TOO, REMEMBER?  
CG: THIS IS THE BLIND LEADING THE FUCKING BLIND.  
CG: FRANKLY, WE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO FUCK IT UP.  
CG: HOPEFULLY NOT AS BAD AS THE FIRST TIME, NOW THAT WE’RE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OVER.  
CG: BUT  
CG: ERIDAN TOLD ME IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN  
CG: HE JUST SAID IT WAS ABOUT CONDITIONING. THAT I HAD TO BE PATIENT.  
TG: thats true but also ugh  
TG: eridan  
CG: UGH YEAH I KNOW  
CG: I KIND OF TESTED MY UH  
CG: UM  
CG: DOMMISHNESS???  
CG: OUT ON HIM  
TG: oh my god  
CG: NOT LIKE SEX WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!!!  
CG: JESUS  
TG: okay phew but also holy shit  
TG: what did you do  
CG: HE’S WOUND UP TIGHTER THAN A FUCKING SNARE DRUM  
CG: AND LOOKED DOWN ON MY BROWN ASS LIKE I WAS THE FUCKING HELP  
CG: AND SO I THOUGHT  
CG: IF I CAN PUT THE SAME EXPRESSION I SAW ON YOUR FACE  
CG: ON HIS FACE  
CG: JUST WITH WORDS  
CG: THEN I WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS LONG-DISTANCE DOMMING THING  
CG: AND THINKING ABOUT IT NOW MAKES ME KIND OF WANT TO VOMIT ALL OVER THIS APPLEBEE’S PARKING LOT  
CG: GOD  
CG: ANYWAY IT WORKED SO IT WASN’T A FUCKING FLUKE I GUESS.  
TG: wow  
TG: im actually  
TG: yeah thinking about that is absolutely making my dick try to get hard again hold on  
CG: OH.  
TG: the dom part not the vomit part  
TG: i feel like i need to clarify  
CG: IF YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET ICE  
CG: OR SOMETHING UH  
CG: MAYBE DON’T  
CG: DO THAT  
CG: RIGHT NOW  
TG: what  
TG: why  
CG: WELL FIRSTLY  
CG: SO FUCKING UNFAIR BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY COOKING ON THE PAVEMENT OF  
CG: AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH  
CG: A **FUCKING APPLEBEE’S PARKING LOT**   
CG: SO I WOULD LITERALLY DISEMBOWEL A DOG FOR SOME ICED SWEET TEA OR SOME SHIT RIGHT ABOUT NOW  
CG: ALSO I LEFT THE WATER BOTTLE THE UBER DRIVER GAVE ME IN THE BACK SEAT IN MY RUSH TO UH  
TG: oh  
CG: COME TO YOUR AID  
TG: alright  
TG: out of solidarity  
TG: i will not ice my poor dick  
CG: SECOND OF ALL  
CG: IF I DID HAVE A GLASS OF ICED SWEET TEA RIGHT NOW  
CG: INSTEAD OF BEING LOGICAL AND DRINKING IT  
CG: I WOULD DUMP IT ON MY CROTCH  
CG: BECAUSE I HAVE HAD A VERY CONFUSING BONER EVER SINCE YOU CAME UNTOUCHED  
CG: AND IT’S KIND OF JUST  
CG: BEEN GOING UP AND DOWN AS THE CONVERSATION WENT ON  
CG: MIIIIGHT HAVE BEEN FULLY ERECT FOR THAT ENTIRE HEATED DEBATE WE HAD  
CG: SO JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE. SENDING THAT OFF INTO THE UNIVERSE, WHERE IT’LL HOPEFULLY GET SUCKED INTO A PLANE ENGINE AND DESTROYED AND WE CAN JUST NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN.  
CG: BUT YEAH  
CG: THE POINT BEING  
CG: WE ARE ENTRENCHED IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER MOTHERFUCKER  
CG: AND IF I CAN’T ICE DOWN MY DICK RIGHT NOW THEN NEITHER THE FUCK CAN YOU  
TG: alright fine out of solidarity  
TG: i will keep my dick off ice  
TG: so that you dont have to rub one out in an applebees parking lot  
TG: youre ihop class at least babe  
CG: THANK YOU.  
CG: BUT I WILL SUBMIT A RAIN CHECK  
CG: WE CAN GET BACK ONTO SUCH TOPICS THAT WOULD INDUCE MUTUAL BONERS BENEFICIAL TO BOTH PARTIES  
CG: ONCE I’M AT JADE’S AND SHE IS FAST, FAST ASLEEP AND CAN’T KINK SHAME ME FOR SEXTING MY BOYFRIEND.  
TG: i am so fucking down for that  
TG: because holy shit karkat you have no idea what being told to wait does to me  
TG: well  
TG: actually i guess you might have an idea now  
CG:  
CG: I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA, YEAH.  
TG: haha yeah  
CG: BUT, SHOOSH.  
CG: SHSHSHSHHHHHH.  
CG: NOT ANOTHER WORD.  
CG: APPLEBEE’S  
CG: PARKING  
CG: LOT  
CG: DESERTED, YES.  
CG: TEMPTING, VERY MUCH SO.  
TG: ok yoda  
TG: jerk off you must not  
TG: hmmmmmrg  
TG: on you the fate of the universe rests  
TG: succumb to your boner you must not  
CG: F  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: S tOP  
CG: JEUS C H RITS  
TG: what is the matter young padawan vantas  
TG: craving my mcnuggies are you  
CG: IT’S TOO FUCKIHAA  
TG: hmmmmmm  
CG: HOTTF FOR TNIS  
CG: MY BRA IN CAANT STOP ReADINg  
CG: IN tHE FucKING VOICE  
TG: a shame that is  
TG: so terrible is this fate  
CG: I HATE YOU  
TG: a strong word hate is  
TG: but fitting it may be for an applebees parking lot  
CG: THERE NOW WE’RE EVEN WE BOTH FUCKED UP OUR QUIRKS  
CG: YOU USED (GASP!!!) PUNCTUATION  
TG: restored to the force the balance is  
TG: hhmmmmrg  
CG: I STOPPED USING CAPS FOR A SECO  
CG: HAHAHAHA STOOOP  
TG: on a jedi master work your mind tricks will not  
CG: OKAY YOU FUCKED THAT ONE UP  
TG: no the fuck i didnt  
TG: subject verb action bitch  
CG: “WORK ON A JEDI MASTER YOUR MIND TRICKS WILL NOT”  
TG: wait fuck  
TG: god dammnit  
CG: THAT’S JUST A ROOKIE FUCKING MISTAKE  
CG: FAKE FAN  
TG: smh  
TG: throw me in the dungeon  
TG: hey have you ever read star wars fic where they fuck up yodas dialogue so badly that its unreadable  
TG: i have  
TG: its painful  
TG: like he doesnt shuffle his words around randomly  
TG: hes just got a different grammer structure  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: yah  
CG: ARE YOU TELLING ME RIGHT NOW.  
CG: YOU READ STAR WARS FANFICTION.  
TG: yeah  
TG: why  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
TG: cant a man enjoy a little bit of homoerotic tension made reality my dude  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE A BIGGER NERD THAN I AM.  
TG: fuck you  
TG: i will wear that title with pride  
CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.  
TG: smh can you even name my favorite star wars characters  
CG: OH FUCK.  
CG: THIS IS A TEST, ISN’T IT.  
TG: in the technical sense of the word yes  
TG: but its no big deal if you dont get it right im mostly goofing  
CG: I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU ENJOYED STAR WARS UNIRONICALLY UP UNTIL TWO FUCKING SECONDS AGO  
CG: WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU READ FANFICTION  
CG: OKAY NO FUCK NO LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS  
TG: take as much time as you need babe  
TG: im curious to hear your answer  
CG: I’M WALKING TO JADE’S NOW BY THE WAY SO WE GOT TIME FOR THIS SHIT  
TG: babe what  
TG: isnt it a billion degrees out  
CG: YEAH, BUT I GOOGLED HER ADDRESS AND IT’S NOT FAR.  
TG: please dont get heatstroke  
CG: I’M MOSTLY BEING DRAMATIC, THIS WOULD PROBABLY FEEL LIKE A BROKEN AIR CONDITIONER IN A CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF NOVEMBER TO YOU.  
CG: YOU KNOW ME AND HEAT AREN’T AS CHUMMY AS YOU.  
TG: im going to google the temp of where u are  
TG: babe what the fuck its 97 out thats not being dramatic  
CG: I’M GOOGLING THE CAST OF STAR WARS  
CG: DAVE IT’S FINE IT’S LIKE  
CG: TWENTY MINUTES AWAY  
CG: IT WOULD HONESTLY TAKE LONGER TO GET A RIDE, THE TRAFFIC HERE IS FUCKING INSANE.  
TG: okay okay  
TG: but if you get heatstroke im going to say i told you so  
TG: and then be pissed  
CG: SO ARE WE COUNTING THE MAIN TRILOGY ONLY, OR **ALL** STAR WARS?  
CG: HELP ME NARROW IT DOWN.  
TG: you know what ill make it easier  
TG: one favorite from each trilogy  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THAT EASIER?!  
TG: because then you get to look at the cast of each trilogy instead of all nine movies at once  
CG: UGH OKAY WELL  
CG: IN THE PREQUELS IT HAS TO BE  
CG: YOUNG OBI-WAN  
TG: bzzzzzzt  
CG: BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THOSE MOVIES W H AT  
CG: NO WAY  
CG: FUCK  
TG: fuckin padme dude get the fuck outta here  
CG: OKAY YEAH NATALIE PORTMAN IS EQUALLY AS BANGIN’ AS EWAN MCGREGOR. FAIR POINT.  
TG: wow you think i like padme because of her looks  
TG: smh karkat  
TG: how could you think im so shallow  
CG: WE CAN DISCUSS WHY YOU LIKE EACH CHARACTER AFTER I’VE GUESSED.  
TG: haha ok  
CG: OKAY MAIN TRILOGY NOW.  
CG: UHHH  
CG: LANDO?  
TG: nope  
CG: SHIT!!!  
CG: WOW I’M EVEN WORSE AT THIS THAN I AM AT DOMMING.  
TG: what  
TG: babe keep those words out of your mouth or i will frowny face at you  
TG: dont think i wont  
CG: GOD, PLEASE NO.  
CG: ANYTHING BUT THAT.  
CG: I WAS MOSTLY KIDDING.  
CG: SO WHO IS IT THEN?  
TG: fuckin leia dude  
CG: OKAY I’M JUST GONNA GUESS REY FOR THE LAST TRILOGY.  
CG: I SEE THE PATTERN HERE.  
TG: youd think so wouldnt you  
CG: FINN.  
TG: nope  
CG: OH COME ON.  
CG: UHH, BB8.  
TG: its kylo my dude  
CG: OKAY, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN THESE TO ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  
TG: hahaha ok  
CG: THE FIRST TWO SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE TAKING THE FEMINIST ROUTE—WHICH IS AN HONOURABLE ROUTE TO TAKE—AND THEN YOU TRIPPED AND FELL INTO THE KYLO REN HOLE.  
TG: excuse you you think id like female characters on the principle of being a feminist  
TG: isnt that like  
TG: the exact opposite  
TG: if youre liking a character just because theyre a women  
TG: that feels like you like them because of a token reason instead of like  
TG: actually liking them  
TG: so isnt that anti feminist really  
CG: IT’S TOO FUCKING HOT TO WAX POETIC ON THE SEMANTICS OF FEMINISM WITH YOU.  
TG: haha ok  
TG: well  
TG: padme is just a fucking badass  
TG: stands up infront of the entire fucking senate for her people  
TG: looks corruption in the eye  
TG: and has literally the best line out of all of the movies  
TG: so this is how democracy dies  
TG: to thunderous applause  
TG: like  
TG: my girl fights her fucking hardest  
CG: WOW.  
TG: also she beats the shit out of a fucking giant cat and unlocks her own cuffs in the area  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO THOSE MOVIES.  
TG: and thats big sexy  
CG: PRETTY SURE WE MADE OUT FOR LIKE 80% OF THEM.  
TG: im pretty sure if i told you how many times ive watched those movies you would be disappointed in me  
CG: GOD.  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SUBJECTED ME TO THE STAR WARS PREQUELS, EVEN AS MERE BACKGROUND NOISE TO OUR MAKEOUT SESSIONS.  
TG: hey fuck you those movies are good  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
CG: AM I DESTINED TO GET CRUSHES ON MEN WITH POOR FUCKING TASTE IN MOVIES?  
CG: THIS IS MY CURSE.  
TG: you dramatic baby  
TG: the prequels are good and i will die on this hill  
TG: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Vnui7RspE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Vnui7RspE)  
CG: I’D SEND YOU THAT “THEN PERISH” OBAMA MEME BUT I THINK THAT WOULD MAKE YOU BUST A NUT FASTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE I’VE SAID ALL DAY.  
TG: yeah that would be cheating and you know it  
CG: WE BOTH KNOW YOU’D LEAVE ME FOR OBAMA IF GIVEN THE CHANCE.  
TG: could you blame me honestly  
TG: like  
TG: its obama dude  
CG: WE BOTH GET **ONE** CELEBRITY.  
CG: OR, IN YOUR CASE, PRESIDENT. CAN PRESIDENTS BE CELEBRITIES?  
TG: i suppose so  
CG: EITHER WAY YOUR GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD IS BARACK OBAMA.  
TG: hell fucking yeah he is  
CG: OKAY I DON’T HAVE FAVOURITE STAR WARS CHARACTERS  
CG: BECAUSE AS PREVIOUSLY DISCOVERED I AM NOT AS BIG A NERD AS YOU  
TG: of course you arent  
TG: you think the prequels are bad  
TG: that automatically disqualifies you babe  
CG: BUT YOU CAN GUESS WHO MY “I’D LEAVE DAVE FOR THEM” CELEB IS  
CG: ALSO FUCK YOU EVERYONE THINKS THE PREQUELS ARE SHIT.  
CG: YOU ARE THE FUCKING MINORITY.  
TG: thats what makes me a nerd  
TG: you ding dong  
TG: okay yours  
TG: hmm  
TG: i feel like theres an obvious answer  
TG: but thats too obvious  
CG: OH?  
TG: i mean the immediate thought is uhhhh  
TG: the guy from gone girl  
TG: whats his name  
TG: hes in like a billion and twelve movies  
TG: ben affleck thats the bitch  
CG: BEN FUCKING AFFLECK??  
TG: but i feel like thats too fucking basic  
TG: like hes hot  
TG: but is he karkat hot  
TG: i dont think so  
CG: NOT MY TYPE.  
TG: wait give me a hint  
TG: are they currently alive  
CG: YES.  
TG: ok there goes that idea  
TG: fuck it im going to take a wild fucking leaping guess into the unknown and say something that is probably wildly off base but like  
TG: i think hes hot  
TG: so  
TG: mads mikkleson  
CG: WHAT IN THE FUCK.  
CG: YOU THINK MADS MIKKLESON IS **HOT**???  
TG: you dont  
TG: look at that man  
CG: OKAY, WOW.  
CG: THAT CONFIRMS IT. I MUST LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BRIDGE TROLL.  
CG: IF YOU THINK MADS FUCKING MIKKLESON IS ATTRACTIVE.  
CG: AND YOU KNOW WHAT BEN AFFLECK WAS PUSHING IT TOO.  
TG: baby you know what makes him attractive  
TG: his overwhelming fucking dom energy  
TG: thats what  
CG: IF MADS MIKKLESON TRIED TO DOM ME I WOULD SCREAM LIKE A GIRL.  
CG: ISN’T HE TYPE CAST AS A VILLIAN IN LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING MOVIE EVER?  
TG: yeah and thats hot  
TG: have you seen him do the fucking egg trick  
CG: SO WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME IS YOU WANT TO ROLEPLAY GETTING KIDNAPPED.  
TG: holy shit  
TG: uh  
TG: hm  
CG: OH SHIT.  
CG: I CAN’T TELL IF THAT WAS UPSETTING OR IF YOU JUST  
TG: no no im thinking about it  
CG: DISCOVERED SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF HERE  
CG: OH.  
CG: OKAY.  
CG: UHH.  
TG: i think ive unlocked a new kink congrats  
TG: holy shit  
CG: OKAY ALLOW ME TO JUST  
CG: SCOOT THAT INTO THE SEXY DOCUMENTS ENVELOPE  
CG: AND FUCKING SAVE THAT SHIT FOR LATER BECAUSE I AM ALMOST TO JADE’S AND FINALLY HAVE THAT WHOLE CONFUSING HARD-ON SITUATION REIGNED IN.  
TG: haha okay  
TG: sounds good to me i am going to lie here and try to stop thinking about the details  
TG: of how  
TG: hng okay distract me please  
CG: IT WAS PAUL RUDD.  
TG: wait fuck really  
CG: YEP.  
TG: goddamit i even looked at him too  
TG: why him  
CG: I LIKE MEN THAT MAKE ME LAUGH.  
TG: you are so fucking lucky that im not there right now because i would be kissing the shit out of you  
CG: !!!  
CG: WHAT REALLY?  
CG: I TOTALLY THOUGHT YOU’D DRAG ME FOR THAT ONE.  
TG: thats so fucking cute babe  
TG: why the fuck would i drag you  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR FIRST GUESS WAS BEN AFFLECK.  
TG: he was hot and kinda clueless in gone girl  
TG: and i thought  
TG: hey thats kinda like me right  
CG: I LITERALLY CAN’T SAY HIS NAME WITHOUT GOING INTO THE DUCK VOICE FROM THOSE COMMERCIALS.  
TG: from what  
CG: SHIT HANG ON.  
CG: <https://youtu.be/IeKZTcKS9Uw>  
TG: how have i never seen this before  
CG: WERE YOU LIVING IN CALI OR UNDER A FUCKING ROCK FOR FIVE YEARS.  
TG: i mean  
TG: basically  
TG: might as well been a rock  
CG: FAIR.  
CG: DON’T WORRY I’LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE HILARIOUS COMMERCIALS YOU MISSED.  
TG: thank fuck  
TG: i look forwards to my education sensei  
CG: OKAY HERE’S YOUR FIRST LESSON.  
CG: <https://youtu.be/SkvI4NoUX6E>  
CG: <https://youtu.be/XMTfHbc788Y>  
CG: THIS IS TONIGHT’S HOMEWORK.  
CG: I WANT A FIVE PAGE ESSAY ON WHY ANIMALS IN COMMERCIALS ARE ALWAYS THE FUNNIEST SHIT ON MY DESK BY TOMORROW MORNING.  
TG: oh my fucking god  
TG: cant i just send you a video of me edging myself instead  
TG: that would be easier  
CG: HOW IN THE BLUE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOURSELF?  
TG: fuck if i know but id figure it out  
CG: I MEAN.  
CG: I DON’T DOUBT YOU COULD.  
CG: I GOTTA ADMIT MY CURIOSITY IS ONCE AGAIN PIQUED.  
TG: actually no i do have an idea  
TG: but youll have to wait and find out  
CG: I WOULD NORMALLY GIVE YOU HELL FOR BEING A TEASING LITTLE SHIT.  
TG: ah but i have the advantage because you dont want another boner  
TG: so  
CG: BUT I AM ACTUALLY COMING UP TO JADE’S DORM BUILDING NOW.  
CG: YEAH, ALSO THAT.  
TG: hahaha  
TG: i love you karkat  
TG: have fun  
CG: I LOVE YOU TOO, D.  
CG: TALK TO YOU LATER.  
CG: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A VIDEO I PLAN TO SEND YOU TONIGHT, TOO.  
CG: JUST A HEADS UP.  
TG: oh man now im going to be thinking about that all day  
TG: or the rest of the day i guess

  
  


  
Karkat smirks at his phone, and is about to type out a response when there’s a sudden shout.

“KARKAT!!”


	5. Chapter 5

“KARKAT!”

Karkat’s head shoots up and he’s able to make out a flash of round glasses and black hair before he’s tackled to the ground, making an inhuman squawk as he’s knocked down, his phone flying out of his hands.

  
  


CG: JSL LSPSPBSI HS  
TG: i hope that wasnt you dying of heatstroke because that would be very sad

  
  


  
“Jesus _fuck_ , Harley,” Karkat wheezes, glaring up at the girl who still has him pinned to the hot sidewalk beneath her as she shakes with laughter.

“Sorry!” Jade laughs, “I was just so excited to see you! I had a feeling you’d be here soon so I stepped outside to check and there you were! And I just couldn’t help myself.”

Karkat grunts with exertion as he gets to his feet and dusts himself off. Jade is crouching down to pick his phone up off the grass, and hands it back to him with a bright smile.

California had given Jade one hell of a tan, but she still had the same beaming smile, buck teeth, and round glasses that Karkat knew from their years together in Chicago. She towered over Karkat, and was probably even a head taller than Dave, with strong looking legs that could probably crack open a watermelon.

Basically the walking embodiment of “cinnamon roll, but can actually kill you”.

Jade takes Karkat’s suitcase and…tucks it under her arm instead of carrying it like a normal person, because of course she does. She grabs Karkat’s free hand with hers and pulls him towards the dorm building.

“Well, come on! We have _so_ much to talk about!” Jade says excitedly, “How far did you walk?? You’re looking flushed! I have some peach tea in the fridge, let’s get you a glass!”

The next few minutes are spent with Jade bringing him up to her apartment, tossing his luggage on the couch (his bed for the next week) and then Jade shoves him into a seat as she hurries off to get them drinks.

Karkat quickly pulls out his phone and snorts when he sees his keyboard smash, and Dave’s response.

  
  


CG: NO, I GOT MAULED BY A GIANT DOG.  
CG: BY WHICH I MEAN I GOT TO JADE’S.

  
  


Jade comes back with their refreshments and Karkat takes a long, needy gulp as Jade sits across from him, tucking her legs under herself and practically vibrating in her seat as she waits for Karkat to finish his sip.

“Well??” Jade says eagerly, “Tell me all about it!”

  
  


—

  
  


Several hours later, once Karkat and Jade have spent most of the afternoon talking about Karkat’s adventurous first few hours in California (with Karkat omitting some bits that Jade did _not_ need to know about, of course), it turns into just catching up in general, then trading old stories while they finish the entire jug of peach tea. Then, Karkat and Jade finally get onto the topic of music.

Karkat shows Jade the notes in his phone, and he could already see her gears starting to turn. She grabs a bright green pen and a spare piece of paper and copies out the notes, then sets it aside on her desk for later.

“We can work on developing it more later this week, but I really like what’s there so far!” Jade gives Karkat a warm smile. “It’s a lot different than your usual stuff.”

Karkat scratches his neck, feeling his cheeks get hot. “I mean,” he mumbles, “That’s kind of the point.”

Jade’s green eyes flash with a knowing glint, and her smirk makes her teeth stick out from her top lip cutely. Then she crosses the room to pick up her acoustic guitar, looking back at Karkat expectantly.

“Well, I know we’ve been doing a lot of talking, but you _also_ drank a bunch of iced tea,” Jade says lightly, “So hopefully your throats feeling up for a little jam session?”

Karkat leans back on the couch, finishing off the last of his drink. “Let me hit the head, and then you’re on.”

  
  


—

  
  


That evening, Jade and Karkat are sitting together on the couch watching a movie, though they’re both on their respective laptops as well.

Jade is working on composing some music to the lyrics Karkat gave her earlier. Karkat is implementing a disastrous virus to be sent to one Sollux Captor’s precious computer.

Jade sends Karkat over a video file, shooting him a wink over the top of her computer, followed by a bunch of waggling eyebrows.

“I do believe you wanted to send Dave a little surprise-surprise?” Jade giggles, looking cheeky.

Karkat rolls his eyes, very half-heartedly, and shoves Jade with his foot. Jade makes a feigned noise of disgust that quickly devolves into a snorting laugh, and shoves him right back.

Karkat opens the desktop version of Pesterchum, opens Dave’s chat window, and sends him the video file Jade just sent to him.

CG: <https://open.spotify.com/track/0w1SGCzd6HeSFrIMaapGDR?si=GaW1Xm7dSEqZ6dW2TaPIcw>

  
  


  
When Dave gets the message with the video link, he’s in Karkat’s room, having just finished rifling through Karkat’s hamper to find the softest of his sweaters.

He tugs it on, loving the way it just _drowns_ him in softness and pauses long enough to lift the hem up to his nose and breathe in, smelling Karkat.

God. How the fuck is he going to get through a _week?_ It’s the first day and he’s already missing Karkat so fucking badly it’s _insane_.

He looks at his phone, grinning at the messages about Jade, then clicks on the video. It’s way too early to be exchanging naughty videos, right? His thoughts are confirmed when he sees Jade and Karkat sitting, Jade with her guitar out.

Okay, okay. This is gonna be something important, Dave can just feel it. He pauses the video and frees his headphones from his bag, plugging them in and curling up on Karkat’s bed, breathing in Karkat, Karkat, _Karkat_.

He hits play and closes his eyes.

_No one special at 14_  
_Official exception at 15_  
_Confirmed one-in-ten by 16_  
_The next year slips me_

_Was just a name 18_  
_And just a mess at 19_  
_Two decades gone_  
_And still above the ground at least_

Oh. _Karkat_ . Dave feels his heart squeeze in his chest at the lyrics. He wants to hold Karkat so badly. Wants to have him close and feel his warmth and kiss his cheek and just _have him here_.

_That’s not true,_ Dave thinks, _you were always special, Karkat. You were perfect to me._

_It’s dangerous to speak_  
_Takes too much energy_  
_It’s harder now to see_  
_What really bothers me_

Staying quiet… because he didn’t want to hurt Dave _more_ . Because it’s safer that way. Because he didn’t want to make Dave see Damara instead of _Karkat_.

_Oh, **Karkat…** _

_So please don’t shout_  
_It’s much to quiet, now_

_I’ve found my place_  
_In vacancy_

_Leaving things behind_  
_So they can find me_

Dave can’t even fucking begin to describe the fucking feelings swirling through him. The regret of years wasted, the shame of making Karkat feel alone and lost and terrible and _alone_ , the soft, helpless ache of _but I found you again._

_Thunderclaps are a strange lullaby_  
_But isn’t the rain_  
_Just a reminder of how great it is to be inside?_

That’s something Austin never fucking had. _Rain._ Oh, it happened, but it was never the great storms like Chicago has. Chicago is so much harder, stronger- and Dave and Karkat have spend so many nights curled together just listening to the thunder, kissing softly, counting the spaces between the lightning and the thunder with the distance between their bodies.

_In a crowd I’m no one_  
_Some would say otherwise_  
_But the cons of being someone_  
_Can outweigh the pros sometimes_

_It’s dangerous to know_  
_These things I wasn’t told_  
_Looking back will show where I have to grow_

Dave can only guess. Is it about not knowing why Dave left? Is it about domming? Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither. Maybe it doesn’t matter at all, but his heart is tight in his chest.

_So please don’t shout out_  
_It’s much to quiet, now_

_I’ve found my place_  
_In vacancy_

_Leaving things behind_  
_So they can find me_

Fuck. _Fuck_ . Dave’s eyes are burning. He tugs Karkat’s sweater up to his nose and breathes deep, his entire body aching to be touched, his skin shivering, just desperate for _Karkat_.

_Thunderclaps are a strange lullabye_  
_But isn’t the rain_  
_Just a reminder of how great it is to be inside?_

_Thunder claps are the strangest lullabyes_  
_They turn off all my screens_  
_So i’m forced to close my eyes_

It’s like Karkat is sitting right next to him. With his eyes closed, Dave can almost imagine the dip in the bed where Karkat sits, the press of his back against Dave’s as he sings.

_The quiet has more noises_  
_Than I’m used to_  
_But these voices drown them out_  
_Flooding now_  
_They won’t stop until I_ _**drown** _

The high note hits him like a punch to the fucking gut. A gasp is torn from his throat, tears overflowing and rolling down his cheeks, his hands flying to his ears to press his headphones closer to his ears.

His heart feels so fucking full, aching and heavy and throbbing in his chest as he rewinds and lets Karkat’s voice pour into him. Again. And again. Listening to the soaring voice of his fiance like it’s a fucking lifeline, over and over and over, just looping the line again and again and again as tears run down his cheeks, as he curls in on himself, as he _aches_ for Karkat’s touch.

“I love you.” He whispers, tapping back again. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Replaying it again. “I love you.”

Finally, he forces himself to listen to the rest.

_In vacancy_  
_Leaving things behind_  
_If they wan’t they’ll find me_

_Thunderclaps are a strange lullabye_  
_But isn’t the rain_  
_Just a reminder of how great it is to be inside?_

_The coming storm is a strange lullabye_  
_I love the rain_  
_Because it reminds me of how great it is to be inside_

Dave closes the video and fumbles with pesterchum.

  
  


TG: i love you  
TG: i love you so much karkat  
TG: fuck  
TG: what the fuck do i even say  
TG: i love you  
TG: so  
TG: fucking much  
TG: so much  
TG: i love you

  
Karkat sends the video and sets aside his laptop as he waits to hear what Dave thinks of the song.

It’s not the one meant specifically for Dave, but it’s still a fairly recent one, touching on more of his recent thoughts and feelings than just the depression he felt in those five years. He hopes Dave can hear the hopefulness in the melody, which Jade knocked out of the fucking park, as usual.

The movie wraps up, and Jade is ready to crash. She was a trooper to stay up even this late (she had narcolepsy so she struggled to stay awake through the movie once she finished working on music) and Karkat once again feels guilty for keeping her waiting up for the first half of the morning. But Jade just waves off his apology once again.

“Don’t be silly,” she says, and even with the exhaustion in her voice she still manages to sound bubbly, “It was important to Dave, and you, too.”

Jade gets up from the couch and stretches, groaning softly. Then scratches at her hair as she lets out a big yawn.

“I want to show you what I have so far for music tomorrow,” Jade says, “And I think I’ve got some backing vocals I want you to sing that I’ll edit in over top…” she waves her hands dismissively, “Agh, it’s too much to go into right now! Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have a dream where the whole song is done and have it all figured out by tomorrow morning!”

Karkat didn’t doubt she would. “Sounds like a plan,” he says, “Would you want to meet up with Feferi tomorrow night, after we practice and shit?”

Jade perks up at that, and nods excitedly. “Yeah! That sounds great! Ooh, I’m really looking forward to meeting her, you made her sound so nice!”

Jade picks up her laptop and their stray cups and the remnants of the snacks they’d devoured. “Let me help you get the couch set up.”

They clean up, Jade goes to get some extra blankets from her room, and sets them up on the couch.

“Sorry again you have to sleep on the couch,” Jade says with a pout.

“It’s fine,” Karkat says, “Dave and I wind up passing out on my couch so much back home, I practically sleep there more than my bed anyway.”

Jade grins at that, and Karkat feels his ears burn. Then she’s saying goodnight, and is down the hall and off to bed.

Karkat’s feeling pretty fucking exhausted himself, which is a nice change of pace for him, honestly. He’s got the opposite of Jade’s problem, most days. But after an early morning at the airport, and everything else that followed, Karkat is ready to sink into the couch and never get back up. Jade can wake him up in a week, and then he’ll go back home to Dave.

As if on cue, Karkat’s laptop and phone both go off simultaneously, and Karkat picks up his phone to see Dave is messaging him. He smiles to himself as he takes his toiletries to the bathroom to get ready for bed, bringing his phone with him.

His phone is still buzzing away, and he smirks. Karkat leaves the phone on the sink while he washes his face and brushes his teeth, letting Dave get out his babble. Karkat peeks at the shower, tempted—honestly, he really should, he got sweaty on the walk to Jade’s…

Too fucking tired. He’ll just shower first thing in the morning. Karkat leaves his bathroom shit under the sink, out of the way, grabs his phone and heads back to the couch. He’d already changed into pjs a few hours ago when he and Jade hunkered down to watch movies, so he flops back onto the couch and gets nestled under the covers. Looks like his phone is done blowing up. Karkat finally opens Dave’s Pesterchum window, and his heart instantly melts. He quickly types out a response.

  
  


CG: I GUESS YOU LIKED THE SONG?  
TG: yeah it was  
TG: something  
TG: fuck  
TG: i dunno karkat im just feeling so fucking many things right now  
TG: its fucking overwhelming  
TG: god  
TG: i just love you so much babe  
CG: OH. WOW.  
CG: THAT’S UH  
CG: UM, SORRY IF IT WAS KIND OF A LOT?  
CG: I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE HAPPIER THAN MY OLDER STUFF.  
CG: I’M TRYING TO WRITE HAPPIER STUFF. NOW.  
CG: TRYING TO BE A TRIANGLE AND STUFF, YOU KNOW?  
CG: AGH. YOU PROBABLY DON’T REMEMBER THAT.  
CG: ANYWAY. I LOVE YOU, TOO.  
CG: DID YOU WIND UP GOING TO MY PLACE?  
TG: no its good overwhelming  
TG: i promise  
TG: but um  
TG: yeah i did  
CG: OH. GOOD. WELL, UH, GLAD YOU LIKED IT.  
CG: JADE’S OVER THE MOON TO FINALLY HAVE A VIDEO OF US PLAYING.  
CG: IT’S TWO HOURS AHEAD IN CHICAGO.  
CG: AND IT’S ALREADY PRETTY LATE HERE.  
CG: DID YOU GO BACK TO YOUR DORM, OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA CRASH AT MY PLACE?  
TG: yeah im pretty sure im crashing at yours  
TG: it smells like you  
TG: its nice  
CG: WELL THAT’S NOT FUCKIN’ ADORABLE OR ANYTHING.  
TG: i am the most kawaii  
TG: you should know this  
CG: OHH MY GODDDD.  
CG: IT ALMOST MADE ME FORGET WHAT A BIG FUCKING OTAKU YOU ARE.  
CG: (I’M JOKING. NEVER STOP.)  
CG: YOU MAKE ME LOOK INFINITELY LESS NERDY BY COMPARISON.  
TG: i will ooh wooh at you unironically if itd make you laugh babe  
CG: IF IT’S ANYTHING LIKE YOUR YODA IMPRESSION, IT JUST MIGHT.  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
CG: UWU YODA  
TG: just for you babe  
TG:   
CG: OH GOD.  
CG: OH FUCK.  
CG: TOO CUTE.  
CG: BE RIGHT BACK, I’M GONNA GO SMASH MY FIST THROUGH THE DRYWALL SO I CAN FEEL MANLY AGAIN.  
TG: haha i think jade might have an issue with that  
TG: or at least i would hope she would  
CG: OKAY INSTEAD OF PUTTING HOLES IN JADE’S APARTMENT I MADE THIS INSTEAD.  
CG: BEHOLD MY ARTISTRY:  
CG:   
TG: that is so horrifying that i adore it  
CG: I KNEW YOU’D LIKE IT.  
CG: SO  
CG: YOU’RE STAYING AT MY PLACE  
CG: IF I HAD TO WAGER A GUESS  
CG: YOU’RE PROBABLY LYING IN MY BED RIGHT NOW.  
CG: WEARING ONE OF MY SWEATERS OUT OF MY FUCKING HAMPER INSTEAD OF A PERFECTLY GOOD CLEAN ONE IN THE CLOSET, BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ANIMAL.  
CG: BUT FUCK IF YOU DON’T LOOK CUTE AS SHIT ANYWAY.  
TG: you are absolutely not wrong  
TG: your clean ones dont smell like you  
TG: duh  
TG: curled up in your bed wearing your sweater  
TG: im so warm i can close my eyes and its like youre here  
TG: radiating heat next to me  
CG:  
CG: DAVE I WON’T LIE.  
CG: I WAS TRYING TO GET STUFF GOING.  
CG: AND YOU ARE BEING SO FUCKING SOFT AND INNOCENT AND PURE RIGHT NOW.  
TG: well shit that was all you had to say  
CG: THAT IT’S MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A GROSS OLD TURD.  
CG: OH.  
TG: ive been thinking about you for like  
TG: an hour  
TG: at least  
TG: you want to know the other reason i picked a dirty sweater instead of a clean one  
CG: ONLY AN HOUR? HUH.  
TG: look i had homework i had to do  
TG: you should give me props for being able to focus on it  
TG: when youve been  
TG: consuming me  
TG: all day  
CG: INNOCENT **AND** STUDIOUS?? THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU.  
TG: maybe im trying to earn good boy points  
CG: WELL IT’S WORKING.  
TG: thank fuck it was so fucking hard to focus on my homework that bitch was rougher than you are  
CG: YOU WERE TELLING ME WHY YOU DECIDED TO WEAR MY GROSS, DIRTY CLOTHES?  
TG: oh right  
TG: cause the only thing im wearing right now is your sweater  
CG: OH.  
TG: ill send you a pic if you want  
TG: im pretty fucking kawaii in my boyfriend sweater  
CG: WELL IN THAT CASE MARK ME DOWN AS SEVERELY **OVER** DRESSED.  
CG: HERE I AM IN PJ PANTS (YOURS) AND A T-SHIRT LIKE SOME KIND OF ASSHOLE.  
CG: WHILE YOU’RE OVER THERE ALL HALF-NAKED, IN NOTHING BUT  
CG: MY  
CG: FUCKINGGG  
CG: SHIRT  
CG: JESUS CHRIST.  
TG: [Image sent: it’s a POV picture of Dave, looking down his body. The sheets have been kicked down around his knees, long pale legs on display. He’s in a grey sweater, and pushing it up at the end is a very very visible tent.]  
TG: missing you pretty hard right now karkat  
TG: haha  
TG: pretty hard  
CG: JESUS.  
CG: YOU SAID YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME FOR THE LAST HOUR?  
TG: yeah  
CG: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?  
TG: thinking about you straddling my chest leaving my dick untouched as you slowly jerk off  
TG: making me watch  
TG: not allowed to touch myself or you  
TG: sticking out my tongue to catch the drips that youre giving me  
TG: not even tying me down just making me keep my hands next to my head  
TG: maybe reaching back and running a single finger up the underside of my dick every now and again to tease me  
TG: telling me how pretty i am flushed and desperate  
TG: how good im being for not touching  
CG: FUCKING GOD.  
CG: OKAY, I WAS GOING TO WAIT UNTIL MORNING, BUT LOOKS LIKE I’M WIDE AWAKE NOW.  
CG: GOING TO THE SHOWER.  
CG: SUDDENLY HAVE SOME  
CG: BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF  
CG: SHOWER PICS INCOMING OBVIOUSLY  
TG: oh hell yes  
CG: HANG ON.  
CG: YOU AREN’T TOUCHING YOURSELF, ARE YOU?  
TG: my hands are clear  
TG: no dick touching  
TG: not even to adjust  
CG: ATTA BOY.  
TG: hhn  
TG: thanks  
TG: i feel lightheaded honestly  
TG: so much blood stolen from my brain for so long  
CG: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.  
CG: WASN’T SURE WHAT WAS GOING TO DO ME IN FIRST, EARLIER TODAY.  
CG: ALL THE BLOOD RUSHING TO MY DICK, OR THE HEAT.  
CG: WILL BE NICE TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF IT NOW.  
TG: im jealous  
TG: i wanna touch karkat  
CG: [Image Sent: POV image taken from the top-down, showing a peek of Karkat’s chest and stomach. He’s got his hand holding onto his dick, which is fully hard and being dappled with droplets of water along with his chest and stomach from the steamy shower.]  
TG: fuck  
TG: wanna be on my knees there right now  
TG: sucking you off  
TG: fuck karkat have i ever told you how much i love your dick  
TG: because i really  
TG: really  
TG: wanna worship it right now  
CG: YOU’VE TOLD ME ONCE OR TWICE.  
CG: HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME ALL THE THINGS YOU’D DO TO WORSHIP IT RIGHT NOW, IF YOU WERE HERE?  
CG: AND IN THE MEANTIME I’LL TRY AND HAVE MY HAND DO THE DESCRIPTION JUSTICE.  
TG: god  
TG: okay yeah  
TG: on my knees looking up at your perfect dick  
TG: id lick nice and slow down the side of it  
TG: mouth back up to the tip  
CG: OKAY. STARTING OFF NICE AND SLOW.  
TG: lick my tongue over your slit karkat i know how that makes your legs weak  
TG: flicking back and forth over it  
CG: ROLLING THE HEAD IN MY FINGERS.  
CG: FFFUCK  
TG: trying to tease a couple of drops out of you so you can smear it on my mouth  
CG: RUBBING MY THUMB OVER THE SLIT, BACK AND FORTH, PRETENDING IT’S YOUR TONGUE  
TG: kiss down the other side of it  
TG: rub my tongue around the base of your dick  
TG: then go lower  
TG: fucking love your balls karkat  
TG: love the weight of them in my fucking mouth  
TG: id suck on them and get them nice and wet  
CG: F FUCK  
CG: OKAY GOD OKAY I’M ROLLING THEM AROUND IN MY HANDS.  
CG: PRETENDING THE HOT SHOWER WATER IS YOUR MOUT H  
CG: NOWHHERE CLOS E  
TG: id nuzzle my face right up against your dick  
TG: pressing as close as i can so that i can lick all the way around to the back of your balls  
TG: only thing i can smell is you baby  
TG: its so fucking good  
TG: wait  
TG: holy shit hold on im a genius  
TG: one moment  
CG: F U CKKN  
CG: NO T GOING ANYWHERE E  
TG: okay sorry  
TG: found some of your underwear like the biggest pervert in existence  
CG: WH A T

  
Karkat nearly slips in the shower.

TG: now i can smell you for real  


  
He curses under his breath, ripping open the shower curtain, grabbing a towel to quickly scrub the steam and water droplets built up on his phone screen making it impossible to type.

TG: fuuck its like im really there  
TG: god  


  
Karkat yanks the shower curtain back closed, facing away from the stream now, practically standing right out of the spray to keep his phone from getting wet. He quickly reads through Dave’s newest messages, then thumbs out a reply.

CG: YOU HAVE MY UNDERWEAR  
CG: PRESSED UP TO YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW??  
TG: smells reallyngood karkat  
TG: ffuck jm so hard  
CG: SOMEHOW SO AM I  
CG: JESUS THAT SHOULD NOT BE AS HOT AS IT IS  
CG: GOD  
TG: figuredd out my edging baby  
TG: oh godd  
CG: HOW’S THAT?  
TG: gotta stop smellong  
TG: too fuckin good  
CG: JESUS GET YOUR FACE OUTTA MY UNDERWEAR ALREADY  
TG: im so fucking hard  
TG: holy shit  
TG: karkat my dick could cut diamonds right now  
TG: please tell me i can ice it  
CG: NO!  
TG: i dont know how long itll take t  
TG: hnhjnjng  
TG: okay  
TG: fuck  
CG: YOU WERE TELLING ME HOW YOU’D WORSHIP ME.  
CG: SO KEEP GOING.  
TG: fuck  
TG: right  
TG: okay  
TG: fucking licking at your balls all up in your scent  
TG: heads fucking spinning like crazy smells so good  
TG: get them wet and give them a big kiss  
TG: kiss back up your dick  
CG: HJSKNN  
CG: THANK CHRIST  
TG: gonna lick long licks up the underside of your dick karkat  
CG: I CAN’T TOUCH MY BALLS LIKE YOU DO IT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT COMPARE  
TG: damn right it doesnt  
CG: OKAY LONG STROKES I CAN DDO TH AT  
CG: FUCCKINN  
CG: HANG ON  
CG:  
CG: [Video Sent: A short video file of Karkat slowly stroking up and down his cock in long, firm strokes. The shower spray is at Karkat’s back, but there’s still plenty of steam, and the sound of Karkat’s breath.]  
TG: h  
TG: fuck  
TG: wish i was the one touching you  
TG: fuck baby  
TG: wanna be tasting you  
TG: i think ive come down from the edge can i smell your underwear again  
CG: OH MY GOD IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT BY YOU “FIGURINGG OUT EDGING”?  
CG: SMELLING MY BOX ERS WAS GETTING YOU CLOSE TO THE EDGE?  
TG: yeah  
CG: FUCK  
CG: YEAH, GO AHEA D  
TG: hhhhh  
TG: thank you  
CG: YOU REALL Y  
CG: LIKE HOW THEY SMELL THAT MUCH?  
TG: baby lemme put this flat iut there on the table bcnof everything  
TG: i am a big dum cumbrain slut for your scent  
CG: JESUS CHRIST  
CG: I THOUGHT I WAS BAD  
CG: USED TO JERK OFF TO THE SMELL OF A SHIRT YOU LEFT AT MY HOUSE, ONE TIME  
CG: AND WHEN IT STARTED TO NOT SMELL LIKE YOU ANYMORE I WASHED IT AN D GAVE IT BACK SO YOU’D WEAR IT AGAIN  
TG: oh  
TG: thats  
TG: thats really ghot  
CG: GOD. THAT WAS WHEN WE WERE TEENAGERS.  
CG: NEVER EVER TOLDD YOU THAT.  
CG: USED TO SSLEEP WITH IT, USED IT AS A PILLOWCASEE  
TG: thatsso fuckin gay i love you so muchj  
TG: god  
CG: SO I CCOULD SMELL YOU EVERY TIME I TOOKK A BREATHH  
CG: ONLY THINGG THAT LET ME SLEEP  
TG: fuck i gotta breathe  
TG: god  
TG: holy shit karkat  
TG: thats so fucking  
TG: fuck  
TG: thats stupid romantic hearing that  
TG: and really really hot  
TG: and i am taking one of your shirts home to do that  
CG: NNFUCK  
CG: SHOULD HAVE BROUGHTT ONE OF YOUR SHIRTS  
TG: is it too much 5o mail one  
TG: overnight express  
TG: probably  
CG: MAYBE THE PJS WILL WORKK  
CG: HANG ON  
TG: hope so  
CG: OKAFUUCK  
CG: YEP.  
CG: STILL FUCKIIN SMELL LIKEE YOU  
TG: god yes  
TG: im right fucking here karkat  
TG: fuck  
TG: im right there jusy worshippin you  
CG: FCKU  
CG: DNO STOPP  
TG: im kissin you all over babvy  
TG: finally takin byour dick in my mouth  
TG: suckinng on the tip  
TG: light snd teasing  
TG: im juest savorin your taste  
TG: licking over your slit  
TG: hh fuck im suckingnon mybfingers baby but its not the same  
CG: HWO MANYY  
TG: wanna have your cokj in my mouth  
TG: hnmjh its three  
CG: S MANY SPELLIN MISSTAKES AS MEE  
CG: NOT TOUCCHIN YOURSELF F AR E UOY  
TG: hhhhh  
TG: no  
TG: im not  
TG: do fucking lightesdsd though  
TG: you smelll so fuckin good  
CG: GOOD  
CG: BREATHE BABY  
CG: GET SOME AIR  
TG: hhhhhhhhhhhhh og you meant  
TG: air  
TG: fuck imm close  
CG: STOP SMELLING ME THEN  
TG: okay  
TG: fuck  
TG: okayy  
TG: hhhhhhh karkat  
TG: wanna cum  
TG: im fucking throbbing so bad i want  
CG: I’M SO FUCKING CLOSE DAVE.  
CG: HELP ME GET THERE FIRST.  
TG: okay  
TG: hh id  
CG: THEN YOU CAN ASK AGAIN.  
TG: fuck id suck over you  
TG: get my mouth so fucking wet  
TG: messy and sloppy  
TG: nngh fkfj id  
TG: id lick at your slit with your head in my mouth  
TG: then just jfucking take you all the way down  
TG: really slow  
CG: GODD  
CG: YYES  
TG: justt fucking  
TG: sit there  
TG: dick in  
TG: and swallow  
TG: make you feel me arounnd you  
TG: around tour dick  
TG: drooling on it  
TG: strugglging to breathe  
CG: I START THRUSTING MY COCK INTO YOUR MOUTH  
CG: FUCKING MYSELF ON YOUR THROAT  
CG: GOT YOU PINNED INTO THE CORNER OF THE SHOWER ON YOUR KNEES  
CG: CAN’T GO ANYWHERE BUT TAKE MY COCK INTO YOUR MOUTH AND DOWN YOUR THROAT  
CG: AGAIN AND AGAIN  
CG: MOUTH IS SO SOFT AND WET AROUND ME  
CG: THROAT SO HOT AND TIGHT  
CG: DRIVING ME CRAZY  
TG: hhgnj fuck  
TG: karkat  
TG: fucking use me  
TG: you cany see it baby but my hips are fucking up off the bed i wanna touch so bad  
CG: NOT YET.  
CG: I STILL HAVEN’T CUM YET.  
TG: knhmmnnnnhnnn  
TG: babyyy  
TG: fuckk  
TG: hhhhhhhhhhhhhfhfh  
TG: okat  
CG: GONNA KEEP FUCKING MYSELF INTO YOUR MOUTH UNTIL I DO.  
TG: hhhhhhhhh yes  
TG: ill swalloow you down soo fucking goodf  
TG: ovver and ovver  
CG: GOT THOSE FINGERS IN YOUR MOUTH?  
TG: want you to um karkat  
TG: mmmhm  
CG: MY BOXERS PRESSED TO YOUR FACE? BREATHING ME IN DEEP?  
TG: all threem of hrm  
TG: mmmmhmmm  
TG: so fuckingh ghoood  
TG: hhhhhhhhhbbhb  
CG: GOOD BOY.  
TG: j&j  
TG: bmgmmmv babby  
CG: STAY JUST LIKE THAT UNTIL I FINISH.  
TG: hhhhhhhhhhhjok  
TG: illl stooy  
TG: stay  
TG: waabnna cumm karkat wanna cumm fivm  
TG: hhjjhhhhhh pllwase  
TG: i cant  
CG: FUCKING MYS S ELF HARD INTO MY HAND  
CG: WISHING IT WAS YOUR MOUTH  
TG: wany it tio be mt mouth  
CG: FUCKI NG CLOSE BAB Y SO CLOSE E  
TG: wannt you herevbaby  
TG: lovebyou  
TG: love you so mnuch  
TG: hhhhhhnnhfh  
CG: I’M R IG HT THEREE BABY  
TG: bbbayb i cant im gonna imcum i  
TG: pleasee  
CG: CALL ME DADDYY.  
TG: dadddy please  
TG: pleaaec dadduy gonnad  
TG: wanna bt good  
TG: pllease kemme  
TG: lrmmencum lemme  
TG: daddy  
TG: imm not touchinbg im being soo googd pllreas  
TG: ploeaw  
CG: FU CKKKK  
TG: smellinf you daddy  
TG: hhhnh  
TG: wannt  
TG: daddy pleaaf  
CG: [Video Sent: A short, very shaky clip of Karkat jerking his cock. Hard to tell in the steam but his cock twitches, and shoots out a streak of cum that hits the wet tile. Karkat’s soft groans can be heard in the background.]  
TG: wannns taste youb do bad  
TG: dadsy please please plreas can u  
TG: i wannad cum i wasnt plurea  
TG: not tioucjkng  
CG: NOT YET.  
TG: nonoooooononon pluease  
TG: pllesse daddty  
CG: LET ME DRY OFF AND GO BACK TO BED FIRST.  
CG: IT’LL GIVE YOU TIME TO RELAX.  
TG: [Video: its a shot down of Dave’s body, his cock jutting out, freed from the sweater. Dave is moaning and begging as he twists back and forth, legs rubbing, hips trying to jerk up in search of sensation. It would be the easiest thing in the world to just turn over and hump against the bed, but as Dave makes muffled noises that sound like someone saying _’please daddy’_ over and over again with cloth in their mouth, he never does, never letting himself touch or give his deeply flushed cock any touch.]  
CG: GOOD, BABY.  
CG: ALMOST DONE.  
CG: DOING SO WELL.  
TG: hhhhhhhn  
TG: daddy pplose  
CG: JUST TOWELLING MY HAIR OFF.  
TG: hhh  
CG: I TOLD YOU TO WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE.  
TG: iknowin  
TG: tryimg to be good  
TG: wanns be goosd  
CG: ALL DRESSED NOW.  
TG: dsddy  
CG: HEADED BACK TO THE COUCH.  
TG: wanns cum  
TG: dont  
TG: uhhh  
TG: hhhhh pllesse  
TG: dont. letmme  
CG: DON’T WHAT?  
TG: sontn lemme dwanna be good wanna  
TG: wannnn be good foro you  
CG: I KNOW, BABY.  
TG: dontf fmmf lemme cumm  
TG: nono no lemme cum i imdonno  
TG: hhhhhhhbfj

  
Karkat steps out onto the small balcony and leans against the railing, looking out over the city lights.

He brings up Dave’s number, and hits call, slowly bringing the phone up to his ear as it starts to ring.

  
  


  
  


Dave picks up on the second ring with a wet, desperate gasp. " _Daddy, daddy- daddy please- don’t wanna cum don’t- godddd_ _**d** _ , ahh, hahhh, wanna be good don’t wanna cum but I _wanna cum_ daddy, please please what do I- What do I-" his voice _tears_ off into a desperate whine.

  
  


  
“Shhh,” Karkat hushes gently, making his voice as soft and as low as it will go.

Part of it is because he has to be quiet. Even though he knows Jade sleeps like the dead.

Most of it is trying to do his best Mads Mikkleson impression. Which is just Karkat talking in a whisper and not really trying to sound much like him at all, but the _vibe_ is still there. Or at least he hopes it comes across.

“Deep breaths, baby, just relax.” Karkat breathes slowly, in and out, encouraging Dave to match his breaths.

  
  


  
Dave gives a desperate whine, shaky and uncertain, but then his breathing is audible, heavy and ragged as he tries to match Karkat’s breathing.

“Please.” He gasps, sounding desperate and drunk on need. “Daddy… _please_.”

  
  


  
“What’s the matter, baby?” Karkat asks softly, “Thought you could cum without being touched.”

  
  


  
“I-I-” Dave sucks in a heaving breath, a little warbling noise in his throat as he does so. “D-don’t wanna cum-” he manages, “wanna cum _so bad_ but don’t- _don’t_ wanna cum, wanna be- be good-”

  
  


  
“You _have_ been good, sweetheart,” Karkat croons gently, “Been so good, waiting patiently for me to finish. Been such a good boy. I’m ready to help you get there now, if that’s what you want, baby. You made me feel real good, so I wanna return the favour.”

  
  


  
Dave _moans_ at being called good.

“Hhhnnnhnh- I- I don’t _know_ , daddy-” Dave sounds _desperate_ , his voice quivering. “I don’t-” he breaks off into a whine before a tiny, shameful sentence slides from him, " _be mean to me, daddy._ "

  
  


  
Karkat hands grips to the fucking railing _tight_ as the beast _growls_ deep inside his belly.

He just came, not even five fucking minutes ago, but _that_ got his cock’s attention. Karkat feels it give a feeble, but still valiant, twitch from insides his pajamas.

Karkat closes his eyes and breathes _deep_ in and out of his nose. Then he opens his eyes.

“Did you get your fingers good and wet, baby?” Karkat whispers, “I sure hope so.”

He pauses, listening to Dave’s ragged breath as he _waits_ to be told what to do. Karkat’s blood boils over.

“ _Fuck yourself on them_ ,” he practically _growls_ out, “All three you had in that pretty mouth of yours, shove them deep inside of you. _Now_.”

  
  


  
Dave whines in desperation but there’s a moment where the sound of shifting is audible, then he gives a rough, choked off moan.

“Nng- hhahhh- hah, hah- daddy, hah- fuck it feels _good_ , daddy- hurts so fucking good, not cumming, not cumming but im close, _daddy_ don’t lemme cum-”

  
  


  
“Squeeze the base of your cock for me, baby boy,” Karkat purrs out, “Don’t let yourself cum. Not until I think _you’re good and ready to_. Understand?”

  
  


  
" _Thank_ you, thank you-" Dave gasps in relief. “Nnnhn, hh- aah, hah- hah- fuu _ck_ , _hhng_ \- hah- not cumming, daddy-” he moans, loud and desperate, “want _you_ here, want you touching me-”

  
  


  
“Shhh, shhh, I am, baby, I’m right there,” Karkat whispers, “Just gotta use your imagination, that’s all. Close your eyes. You can smell me all around you, can’t you? And you’re so _full_ of me right now, aren’t you? I’m fucking into you, deep and _rough_ , love all the sounds you make for me—so _pretty_ —only makes me wanna fuck you even _rougher_ —“

  
  


  
"Hhhh _hhh-_ " Dave whines through his teeth. “yes- _daddy_ \- you’re filling me up, making me feel so _good_ , making me wanna cum, hhah- wanna- hhhh-” He moans, loud shifting noises audible as he writhes on the bed, writhes on his fingers. "fucking me so _good_ daddy only you, only you make me feel this _go-ooh-ood_ \- hah- da _DDY-_ " Dave yelps in shocked pleasure, "nonono- gonna- _cum daddy help-_ "

  
  


  
“Squeeze your cock _hard_ , baby, don’t you fucking cum, yet,” Karkat says through his teeth, “Daddy’s got you, imagine it’s my hand coming from behind to wrap around your cock and squeeze it tight, I _won’t let you cum_ . Not until you’re begging me for it. And even then I might decide you can still go for _more_ . Your daddy’s little slut, right, baby? So crazy for daddy’s smell, for my cock, for my _cum_.”

Karkat’s still soft but he’s _groaning_ anyway, palming his cock and balls through his pants, practically rutting against the railing as he growls low into the phone.

“Keep telling me how good I fuck you, baby. Only _I’ve_ ever made you feel this good, I’m the only one who gets to have you like _this_ , you’re _all mine_.”

  
  


  
Dave is gasping, a sob beaking from him as he manages to hold back. " _Yes, daddy_ , yes- thank you- thank you its so _much_ I’m- I’m-" he warbles a desperate noise, “I’m not cumming, I’m not- hhah- hh you feel so _good_ daddy, your cock fills me up- nnngn, hah- not letting me cum so you- hhhah- you can _use_ me, just yours, _yours_ daddy I’m all yours- nnhnnnnh- your slut, _your slut_ , smelling you, smelling you so good, daddy- it hurts so _good_ wanna cum, dad _dy_ \- please please- hhhhh _hhnhhh_ \- you’re so much- fucking me _good_ so good, so deep, I’m _yours yours yours_ _**daddy-** _ only yours, p _lease_ daddy- lemme _down_ daddy its so much-” Dave sobs.

  
  


  
“ _Nnnngh_ —god, fucking _shit_ —already came and I still haven’t had enough of you yet, baby,” Karkat groans as he grinds up against his hand.

He yanks his hand away to steady himself on the railing, gasping for breath.

“You wanna cum now, baby? I’m ready to hear you scream for me,” Karkat rasps, “But I got one last favour I want you to do for me, just one more thing that’ll prove you’re good and get to cum, okay?”

  
  


  
“Mmhmm anything- anything _anything_ daddy I’m ready- ohh- _hhhhh_ fuck, daddy-” Dave babbles.

  
  


  
“I’m gonna tell you _exactly_ how I want you to cum. I want you cumming just from the _smell_ of me,” Karkat whispers roughly, “Want you— _hah_ —to turn yourself over and grind your cock into the sheets. Not allowed to jerk yourself off, just hump the sheets like a bitch in heat while you fuck yourself on your fingers. And when you cum, _say my name_ . Everything is _Karkat_ , it’s all you fucking know, it’s the only thing that matters.”

Karkat starts to rub at his cock again, and isn’t too surprised to feel it’s slightly hard from all this intensity—doesn’t matter that he _just came_ , this is all too fucking _hot_ , his brain is on fire—

“Keep saying how good I fuck you, how there’s nobody else for you but _me_ , I’m the only one, you’re all fucking mine, _nobody else’s_ —come on, baby, _cum for me_ , come on—“

  
  


  
“Oh, _daddy-_ thank you, thank you-” Dave _sobs_ and the sound of him rolling over is audible, following by the shifting of the mattress as he starts to hump into the bed. “Hhn, yesyes _yes_ \- _yours_ , yours _yours_ only you only _you_ daddy, ahh-hhhhhahhh- _hhhah-_ _karkAT-_ ” Dave’s next noises are muffled, pressing his face to Karkat’s pillow as he _sobs_ through a wail, gasping and loud, even as he tries to quiet himself.

  
  


  
“ _Don’t fucking quiet yourself!_ ” Karkat has to bite back the _shout_ that wants to break forth, as a searing heat _roars_ in his chest, “Want you _screaming_ my fucking name, baby, come on, come _ON_ —!”

  
  


  
" _Karkat_ -" Dave _wails_ , unrestrained, unmuffled, “Gonna cum gonnacum Karkat- I’m I’M-” A _shriek_ tears through him, " _KARKAT-_ PLEASE- LEMME-"

  
  


  
“That’s it, _YES_ , god, yes—fuck, Dave, _baby_ , you can cum— _Dave_ —hahh— _cum for me_!”

Karkat’s hips jerk forward involuntary and he _grabs_ at his cock through his pants, stifling a groan.

  
  


  
A loud, desperate _keen_ is the only thing that comes through the phone, sobbing and helpless, accompanied by the sound of skin on sheets, the shifting of a mattress as Dave grinds against it, grinds and _sobs_ as he cums.

  
  


  
Karkat’s legs buckle beneath him and he stumbles, lowering himself to a crouch, one shaky hand gripping onto the railing for dear life as he gasps for air like he’d just run a mile.

Or like he’d just been home, back in Chicago, fucking Dave into the sheets himself, _pulling_ his orgasm from him, slow and torturously.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Karkat gasps, “Holy fuck— _fuck_!”

  
  


  
Dave’s noises are weak and wet as he whines softly, before gasping out a " _Karkat-_ I’m _yours_ -"

  
  


  
Karkat bites his lip. “That’s right, baby,” he whispers, “you’re mine.”

Karkat lets go of the railing and twists himself around, plopping down onto the concrete and leaning his back against the iron bars, still panting roughly.

“God, _Dave_ ,” he groans, “you did fucking _amazing_ , baby. So, so good. God _damn_. Christ, you’re so fucking sexy…”

  
  


  
Dave makes a soft, happy noise, a tiny little moan at being called _good_. “Don’t think I can move, daddy.” He mumbles. “You fucked me out.”

  
  


  
Karkat chuckles weakly. “ _Good_ ,” he says, “Did my fuckin’ job right, then.”

Karkat leans his head back on the bars, closing his eyes for a moment as his breathing finally starts to settle. He opens his eyes and looks up at…well, there’s too much fucking smog and haze to see any stars, but he looks up at the sky nonetheless.

“Wish I was there with you so much right now, sweetheart.” Karkat says softly, “I’d rub up and down your back, kiss you all over, run my fingers through your hair…wasn’t too rough with you, was I?”

  
  


  
“Mm-mm.” Dave makes a little noise of disagreement. “Was good.” He breathes out a shaky, shuddering noise. “Can feel you kissing me, daddy.” He sounds halfway to unconciousness. “Feels good. Love you so much…”

  
  


Karkat pushes himself up to his feet with a soft grunt, and opens to the door to quietly slip back inside.

Sounds like Dave is ready to conk out soon, so he may as well get back in bed himself. Karkat gets back under the covers on the couch and leans back with a sigh, rolling onto his side and putting the phone beside his head. He puts it on speaker-phone at low volume.

“I love you, too.” Karkat whispers, “I’m right there beside you, baby. Rubbing little circles into the small of your back. Must be sore, baby. Did _so_ good for me, listened to everything I said. Asked for things for yourself _without me asking you to_. Fucking incredible. I’m so proud of you, babe.”

Karkat tucks his elbow under his arm and looks at Dave’s name and picture on his phone screen with a sleepy smile.

“And you _still_ came without putting your hands on yourself,” Karkat murmurs in disbelief, “So fucking amazing. You’re so good, Dave, so incredibly good.”

  
  


  
Dave makes tiny little noises in response to Karkat’s words- little happy noises, _mm-hmm_ s of agreement at being sore, at listening, pleased sounds at being told he’s good.

“Love you so much.” He whispers. “So much, daddy.” A slow, shaky breath. “You can be meaner to me next time. I liked it.”

  
  


  
Karkat laughs, soft and weak and sleepy.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he says, “Hey, babe. Can you call me Karkat again, please? Daddy stuff is done for now, baby, I was Karkat again when you came, remember?”

  
  


  
“Right.” Dave sighs softly, and there’s the sound of the phone being grabbed, then his voice is a little bit clearer. “Sorry Karkat. Forgot.”

  
  


  
“S’okay, D.” Karkat says, closing his eyes. “Like hearing it. But like hearing y’ say my name even more.”

  
  


  
“Mm. Love you, Karkat.” Dave mumbles. “So lucky to have you.”

  
  


  
Karkat hums in his throat, low and content. “M’ the lucky one,” he mumbles, “Love you more, Dave.”

  
  


  
There’s no response from Dave except for the soft noises of his breathing.

  
  


  
Karkat blinks open one eye when Dave doesn’t respond, and then smirks lazily and knowingly at his phone.

“Sleep tight, D.” he whispers.

Karkat doesn’t hit the end call button. Just turns his phone over so the room is cast in darkness, but he can still hear Dave’s gentle breath coming from the speakers.

Karkat’s never wanted to kiss him more. It’s the last thought that runs through his mind before his eyes flutter closed again, and he falls asleep.

  
  


  
  


Karkat wakes up the next morning and stumbles into the kitchen to see Jade frying up eggs and making French toast. She’s also put on a pot of coffee.

“I could kiss you,” Karkat says.

“You have morning breath,” says Jade. “And a fiancé.”

Both fair arguments. But Karkat’s still pretty tempted when he takes his first sip. Holy _shit_ , Jade makes good coffee.

“Now you have _coffee_ breath!” Jade cries, shoving a plate of eggs and French toast into his hands and shooing him away to the dining table. “Go make out with a picture of Dave on your phone if you miss kissing so much!”

“Don’t tempt me,” Karkat says through a mouthful of eggs.

The two of them have breakfast, then Jade has a shower while Karkat checks Pesterchum. There are…several new messages from Sollux. 108 notifications. His quirk is all over the fucking place and he smashes his keyboard a few times.

Karkat sips his second cup of coffee as he reads through the increasingly irate messages, a neutral expression on his face.

carcinoGeneticist  has blocked  twinArmageddons!

TA: oh FUCK you kk

carcinoGeneticist  is no longer receiving messages from  twinArmageddons!

Karkat closes Sollux’s Pesterchum window, and opens up a new window for Feferi, and begins to type.

CG: HEY. IT’S KARKAT.  
CG: JADE AND I WERE THINKING ABOUT EXPLORING THE CITY TONIGHT, IF YOU WANTED TO MEET UP.  
CG: WE’RE PROBABLY GOING TO SPEND MOST OF THE DAY WORKING ON MUSIC, SO IT WON’T BE UNTIL THIS EVENING.  
CG: LET ME KNOW IF YOU’RE FREE. THANKS.  


Karkat finishes off his coffee, and closes his laptop. Once Jade finishes her shower, she joins Karkat in the living room and goes right on her laptop, back into composing mode. Jade gets in the zone when working on music, so Karkat goes over his notes for the song so far and comes up with a few more lyrics. Then, his phone goes off with a new message from Feferi.

  
CC: O)( my GOS)( Y-ES I will absolutely be available tonig)(t t)(ere are so many places I can t)(ink to take you!!!  
CC: W)(at kind of stuff would you be down for doing?  
CC: We could )(it up t)(e nig)(t scene or go for somet)(ing a little more low key and tourist-y!  
CC: W)(atever you’re feeling is great!

  
  


Karkat looks over his laptop and up at Jade.

“Hey, Harls,” he says.

Jade is staring at the screen, her glasses reflecting the glow. She doesn’t seem to have heard him.

“Harley.”

No response.

Karkat rolls his eyes and scoffs, but he’s smirking. He grabs a small pillow and tosses it across the room, beaning Jade in the side of the head.

Jade finally jolts upright and looks over at Karkat, her eyes wide.

“Sorry!” she cries, twisting away from her desk to face Karkat fully, giving him her full attention now. “What’s up??”

“Feferi got back to me about plans for tonight,” Karkat says, “She was wondering if we want to do something low key and touristy or hit up the night scene.”

Jade leans back in her chair and taps a finger to her chin. “Well,” she says slowly, thinking on it, “You and I have all week to check out touristy stuff. And it’s been forever since I’ve been able to go to a party! I’ve been sooo busy with school.”

Jade perks up like a dog that just heard a rabbit run across the yard, and leaps to her feet. “Oh my gosh! I just remembered! I bought the _perfect_ dress for clubbing and I’ve been waiting for a chance to wear it!!”

Jade is bouncing on the balls of her feet and grinning at Karkat. Karkat stares at her for a long moment.

“…Are you waiting for me to ask you to go get it so you can show me?” he asks dryly.

“No it’s a surprise!” Jade chirps, “I’m waiting for you to hurry the fuck up and tell Feferi we are _so down_!”

Karkat sighs. _Clubbing_? Ugh. He was going to have to get so drunk if he didn’t want to bum the girl’s out by being a wall flower. The only things that made him slightly more approachable for shit like that was either having Dave with him, or liquid courage. And since one was clearly more readily available at the moment, it looked like Karkat had a date with a tequila shot or two. Or seven. He looks back down at his laptop and types out a response to Feferi.

  
  


CG: JADE AND I ARE GOING TO ACT LIKE DISGUSTING TOURISTS THE REST OF THE WEEK.  
CG: SO TONIGHT WE’RE DOWN TO CHECK OUT SOME CLUBS OR WHATEVER WITH YOU.  
CG: I’LL JUST START PRE-DRINKING NOW SO THAT I AM PLEASANT AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO PEEL ME OFF THE WALL.  
CC: )(-E)(-E sounds like a s)(ell of a time to me! I’ll be seaing you soon t)(en!  
CC: Don’t get TOO drunk t)(oug)( because I would )(ate to )(ave to tell Dave alllllll about your -EMBARRASSING nig)(t out on t)(e town 38)  
CG: HE’S SEEN ME AFTER TWO BOTTLES OF WINE.  
CG: THERE ARE NO SECRETS BETWEEN US.  
CG: DO YOUR WORST.  
CC: )(ee )(ee I suppose we s)(ell sea about t)(at!!! Sea you soon, Karkat  


  
  


Karkat looks up at Jade. She is still staring at him, green eyes wide and expectant.

“We’re on for tonight.” he announces.

Jade throws her hands into the air and jumps. “Yaaaay! Oooh, I can’t wait! This is gonna be _so_ much fun!”

Karkat closes his laptop and sets it off to the side as Jade giggles and practically vibrates in front of him with excitement.

“We’ve got the day to kill before we meet up with Feferi,” Karkat says, “How’s the music coming along?”

Jade sits back down in her chair, still beaming. “Well, I had a dream last night after all! I knew I would,” she giggles, “And you were in it! And so was Dave. You both looked like you were underwater…and you were in different parts of the ocean. The water was all murky, you were right across from each other but you couldn’t see! And Dave was caught in a bunch of fishing line, but a mermaid came over and rescued him. She cut him free of the ropes and gave him a beautiful bright red tail so he could swim too!”

Jade leans forward intently, her grin growing wider as she continues to describe her dream.

“So Dave starts to swim! And the water is still so murky, he doesn’t know where he’s going, he doesn’t know which way is up.” Her face gets sad for a moment, “Sometimes he thought about turning back…but he didn’t know the way anymore. So he keeps going, even though he’s scared and confused and sad.” Then her face perks up again. “And then, suddenly, there _you_ are! He _sees_ you, and you see him, and you swim to each other. You get to each other, you kiss, and the water becomes clear! You can see the ocean floor and all the pretty colours of the coral, the beautiful blue of the ocean, the light reflecting through the water…”

Jade’s mouth pops open suddenly as she finally notices the look on Karkat’s face. “Aww! Karkaaat, don’t cry! It was a good dream!”

Karkat scrubs at his eyes quickly, feeling his cheeks flush. “Fuck you.”

Jade gets up from her chair and hurries over to Karkat, sitting down next to him on the couch and running her fingers through his hair. Karkat’s shoulders go slack as he sighs softly. Fuck. Not even two whole days and he’s already touch-starved to hell and back.

“You and Dave have a really amazing story, Karkat,” Jade says softly, “And it deserves to be told just as much as all the sadness you felt. The darkness is part of the story, too. You wrote all those sad songs because it was one of the only things that helped the pain you felt from losing Dave. But now that you two found each other again…well, it only makes sense to write songs that show how happy you are now! It was a good dream; the story has a happy ending. So let’s tell it, okay?”

Karkat lets out a shaky breath. Dave always told him how mind-boggling it was that Karkat could just say whatever he was thinking so blatant and openly. Well, he’d learned it from the best of them all, and she was sitting here beside him. And she was still the best.

“Yeah,” he says, sniffling, “Let’s do it.”

Jade smiles. She leans in and pecks Karkat quick on the cheek, then bounces up from the couch again and goes over to grab her laptop. She brings it back to the couch and looks over to Karkat.

“Let me show you what I have so far!”

  
  


—

  
  


  
Jade and Karkat spend the rest of the morning and afternoon working on music. Jade starts recording herself playing a few instruments and has Karkat record a few lines. They take a break for lunch; Jade makes them two giant bowls of garden salad.

They’re sitting on the couch eating while they watch a movie, and Karkat pulls out his phone to message Dave. Dave’s been in class most of the day, but after checking the time (and then adding two hours for Chicago time) Karkat figures Dave is probably finished with class for the day and free to chat. He open Dave’s Pesterchum window and starts to type one-handed while he shovels another forkful of salad into his mouth.

  
  


CG: HEY, BABE.  
CG: HOW WAS CLASS?  
TG: i think you might be onto something because i have not been more focused holy shit  
TG: laser fucking focus today  
TG: i dont know if its the power of nutting so hard i pass out or if its the anticipation of you being proud of me hanging over my shoulders but it felt real fucking good  
TG: wow that was a gay as hell sentence  
CG: JESUS CHRIST. WE DID IT BABE.  
CG: WE CURED YOU OF ADHD.  
CG: IT IS A MIRACLE.  
TG: somebody call the fucking press  
TG: turns out adhd just needs a really good orgasm and youre cured  
CG: I CAN SEE THE HEADLINES NOW.  
CG: WHO NEEDS ADDERALL WHEN YOU CAN HAVE TWO MIND-BLOWING ORGASMS A DAY.  
TG: maybe more  
CG: PEOPLE WILL SAVE MILLIONS.  
TG: think of how the sex industry will bloom  
CG: WELL SO FAR THAT’S THE RECORD.  
CG: BUT I INTEND TO BEAT IT.  
TG: hell yes  
TG: my body is so fucking ready karkat you have no idea  
CG: I PROBABLY WON’T BE ABLE TO “TALK” UNTIL LATER TONIGHT THOUGH.  
CG: JUST A HEADS UP.  
CG: FEFERI IS TAKING ME AND JADE OUT TO “CHECK OUT THE NIGHT SCENE” TONIGHT.  
CG: HER WORDS NOT MINE.  
TG: haha okay have fun  
TG: dont let her rope you into too much crazy shit  
CG: I PREFER TO CALL IT “FORCING KARKAT INTO SOCIAL INTERACTIONS HIS INTROVERTED ASS CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE”  
TG: aw babe  
TG: itll be good for you  
TG: have fun with some friends  
CG: I KNOW I KNOW.  
CG: I ALREADY TOLD FEFERI SHE’S GONNA HAVE TO GET ME DRUNK IF SHE WANTS ME TO DO ANYTHING THAT ISN’T WEDGING MYSELF INTO THE DARKEST CORNER OF THE ROOM AND SIPPING ON A VODKA COOLER.  
TG: hehe better make sure she takes some videos too  
CG: GOD.  
CG: THEY CAN’T POSSIBLY BE MORE INCRIMINATING THAN THE ONES YOU ALREADY HAVE.  
CG: BUT I’M SURE SHE ISN’T GOING TO PULL HER PUNCHES.  
CG: IT’S THE SWEET ONES YOU ALWAYS GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR.  
TG: im so fucking ready to hear all about your night of debauchery  
TG: fef is absolutely going to get you to do some wild shit im sure of it  
CG: CARE TO GIVE ME A PREVIEW OF WHAT THE FUCK I’M IN FOR TONIGHT?  
CG: DON’T DO ME DIRTY, DAVE.  
CG: I CURED YOUR ADHD.  
TG: hehehe i almost wonder if i shouldnt say anything  
TG: i dont want to undercut your expectations  
TG: okay that is true  
TG: hmm  
TG: okay one time feferi deadass got like  
TG: the most stuck up of doms  
TG: to strip down to his underwear and jump into a neighbors pool in front of god and everyone  
TG: and this is the kind of guy who literally would not show any skin ever except for his face and hands unless he had to  
CG: HUH.  
CG: SHE DOES HAVE A WAY OF BRINGING OUT SIDES OF PEOPLE THAT ARE OTHERWISE BURIED DEEP WITHIN.  
TG: in more ways than one  
TG: haha  
CG: THAT WAS AN INNUENDO WASN’T IT.  
TG: perhaps  
TG: winky face and all that  
CG: I ASSUMED YOU AND FEFERI DID SOME SHIT BUT I DID NOT NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT.  
CG: YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING VIVID MY IMAGINATION IS.  
TG: you know i was not thinking about that at all  
TG: but thats my bad probably should have realized the immediate association would be me and her doing stuff  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE IT WAS, DUDE.  
CG: THAT’S THE UNIVERSAL MEANING OF THE WINKY FACE.  
TG: you know what i am just going to gracefully accept my mistake and say  
CG: LACK OF USE OF THE ACTUAL EMOJI NOTWITHSTANDING.  
TG: from the bottom of my heart  
TG: my bad  
CG: IT’S COOL.  
CG: I’M “SHORE” SHE IS GONNA GET TIPSY AND PROVIDE ALL THE DIRTY DETAILS ANYWAY.  
CG: SO I’M PRETTY MUCH DAMNED IF I DO AND DAMNED IF I DON’T.  
TG: i suppose thats true  
CG: OH I’M AN IDIOT.  
CG: THE INNUENDO WAS DIRECTED TOWARDS ME.  
CG: JESUS.  
TG: yeah haha  
TG: no big deal though  
TG: i see how it was easy to like  
TG: misunderstand  
TG: wordplay be tripping sometimes  
CG: FUCK MIS-INTERPRETATIVE TEXT COMMUNICATION SO MUCH.  
CG: TALKING IN PERSON IS CLEARLY SUPERIOR.  
CG: WITH YOU, ANYWAY.  
CG: FUCK LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.  
TG: mehhhhhh its whatever babe dont get stressed about it  
TG: anyway  
TG: night out on the town  
TG: hope youre ready for wild shit  
CG: UGH.  
CG: NO.  
TG: hahaha  
CG: BUT IT’S JUST ONE NIGHT. AND ME AND JADE HAVE JUST BEEN HOLED UP IN HER APARTMENT SINCE I GOT HERE, SO IT’LL BE GOOD TO GET OUT FOR A BIT I GUESS.  
CG: SEE, LOOK AT ME GO. LOOKING FOR THE POSITIVES AND SHIT.  
TG: there you go babe see it wont be all bad  
TG: or any bad hopefully  
CG: YOU’LL BE THE FIRST TO HEAR ABOUT IT, IN EITHER CASE.  
CG: FEFERI IS MESSAGING US WITH AN ADDRESS TO MEET UP WITH HER AT, SO JADE AND I ARE GONNA START GETTING READY SOON.  
CG: GOT ANY PLANS FOR THE EVENING?  
TG: not really  
TG: well  
TG: maybe  
TG: sollux is bitching at me about you fucking his computer up  
TG: and complaining about how he has nothing to do now  
CG: HAHAHAHAHA.  
TG: i think johns about ready to shove him out the window  
TG: so im sure well think of something to shut him up  
CG: POOR BABY.  
CG: OH, WOW. IT MUST BE BAD IF IT’S MAKING JOHN CONSIDER VIOLENCE.  
CG: EXCELLENT.  
TG: its pretty bad dude  
TG: hes taken to lying on the couch and sighing dramatically and then either time john or i come out of our rooms he starts complaining  
TG: no hesitation  
CG: WHAT A FUCKING TURD.  
CG: THIS IS AMAZING.  
TG: i know right i cant believe youre friends with this guy  
TG: i cant believe that like  
TG: im  
TG: friends with him  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CAN STAND TO LIVE WITH HIM.  
CG: EVEN PART-TIME, AT THIS RATE.  
TG: hahahaha i know right  
TG: usually not that bad though  
TG: but its whatever i guess johnll figure something out or just defenestrate him  
CG: YEAH. HE’S PROBABLY EVEN MORE INSUFFERABLE NOW THAT HIS COMPUTER KEEPS BRINGING UP A POP-UP OF NIC CAGE’S FACE WITH A SOUND CLIP OF HIM SAYING “BONER” EVERY TIME HE TRIES TO ACCOMPLISH THE SIMPLEST OF TASKS.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: so thats what he fucking meant  
TG: dudes been bitching on the couch about the unholy marriage between mine and john senses of humor and how hes been so fucking betrayed  
TG: and how could it have taken a hold of you  
CG: THAT’S HOW WE DO AT GENESIS INCORPORATED, BITCH.  
CG: WELL, WE’RE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING RID OF THE VIRUSES.  
CG: BUT PART OF KNOWING HOW TO GET RID OF THEM IS KNOWING HOW THEY STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.  
CG: AND WITH A LITTLE BIT OF CODE, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.  
TG: youre so fucking smart babe  
CG: THE REAL CHERRY ON TOP IS THE FIRST PERSON TO TEACH ME ABOUT CODING WAS SOLLUX.  
CG: HE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS OWN DOWNFALL.  
TG: the true trojan horse was friendship all along  
CG: WE’LL SEE IF HE FUCKS WITH MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN.  
CG: I’M SURE HE’LL ADMIT DEFEAT SOON ENOUGH AND JUST WAIT FOR ME TO COME HOME AND FIX IT FOR HIM.  
CG: AND UNTIL THEN.  
CG: EH. HE’LL BURN HIMSELF OUT OF HIS FUCKING PISSBABY TANTRUM EVENTUALLY AND GET BORED OF BEING ANNOYED AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO BE ANNOYED AT.  
TG: undoubtedly  
TG: the dudes like  
TG: actually i wonder if sollux has ever gotten tested for adhd  
TG: hes like in need of constant stimulation  
TG: food for thought or whatever  
TG: but yeah im sure hell come up with something  
CG: HE’S ON SOME KIND OF FUCKING SPECTRUM THAT’S FOR SURE.  
TG: true that  
CG: OKAY, JADE IS GETTING ANSTY NOW.  
TG: haha okay okay go have fun  
CG: IF I TELL HER IN A BABY VOICE “YOU WANNA GO FOR A WALK, GIRL??” DO YOU THINK SHE’D KICK ME IN THE NUTS?  
CG: I DON’T THINK I WANT TO RISK IT.  
TG: are you kidding me  
TG: she absolutely would  
TG: cant her thighs like  
CG: SHE’S GOT LEGS LIKE TREE TRUNKS.  
TG: crush watermelons yeah  
TG: please dont break my fiances dick im very fond of it  
TG: whoops now im thinking about your dick again god dammit  
TG: time to go lie down for a fucking hour and wait for my boner to go down  
CG: IT ALWAYS CIRCLES BACKS TO DICKS WITH US, IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER.  
TG: and thats just on poetic cinema  
CG: NO TOUCHING.  
TG: i know  
TG: im not i promise  
CG: GOOD.  
TG: h  
TG: thats not helping  
CG: WHOOPS. SHIT.  
CG: MY BAD.  
TG: no its good  
TG: but just  
TG: argh  
CG: THINK ABOUT JOHN MAKING OUT WITH SOLLUX’S COMPUTER MONITOR AS IT SERENADES HIM WITH THE WORD “BONER” IN NIC CAGE’S MONOTONOUS TONES.  
TG: boner gone  
TG: thank you  
CG: YOU’RE WELCOME, BABE.  
CG: GLAD I COULD HELP.  
CG: OKAY GODDAMMIT HARLEY IS RUMMAGING THROUGH MY SUITCASE NOW TO SEE IF I PACKED ANY “CLUBBING OUTFITS”.  
CG: SPOILER ALERT, OF FUCKING COURSE I DIDN’T.  
CG: BUT I STILL GOTTA GO SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  
TG: hahahaha  
CG: TALK TO YOU LATER TONIGHT.  
TG: for sure  
TG: love you baby  
TG: excited to get your drunken chat  
TG: wonk  
CG: LOVE YOU, TOO.  
CG: SEE YA.  


  
  


“Dammit, Harley, get the fuck out of my shit!” Karkat snaps, chucking his phone aside and going over to pull Jade away from his suitcase. “Jesus, you made a fucking mess! I had it all folded and everything.”

Jade holds up a shirt and scrunches up her nose, clearly ignoring him. “Karkat, don’t you own _anything_ that isn’t some shade of black or gray??”

Karkat snatches the shirt out of Jade’s hands. “Why don’t you go get ready and quit worrying about what I’m gonna fucking look like. I’m gonna look the way I always look.”

Jade pouts. “But that’s no fun, Karkat! Don’t you want me to do something cool to your hair? I could bring out the curls better with some gel and stuff! Come on, pleaaase?”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Karkat snaps, “I’ll just look like I rolled around in bacon grease if you so much as put a drop of anything in my hair.”

“I think I have a few dress shirts that would fit you,” Jade says, “Come on, you’ll be so miserable if you wear these dark colours, even at night! Let me find you something a bit brighter!”

Karkat tosses his shirt back into his now-gutted suitcase, and folds his arms. “I’m not wearing a _girl’s blouse_ , you ass.”

Jade gives him a pointed look. “They’re shirts I wore before I transitioned, you dick.” she says evenly.

Karkat deflates, feeling his face burn with shame. “Oh,” he says, “Sorry.”

Jade gets to her feet and gives Karkat her trademark sweet smile. “It’s okay!” she says, then her face pulls into a cunning smirk, “You can make it up to me by wearing _whatever I pick out for you_.”

Then she trots off to her room without another word, and Karkat groans loudly before turning around and following behind her.

Karkat slinks into Jade’s room, arms crossed tightly as he goes over and flops down on the edge of Jade’s bed. She’s over by her closet, rooting around way in the back.

“Okay, I’ll give you a few options,” she says, turning around with a few hangers slung over her arm.

Jade holds the shirts aloft so Karkat can see the first one in the stack she pulled out.

“Okay, how about this one,” she says, pointing to a short-sleeved v-neck olive green shirt, “I think this colour would look so pretty with your skin tone!”

Karkat pinches his nose. “I’m not wearing a v-neck.”

“It makes your neck look longer!”

“Fuck off, no. Next.”

Jade rolls her eyes. “Fiiiine.”

She drops the hanger unceremoniously to the floor to reveal the next shirt.

“This one will look sooo good with your dark hair!”

Karkat’s eye twitches. “That is fucking _lavender_. Absolutely not.”

Jade narrows her eyes at him. Karkat glares right on back. Jade wordlessly drops the shirt to the floor, showing the next one.

“Okay, okay, okay. What about this?” Jade asks.

“Are you going to wear black and red stripes and carry around a blanket?” Karkat asks tightly, “That way you can be Linus, because holy shit, it’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! I’m not wearing fucking _orange_ , Harley!”

“Oh, come on! It’s not orange! It’s…it’s blood-orange!”

“Do not make me quote the meme at you, don’t make me do it, you’re making it too fucking easy—“

“Fiiiiiine! You big dumb baby!” Jade drops the shirt to the floor to reveal the fourth and final shirt in her hands.

It’s a button-down, but not made of the stiff material of a dress shirt, but a more casual, soft cotton. But not thick enough he’d overheat in it. It was a thin fabric, well-worn—Jade had clearly worn it a lot at one point. The colour had faded over time with wear and washing, so it wasn’t nearly as bright as it probably used to be, but the colour was still maraschino cherry red.

Dave’s favourite colour.

“Well??” Jade asks, exasperated, “What about this one?”

Karkat looks away with a scoff to hopefully hide the colour that flooded to his cheeks.

“That’ll work, I guess.”

Jade hoots with triumph. “Great!”

She stuffs the other shirts back into the closet and drops the red shirt onto Karkat’s lap.

“Go get ready, I’ll be out soon!” Jade says, shooing Karkat from the room.

Karkat goes back to the living room and attempts to put his suitcase back in order. Then he grabs a shower (a real one, last night he hadn’t exactly washed up) and gets changed. He looks at the red shirt in the bathroom mirror, a small pout pulling at his mouth. He tries to imagine it’s Dave’s shirt he’s borrowing, but it’s loose on him and smells like Jade so it’s hard to keep the illusion up.

Jade steps out from her room a few minutes later, and Karkat looks up from where he’s reclined on the couch on his computer. His eyes go wide, and he slowly closes his laptop.

Jade still has her long hair worn down, but she’s managed to tame it into loose waves that run all the way down to the small of her back. She’s wearing a knee-length black dress that is split down the middle, putting her toned legs on full display. The dress is covered in green glitter that shifts in the light and brings out the colour of her eyes. She’s wearing bright ruby-red ballet flats that look innocent and cute next to the dress, but she makes it work somehow.

Jade giggles after a moment, and does a twirl. “What do you think??”

Karkat realizes his mouth is hanging open, so he clamps it shut. He clears his throat roughly and pushes himself off the couch.

“Holy shit.” Is all Karkat can manage.

Jade instantly looks nervous. “It’s too much, isn’t it?”

“No!” Karkat shouts, then he tries again, quieter, “N-No, fuck, you look—shit. Jade, you’re a fucking _knockout_.”

Jade’s worried face instantly brightens, and her cheeks go pink. “Ooh, Mr. Vantas!” she says in a mocking tone, but she’s clearly pleased. “If your _betrothed_ knew you were saying such things—!”

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right, I’ll just go back to calling you an ass.”

Jade sticks out her tongue.

“Well, let’s get going!” Jade says excitedly.

Karkat grabs his phone and wallet, and follows Jade over to the door, where she’s already waiting for him, bouncing excitedly like a dog about to be let outside to chase down a squirrel.

“Alright,” Karkat says with a soft sigh. “Let’s get this over with.”


	6. Chapter 6

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:10pm  


GG: [Image sent: A selfie of Jade, taken in the back seat of a car. She’s only partially in the frame, but her wide grin and one of her green eyes can be made out as she flashes the camera a peace sign. Over her shoulder and in the background, Karkat is sitting in the seat next to her, not looking at the camera. He clearly doesn’t know he’s included in the shot. He’s looking out the car window, his face in its usual neutral frown.]  
GG: i’ll bring him back in one piece!! ❤  
  
TG: i sure hope you will  
TG: ill be mad as shit if he gets returned in less than one piece  
TG: so you better take care of him and not let him hang out in the corner  
TG: did you put him in that shirt though because goddamn he looks sexy  
TG: youve got good taste harley  
TG: get that frown turned upside down and all that  
TG: i know hes been missing me so give him a fun night out on the town  
TG: anyway peace out ill let you guys have fun  


turntechGodhead [TG]  stopped pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]  at 19:42pm

  
  


Dave grins a little as he puts his phone away, looking up. John, having gotten fed up with Sollux’s  _everything_ , had finally snapped and said that if Sollux did not find  _something_ to occupy himself with John  _was_ going to defenestrate him and  _then where would they be_ , to which Sollux said “probably in the hothpital, dipthit” and John threw up his hands and tried not to scream.

Sollux had finally given up moping, though, and pulled out fucking DND like the  _bigass nerd_ that he is, but John and Dave are the ones rolling up characters, so who’s the real fucking nerds here? Well, John apparently is because he is studying the cleric domains really really really carefully as he starts making his character.

They’re level  _four_ , John. Dave is convinced that John is overthinking it. Like- Dave’s rolled up  _two_ characters and John’s barely gotten past his fucking  _class_ , let alone put anything else together.

“Remind me again why I’m letting you play two charactherth?” Sollux asks, flipping through his Dungeon Master’s Handbook.

“Uh, because a party of two is _lameeee_ and also because you love me.” Dave says. “'sides, if I can’t have my boyfriend here to play with me then I’ll have him here in spirit.”

Sollux rolls his eyes. “I thoud jutht kill hith character outright.” He muses. “It would therve him right for fucking up my computer.”

“You _wouldn’t_.” Dave says. “That would be unfair and railroading and I would never play with you again.”

“The horror.” Sollux deadpans.

“You have no one else to play with.” Dave points out.

“AA will play with me.”

“You can’t play DND with two people.”

“Can too.”

“Okay, you can but it’d be _boring as shit_.”

“Should I go life domain or war?” John asks suddenly.

“Life domain is boring and only heals.” Dave says. “Go war, that shit’s cool.”

“But we need healing.” John frowns. “That’s why I’m being a cleric!”

“Pretty sure we won’t need _that much_ healing, dude. Go storm. Be the badass. Use the hammer. Kill anything that moves.”

“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” John agrees, and marks down _war_ as his domain, starting to note down the traits.

Dave idly fucks around with his pencil, looking down at his character sheets. He had rolled up one for himself and one for Karkat. Karkat he had made a half-orc paladin because A) orcs are fucking hot and so is Karkat and b) Karkat is absolutely a paladin, always ready to smack justice down and protect Dave.

The idea makes him grin a little, imagining Karkat in a suit of armor, brandishing a sword. Hot.  _Really_ hot, actually- no wait fuck, don’t go there, don’t think about it, it’s all good, no need to get a boner at the table with his friends.

Allllll good. Just look at Sollux- eyup, boner gone. Phew.

So chaotic good half-orc paladin- fits Karkat to a T. Dave had gone with a tiefling neutral good warlock for himself because he’s gay. John decided on a human (boring) cleric (because they needed a healer) and now is spending wayyyyy too much time looking at the details of shit. Dave has his spells, has his shit, has Karkat’s shit, and is ready to  _play_ .

He busies himself looking at his dice and idly rolling them around in his hands, fucking around and feeling all the different shapes. They’re pretty dice- silver and red and flecked with gold, catching the light beautifully. Dave idly rolls his D4 around, poking the tips into the pads of his fingers, closing his hand around it and squeezing to feel his nerves light up.

Man, Dave misses Karkat so much. He hopes Karkat has fun tonight, but not too much fun- but just enough fun for it to be worth going out but not  _too_ much fun- Dave cuts those thoughts off and drops his D4.

“Are you _done_ yet, you dork?” He drawls.

“Don’t rush me!” John says, flipping through spells. “This could mean the difference between life and death!”

“Thith ith boring _me_ to death and I’m uthually _all about_ over-preparing. Chritht.” Sollux groans.

After one more spell, John closes the book and says, “Okay, ready!” Looking nervous but excited.

" _Finally_ ." Dave stops stacking his dice and straightens up in his chair as Sollux clears his throat.

“Gentlemen, we’ll be running a one-thhot campaign tonight called…” He pauses for dramatic effect,

" _The Twin Cathtles_ ."

  
  


  
  


  
  


By the time Karkat and Jade arrive in Long Beach, the sun has set.

They were right on the water, and the sky was turning a deep shade of indigo with licks of long, wispy fuchsia clouds. It was cooler down by the water, but the humidity was still thick in the air.

Karkat pulls out his phone to let Feferi know they’ve arrived. She tells him to meet her on the boardwalk, to the entrance to the beach. Karkat and Jade walk down the boardwalk until they spot Feferi, who grins when she sees them approaching and runs over.

Karkat is wrapped up in another hug, but he was braced for it this time so it only knocks him back a step when Feferi runs over and practically  _leaps_ into his arms. He quickly introduces Feferi to Jade, and the two of them hug like and giggle like they’ve known each other all their lives. Karkat attempts to leech some of the girl’s bubbly energy into himself so he can keep his resting bitch face under control as they walk onto the beach and down a long dock. It doesn’t seem to work.

There’s a large, long building at the end of the dock, and if it weren’t covered in bright blue, pink, mint green and purple lights Karkat would have thought Feferi was bringing them to a seafood restaurant.

The most notable feature is the gigantic trident sticking out from the roof. The building looks like it was dug up from the ocean floor, it’s covered in aquatic-themed decorations—multi-coloured coral, seashells, starfish…

No wonder Feferi brought them here. This was absolutely, 100% her shit.

They reach the entrance and there is a short line waiting to enter. Karkat looks up at the glowing neon lights that read the name of the club:  _Lair of Poseidon_ .

Karkat holds back a groan.

When they get up to the door, the bouncer looks at Feferi with recognition, then eyes her two tagalongs. A silent conversation seems to pass between the two of them, because the bouncer just looks Karkat and Jade over one last time before looking back at Feferi and lifting the rope.

“Thanks, Equius!” Feferi says brightly as she leads them inside.

As soon as they pass through the doorway, it’s instantly cold, but also  _loud_ . The beat of the music thumps so hard that it feels like Karkat’s heartbeat starts to match it in tempo.

It’s even darker in here than it was outside, the only light comes from the blue glow of gigantic fish tanks that are scattered throughout the room that go from the floor to the ceiling. Jade is babbling away excitedly, but Karkat can’t hear a word she’s saying.

Feferi leads them through the club and all the way to the back of the room, past the largest fish tanks where there’s fucking  _jellyfish_ floating around. They’re bioluminescent under the glowing lights of the club, and shifting colours.

They’re brought into a lounge area separate from the rest of the club, that  _screams_ VIP. There’s plush velvet couches, surrounding a large glass table, which has a giant bowl filled with different coloured goldfish inside. The pulsing beat of the music can still be felt through the walls and floor, but Karkat can actually hear himself think in here.

“This is _so cool_!” Jade cries excitedly. “Is this a private room??”

Feferi reclines onto one of the couches and encourages them to join her. She smiles widely at Jade. “It is! I got it just for us for the rest of the night.” she says.

She claps her hands together, leaning forward on the couch. “Now! Drinks! Let’s get a round ordered!”

They order drinks and Feferi dives right into asking Jade all about her time at Caltech. They trade stories back and forth, and Feferi is good at keeping Karkat involved in the conversation, pulling him in now and again with questions. Eventually Karkat’s able to chime in on his own here and there, but he’s seriously going to need more drinks if he wants his mind to stop racing.

He feels antsy with how out-of-place he feels. Dave told him to have a good time but shit like this just isn’t  _easy_ for Karkat. He’s always been an introverted and anti-social wallflower when it came to this type of thing. It’s nice to be in this lounge, separated from the rest of the club where the music isn’t so loud. But he just can’t shake this feeling of unease, this heavy pit in his stomach.

Karkat knocks back the rest of his drink quickly and Feferi gets them another round.

A few watered-down drinks in, Karkat is starting to feel a bit of a buzz. He’s able to join in on the conversation a bit easier now, and he can almost forget that he’s in some fancy lounge in a nightclub in Long Beach, and rather back on Jade’s couch just shooting the shit. Almost.

The drinks just aren’t really hitting him, and he’s not even sure if he wants them to. He wishes he could shake this feeling—he doesn’t want to bum the girls out by being so miserable. But three’s a crowd, and it just keeps making Karkat all the more aware of the lack of Dave’s presence. He wishes he was sitting on the couch next to him, bumping his knee into Karkat’s with an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

Dave always knew just what to do when Karkat got like this out in loud, public places.

Karkat finishes off the last of his drink, and sets down his empty glass. “I’m gonna go use the washroom.” he announces, getting up out of his chair.

“We were thinking of heading to the dance floor soon,” Feferi says, “Meet us out there when you’re done!”

“Yeah, sure.”

Karkat slips out of the lounge, and his face pulls into a scowl once his head is subjected to the full pounding beat of the music once again. He looks around uselessly for a moment, trying to decide where the bathrooms are, when he spots a sign at the end of the hall pointing the way.

Looks like the washrooms are down in the basement. Karkat becomes aware of the effect of the booze in his system when he looks down the flight of stairs and his vision warbles.

“Guhhhh,” Karkat groans, grabbing onto the railing for dear life as he descends the steep stairs, slow and steady.

He makes it to the washroom unscathed, pushing open the door and heading for the urinals. There’s another guy in here, at the far end of the room, using one of the urinals. Following the age-old code, Karkat selects the urinal the absolute farthest away from the guy as he can get without pissing in the hallway.

The other part of the age-old code is to not make eye contact with another man while they are taking a piss. But there’s a wall to wall mirror above the urinals, and Karkat can see the guy’s reflection.

He’s got on a gray ballcap, and he’s got his head down while he zips his fly back up, but Karkat can also make out large, black, pointy shades sitting on the bridge of the man’s long, slender nose.

The dude flushes the urinal, and turns around to make his way over to the sinks. Karkat zips up and flushes, too, and heads over to the sinks as well. The sinks are shaped like clam shells, because of course they are. The soap dispensers are octopuses—Karkat has to press down on one of the tentacles to dispense the soap.

He peeks over at the dude again, who’s fumbling around with something at the sink. Karkat watches as he removes two black fingerless gloves and shoves them into his back pocket. Squirts out a drop of soap and starts washing.

Karkat isn’t sure why he can’t stop eyeing this dude up. It’s not like he’s checking him out,  _fuck_ no, it’s just—

Sunglasses indoors. At night.

The guy turns away to grab some paper towel to dry off his hands. He’s got white-blond hair under his cap. And the back of his neck is dabbled with freckles.

The man turns around and starts to walk toward the door, pulling his fingerless gloves out of his pocket as he goes and tugging them back on before he slips out the door. Then he’s gone.

Karkat stares at the door for a moment, the water still rushing over his hands, but the soaps been rinsed off for a while now. He twists the water off, and goes over to dry his hands.

Shades. Blonde hair. Freckles.

Karkat crumples up the paper towel and tosses it into the trash bin, then turns and heads for the door. Halfway across the bathroom, he’s already speed walking.

He takes the stairs back up two at a time. He looks down the long hallway that leads back to the lounges and the dance floor. Nothing.

Karkat walks speedily down the hallway, brushing past another club-goer on their way to the washrooms.

“Karkat?”

Karkat stops and spins on his heel, blinking rapidly. The person he just past was Jade, and he hadn’t even noticed. She gives him a curious look, her lip pulled into a small line.

“Everything okay?” she asks. Her expression shifts to a look of even deeper concern as she gives Karkat a once-over. “Karkat, you look like you just saw a ghost! Are you alright? Do you need to get out of here? I can go get Feferi.”

Karkat shakes his head softly, looking back over his shoulder. He tries to scan the dance floor. It’s dark. There’s too many people.

“Karkat??”

“I’m okay,” Karkat mumbles, and there’s no way Jade can hear him say that.

Jade steps over to Karkat and puts her hands on his shoulders. “Hey, Karks…look at me,” Jade grabs Karkat by the chin and pulls him to meet her gaze. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Karkat says, and he can hear his voice coming out but it sounds far away. “Go back to the dance floor, I’m gonna go get something from the bar.”

Jade doesn’t look the slightest bit convinced, but she lets go of Karkat and steps away. “Okay, if you say so,” she says, “But if you want to go at any point, just let me know and we can leave, okay? I’m sure Feferi would understand. The aquarium is near here, maybe we can go there with her instead?”

“Yeah, great,” Karkat says, nodding, not listening. Not hearing. His ears are thumping.

Karkat turns around and heads towards the bar. The bartender comes by and has to call out to Karkat a few times before Karkat looks over. He orders a shot of tequila, and knocks it back the minute the bartender puts it down on the counter.

It burns in his mouth and throat and sets off a fire in his chest. As Karkat brings the shot glass back down, his gaze falls on the other end of the bar, and the burning in his chest goes instantly cold.

The guy in the pointed shades is standing at the end of the bar, and there’s a woman with him. She’s wearing an emerald green cheongsam dress that’s decorated with red lotus blossoms and serpents. Her long black hair is twisted up into an intricate bun with two long, white chopsticks sticking out of it. Two long strands of hair come down to frame her slender face, leading Karkat’s gaze down to her large, onyx-black eyes. Sharp and dark as flint.

The guy in the pointed shades has his hand on her shoulder, and he’s bent low while he speaks into her ear. She looks disinterested as she sips on her drink. Her eyes flicker up over the rim of her glass and meet Karkat’s for an instant, then move away.

Karkat doesn’t hear the music anymore.

He hears a voice, clear as day in his head.

” _You’ve disrespected your maiden, knight. I won’t tolerate these repeated misbehaviors. Something needs to be done about it. You need to be corrected.”_

The  **crack** of a cane.

A sharp, shocked cry of pain.

” _When I’m through with you, we’ll see if you wrong me again.”_

**CRACK**

Karkat looks from the woman’s face, back up to the man in the pointed shades.

_Bro wanted to make me a man._

_Bro…paid her._

_I wanted it._

**CRACK**

_There are some people you just don’t say no to._

**CRACK**

He can feel the painful sting as Dave yanks on his hair and snarls right into his ear.

_Fuck you for saying what I should have done, like it would have been that fucking easy._

The ruthless rutting of his hips, his weight against Karkat, immobilizing him. Helpless. It hurts. It  _hurts_ .

_Like I didn’t have fucking everyone around pouring fucking poison into my goddamn head, telling me how worthless I am_ —

**CRACK**

— _How I ruin everything I touch, how I’m only good for_ **this** —

A loud slap of skin, a burning stretch, a deep grind—it’s good but it  _hurts_ , it’s  _wrong_ , he’s hurting him, Dave’s hurting him, he’s hurting Dave, it  _hurts_ —

_Thunk_ .

Karkat slams his empty shot glass down on the counter. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand.

The beast is  _straining_ against its bonds, frothing at the mouth,  _howling_ in fury.

The man in the pointed shades leaves the woman in the dress to her drink, and walks away. He rounds the bar, walking toward Karkat.

He’s just about to pass Karkat when Karkat shoots out an arm and presses his palm flat against the man’s chest.

The man in the pointed shades comes to a stop, and looks over at Karkat slowly. A thin, arched brow raises over the top of his shades.

“You’re his brother, aren’t you.”

Karkat’s mouth is moving, but the words that come out are so quiet even he can’t hear them. Where his palm rests, he can feel the guy’s chest lurch slightly. A scoff.

His hand is knocked away.

“ _You’re his_ **brother** , _aren’t you_.” Karkat says, louder this time.

The man smirks.

Fucking  _smirks_ .

Bro fucking  **smirks** . His mouth is moving but Karkat doesn’t hear a word.

The tether  _snaps_ .

The beast is  **free** .

Karkat reels back his fist and sends it flying towards Bro Strider’s jaw.

  
  


  
  


  
  


Dice clatter across the table.

“18 to hit?” Dave asks, squinting at his roll modifier.

“That hitth, roll for damage.” Sollux says, and he’s resting his chin on his hands, grinning lazily as Dave rolls.

“Fuck yeah, nine damage against this ugly bitch.”

“Your eldritch blatht leapth from your fingerth and puncheth right through her chetht.” Sollux says, marking something off behind his screen. “Thhe barely hath a moment to look thurprithed before thhe ith thinking to the ground, collapthing and her form tharting to thrivel away, revealing the thame marionette ath all the otherth.”

“Hell yeah!” John holds up his hand for a high five and Dave slaps the shit out of it. “We’re getting better at this!”

“Fuck yeah we are, we are the fucking _master_ of killing these stupid puppets. Hey Sollux, when are we going to get a _real_ challenge?”

Sollux grins and rolls some dice before studying them with a serious expression.

“You’ll thee.” He says. “With the puppet defeated, you find yourthelf thanding in front of a choice. Thuth far you’ve explored motht of both cathtles. You know the thairth down may take you to your goal, but if it ith the wrong cathtle, it may lead to your doom. You can dethend into the depthth of thith cathtle or you can take the corridor to your left and explore the other one again.”

“Well,” Dave says, and clears his throat to do a Karkat impression, “Karkat’s character is going to say ‘WE’VE ALREADY EXPLORED BOTH OF THESE FUCKING CASTLES AND ALL THE CLUES POINT TO THIS ONE BEING THE RIGHT ONE, SO LETS JUST DO DOWN THERE AND BEAT THE ASS OF WHATEVER BOSS MONSTER SOLLUX IS GOING TO THROW AT US’.”

He think he’s pretty fucking good at sounding like Karkat. He certainly listens to him gush enough.

John folds his arms, leaning back in his chair.

“But what about that riddle?” He asks and Dave has to fight not to roll his eyes.

“Forget the riddle, dude, it makes no fucking sense, Sollux probably threw it in there to fuck with us!” Dave says, exasperated, having had this conversation three times so far with John.

Sollux has a shit-eating grin on his face. Yeah, yeah, yuck it up you big bad dungeon master.

“Alright, alright, but if we die I’m blaming you!” John says accusingly, and Dave throws up his hands in a _don’t blame me_ gesture.

“Fine by me!” He says. “Sollux, we descend into this castle.”

Sollux rolls the dice again and nods to himself.

“The three of you enter the thtaircase going down. It’s wide and thtraight, just a thet of thairth dethending into the depth. Like the retht of the cathtle, there are no torcheth, but it’th lit by glowing chunkth of pale blue thtone embedded along the wallth. The thairth get neater and cleaner the deeper you dethcend, until it lookth like they’re brand new.”

“You arrive to the bottom of the thairth and find yourthelveth at the entrance to a big, circular room. The thtone floor ith no longer jutht thtone- it’th inlaid with all kindth of patternth and colorth in thwirling, circular dethignth.”

“The wallth have the thame, glowing thoneth lighting the room, and you can thee all number of torture deviceth filling the room, rackth and chainth and the like.”

“It’s _cleaner_ but it’s also a _torture dungeon_? Okay…” John drawls.

Sollux, of course, ignores him to continue describing the room.

“The center of the room ith free, all of the deviceth are tho nicely placed around the edgeth of the room for _convient walking thpace_ ,” he shoots a pointed look at John, “and on the far thide of the room there’th another door, leading you deeper into the depthth of the cathtle.”

“I make a perception check.” Dave says, and rolls. “Fuck yeah, seventeen. What do I see?”

Sollux consults his notes.

“You look down and notice that the floor ithn’t jutht twithting patternth of thtone- it lookth like there are _faceth_ carved into it, twithed in pain and threaming in thilent agony.” Sollux pauses for dramatic effect as John makes a disgusted face.

“Cheery!” Dave says. “What else?”

“You altho notithe that the air down here feelth heavier, and yet it thmellth thweet, energizing you. Also, wandering over to one of the torture deviceth, you can thee that it’th not ruthing at all- in fact it’th downright thparkling.”

“Oh shit.” Dave says. “That means someone’s been taking care of these bitches, right?”

“Dave if we get put on the racks I am fucking out of here.” John says serious. “I am _not_ going to let my character get tortured.”

“No one’s getting tortured.” Dave says. “I’m sure it’s just a nice, friendly, warm welcome that they give to all adventurers who-”

“Make a dex thaving throw.” Sollux declares.

“What?” Dave says, but he’s already picking up his D20s and rolling. “Uhh, 18 me, 15 Karkat.”

John winces. “Seven?” He offers.

Sollux grins.

“Darkneth rusheth out of the door on the other thide of the room, tendrilth reaching out for each of you. Dave, your characterth dodge them thuccethfully, but John your human ith grabbed and pulled deeper into the cathle.”

“Aw, shit, they got John!” Dave exclaims as John groans in despair. “Okay, we’ll run after him.”

“As you move forwardth, gateth thlamth down into place, cutting you and Karkat off from the reth of the cathtle, trapping you in thith room.”

“Both doors, right?” Dave asks, and Sollux nods.

“John, we’ll do what happenth to you in a minute, alright?” John nods, settling back in his chair, his leg bouncing nervously.

“You hear a low, meancing laugh echo through the room, and ath you turn around you thee a man thtanding there. He’s tall, blond, thkinny, and wearing black robeth. He hath a gaunt, hollowed face like he hathn’t theen thunlight in monthth, and hith exprethion ith gleeful ath he thayth _‘Alwayth glad for new thubjectth’_. Roll for initiative.”

“Are you serious, a fucking _necromancer?_ Ugh I should have fucking _known_. At least he’s a spellcaster so I bet his AC is gonna be _shit_ ,” Dave bitches, picking up his dice and rolling. “Fucking… seventeen for Karkat and, gross, _two_ for me.”

“Well, he got a fucking theven for initiative, tho Karkat getth to attack firtht.”

“Well Karkat is going to do what he does best as a paladin and fucking use Divine Smite on that bitch.”

“Alright, make a melee attack.” Sollux says, and Dave rolls his dice.

It clatters to the table and Dave grins. “Fucking  _nineteen_ boys my boyfriend has such good hit attack modifiers-” He brags-

John kicks him under the table.

“Ow!”

" _You_ rolled the character, Dave!" John snarks.

“That’th a hit, roll for damage.” Sollux

Dave scoops up the dice and rolls, counting them up.

“Fifteen fucking damage right out the gate, let’s go!”

  
  


  
  


  
  


Karkat’s fist connects with the side of Bro’s jaw, just below the ear.

The hit sends Bro reeling backwards, but he stays on his feet. The reaction from the club-goers is immediate; several people sitting at the bar jump out of their chairs in surprise and start to back away, not wanting to get mixed up in whatever brawl is about to ensue.

The bartender shouts something from behind the bar, but Karkat can’t make out what he’s saying through the thumping of the music, and the ringing in his ears.

Bro stands a few paces back now, and he’s staring down Karkat. He didn’t even bring his hand up to rub at his jaw, but Karkat can see the muscles in his shoulders clenching.

He obviously was caught off guard. Not used to someone getting a hit on him.

Karkat thinks about the little white scars on the backs of Dave’s hands. The longer ones on his arms. His legs. The slash across his chest.

The black eyes hidden behind dark shades.

A busted lip. He said he tripped on his shoelace and fell.

 _How many times_ , Karkat wants to ask, _how many times did you hurt him. Make him bruise, make him_ **bleed**.

**YOU WERE ALL HE HAD.** the beast snarls at Bro,  **HE WAS RAISED BY A FUCKING MONSTER. TOLD ALL OF HIS LIFE HE WAS WEAK AND WORTHLESS. NOTHING HE DID WAS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.**

**ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS YOUR LOVE AND YOU HURT HIM.**

**YOUR LITTLE BROTHER.**

Karkat’s already heaving, but it’s not from any kind of exertion. It’s a  _seething_ . White hot rage crawls over him and swallows him whole. Nothing else in the room matters. All he feels is heat and fury and all he sees is  _Bro_ .

Everything that had happened to Dave…

_It all came back to Bro._

Bro was there from the very beginning, starting the cycle of neglect and abuse and hatred.

And it was going to  _end_ , right fucking here.

Bro takes a single step forwards, and Karkat’s back tenses up as he waits for Bro to make a move.

  
  


  
  


  
  


“Right, Karkat bringth his thword up and layth a brutal blow against the necromancer.” Sollux says, then grins. “The necromancer goes, tho he ith going to retaliate right on back- it’s going to fire a point blank lightning bolt. It blath from hith hand and threakth through the room at the both of you- make a dex thaving throw.”

Dave looks at Karkat’s dexterity and winces. He rolls for both of them. “Uh… 19 me, 10 Karkat.”

Sollux snorts.

“You, with the thplit thecond extra moment to react, dodge and manage to avoid the wortht of the damage. Karkat doeth no thuch thing and taketh the full brunt of the attack.”

He rolls a  _lot_ of dice. John bites his lip, watching with wide eyes.

“Karkat taketh thirty-six damage.” Sollux declares. “Half that for you, Dave.”

“Ouch, what the hell?!” Dave yelps, but marks the damage off accordingly. “Sollux there is _no fucking way_ this is an appropriate level for us that’s more than half our health!”

“Good thing you made your thaving throw.” Sollux says smugly.

“Wait- Karkat’s a storm paladin, I’m going to both use his _Thunderous Revenge_ to half that damage and retaliate- _and_ I’m going to make the argument that since he’s a fucking _storm paladin_ he should have resistance against electrical attacks!” Dave folds his arms, staring Sollux down.

Sollux snorts. “Thunderouth revenge, yeth, rethithtance, no.”

“Come on, think about it.” Dave challenges. “Life paladins get better healing, right? What the fuck do storm paladins get?”

" _Thunderouth Revenge._ " Sollux deadpans.

“Don’t be a fucking square, Sollux, I’m thinking outside the box to make this encounter not _stupid_ unfair.” Dave throws his hands up. “Literally one failed saving throw on the first attack would have _killed me_.”

Sollux sniffs.

“Fine. Thince you are thuch a _baby_ , I will agree to both of thothe thingth.”

“Thank _fuuuuck_.” Dave groans. “Okay, so half the damage, then half again- that’s uh… round up or down?”

“Up.”

"Wait I’m dumb it’s nine. Okay, so nine damage for Karkat and  _eighteen_ for me you stupid fuck- now  _Thunderous Revenge-_ "

He squints at his notes.

“2d10 plus level… okay. So… sixteen damage, holy fuck. Wait, there’s no fucking use limit on this??? O-fucking-P goddamn.”

“Yeah.” Sollux drawls, marking the damage off. “Fucking _Thunderouth Revenge_ ith fucking _buthted_. Your turn, dipthit.”

“Shut up. Okay, let’s see… Can’t do AOE shit since Karkat’s right there-” Dave looks through his spells for a moment. “Uh… what’s this dude’s spellcasting modifier?”

“He’th a _necromancer_ , Dave.”

“That doesn’t tell me shit!”

Sollux rolls his eyes.

" _Intelligence_ , you fucking lother."

“Shut up, how was I to know that? It could have been wisdom! Okay, I’m going to use- wait, I have Hellish Rebuke! I’m going to cast that as a reaction to Karkat being damaged!”

“You are _tho_ fucking dithorganized.”

“Hey, I’m trying my best. He needs to make a dex saving throw because I’m going to call him a fucking bitch ass pussy boy.”

John cackles.

“Alright, what to beat?”

“Fourteen.” Dave says smugly. Fucking 18 Charisma, let’s go boys. He gasps. “No, wait, fifteen since I found the charm amulet!”

“Fifteen it ith.” Sollux rolls. He winces. “Nat twenty, damn.”

“Wait, what does that mean for a saving throw?” Dave asks.

“Well, I play it’th quarter damage.” Sollux says.

“Booo. Okay, damage.” Dave rolls. “Holy shit, uhh okay quarter that… rounded up is five.”

Sollux nods, marking it off. “Okay, then make your proper turn.”

“Well. Eldritch blast that bitch.”

“Roll to hit.”

Roll.

“Ha. Fucking eight, that fucking misses.”

“Thure doeth. Karkat’th move.”

“He’s going to beat that bitch again with his sword using Divine Smite, and that’s… non natural twenty.”

“Fucking hitth, duh. Damage?”

“Twelve.”

  
  


  
  


  
  


Bro takes another step forward and it’s like he  _teleports_ . Karkat gets taken aback by his speed, and falters for a half-second before his fight-or-flight kicks the fuck into overdrive and he lurches out of the way of a swinging fist aimed right for his face.

Karkat stumbles awkwardly on his feet, cursing under his breath. His knee-jerk reaction from the shock was made extra sloppy from the fact the alcohol is finally starting to kick in. Shit. Shit,  _shit_ .

And it costs him, because Bro wastes no time in attacking again. Karkat’s pathetic attempt at a dodge was jumping sideways and stumbling into the bar. Now he’s fucking cornered himself like an idiot, and Bro snaps a hand out and grabs him by the front of his shirt. Then his other arm swings towards Karkat again.

Instinct has Karkat bring up his arms in an attempt to shield his face, but Bro’s fist breaks though the barrier and manages to knock aside Karkat’s arm and clip him in the side of the head. It’s not particularly painful, but starbursts flash across Karkat’s vision for a moment.

The flickering stars are gone as quick as they came, and Karkat’s suddenly feeling as though he has—quite literally—had some sense knocked into him.

He had to get his shit together or this cocksucker was going to drop him like a wet bag of cement.

Pure instinct kicks in—his hand shoots up and snatches Bro’s fist that’s clenched into his shirt, and Karkat twists his body. It moves Bro’s arm with him in the opposite direction Bro can move it, so Bro releases his grip as Karkat turns sharply. It’s brought Bro into a slightly bent position for a fraction of a second—so Karkat drops his elbow down as hard as he can.

Bro has already started to correct himself, but Karkat’s elbow does manage to knock across the side of Bro’s ribs. Not enough to crack a rib, but when Bro stands fully upright again he brings a hand up to his side, almost as though he’s in disbelief that Karkat’s managed to touch him  _twice_ now. Like he figured the first punch to be a fluke.

There’s a red welt forming on the side of Bro’s jaw, and just the sight of that one single bruise already makes Karkat feel triumphant.

How many times had Karkat found fresh bruises on Dave, back when they were kids? How many times had he asked where he got them? How many times had Dave told him some dumb lie so that he wouldn’t have to tell Karkat the truth.

_Bro did this._

_My brother hits me_ .

It feels like Karkat’s remembering his entire childhood all at once. Suppressed memories are rising to the surface like he’d been holding them underwater, trying to drown them out. But now that he’s let go, and they float up to the surface one by one.

Dave would jump out of his skin at any kind of metal sound, especially metal clashing together. If the two of them watched a movie that had lots of sword fights, Karkat had to turn the volume so low they may as well watch on mute.

Dave hated the sight of blood, to the point Karkat was pretty sure it was a straight up phobia. His own, other people’s, even the fake shit on TV and movies. Dave could handle the movie stuff a bit better, maybe the fact he could tell himself it wasn’t real helped.

But when Karkat cut his leg open that day they were climbing down from their favourite spot on the cliff, the moment Dave saw all that blood he instantly looked ready to be sick.

Just a few weeks ago, Dave and Karkat were making dinner at Karkat’s apartment. Karkat always handled any meal prep that involved using a knife. Dave never asked him to, of course not—it was just a thing Karkat did automatically.

Karkat’s hand slipped while cutting and he sliced the side of his finger. It wasn’t even that deep of a cut but Karkat had always been a big bleeder. He had tried to quickly cover up his hand but Dave still saw it, and the expression on his face was the exact same as the day Karkat cut his leg. It wasn’t even close to the same amount of blood, but it had Dave standing frozen in the middle of the kitchen while Karkat rinsed his finger under the sink, uttering reassurances and soothing words for Dave rather than himself.

It was things like that which Karkat knew Dave would carry the rest of his life.

Karkat had it too. The one kind of blade he couldn’t handle were box cutters. Especially the ones with the typical thick, yellow handle. Every time Karkat saw one, he was back on his basement floor, holding it to his wrist, hovering, hesitating.

It never even touched his skin. But it may as well have, because Karkat clammed up any time he was around a box cutter now.

When he’d moved out of his student dorm and into his apartment, he and Dave were unpacking and Karkat had a box cutter and a pair of scissors to open the boxes with. He’d given Dave the scissors because, well, it was just like when they did meal prep in the kitchen. Karkat handled the knives, that was the unspoken rule.

But then Karkat twisted the blade out, and went over to the first box. Just the weight of it in his hand brought back flashbacks. He’s not sure how long he’d stood there, hovering over that box. Eventually Dave stepped over and carefully pulled the box cutter from Karkat’s hand, and gave him the scissors instead.

Dave wouldn’t be scared of metal sounds and knives and swords and blood, if it wasn’t for Bro.

If it weren’t for Bro, Karkat would be able to unpack boxes in his new apartment with his fiancé, because he wouldn’t be scared of box cutters. Because he never would have held one to his wrist. Because he never would have considered killing himself.

Because Dave never would have left.

Bro forced Dave to leave. Bro pushed him into Damara’s clutches. Bro let Damara punish and abuse and hurt and  _rape_ Dave over and over and over—

Karkat feels someone grab his shoulder and he jolts, whirling around to see—oh, the bartender is still yelling at him. Karkat pulls himself away from the man’s hold, and looks back at Bro. He has to keep his eyes on Bro. But the barkeep is snagging his shoulder again and yelling in his ear.

“Hey! Either the both of you back off or take it the hell outside!” he shouts over the music.

Karkat keeps staring at Bro. And Bro is still watching him, but he’s not in the same tense, readied stance that Karkat is in. He could practically be standing there with his hands in his pockets for how relaxed he looks, despite the fact he’d just tried to knock Karkat the fuck out.

Damara suddenly appears next to Bro, and Bro doesn’t move as she leans up to speak into his ear. Bro nods.

The barkeep shouts, “HEY! Are you listening to me, buddy? Tell me you’re gonna be cool, or you’re out!”

“Karkat!!”

Jade runs over to him, her expression looking wild and shocked. She looks between Karkat, to Bro, and back to Karkat again. She grabs Karkat by the arm and pulls him from the bar, but Karkat keeps his eyes planted on Bro. He digs in his heels and doesn’t let Jade pull him away any farther.

“Karkat, what happened??” Jade shouts over the music. She looks back over to Bro, then back to Karkat. “I saw this guy grab you by the shirt, he had you pinned against the bar?? What’s going on!?”

Damara turns and walks away. Bro slowly brings up one hand and then curls two of his fingers towards himself once, twice. Then he turns and follows Damara.

_Follow_ .

Karkat does.

“Wha—Karkat!!” Jade is still shouting something else at him but Karkat can’t hear her. She follows along beside Karkat as he tracks Bro through the club. Damara slips past a large fish tank filled with manta rays. Bro is right behind her.

Jade squeezes Karkat’s arm. Once they pass the manta ray tank the music is getting farther away and quieter the farther they walk down the hallway.

“Karkat?” Jade murmurs, leaning down to speak in his ear.

Damara opens a door at the end of the hall and her and Bro go inside. The door closes, but doesn’t fully shut. Jade pulls again on Karkat’s arm to bring him to a stop.

“Karkat, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Jade asks. She’s staring down at Karkat now with a worried, but stony expression.

Karkat finally takes his gaze away from the door and up at Jade. Jade’s expression automatically shifts at the look on Karkat’s face to a firm understanding.

“I’m going in with you.” It’s not a question.

Karkat heads for the door with Jade right behind him. They enter the lounge, which is even larger and fancier than the one Feferi got for the three of them. Damara is splayed out across a deep violet chaise. Bro is sitting on the couch, legs spread-eagle, leaned back with his arms resting along the back. Karkat and Jade hover by the doorway for a moment, then Karkat shuts the door fully behind him and walks over to where Bro is sitting.

There’s another couch adjacent to the one Bro sits on, and Jade keeps her eyes warily on Bro as she takes a seat. Karkat stands there staring down Bro for a moment longer, fists clenched at his sides. Jade reaches up and tugs gently at his sleeve.

Karkat sits down, and says nothing. He glares over at Bro, his teeth clenched, his jaw twitching. He wants to lash out with venom and fire, but he holds it down and waits for Bro to speak.

  
  


“How’s the fag?” Bored. Distinterested. Like he didn’t just get hit twice by some random stranger in a bar.

  
  


Karkat’s ready to lunge across the table and grab Bro by the throat. His fists clench his knees tight and his teeth grind together.

Jade presses her hand against the side of his leg, out of sight. A subtle warning.  _Don’t_ .

Karkat has to count to eighty in his head before he’s certain he won’t get out of his seat.

“Like you even fucking care.” Karkat bites out.

  
  


Damara’s flint-sharp stare is watching Karkat, unwavering. Black and cold.

“Still alive, then.” Bro muses. He’s practically a statue, the only movement he makes the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes and the shifting of his mouth as he forms words. “Not here with you, though. Shame. I’d like to see how weak he’s gotten.”

  
  


The beast was ready to rip out Bro’s throat, but it pauses. It’s not a battle of strength now, but a battle of the mind. The beast sits back, watching, waiting. Fuelling Karkat’s words but not his actions. Not yet.

Karkat unclenches his fists. Bro is statuesque before him, but not tense. He’s reclined on the couch, open and loose. Like Karkat poses no threat to him whatsoever. If Karkat sits here looking ready to combust, then he’s already lost. Karkat leans back on the couch and folds his arms.

“He’s home. Safe. Where he belongs.” he mutters, “And like I said, not like you’d even give a shit, but—he graduates next year. Grades are above average in every class. He’s got a great job that he loves. And he’s engaged.”

Karkat lifts one leg up and crosses it over his knee. “He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

  
  


“Weak.” Is all Bro says.

Damara’s mouth curves into a slow, cruel smile.

" _Engaged?_ " Her voice is lilting, faintly accented. “So the broken little knight found someone to pity him.”

“He always was a leech.” Bro muses.

  
  


Karkat’s eye twitches with the restraint it takes to keep his face in a neutral expression.

The beast is growling, it’s hair standing on end, but it stays put. Karkat isn’t really sure how he’s managing to keep himself from launching across the room and throttling the life out of these people.

Perhaps a twisted and masochistic part of him feels he needs to sit here and truly witness for himself what Dave had to put up with all these years, in order to truly understand. His stomach churns, nauseated to even be in the same room as these people, but he endures. He has to.

All Dave did was exist and Bro  _hated_ him for it.

Damara broke Dave simply because she  _wanted_ to. Because Bro had already made it all too easy for her. He wouldn’t put up much resistance, and then she could pull her sick pleasure from him as often as she pleased.

237 times.

Probably even more. That’s just what the bitch recorded, after all.

_Broken little knight_ . Karkat scoffs.

Dave was officially the bravest, strongest person Karkat had ever known, for putting up with these monsters all his life and not letting it break his spirit.

Karkat had never even heard Dave say a bad word about either of them. Never called them a bad name, or said what they did to him was awful and cruel. Dave was convinced he  _deserved_ it.

Dave didn’t walk away unscathed, of course. He was only human, and the scars both mental and physical would remain. But the fact Dave could be surrounded by people like this and be so kind and funny and loving, was the most spectacular feat Karkat could fathom.

A  _leech_ ? Karkat shakes his head as a small, bitter laugh bursts out of him.

Dave stayed at Karkat’s apartment a couple nights a week, obviously not living there full-time due to school so he had his dorm. Dave paid him rent anyway, and Karkat tried to refuse it but Dave wasn’t having it. Dave would hardly let Karkat buy him a coffee.

“You’re all fucking _delusional_.” Karkat whispers incredulously.

  
  


Bro arches a thin brow at Karkat, but it’s Damara who speaks.

“Delusional?” Her gaze runs slowly over Karkat, dismissing Jade entirely. Her mouth pulls wider, an ugly, thin, _cruel_ smile. “Ah. It is _you_ who took pity on that worthless toy.”

She reaches for the table next to her lounger, elegantly-painted fingers picking up a pack of cigarettes to slip one out.

“Tell me.” Damara says, tucking it into her mouth and lighting it. She takes a long pull and breathes out, smoke curling in the air. “Does he call my name, when you fuck him?”

  
  


Karkat matches Damara’s despicable expression with a sly sneer.

“Yeah, I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Karkat scoffs, “It sure was a slap to the face for you when he called out _mine_ , wasn’t it?”

Jade looks over at Karkat. “Karkat, who…who is she?” she asks, voice soft.

“She’s the sick twat that raped Dave more than a hundred times.” Karkat says, still glaring at Damara.

Jade looks away from Karkat and over at Damara. “…Oh.” Jade says flatly.

Karkat turns his attention back to Bro. “So, was Dave ever paid for his time as a sex worker? Or did he just get raped and get told who to fuck and when for no fucking reason? Apparently he was  _marketable_ . So you must have been doing all that raping and torturing for  _something_ other than just your own sick enjoyment, right?  _Sex sells_ , after all. So tell me, how much money did Dave make with those two-hundred and thirty seven videos?”

  
  


Damara’s expression crystalizes into a furious flicker of rage before it smooths right back into that cruel smile.

“He made me a pretty penny- and still is.” She says carelessly. " _His_ cut goes to his agent. The work my knight did… that _was_ his pay." She says. “If you’re so naive as to think that he did not _want it_ , was not _desperate_ for it…” She blows a plume of smoke towards Karkat. “Perhaps you should ask him a couple of _questions_.”

  
  


Karkat looks back at Damara and lifts an eyebrow. “Oh, did that hit a nerve?” he says icily, “Sorry to break it to you, but gaslighting Dave into believing he wanted to get fucked by you doesn’t make the fact you’re a fucking rapist null and void. And even if he  _did_ want it, you still posted hundreds of videos of him online without his consent. So, I’ll ask  _again_ —“

Karkat looks back to Bro as he unfolds his arms and leans forwards on the couch.

“How much money did you make from letting your little brother get raped?”

  
  


Bro just tilts his head, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “About 2 mil.” He drawls.

Damara’s eyes are flint sharp and  _cold_ again. “The Knight had a  _very_ generous profit margin.” She says, ignoring Karkat’s digs outright, back to being unbothered. “Strider got his cut, of course.”

Bro’s head tilts towards Damara, who blows smoke at him, her smile turning teasing for a moment.

  
  


Karkat leans back on the couch again. “Generous profit margin, huh?”

Karkat finally pulls his gaze away from Bro as he looks up at the ceiling for a moment, clearly deep in thought.

“Hey, Harls,” Karkat says slowly, “You’re good at mental math shit, right?”

Jade perks up beside him, but looks a bit confused. “Uh, yeah. Umm…why?”

“Because I need you to crunch some numbers for me,” Karkat says, looking back down at Bro. “Let’s say that if Dave was a legit sex worker…the average sex worker makes, what? $150-$500 per hour? I’m the last person to put a number on what Dave’s time in bed is worth—because I would be biased as fuck and say _priceless_ —but let’s do a ballpark of…$300 an hour?”

Karkat holds up another finger. “So let’s say Dave “worked”,” and Karkat does air quotes with his other hand as he says the word, “an average of five days a week…and let’s say an average of five hours a day, just to keep things easy. So $300 per five hours, times five days?”

There’s only a small pause before Jade says, “He would have made $1,500 a day. In a week, that’s $7,500.”

Karkat nods. “Okay. So, he made $7,500 a week. And he worked for two years, but he was  _gone_ for five. And those videos are  _still_ making these dickheads money so, let’s just round that up to an easy five years.”

“So 52 weeks in a year…times $7,500…that’s, uhh…$390,000 a year.” Jade says. Then she counts on her fingers for a moment. “So…390 times 5…that’s…$1,950,000.”

Karkat whistles. “Damn, okay. Well, let’s see now…”

Karkat leans forward again, resting his elbows on his knees as he steeples his fingers. He looks deep in thought for another moment before he looks back up at Bro again.

“I want you to take Dave’s videos down,” Karkat says with a stone-cold finality in his voice, “and $900,000. Chock it up to fuckin’ severance pay for all the years of hell you put him through.”

Karkat sits upright, and levels Bro with a hard stare.

“Either that, or I show all those videos as evidence and I get the both of you put in fucking jail.”

  
  


Darama tilts her head back and laughs. It’s not a nice sound.

" _Jail?_ " She says, and her grin is wide and victorious. “Oh, you are a  _very_ foolish boy. If you attempt to bring us to trial it will be here, in the state of California. You think any judge will hear your tales? Do not be ridiculous. You would be thrown out on your ear for simply  _trying_ to file a claim.”

“You have no idea the pond that you’re stepping into, kid.” Bro says. “Tuck your tail between your legs and run back home to my pathetic little brother.”

  
  


“Yeah, sounds like a real pain in the ass. And I don’t particularly want to include Dave in a court case if he’s not comfortable with it,” Karkat says, eerily calm. “You don’t want me to take it to court. I don’t want the hassle of a trial. So how about you just take down the videos and—tell you what, how about I knock it down to $700,000.”

Jade looks between Bro and Karkat, biting her lip nervously. She looks over to Bro, her brows knitted, but keeps quiet.

“You say I don’t know the pond I’m stepping into?” Karkat mutters, “Seems like I’ve just been waist-deep in fucking sewage ever since I walked into this fucking bar. And I’ll roll around in it for as long as it takes to make sure Dave gets what he’s owed. You think I’m fucking afraid of you people? You make me sick to my stomach, but I’m not fucking _scared_. So how about you get your dicks out of your ears for two seconds and fucking negotiate?”

  
  


“There is nothing _to_ negotiate.” Damara crushes the butt of her cigarette out. “I don’t think you understand. If, somehow, you manage to file a claim- I will _drown_ you in legal debt.” She says. “I hope you live in the state because you will be stuck in the legal system for a very, _very_ long time.”

She tilts her head slightly. “Do you own anything you could mortgage?” Damara muses. “Lawyers are far from cheap- especially for  _years_ on end.”

  
  


Karkat chuckles darkly and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not fucking talking to you.” he mutters under his breath.

“I have an idea,” Jade interjects suddenly, looking at Bro. “The IRS allows a monetary gift between family members of up to $15,000 annually, and that’s tax-exempt! You could send that amount to Dave over the next five years. That’s $75,000. Way less than what Karkat offered but it’s still _some_ thing. I also think that the videos need to be taken down. Dave’s already paid his dues…even though he didn’t _owe_ you anything. He was a child in your care, you were his legal guardian. We could sit here all day tossing numbers back and forth, but there’s no monetary value we can put on what you put Dave through.”

  
  


Bro makes a low, amused noise in his throat. “Fine. If you feel that leech deserves  _something_ then I’ll agree to that pittance.”

“The videos stay up.” Damara says mildly. “That is not changing.”

  
  


“Then you send Dave money for the rest of your life.” Karkat says, not missing a beat. Still not looking at Damara. “$15,000 a year, until you croak.”

  
  


“No.” Bro says, tone still amused.

  
  


“Then take the videos down.” Karkat bites out.

  
  


“No.”

  
  


Karkat sighs gratingly.

“Fine. $15,000 a year for five years.” he says tightly. “Keep your stupid fucking videos.”

“Karkat—“ Jade starts.

“It’s fine,” Karkat says, pushing up off from the couch. “If they’re so hellbent on keeping those videos up, then there’s no point going blue in the face arguing about it.”

“I want your word,” Karkat says, looking down at Bro with clenched hands, “That you’ll keep up your end. And if you don’t, I’m coming right the fuck back here and making sure you do.”

He extends a hand out to Bro. It makes a thick ball of disgust settle deep in his gut at the thought of touching Bro, but Karkat holds his arm steady.

“Shake on it.”

  
  


Bro’s head tilts up slightly, then he’s rising to his feet, towering over Karkat.

Without a word, he takes Karkat’s hand and shakes.

His grip is firm and unyeilding as he holds Karkat’s hand, but then he’s twisting, leg snapping out to hook around the back of Karkat’s knees. He lets go of Karkat’s hand and, in one perfectly coordinated motion, throws his elbow into Karkat’s face as he yanks Karkat’s legs out from under him.

The combination results in Karkat being slammed to the floor with pain exploding over his cheekbones.

“Satisfied?” Bro drawls, standing over Karkat.

  
  


Bro gets up from the couch, and Karkat is reminded that he’s about two heads taller than Karkat is. Karkat has to crane his head completely upwards as Bro rises to his feet, but he keeps his hand outstretched and a firm glare on his face. Bro looks down at Karkat for a time, then reaches out a gloved hand and takes Karkat’s. He shakes.

He doesn’t let go. Bro’s grip  _tightens_ and then his body twists and Karkat only has a second to think about how he was the biggest fucking idiot ever to ask for a handshake from this asshole before his knees are knocked out from under him, and Bro’s elbow smashes into his face and he’s slammed into the floor.

“Karkat!!” Jade yelps.

_Uggghh._ Fuck.

Something warm and wet slides down Karkat’s cheek as he lays on the floor, his eyes screwed shut as he waits for his brain to unscramble. He brings up a hand and  _ugh_ , yep, dammit. He screws open one eye and looks at his fingers with a grimace as they come away red. Bloody nose. Might even be broken, Karkat’s whole face feels like it’s on fire, and the burn is hottest right in the centre of his face.

The beast is on all fours again, and is snarling.

**Get up.**

Jade is crouching down next to Karkat, reaching out to help Karkat to his feet, but Karkat waves her off. Jade turns a pointed glare at Bro as she and Karkat both get back on their feet.

Karkat wipes the back of his hand under his nose, careful to avoid touching his nose in case it’s broken. It’s certainly bleeding enough. Blood is pouring down and over his mouth to the point Karkat can taste copper on his tongue.

Jade takes a challenging step towards Bro, her jaw set, her green eyes stone-cold and glassy. She opens her mouth to speak but Karkat steps over to stand in front of her.

“Stay out of it, Harls. I got this,” Karkat says, keeping his eyes on Bro as he speaks.

“But, Karkat—“

“You get the other one.”

There’s a pause. Then Jade doesn’t say another word as she steps away from Karkat and storms across the room towards Damara. Karkat smirks. Good girl.

The beast snaps it’s teeth, foam dripping from it’s curled lips.

Karkat lunges forward and throws his fist.


	7. Chapter 7

“Right, you’ve gotten thome good hitth in on the necromancer- let’th thwith to John.” Sollux says, and John straightens up a bit. Dave grins, leaning back in his chair, but his mind is whirling with strategy.

“Right, John, you are grabbed by the tendrilth of darkneth. You are dragged deeper into the dungeon, and you can hear gateth thlam down into place behind you, cutting you off from your party.”

John nods, his expression serious as he leans forwards.

“You are pulled down a corridor and it taketh a tharp turn to the left, then you are dragged down a _long_ hallway, then there’th another tharp left turn and you’re pulled into another wide, circular chamber. It’th all but identical in appearance except thith one doethn’t have all the torture deviceth. Altho, there’a a woman floating in the room, thadowth writhing around her.”

“Do I recognize this woman?” John asks.

“Make an investigation check.” Sollux says.

“Uh… fuck. Three.”

“You have no idea who thith woman ith.”

“I tried.” John says with a little shrug.

“The dragth you into the room and the dark tendrilth dithapate. Ath you clamber to your feet, the letth out an ear-piercing thriek, make a conthtitution thaving throw.”

“Sixteen.”

“Alright,” Sollux rolls some dice. “You take ten psychic damage. Roll for inititive.”

“Hell yeah, eighteen.” John gives a little fist pump and looks over at Dave. “So, you got a necromancer- this is probably undead too, right?”

“I mean, shrieking wail, floating woman? Hey Sollux is she rotting or gross in any way?”

“The’th drethed in white and lookth to be rotting, yeth.”

“Banshee.” John and Dave chorus together.

“You got this in the bag, dude, just smite that bitch with radiant damage.” Dave says, slapping John on the shoulder.

“One other thing-” Sollux says, “thince you’ve laid your eyeth on her- make a withdom thaving throw.”

John rolls. “Fifteen.”

“Alright, you’re good. You get to attack firth.” Sollux declares.

“Okay, okay…” John looks through his notes. “So, because of the Ring of Reaction that I found earlier, I can use it up to three times to take a bonus action after I’ve been damaged. So, with that- I’m going to cast guiding bolt.”

“Thoundth good to me, roll to hit.”

“I- eugh, 13?”

“That hitth, roll for damage.”

“Wait, really?” John blinks in surprise.

“Her AC ith fucking _12_ dude, the’th not exactly _armored up_.” Sollux says sarcastically.

“Alright, alright. She’s a banshee so she’s weak to radiant damage… should I just roll 4d6 and double it? Or should I roll 8d6?”

“I don’t give a thit.”

“Rolling a fuck ton of dice is just feelgood, dude.” Dave says, nudging John with his elbow. John grins and scoops up his dice.

“Alright, big money no whammys!” He says, and rolls.

“That’th… a _lot_ of thixeth, what the fuck Egbert.”

“Thirty-eight!” John declares, grinning smugly. " _And_ I get advantage to hit until the end of my next turn! So, I’m going to pull out my hammer and beat her up with it!"

He rolls. “Nine… okay, and-” he chokes as the die shows 20.

“For FUCKTH THAKE Egbert can you thop fucking breaking my game?!” Sollux cries out, pounding his fist on the table. “Your goddamn luck ith _thupid_!”

“Hey, it’s not _my_ fault the dice love me!” John challenges. “Okay, roll double damage… that’s eight more damage for a total of forty four damage in one go.”

“Oh my goddddd.” Dave looks to the heavens dramatically. "What the _fuck_ , John, I could use some of that _damage over here-_ "

“Hey, I’ll come back for you!” John protests. “I can’t leave my best bud hanging, let me trash this banshee and I’ll be back before you know it!”

“You _better_ , Egdork.” Dave says, and Sollux clears his throat.

“Right, the banthee ith going to attack you right on back with it’th corrputing touch. What’th your AC again?”

“I’ve got plate, so 18.”

“Cool.” Sollux rolls. “Well, that’th a nat 20, tho… fucking karma, bitch.” He rolls a _bunch_ of dice and counts. “Twenty three… twenty theven damage.”

“Ouch.” John moans, but marks it off. “Well, that makes it my turn and I still have plenty of spell slots SO- guiding bolt AGAIN.”

He rolls. “Well, that’s a five and a two, BUT- I am going to use my channel divinity guiding strike to add ten to my roll! So fifteen, that hits!”

Sollux rolls his eyes. “Alright, roll for damage.” He takes one look at the dice and shakes his head. “Don’t bother counting. You fucking blatht that bitch into nothingneth.”

“Woohoo!” John throws his hands up. “Radiant damage is fucking overpowered!”

“No, just againtht undead.” Sollux snarks back.

“Alright, fuck it, I’ll come back and search the room later, I gotta go help my best bud Dave!” John declares. “And Karkat.” He adds quickly. “I’ll run back through the corridor to to other room again.”

“Thure thing. While you’re doing that, back to you, Dave.” Sollux says. “It’s the necromancer’th move, tho he ith…” He checks his notes. “He’ll use vampiric touch on Karkat.” He rolls. “Hmm, yeah. Yeouch. Nat 20.”

“Ughhhhhhhh.” Dave groans. “Alright, what’s the damage?”

“Thixteen.”

Dave wrinkles his nose, but marks it off begrudingly. “Fucking Thunderous Revenge time, bitch.” He rolls. " _Fourteen damage_ , fuck you."

Sollux snorts, but just waits for Dave to take his turn.

“Alright, my turn then… fuck, uh… My HP is _major_ hurting, so I guess I better use a healing potion.” He rolls, “okay, nine, that’s pretty fucking good. _Fucking warlock shit health_ -” He grumbles.

“Go for Karkat.” Sollux reminds him.

“Right. Well, Might as well just use that last fucking bitch of a Divine Smite and go for it. Sixteen to hit?”

“That hith.”

“Then uhh… ten damage.”

“Cool. Thith bitch gonna lightening bolt again, dex thaving throw.”

“Come _onnnnnnnn_.” Dave complains, but rolls. He winces. “Sixteen for me and seven for Karkat.”

“Well… Karkat getth half damage anyway becauthe you’re a weenie, tho both of you take eleven damage.”

“Fucking ouch.” Dave mumbles, squinting at the numbers. “Yeah, John, can you get your ass back here already, cause Karkat’s one more of those away from getting fucked up for real.”

“I’m doing my best!”

“Your turn, Dave.”

“Fuck it I am going to cast _hold person_.” He says. “Wisdom saving throw, fifteen to beat.”

He crosses his fingers as as Sollux rolls. “Well.” Sollux says. “That’s an eleven. So you successfully hold the Necromancer.”

“That means Karkat goes- he’s going to drink a healing potion.” Dave says immediately. “One of our two big fuckers, how much does that do?”

“4d8+8.” Sollux says.

“Okay, so… six, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen… plus eight is 24. Thank _fuck_.” Dave says.

“As Karkat drinks the potion, you hear John come back up the hallway.”

“Holy shit, thought you were a goner, dude.” Dave says with a grin, lightly knuckling John’s shoulder. “Let’s get this fucking gate open.”

“Sollux can I try and lift the gate?” John asks.

“You can certainly fucking try.” Sollux says with a snicker. “Make a strength check.”

John rolls. “Fourteen.”

“Yeah that bitch doethn’t budge.”

“Fuck, is there any kind of lever in the room?” Dave asks.

“Investigation check.”

“Eleven.”

“Yeah, Karkat thpoth a lever between a couple of torture racks.”

“Okay, he’s going to go over there and pull it.”

“Thtrength check.”

"Fuck you, sixteen. It’s a  _lever._ "

Sollux shrugs.

“He pullth it and there’th a great rattling thound. The gateth thlowly rithe up. John, you’ll get added to the end of the order thice you’re joining in to the fight.” John nods his understanding.

“It’th the necromancer’th turn, but it’th the firth one tho he’th thill held- Dave, you have to thay concentrating to hold the thpell. Are you going to break it?”

“Hell no.” Dave says. “Go right ahead, John.”

John hums. “Well, it’s worked so far!” He says. “Fucking guiding bolt.”

“You have advantage becauthe the necromancer ith held.” Sollux says, so John rolls twice.

“Eighteen. Okay, damage… are necromancers weak to radiant?”

“No.”

“Alright. Fourteen damage. That’s my last level two spell slot so I hope this dude’s almost gone!”

“Yeah, he’th looking not tho hot.” Sollux says with a snicker, marking the damage down. “Karkat again.”

“He’s going to just attack that bitch. Fourteen?”

“Hith.”

“Okay- aw the fuck, a one? Well, he’s got the fucking uhhh…” Dave checks the sheet, “the bitch that lets him reroll shit damage.”

“Fighting thyle?”

“Yeah! That’s the bitch. Okay, reroll- nine fucking damage.”

  
  


  
  


  
  


Karkat will be the first to admit that he’s not a fighter. Before today, he’s punched only one other person—some dude back in high school he doesn’t even remember the name of now.

Karkat socked him in the nose because he made a bunch of homophobic comments towards him and Dave. The look on Dave’s face when the guy dropped to the floor was priceless, though Karkat was too busy panicking at the time to appreciate it. Karkat had grabbed Dave by the wrist and ran when a crowd of students started to form, and they hid out in the bathroom. Karkat’s hands didn’t stop shaking for an hour.

As much as Karkat could handle verbal confrontation, physical fights were an entirely different thing. Karkat had a short fuse but when he went off the handle he didn’t lash out with physicality, and that was mostly due to the fact he wasn’t coordinated. He’d rather fight with words than make an ass out of himself in a battle of fisticuffs.

But when your opponent is someone of few words who only recognizes physical strength, well…Karkat didn’t have much a choice, did he? Not that he was exactly struggling with his moral compass. Bro has a very punchable face, after all.

Karkat almost can’t believe his fucking luck when he manages to land his hit. Someone up there must like him, and believed wholeheartedly that Bro Strider’s comeuppance was long overdue. Karkat clips Bro in the chin, knocking him back a step.

He doesn’t let up, using Bro’s half-step backwards to continue attacking, shooting another jab at Bro’s stomach. Which also fucking hits, what the hell. The horseshoe wedged up Karkat’s ass must be in there real fucking deep.

Bro lurches forwards at the blow to his gut, but manages to recover quickly. He snaps out his arm to shove Karkat in the shoulder, then his other arm shoots up and strikes Karkat right under the eye. It knocks Karkat sideways, and the burning in his nose now spreads over to his eye, which already feels like it’s swelling shut.

As Karkat stumbles and corrects himself, he looks across the room with one eye and sees Jade grabbing Damara by the silk collar of her cheongsam and pulling her up to her feet. Damara blows smoke into Jade’s face, and struggles against Jade’s grip but Jade doesn’t budge.

Then Jade draws back her hand slaps Damara across the face so hard Damara’s head snaps to the side, and the sharp sound of Jade’s hand striking her cheek resounds through the room.

When Damara looks back at Jade her dark eyes are ablaze with fury. She spits in Jade’s face and takes her cigarette and crushes it into Jade’s arm. Jade grunts with pain, and her grip on Damara goes slack. Damara sneers viciously, but the look on her face quickly vanishes as Jade recovers, twisting herself around behind Damara and locking her arms around Damara’s neck from behind. Damara shrieks with rage, grabbing at Jade’s arms and struggling against her hold. Her nails are long and sharpened to talons, and they claw at Jade’s forearms, raking across and leaving red trails in their wake.

Jade pulls one arm away and grabs Damara by the hair and  _yanks_ . Damara cries out, thrashing in Jade’s grip now, face twisted into an ugly mask of rage and pain. Jade twists the both of them around and then pushes on the back of Damara’s head, putting all of her weight behind it as she brings Damara down head-first into the table next to the chaise lounge.

There’s a loud  **SLAM** . A half-finished cocktail on the table clatters to the floor and shatters. Damara crumples face-down to the floor, and is completely still.

Karkat’s jaw drops.

“ _Holy fucking shit_!” Karkat cries.

Jade stands upright and brushes the stray cigarette ash off the burn on her arm.

“That was for Dave.” she says to Damara’s unconscious form.

Karkat all of a sudden feels fucking  _giddy_ . He doesn’t even feel the pain in his face anymore, and he breaks out into a huge grin that should make his nose and eye burn with agony but he doesn’t feel a fucking thing except  _euphoric_ .

Jade suddenly flies across the room, yelling, “Eyes front, dummy!”

Karkat looks around and oh  _shit_ , right, he was supposed to be kicking Bro’s ass—

Bro is throwing another punch towards Karkat but Jade is there in a flash. She pulls the same maneuver she did with Damara and locks her arms around Bro’s neck from behind and holds him back, preventing him from landing his blow. Her grip is tight, choking the air from Bro’s lungs.

Karkat can see the bright red burn mark on Jade’s arm, skin broken and bleeding and still speckled with small flecks of black cigarette ash. There’s thin red rivulets across her forearms, deep scratches that break the skin in some spots, bleeding slightly. Bro’s hand comes up and pulls at Jade’s arms, right on the scratches, but Jade doesn’t even flinch.

She looks at Karkat over Bro’s shoulder, her green eyes glinting.

Karkat hasn’t stopped grinning. He steps forward and swings back his leg and puts all his weight and strength into his kick as he sends his foot right into Bro’s dick.

“That one’s _from_ Dave.” Karkat says as he watches Jade let go of Bro and he drops to the floor, groaning in pain.

  
  


  
  


Bro collapses to the floor, his breathing heavy and slightly shuddered. For a man who just got  _kicked in the dick at full power_ , he’s holding it together  _astonishingly_ well.

“… _I’ll get the money sorted out in the morning.”_ He grits out.

  
  


  
  


Karkat crouches down, elbows on his knees.

“Do you know where he is?” Karkat asks in a low voice.

  
  


  
  


Bro’s head tilts slightly- just a hair- towards Damara and her unmoving form.

“…yes.” He finally says.

  
  


  
  


Karkat looks up at Jade, whose eyes go wide at Bro’s confession. He’s sure his one eye that isn’t swollen is also wide with shock.

Karkat looks back down to Bro, keeping his voice low and even as he speaks.

“You’re going to open an account for Dave to access,” Karkat says, “But you will have _zero contact_ with him. I’ll make sure he gets the money. You just make sure it’s put in the account.”

Karkat knocks Bro’s glasses off his face. He’s surprised they’ve lasted this long without coming off. Bro meets his gaze, dark orange irises blazing with heat, but he stays where he is.

“And I’m bumping it up another five years,” Karkat says flatly, “See, I’m from the south. And it’s customary that a deal ain’t done until the two parties shake hands. And well, you broke the sanctity of that by going and bashing me in the face with your elbow. Where the fuck’s your _southern hospitality_?”

Karkat presses his palm flat against the side of Bro’s face, right against the red welt from his first punch, and pushes his head against the floor.

“You’re gonna put $15,000 in that account every year for the next _ten years_ ,” Karkat says, “And that’s _extremely_ generous on my part. That’s less than half of the amount of years you spent making Dave’s life a living hell. And if you try _anything_ , I’m bumping the time. Stay the fuck away from him, don’t come looking for him, just keep your fucking mouth _shut_ and _do what you’re told_. Got it?”

  
  


  
  


“Good,” is all Karkat says, taking away his hand.

He rises to his feet, and looks over to Jade.

“Let’s go find Feferi.” Karkat says.

Jade nods eagerly, stepping over Bro and over to Karkat, following him towards the door.

Bro watches them go without a word, sitting up and wiping his mouth.

As Jade and Karkat come from the private rooms, Feferi finds them. " _There_ you are!" She says, relieved. “I was worried, apparently there was a fight- oh my god, are you okay?!”

Karkat grins. “Never been better!”

Jade rolls her eyes. “He’s full of adrenaline and testosterone, he’s not fucking  _okay_ .” she says, flicking Karkat on the temple lightly.

She looks over at Feferi and her gaze turns serious. “Karkat got into a fight with Dave’s older brother.”

“And Jade dropped Damara’s fucking ass!” Karkat exclaims, “You should have fucking _seen_ it, holy shit, it was _incredible_ —“

Feferi’s face goes pale. "And you’re  _still walking?!_ " She gasps. “Holy shit- are  _they_ still walking!?”

She grabs their hands without waiting for an answer, dragging them back to the VIP lounge where it’s quieter.

“Tell me _everything_.” She orders, pushing them down into the booth again.

Jade excuses herself and comes back in a few minutes with a clean, damp cloth, and a glass of ice water.

She sits down next to Karkat as he tells Feferi about his encounter. Jade dabs at Karkat’s face, instantly soiling the white cloth red as Karkat continues to speak, not missing a beat as Jade dabs at the dried blood all over his mouth and nose.

“So now he’s gotta send Dave a monetary family gift every year of $15,000, for the next ten years.” Karkat explains animatedly, “Apparently that cocksucker knows where Dave is, I don’t know for how long he’s known, but to my knowledge he hasn’t been in contact with Dave. And he hasn’t tried to drag Dave back here so, guess he’s not as big of an asshole as he _could_ be?? But still. I told him he would have _zero_ points of contact with Dave. I don’t want Dave to have to talk to him or anything in order to get that fuckin’ money.”

Jade sits back and admires her work, the cloth now completely stained red. “Well, looks like your nose stopped bleeding. And it doesn’t seem to be broken but it’s gonna be super bruised. And you’re definitely going to have a black eye. Hope you’re a fast healer! Otherwise you’re gonna be all banged up when you see Dave in a week.”

“Oh shit, that reminds me,” Karkat says, looking between the two girls. “Nobody says a _fucking word_ to Dave about tonight. Not a fucking word! I have no fucking idea how he’d handle the news of me running into Bro _and_ Damara in the same fucking night and if I can’t be home to deal with whatever that reaction is, then I’d rather him not know at all.”

Jade pushes the cup of ice water toward him, and Karkat takes it and takes a long swig before continuing. “I’ll tell Dave everything when I get home,” he says, “But until then, I don’t want to upset and worry him. So nobody says a thing.”

Feferi listens intently, nodding and gasping in all the right places. Some of the color returns to her face as Karkat talks, her initial shock fading away in the face of awe of listening how Karkat  _ beat  _ _**Bro-fucking-Strider’s** _ _ ass _ .

“Promise.” She says, holding one hand up. “Scouts honor!” She giggles a little, dropping her hand, but then her expression goes contemplative.

“That’s a smart idea, not letting him contact Dave… but he knows where Dave is? That’s… really scary.” She folds her arms, cheeks puffing out slightly as she thinks, gaze skittering away in contemplation.

“I know. I guess it never occurred to me that he could figure it out? I don’t know how in the fuck he did, but…” Karkat sighs, “I mean, if he was going to go and get him, he would have done it already. Right? And besides, I already told that fucker if he tries anything funny, he’s sending money for even longer.”

Karkat takes another sip of water, swishing it around his mouth to get out the copper taste. If he ever saw Bro Strider again, he might actually just fucking kill him. But he keeps that thought to himself.

“Sorry about your arms,” Karkat says, looking over to Jade.

Jade waves a hand lightly. “You got it way worse than me! Trust me, I’ve gotten worse burns from a curling iron and worse scratches from Bec.” Jade smiles at Karkat and pats him on the leg. “I’m okay, really. It’s nothing compared to what she put Dave through.”

Karkat still looks at her roughed-up arms with a grimace, but his shoulders go slack and he sighs at the mention of Dave’s name.

“Look, sorry to cut the night short but, can we get out of here? I don’t want people staring at my Quasimodo-looking-ass face all night, and I’m feeling pretty tired.”

Jade nodded. “Yeah, that’ll be the adrenaline wearing off finally. Told ya that you aren’t superhuman, silly!”

“Yeah, yeah. Look, let’s just go.”

There isn’t much argument from anyone on that, and they’re out of the bar within minutes. Karkat doesn’t make eye contact with the bartender as they walk through the club, but he can feel his eyes on him and knows he can tell Karkat is definitely more banged up than the last time he saw him.

_You should see the other guy_ , Karkat thinks to himself, his mouth pulling into a satisfied little smirk.

He’s actually not all that tired. He’s sure he wouldn’t have needed the excuse to convince the girls to get out of the bar, but he keeps it up and feigns exhaustion for the trip back to Jade’s.

It’s not like he can tell them the real reason.

“Well, I’m gonna go clean up these cuts, grab a shower, and head to bed.” Jade announces.

She places a hand on Karkat’s good cheek. “Are you feeling okay, Karks? I can pull out my mattress and sleep out here with you tonight, if you want.”

Karkat shakes his head. “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll be alright. Thanks for everything tonight. Really. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Jade flushes, her lips trying not to pull into a smile. She doesn’t succeed. “Hey, you’re my ride or die! And you don’t gotta tell me twice to slap a rapist around. I was happy to help!”

Karkat scoffs lightly. “Yeah. Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

Jade winks, a cheeky grin spreading across her face. Then her eyes get tired. Narcolepsy finally catching up with her now that all the excitement is over. “Okay. Seriously. Time for bed.”

Jade heads off to the bathroom to clean up, and Karkat heads over to his suitcase to find his pjs. He shucks off his pants and unbuttons the red dress shirt, dropping them into the suitcase and pulling out Dave’s red plaid pj bottoms that he’d worn to bed the other night. He holds a pant leg to his nose, and can still smell a little bit of Dave on the fabric, but it’s starting to fade. It would likely not be there at all by the end of the week, taken over by Karkat’s scent. Karkat sighs, and pulls them on.

He forgoes a shirt, not wanting to put anything over his head right now. Plus, he was still hot from the exertion of the fight anyway. Karkat goes over to the kitchen and gets out an ice pack and wraps it in a cloth, pressing it under his eye as he goes back to the couch.

Jade comes out after a few minutes, body and hair wrapped up in mint green towels, checking in on him one last time. Karkat just gives her a thumbs up and tells her he’s good, go the fuck to sleep already, he’d see her in the morning. Jade laughs tiredly, and heads off to bed. Karkat listens to her footsteps fade out as she walks the short distance down the hall to her room.

Her door closes with a light click. Karkat sits on the couch for a few minutes more, keeping the ice on his face, moving it around every now and then. He gets up and pops the icepack back in the fridge after about twenty minutes of icing down his eye.

He walks back into the living room, plucking his phone off the table as he goes, and opens the door to the balcony, closing it behind him. Karkat sits out on one of the chairs on the balcony and brings up Dave’s number.

He hits call, smiling slightly when Dave’s picture fills up the screen, then he brings the phone to his ear and waits for Dave to pick up.

  
  


  
  


It’s a couple of rings before Dave picks up, but when he does, he sounds incredibly pleased.

“Hey babe, hows my most favoritest, most wonderfulist, most badass paladinist fiance doing tonight? Did you have fun at the club?”

  
  


  
  


“Are you alone?” Karkat asks in a low, even voice.

  
  


  
  


Theres a soft exhale. “Yeah.” Dave says, his tone going slightly softer. “I’m, uh. At your apartment again.”

  
  


  
  


“Good,” Karkat says softly. He stares up at the black-ink sky, wisped with gray clouds. His fingers drum slowly on the arm of his chair. “Have you been keeping yourself _distracted_?”

  
  


  
  


“Oh, yeah.” Dave laughs softly. “Sollux ended up _not_ getting shoved out the window because we decided on playing DND. It was a lot of fun, honestly, I played two characters, one for me and one for you babe and let me tell you, imagining you as a fucking knight in shining armor? _Phew_. Should _not_ be as hot as it is.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat’s lips pull into a small, but incredibly smug sneer. A knight in shining armour, huh? It almost makes Karkat want to spill his guts right here over the phone about everything that happened tonight. But he resists.

He has other plans.

Karkat chuckles, soft and deep. The way he knows makes Dave shudder. “Well, I’m glad you had some fun, baby.” Karkat purrs, “Think you can handle a little bit  _more_ ?”

  
  


  
  


Dave breathes out a slow, shuddering breath. “Yes. Fuck yeah- where do you want me, Karkat? Bed? Couch?”

  
  


  
  


“Well, I’m out on the balcony,” Karkat murmurs.

His lips pull into an even wider smirk as he whispers the next part into the phone in his best sultry bedroom voice. It’s coming to him  _a lot_ easier than it normally does this evening.

“ _Why don’t you come and join me?_ ”

  
  


  
  


“O-oh.” Dave stutters. "Yeah, okay- uhm, what do you want to be tonight?’ He asks breathlessly, and there’s the sound of the sliding door opening. “Just Karkat? Daddy? Something else?”

  
  


  
  


“Hmm, I’m glad you asked, baby,” Karkat hums, pleased.

He licks his lips.

“Tonight, you call me _sir_.” Karkat whispers, “And then Karkat when you cum, as usual. You know how much I love when you scream my name. Sound good, baby?”

  
  


  
  


Dave makes a pleased little noise. “Yes, sir.” He breathes, sounding eager. “Sounds good.”

  
  


  
  


“ _Good boy_ ,” Karkat says warmly, rolling the drawstring on his pants around one finger as he speaks, “Paint a little picture for me, baby. Tell me what you’ve got on, so I know what to tell you to take off.”

  
  


  
  


“Fuck- alright, uh- I’ve got jeans on, my faded black ones that my ass looks _great_ in, a pair of socks but no shoes cause I’m not a heathen who wears shoes indoors, then I’ve got just a basic ass t-shirt with your sweater over it. The dark grey one with the thick like. Ribbing shit? It’s got the vertical lines running through the fabric. And my shades of course.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat makes a low, contented hum deep in his throat that makes his chest vibrate. “I like when you wear all black. So sexy.” Karkat murmurs, “Did you do what I told you, and spray on some of my body spray?”

  
  


  
  


“Oh, uh- no, Sir, I… didn’t need to.” Dave mumbles. “You sweater stills smells like you, I didn’t wanna drown that out.”

  
  


  
  


“So cute,” Karkat chuckles. “Alright, let me paint my own picture. I’m sitting out on the balcony, and I’m wearing the same pants from last night, your red plaid pyjamas. Still smell a bit like you, but sorry to say it’s fading fast. But if there’s something that drives me even crazier than your scent, it’s your _voice_.”

Karkat crosses one plaid-clad leg over the other as he continues to speak. “And no shirt. Pretty humid out. And I know how much you like seeing me shirtless.”

Karkat is usually self-conscious as all hell about not having a shirt on. He’s not the type to go without, even in the comfort of his own apartment, even if he’s completely alone. Tonight Karkat doesn’t feel any of his usual nerves and trepidation. He’s cool, calm, and collected. Full-on dom mode. It bleeds into his every syllable, and he wonders if the air he’s letting off is so thick Dave can feel it all the way back in Chicago.

He hopes he can.

“I like seeing you shirtless, too, baby,” Karkat continues softly, “so let’s start by getting you out of that shirt and sweater.”

  
  


  
  


Dave gasps softly at being told his voice drives Karkat crazy, but all he says is, “yes, Sir-” breathlessly and then theres a funbling noise as his phone is put down. A couple of monents later, Dave’a voice returns and he says, “shirt and sweater off, Sir- just sitting out here on the patio with my tits out.”

  
  


  
  


“Watch your language.” Karkat breathes, “that’s no way to talk to your _superior_ , Dave.”

  
  


  
  


“O-oo _h_ -” Dave’s breath leaves him in a rush. “Yes, Sir.” He murmurs. “Sorry, Sir.”

  
  


  
  


“I forgive you, baby,” Karkat says, voice warm and sweet again, “Just don’t let it happen again. Need to keep things _professional_.”

Karkat leans back further in his chair, shuffling a bit to get more comfortable.

“So, sounds like you were able to stay pretty distracted this evening,” Karkat muses, “But, tell me…how many times did I cross your mind, anyway? How many times did you _almost_ get hard, but didn’t?”

  
  


  
  


“Uhm…” Theres a pause as Dave things. “Two times during the campaign, once after lunch but before that… right after I got up this morning.” He counts. “So four? Not sure if I’m missing any, Sir.”

  
  


  
  


“And what were you thinking about?” Karkat asks, smiling. “Maybe if you tell me about them now, it’ll make you hard for real.”

  
  


  
  


“This morning I was thinking about, um, you curled against my back, whispering in my ear. Telling me things you want to do to me.” There’s a pause before, shamefully, Dave admits, “I was half asleep… I started humping the bed but I caught myself Sir, I’m sorry.”

  
  


  
  


“That’s alright, baby. Mistakes happen,” Karkat says gently, “You’ve been such a good boy for me so far, I’ll give you a pass for that one. You were half-asleep, after all. Just try to be more careful. What else did you think about, sweetheart?”

  
  


  
  


A soft. shuddering breath of relief. “Thank you, Sir. I’ll do better.”

“I um, I thought about- you taking me over your knee.” Dave murmurs breathlessly. “Spanking me for almost breaking the rule. Giving me a nice reminder of my place to help me settle down.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat shifts in his seat. That  _definitely_ got his dick’s attention.

He pictures himself in a full suit with Dave across his legs, completely naked and ass bright red as Karkat spanks him, hard and rough. Dave jolts with every one, gasping at the sting, then whimpering as Karkat rubs and massages the area he just struck. Whispering encouraging, soft words as he runs his fingers through Dave’s hair.

He saves  _that_ one for later.

“Giving me _gold_ here, baby,” Karkat sighs, “Keep going.”

  
  


  
  


“Th… then, during the campaign- I was thinking about- how hot it aould be to, um- to kneel under the table and worship your dick as you played, everyone just- ignoring me, cause I’m where I’m meant to be, on- on my knees, servicing you.” Dave breathes. “Just you lazily fisting my hair and- pulling my head around, fucking my throat so casually- and no one even bats an eye about it-”

  
  


  
  


Karkat laughs softly, surprised at that one.

“ _Baby_!” he says, incredulous and breathless, “only you would find a way to make _Dungeons and Dragons_ sexy. Don’t know if John and Sollux wou—“

_Gahhh_ . He was letting the dom mentality slip. Karkat closes his eyes and breathes through his nose. Stupid cute Dave, distracting him. Stay focused, Vantas, eyes on the fucking prize…

Karkat opens his eyes. “What was the last one?” he asks quietly.

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs at Karkat’s incredulous words, and there’s a grin in his voice as he says, “well, Sir, you’re going to laugh at this one too, but- I made your character a paladin and my brain took that and ran with it, thinking about you as a big strong knight in gleaming plate armor, coming back from a quest and grabbing me and having your way with me, fucking me, your fair maiden, into the bed in all of your glory and your shining armor.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat blinks rapidly. Well, shit. If  _that_ wasn’t  _exactly_ the kind of mood he was in right fucking now.

God, if only Dave were here right now…Karkat isn’t even sure if he’d have made it back from the bar—he would have dragged Dave into an unoccupied private lounge and bent him over the couch, fucking him senseless.

This phone sex is torture. Karkat feels like he could breathe fucking  _fire_ right now. He’s on top of the world, he’s all-powerful.

Forget the knight. He can’t even think of the word without Damara coming to mind anyway.

No, tonight Karkat is a  _dragon_ . He snatched Dave up in his talons and whisked him away from the fortress he was trapped in. He flies away with him, and lays him down in a bed of gleaming treasure and takes him for his own. Dave is  _his_ forever, and  _nobody_ is taking him away again. And anyone who dares to try would be crushed in his claws, scorched by his fire, ripped to shreds by his teeth.

“Take off your jeans,” Karkat growls.

  
  


  
  


Dave gasps softly. “H-here?” He asks breathlessly, but there’s the faint sound of a belt clinking. “I’m doing it Sir, but-” he breathes out, slow and shuddery.

  
  


  
  


“Good. Just do as you’re told.”

  
  


  
  


“Yes, Sir.” Dave whispers. “Jeans off.”

  
  


  
  


“Good boy.” Karkat whispers, “so, how long have you been hard?”

  
  


  
  


“Um.” A pause. “Since I saw the call pop up.” Dave admits.

  
  


  
  


Karkat  _grins_ .

“Yeah?” he says, “I had one for the whole ride back from the bar, thinking about how I couldn’t wait to call you and hear your pretty voice.”

  
  


  
  


Another shuddering breath. “You like hearing my voice?” Dave asks softly, hastily tacking on a, “Sir?” at the end.

  
  


  
  


“Of course I do, sweetheart.” Karkat croons, smiling softly, “I love it, there’s so many different parts to it and I love every one. I never liked how anyone from home sounded, except for you. Your accent is sexy as hell, and I love how it comes out even more when you’re sleepy, or drunk.” Karkat’s voice turns amused at that.

“I like your calm, collected voice that you’ve got down to a fine art, but I love how animated it gets when you’re talking about things you’re passionate about. I love how sweet and gentle it gets when you get shy, or you’re being extra affectionate. I love how steady and low it gets when you’re aching to fuck me and trying to seduce me—and it works every time. And I love how shaky and desperate and _soft_ it gets when you want _me_ to fuck _you_.”

Karkat’s hips shift in the chair, his cock at full attention now. “Love hearing you say my name, in all those exact same ways.  _Especially_ the last one.”

  
  


  
  


There’s a wet little gasp from Dave, as Karkat talks. “I- oh, god.” He breathes. " _Karkat-_ " He whines softly, taking the hint, his voice soft and desperate and shaky, just like Karkat described. “Sir, I wish you were here right now. Wanna have you here to tell me these things…”

  
  


  
  


Karkat groans softly when Dave whimpers out his name, just like he imagined it.

“I wish I was there, too, baby.” Karkat breathes, his hips bucking upwards again. As if his body is trying to reach out for Dave’s across the distance. “I wouldn’t be fucking around with all this talk, let me tell you. Want to fuck you so bad right now it _hurts_.” The last word comes out in a low growl, practically through his teeth.

“If you were here right now, I would have slammed you up against a wall the moment we were alone, and kissed you breathless.” Karkat starts to rub his cock through his pants, biting at his lip, “Would have— _nngggh_ —hooked your legs around my hips and fucked you against the wall. So you’d have no choice but to hold onto me for dear life, grabbing tightly onto my shoulders, at my hair—all while I fuck you, hard and deep and _rough_ , until you cum all over my stomach—“

  
  


  
  


Dave gives a soft little moan. “Fu- _uuck_ , Sir, I want that- want you to do whatever you want to me, want your kisses-” He gives a tiny little choked off noise. “Want you to fuck me hard, make me  _feel_ it- nnngh- god, I’m so hard right now, Sir, got my knees crossed, the things you  _do_ to me-” He drops off into a low, throaty moan.

  
  


  
  


“I thought I told you to watch your language, _David_.”

  
  


  
  


Dave gasps. “S-sorry, Sir-”

  
  


  
  


“This time you won’t get off with just an apology,” Karkat chokes back a groan as he continues to rub against his hard cock. “How should you be punished? Can’t exactly put you over my knee right now.”

  
  


  
  


There’s a minute where Dave breathes, then he says, “um- you could- make me wait longer, or- not let me cum tonight, sir, or- um. Have me do something like- hold ice in my mouth or- make me take a cold shower?” He offers softly, apologetically.

  
  


  
  


Karkat mulls it over, humming to himself, even though he’s already made up his mind. He’s dragging it out.

He knows Dave told him he could be mean. That he liked it. But Karkat couldn’t bring himself to do it, regardless of the mood he was in right now. Hell, he still felt bad about calling Dave a slut the other night. It sort of just fell out of him, and he regretted it as soon as he said it.

And after tonight, after seeing the cruelty Dave had to endure for so long at the hands of his own brother, from Damara—

No. He didn’t want to be mean. He didn’t want to say hurtful things, or humiliate Dave.

He thought he could do this, thought he could make Dave strip down to nothing on the balcony, embarrass him, make him cum right there where—

Where anyone could see.

No.

_NO._

Fuck, what was he THINKING? Dave was HIS, nobody else’s, nobody else should be able to  _look_ at him, especially while Karkat can’t, he’s so far away—

“Go back inside, Dave.” Karkat says quietly, “Go to the kitchen and get some ice. You’ll hold it in your mouth until it melts.”

  
  


  
  


“Yes, sir.” Dave breathes, and there’s some shuffling, then the sound of the patio door sliding open, then shut. Then the phone is set down and there’s the faint sound of the freezer and then a faint, familiar _crackle-chunk_ of the ice tray being cracked and an ice cube being popped out.

“Okay, Sir, I have it.” Dave says, as the sounds of the ice tray being put away can be heard. “Back to the balcony?”

  
  


  
  


“ _No_ —“ Karkat nearly snaps out, but he grips the arm of the chair, and closes his eyes. Breathes in deep through his nose, and out through his mouth.

“No, stay inside. Go to our room.”

  
  


  
  


“Yes, Sir.” Dave sounds a touch relieved and then the sound of a closing door. “I’m sitting on the bed now, Sir, I’ll hold the ice.” A faint, wet noise and then a muffled, _“mm-hm?”_

  
  


  
  


“G-good. Good.” Karkat takes another deep breath, collecting himself.

He sits in silence for a moment, his fingers starting to drum nervously on his knee as he listens to Dave breathe through his nose. There’s a muffled sound of the ice being moved around in his mouth, it  _clacks_ againsts Dave’s teeth. Karkat’s heart is racing.

“If—if it’s too much, if you need to take it out…uh,” Karkat bites his lip. Shit. Dave can’t exactly say a safe word with the ice in his mouth. “Um…press a button on the keypad on the phone, so I can hear the beep. That way I’ll know you need to stop.”

  
  


  
  


Dave gives a soft little,  _“mm-hmm”_ of understanding, but it sounds hazy. Blissed out. His breathing is heavy, soft little noises coming from his throat, guttural and unintentional. No beep comes.

  
  


  
  


Karkat’s nervous finger-drumming gets faster.

His leg starts to bounce up and down rapidly, to the point it makes his whole body shake.

He presses his lips into a tight line, as though trying to hold himself back from saying something.

Still no beep.

Karkat breathes slowly in and out of his nose. He shifts his phone from one ear to the other. Turns up the phone volume.

Dave’s making little, wet noises through the speakers. Karkat can picture Dave sitting there on the bed, in his boxers and nothing else, the ice slowly getting smaller—but no less cold—in his mouth.

Dave’s mouth must be numb by now. If Karkat were in his position he’d already want to spit the damn ice cube out. But Dave doesn’t make any sounds of discomfort. If anything, his noises sound damn near  _euphoric_ .

There’s still no beep.

Karkat is once again grateful to be doing this—this  _first punishment_ —over the phone.

Dave isn’t able to see how fucking nervous he is. He can regard Karkat’s silence as Karkat being the strong, steadfast and collected dom he ought to be.

Not the terrified, anxious wreck he is right now.

Karkat bends over until his head is in his knees, feeling like he can’t breathe. How long until the ice melts? Will he ever hear a beep? Will Dave give in before that happens and just spit the ice out, or swallow it?

What if the ice is too big and Dave starts to choke? Karkat’s choked on an ice cube accidentally before, it was the scariest feeling ever. All he could do was sit there and wait for it to melt in his throat.

Karkat shakes uncontrollably, the phone pressed tightly to his ear so he can listen out for every little noise Dave makes, a beep,  _anything_ . His other hand grips tightly into his hair, pulling until his eyes water.

As if he needs to punish himself for punishing Dave.

  
  


  
  


Finally, a little wet gasping noise and then Dave’s panting softly. “Okay- Sir-” He breathes, his voice full of bliss, tongue clumsy from being numb. “The ice is gone- thank you- I took it all, did I- was I good?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat gasps like he’d been held underwater.

He sits up a little, still hunched over, holding his head.

“Y-Yeah,” he says, unable to keep the shakiness out of his voice and hating it. “Yeah, D, you—you did great. You did so good. Are you okay?”

  
  


  
  


“Mm-hmm,” Dave hums his agreement. “Tongues a bit numb.” He murmurs. “Feel good, though. Thank you, Sir.”

  
  


  
  


Dave’s okay. He’s okay. Karkat didn’t hurt him. He’s okay. It’s okay.

“Okay,” Karkat says weakly, his mantra still playing over and over in his head, making him feel disoriented.

_Dave is okay. He said he’s okay. I didn’t hurt him. He’s not in pain. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay._

  
  


  
  


There’s the sound of shifting and then the sound takes on that faintly-echo-y tone of speakerphone. “Love you, Sir.” Dave mumbles. “So good to me…”

  
  


  
  


Karkat can’t stop shaking.

“I, uhh—“ he swallows roughly, his throat thick.

_He’s okay. I didn’t hurt him. He’s okay. He told me he was okay. He told me he would stop if it was too much._

Feferi’s voice suddenly plays in Karkat’s mind.

_Dave probably doesn’t know how to stop._

_Subs can get caught in their own heads. They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear._

Karkat’s heart is pounding thickly in his ears, so much that it’s making his swollen eye throb. He can’t get a full breath in.

Dave would tell him the truth, wouldn’t he?

Or was he so caught up in being  _good_ , in  _servicing_ Karkat…

_I’m where I’m meant to be…_

“D-Don’t call me that,” Karkat gasps, “I’m—I’m Karkat. I’m just Karkat. I’m Karkat. I’m _Karkat_ —“

  
  


  
  


“Karkat?” Dave asks- soft, confused. “What- Karkat, what’s- are you okay?” There’s shifting, then the speakerphone tone is gone from the call, and Dave’s voice is hushed, close, “hey, hey- Karkat, what’s going on? I don’t- talk to me, please?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat feels his throat closing up, and he gasps for air, screwing his eyes shut as he feels tears start to spring up.

Fuck.  _Fuck_ , this was all wrong, he was messing this up—

He’d been so ready to do this, it’s all he could think about for the whole ride back to Jade’s dorm. Karkat had  _beaten up Bro_ , and only came away with a bruised, bloody nose and a black eye. He’d gotten Dave the justice he deserved.

But he wasn’t a dragon at all—he was a disgusting troll that had stolen Dave away, plucking him out of one prison and right into another. Locking him away in a cold, dark dungeon. Starving him of what he needed. Too much of a coward to give it to him.

And then when he tried to give it—he broke. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t be what Dave  _needed_ him to be. He thought he could do this, he thought after what happened with Bro he wouldn’t have these walls up anymore. The beast was supposed to be  _free_ —

But it was just a mangled, scared stray, cowering in the corner. Afraid to hurt anyone.

“I c-can’t—I don’t…” Karkat can barely get out words, can hardly _breathe_ , “I’m no good at this, I’m sorry, I’m _sorry_ —“

  
  


  
  


“Karkat, Karkat-” Dave sounds _afraid_ , scrambling to try and give Karkat reassurances, “no, it’s okay, it’s okay- you didn’t- you didn’t do anything _wrong_ , it’s okay- Karkat- I don’t- was it the punishment? Did I do something bad? Was it a wrong kind? I- we can fix this- it’s okay-”

  
  


  
  


“No!” Karkat shouts, horrified, “N-no, Dave, _no_ —you didn’t—you _didn’t_ —you were good, you were so good, I just—I just don’t like—“

The tears pour over freely now and  _fuck_ , it stings as they pour out of Karkat’s swollen eye, but he can’t stop them. His breath hitches on a sob.

“… _I don’t want to hurt you._ ” Karkat whispers brokenly, “I c-can’t, I won’t—I’m…I’m scared you’re not…you’re just saying it didn’t hurt so I w-won’t feel bad…”

Karkat wipes at his good eye and sniffles loudly, choking on his breath. “Y-you  _need_ this, you w-wanted this, a-and I can’t do it, I still can’t do it, I’m  _sorry_ —“

  
  


  
  


Dave breathes shakily. “It’s a good hurt.” He whispers, after a moment, his voice thick. “You said- there’s bad hurt and good hurt, right? It’s a good hurt. It feels good. It feels  _good_ , Karkat- I- I’m not  _lying_ , it hurt but it’s  _good_ hurt-”

  
  


  
  


Karkat shakes his head, even though Dave can’t possibly see it.

No, no, no—he’s lying, he’s only saying this so Karkat will stop being such a coward—

Dave wants to be used, hurt, and treated like property. It’s all he knows. It’s the only thing that’s comfortable.

Karkat’s been trying to show him another way. He wants Dave to see it. He wants him to understand.

_Please, I can be good to you, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never hurt you, please—_

**And yet you also want him to BELONG to you?**

**You’re a fucking hypocrite.**

Karkat keeps shaking his head, sobbing as more tears spill over.

**You’re no better than them. You just want him all to yourself like a desperate fool. You want to hide him away where nobody else will find him and pull your pleasure from him while starving him of what HE needs.**

No. No. No.

**You’re a fucking creep. A FREAK. And Dave is so used to this kind of cruelty and disgustingness that he’ll accept you no matter what.**

No!

**You’re no good for him.**

“It was a g-good hurt back then, too,” Karkat croaks, “When I—wh-when I m-made you switch—when you were _angry_ —“

Dave’s hands gripping at his hair, pulling hard,  _too_ hard—

Dave’s nails raking down his back, hard,  _too_ hard—

His voice—his  _voice_ , his voice—like venom. The only way Karkat never wanted to hear it. And yet it still sent chills up his spine— _confusing_ —saying such poisonous things but in  _Dave’s voice_ —it can’t be bad, it can’t be wrong—

It doesn’t hurt, because it’s Dave.

_It hurts._

It can’t hurt.

_It hurts._

Dave wouldn’t hurt him.

_It hurts._

“I’m sorry,” Karkat whispers, feeling sick. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

He can hear his own voice, broken and small and sobbing, pleading—

_I’m sorry, Dave, I’m so sorry—_

  
  


  
  


“Karkat, Karkat- Karkat-” Dave gasps, trying to get him to listen, to hear Dave, “it’s okay, no, it’s okay- it’s okay- it’s okay, I _promise_ , Karkat- I’m sorry, I fucked that up back then, it’s not your fault- don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, Karkat-”

  
  


  
  


“I _did_ ,” Karkat sobs, shaking his head.

No,  _no_ —this wasn’t about  _him_ , this was about Dave! Why were they talking about him now, this was supposed to be about Dave, he was supposed to be a good dom for Dave and here he is crying and fucking it all up.

“You d-didn’t do anything, it was all me—a-and now I c-can’t do anything right, I can’t do this for you, I WANT to, I need to, I need to or you won’t—you won’t—“

_Please, please stay with me._

**But you aren’t what he needs. And you never will be.**

“I m-messed everyt—hing up and now I can’t—“ Karkat chokes on a sob, unable to speak for a moment as he keeps gasping, “I’m—I’m no good—I’m no good for you, I’m wrong, I’m a _coward_ , I’m s-sorry—“

  
  


  
  


“No, no you’re not- You’re _not_ , Karkat, it’s okay- you don’t have to-” Dave chokes on his words, “you don’t- h-have to be my- dom- I don’t care, I don’t _care_ \- please don’t- you didn’t do anything wrong- I don’t care, just- just don’t- please, it’s okay-” Dave’s voice is wet and thick and he’s clearly crying. “I love you, I love you, please, Karkat- please- you’re not wrong or bad or- I _love_ you, please-”

  
  


  
  


Karkat rakes his fingers through his hair, frustration building despite the tears. “But I  _want_ to!”

He leans back in his chair, tears still slipping down his face, but his own crying always starts to slow down as soon as he knows Dave is upset, too. His breathing is still shaky and uneven, but he’s not hyperventilating anymore. He pushes down his panic and his frustration and everything else, and just focuses on breathing. On Dave.

“I love you, too,” Karkat whispers, closing his good eye. His breath hitches slightly, once, but he can feel himself coming down now.

Dave is crying. Dave was upset, he  _had_ to comfort Dave, he had to make Dave feel better.

“I _want_ to be your dom, Dave. I want to be your everything.” Karkat says quietly, “And I want you to be just as selfish as I am. I’m sorry I keep fucking this up. I want to try. I just can’t hurt you. I should have picked a punishment that wasn’t so dangerous. I did this to myself. I’ll do better. I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry…”

  
  


  
  


Dave falls silent at Karkat’s proclamation, but he sniffles slightly.

“I want you.” He whispers back. “I want anything you’ll give me- but I don’t want you to _hurt yourself_ trying to do it. It’s not your fault- I shouldn’t have given it as an option. I shouldn’t have-” He swallows. “It’s not your fault.” He mumbles. “I want _you_ more than I want you to be my dom. I don’t want- I don’t want you to feel like- like you _have_ to do this. I was- fine before, without it. I don’t want you to _force_ yourself to do something- something that you-”

Dave’s words falter, and he can’t finish his sentence.

  
  


  
  


Karkat’s chest aches, his head is pounding, his face hurts. Tears keep slipping down his face as he listens to Dave’s words.

“I’ll give you anything you want,” Karkat murmurs, “I never want to deny you anything. I’d tear down the fucking sky if you asked me to.”

Karkat leans forward in his seat, resting his elbow on his knee and pressing his forehead into his palm, trying to soothe the ache.

“I want to do this. I just need to figure out how.” Karkat sighs tiredly. “I don’t…I’m just figuring out my limits, I guess. I’m sorry. I thought maybe I could handle it, but…I just really don’t want to do anything that causes you any kind of pain. Even if you say it’s good I just—I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to believe it. I’m sorry…I…”

Karkat lets out a shaky breath.

“I’ll figure this out. I’ll keep trying, I’ll do better—I want to do right by you, Dave…I love you.”

  
  


  
  


Dave sniffles softly.

“I love you, Karkat.” He says softly. Aching longing clear in his voice. “You don’t need to- to be sorry. We can- we can figure out other stuff.”

He pauses. A swallow.

“I don’t want you to tear down the sky for me. I want to build a home with you.”

  
  


  
  


That kicks up the tears again, but it’s not the same panicked, gasping sobs from before. Karkat laughs, weak and wet through the tears, his heart squeezing as Dave’s words coil around it and hold on tight.

“You already _are_ my home.” he whispers.

  
  


  
  


Dave makes a soft, shuddering sound. " _Fuck_ ." He says weakly. “I- fuck, what am I supposed to say to that, Karkat?” He gives a laugh, wet and soft, matching Karkat’s perfect. “You’re  _my_ home, you absolute- you complete door lock of a man.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat scoffs, light and breathy. “I think the word you’re looking for is  _doorknob_ ?”

  
  


  
  


“No.” Dave sniffles, but there’s a fond grin in his voice. “Cause you’re always there and make me feel safe.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat wipes at his good eye. He almost scrubs at his nose too, but realizes that would probably fucking hurt, so he just sniffles wetly.

“Dammit, Dave. You know how weak I am for schmaltz.”

  
  


  
  


“Does that mean it’s making you feel better?” Dave asks hopefully, and there’s the sound of him flopping down onto the bed. “Because like- it’ll go ahead and tell you all about how you’re like a ton of-” sniffle, “other boring household things.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat smiles softly, looking out across the balcony as he listens to Dave shuffle around on the bed—his bed,  _their_ bed—

“Boring?” Karkat laughs quietly, “Well, then I guess I may as well be a doorknob, too, if I’m like a bunch of other boring household shit. Unless you find a way to wax poetic about it and make it sound Shakespearian as fuck, like— _shall I compare thee to a light switch? For thou turneth me on_ —which actually sounds terrible, so please don’t. Just…tell me about the campaign? You didn’t get my character killed, did you? You said I was a paladin?”

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs wetly, but there’s a grin to his voice. “I dunno, babe, I think we could have a pretty good Shakespeare-off. But- yeah, um. All of us made it out alive. I made you a half-orc paladin because, well- orcs are big sexy and you fit the paladin archetype  _sinceyourealwaysprotectingme_ .” He mumbles the last part, then clears his throat. “I made you a storm paladin because they’re badass as  _fuck_ .”

  
  


  
  


_You’re always protecting me._

God, if Dave only knew.

Karkat wants to tell him, wishes he’d gotten the moment on fucking camera so Dave could see it for himself.

_I’ll always protect you. I’ll fight anyone who comes between us, I’ll destroy anyone who dares to hurt you. I won’t let anyone but me touch you ever again…_

Karkat closes his eyes, smiling. Suddenly the bruises all over his face don’t ache at all. The blood and the pain was all worth it, knowing Dave was safe.

“Yeah, I would be pretty fuckin’ offended if you picked anything other than storm.” Karkat says, “Let me guess, you were a tiefling for the millionth time.”

  
  


  
  


Dave sniffs, but it’s fake-offended this time. “I resent the implication that I have done anything  _wrong_ by picking a tiefling.” He says. “Tieflings are hot and gay and no one gets to say anything to the contrary.”

  
  


  
  


“Aw, come on. You _know_ I think you’d be sexy as a tiefling.” Karkat says with a smirk, “You’d look super hot with big horns and a tail.”

  
  


  
  


“Halloween costume idea, maybe?” Dave offers, tone amusedly contemplative. It sounds like his tears have dried up, but there’s still a stray sniffle now and again. “But um- yeah. Tiefling warlock. Sollux had us running a campaign called The Twin Castles, and-”

Dave gives Karkat a brief little rundown on the premise of the campaign and their adventures.

“You should’ve seen it-” Dave says, relaxed and happy after getting to just infodump for a bit to Karkat about the game. "- this bitch was dumping some massive damage everywhere but because it was lightening I got Sollux to agree to half it for you as a storm paladin. It was seriously dropping damage on me, though, but your rolls were _so_ fucking good, baby, you went in there and _beat that necromancer’s ass._ "

  
  


  
  


While Dave is regaling Karkat with the story of his campaign, Karkat finds his headache lifting, the ache in his chest easing. Eventually he winds up curled up in the chair, laughing and adding in little bits of commentary here and there but otherwise just letting Dave ramble on excitedly about the adventure. He loves listening to Dave get excited about stuff like this, and it soothes Karkat just to know Dave is happy.

It sounds like he had a really good time with Sollux and John. The four of them had plenty of game nights over the last few months, and as Dave talks excitedly about all the highlights of the adventure, Karkat feels an envious pang in his heart. He wishes he could have been there.

Then again, he wouldn’t want to trade what happened tonight for anything. Even if it meant sacrificing a fun evening in with Dave and their friends.

It only makes Karkat all the more eager to get home, so he can tell Dave everything. Even if he’s a bit nervous about Dave’s reaction.

“Sounds like you really had my back for that fight,” Karkat says with a soft laugh, “Thanks, baby. Now look who’s protecting who.”

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs. “Yeah, well, it’s only because I love you so much.” He teases. It’s like everything that happened before was wiped away and it’s just the two of them talking like nothing happened. “It’s the power of love, baby, keeping our characters alive and together, fit for a DreamWorks TV show season finale. No fucking way I’d do that shit for John’s character- so you  _better_ feel the love, all the way over there in California. Like a fucking beacon of light in the sky, fucking  _Your Name_ style.”

He sounds so much more fond and just…  _happy_ , like there’s nothing in the world that could make him upset in this moment.

  
  


  
  


“I’m definitely feeling it, babe.” Karkat says, grinning now. “Although I have no clue what “ _Your Name_ -style” is supposed to mean. Oh man, this is another otaku thing, isn’t it?”

  
  


  
  


“You don’t-” Dave gasps. “Okay, fuck everything else, tomorrow is movie night. You better not have any plans because I _know_ you brought your laptop so we are watch-together-ing this movie tomorrow.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat was very much expecting the affronted gasp from Dave, and grins even wider when he hears it, laughing at Dave’s godawful sentence structure—he quickly stops giving a fuck about that kind of shit when he’s super excited, and the thought of it just makes Karkat’s chest feel even lighter. It’s hard to believe he was crying a few minutes ago.

He’s pretty sure he’s gonna be way too fucking sore and messed up looking to be seen out in public tomorrow anyway. Maybe Jade can go out with Feferi and Karkat can just hang out inside all day, taking it easy and watching some movies with Dave.

“Mm, nope, no plans. The girls ran me ragged tonight. Way too much socializing. This introvert has gotta take a day to charge his fuckin’ batteries. So movie night with my handsome fiancé sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Gimme a little summary, what’s this movie about? This isn’t going to be like _Grave of the Fireflies_ , is it? You and I both cried like bitches at that one. You keep subjecting me to the anime sads and they just fucking hit different.”

  
  


  
  


“Well-” Dave hedges, “crying, maybe? But it’s happy crying, sort of? Mostly? The premise is a city boy and a country girl keep waking up in each other’s bodies and hilarity and drama ensue.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat blinks. “A fucking  _bodyswap_ premise? With opposites attract??” Karkat sits up further and further in his chair as he speaks, “It’s a fucking romantic comedy! Why the fuck haven’t I heard of this movie before.”

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs. “I dunno, maybe cause it’s anime?” He teases.

  
  


  
  


“Well, shit, if I had fucking known I was missing an entire _subgenre_ of potential romcoms this entire time I would have changed my goddamn tune pretty quick! What the hell. You’re gonna have to show me all the rom-com anime you know, now. My collection is obviously severely lacking.”

  
  


  
  


“Well shit, babe, if I had known that’s all it’d take I would have told you _months_ ago, but nooo it’s all ‘BUT IT’S ANIME, DAVE’ and ‘I DON’T _LIKE_ ANIME, DAVE’-” Dave imitates Karkat’s grumbling tones.

  
  


  
  


“All you would have had to say was ‘ _but karkat it’s a rom-com_ ’,” Karkat matches Dave’s impression with one of his own, “And I would have followed you into Otakuland like Alice chasing the white rabbit. Only the rabbit is wearing shades and instead of singing about being late, he’s beat-boxing.”

  
  


  
  


Dave huffs another laugh, then pauses. “You know, I think I’ve seen an anime like that.” He muses. “Wait, does this mean you’ll watch romcom  _shows_ with me too? Because there are like- five that I bet you’d  _love_ .”

  
  


  
  


“Oh god, there’s an anime for _everything_ ,” Karkat says, “So I guess I should have fucking figured there would be anime rom-coms, too. Of course I’ll watch them with you.”

  
  


  
  


“Oh hell fucking yes. I hope you’re ready for a romcom where the main character swaps genders all the time, has like five different people after him, and they all have extremely wacky martial arts fights.” Dave says cheerfully.

  
  


  
  


“What the fuck. Eat your fucking heart out, Adam Sandler.” Karkat says, eyes going wide, “Dude that sounds like, seven animes rolled into one.”

  
  


  
  


“No, really!” Dave says with a laugh. “It’s called Ranma 1/2- the main character is a guy cursed to turn into a girl whenever he gets hit with cold water, and hot water turns him back. His dad is also cursed, but it’s to become a panda instead. He’s been unknowingly engaged by his dad to the daughter of a dojo master who has to the kick the ass of all the boys at her school every day because they all want to date her.” Dave explains eagerly.

  
  


  
  


Karkat sits fully upright in his chair now, listening intently. “Holy shit, okay—so more body-swapping magic, an arranged marriage, and there’s martial arts—is this like some Scott Pilgrim-level shit, where he’s gotta beat up all these dudes to win the girl’s heart? Oh man, is this a slow burn? It’s an arranged marriage, right? So it’s got like an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers type of thing? That’s my fucking shit. This is only the first one you’re telling me about and it’s like you went on an elevator and just ran your hand over  _all_ the buttons, because this is hitting every one.”

  
  


  
  


“Oh, no, the girl doesn’t want anything to do with it!” Dave says gleefully. “She gets pissed at the idea of being forced to marry someone, and tells Ranma off if he tries to fight anyone for her. It’s absolutely a slow burn, compounded by the fact that both of them have a number of people wanting to date and or marry them! Hold on, lemme count-” Dave does some quick math. “Akane- the girl- has uh… two? Three? I think three named characters after her, not including Ranma, and Ranma has three girls and a guy who’s after his girl form, and one of those girls _also_ has a fiance who wants to kill Ranma, and each one of Akane’s guys wants to beat up Ranma- but one of those guys is the one after Ranma’s girl form!”

  
  


  
  


“Holy fucking shit, I’m gonna need a goddamn _shipping chart_ for this show.” Karkat says in awe.

  
  


  
  


“Oh, _absolutely_.” Dave agrees. “It’s a masterful _clusterfuck_ of shipping and romance.”

  
  


  
  


“This is amazing. I can’t wait to watch this with you and we can both scream at how frustrating the characters are together.” Karkat says eagerly, “Okay, hit me with the next one, I’m all fucking ears. You got me _enraptured_ , babe.”

  
  


  
  


“God yes. Okay, the next one is another classic- fucking Ouran High School Host Club which features- drumroll please- a girl who dresses up as a boy! She accidentally breaks a expensove vase and gets pulled into the host club of her school- which is where boys hang out and entertain girls. She’s a poor student in a rich kids school and it’s _fan fucking tastic_ watching her be annoyed by rich people dramatics.”

  
  


  
  


“Is it just like a prerequisite for anime rom-coms to have some manner of gender-swapping?” Karkat asks lightly, “also let me guess—every single member of this club falls in love with her. Oh my god, is this one gay? Do they not figure out she’s a girl?? Holy shit.”

  
  


  
  


“Who the fuck knows!” Dave says cheerfully. “But a lot of the best ones have _some_ kind of transformation or gender fuckery involved! I don’t know about _love_ but all of them like her quite a bit! They don’t realize she’s a girl at first sight but they find out and the main love interest gets _sooooo_ flustered.”

  
  


  
  


“Okay, mark me down as fucking intrigued.” Karkat says.

Karkat is a fucking  _idiot_ , not letting Dave talk his ear off about anime like this before. He knew Dave was a big fucking nerd, but normally Dave kept his anime obsession fairly low-key and to himself. Karkat would come by Dave’s dorm to find Dave and John and Sollux all watching some form of goddamn anime together in the living room, and Dave seemed to be enjoying himself for sure but there was always this vibe of “I’m mostly doing this for the irony” to it.

But this? This was pure, unadulterated passion and excitement and  _joy_ . Dave got rambling about lots of things he found interest in, but never like this. He sounded so goddamn  _excited_ , and his happiness was contagious. Karkat couldn’t help smiling just for the fact he knew Dave was, too.

“Okay, so Ouran isn’t gay, but what’s this one I keep hearing about—the characters all ice skate at the Olympics or something? Have you watched that one?”

  
  


  
  


“Oh my _god_ yeah, Yuri on Ice- that one is _so_ fucking gay dude- let me tell you, I never thought something like _Ice Skating_ could make me cry but turns out it can!” Dave laughs. “I cannot _wait_ to see you bawl your eyes out over the sheer fucking _emotions_ that some dudes skating around on ice can drag out of you.”

  
  


  
  


“I don’t doubt my ability to cry at the drop of a hat over basically anything,” Karkat says, “If I can cry at reality TV, I can cry at some animated gay dudes ice skating.”

  
  


  
  


“You know what, that is very true.” Dave teases. “I’m pretty sure I caught you crying over fucking _Real Housewives Of New York_ one time so like- really, I should be expecting you to bawl at some point or another over all of these anime.”

  
  


  
  


“Every fucking anime you’ve shown me made me cry!” Karkat exclaims, “I cried when that girl in _Spirited Away_ ate that rice ball and just got so overwhelmed she started bawling. I cried when Kiki couldn’t hear her cat talking to her anymore. I cried when the little sister fucking died in _Grave of the Fireflies_ , I cried when that girl lost her niece and her hand in _In This Corner Of The World_ —every fucking anime you’ve managed to convince me to watch so far has been so fucking sad, I was just convinced all anime was either perverted as fuck, a bunch of muscle-bound dipshits having one battle that lasts for sixty fucking episodes in a row, or way too goddamn sad! Or somehow a combination of all three. So please, for the love of god, show me the rom-coms.”

  
  


  
  


There’s a long pause.

“You know, that is a very fair point.” Dave says sheepishly. “But- _in my defense-_ all the best animated movies are the ones that make you cry.”

  
  


  
  


“To be fair, I’m also just…a very easy crier,” Karkat admits, “But that is also a valid point.”

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs a little. “Alright, uh… let me think, I had a couple of othe- OH right, fucking what’s it called- goddamn Fruits Basket is another one! That one the main character doesn’t have anything funky going on but everyone else around her does- she ends up living with a group of people who all turn into animals when hugged by someone of the opposite gender. They’re all the animals from the Chinese Zodiac!”

  
  


  
  


“Sounds heteronormative as fuck, but if it’s cute enough I can give it a pass.” Karkat says with a shrug.

  
  


  
  


“It is fucking _adorable_. I never actually finished that one so I have no clue who the girl ends up with.” Dave admits. “It’s full of wacky hijinks and touchingly emotional moments, though, so- _absolute tearjerker_ , even moreso than the others.”

  
  


  
  


“Well, goddammit.” Karkat sighs, “Fuckin’ whatever, I’ll just stock up on tissues, I guess. Even if I’m a snivelling wreck 80% of the time for this, I still want to watch them with you. You get so excited talking about it, it’s kind of the cutest fucking thing ever and I really wish I was home right now so I could kiss you.”

  
  


  
  


“I wish you were home too, Karkat.” Dave says, his voice going fondly soft. “But- hey, two down, four to go, right? Almost halfway. You’ll be back before we know it, you said so yourself.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat hums. “Yeah, I know. Could go by faster, though.” he says, laughing a little at getting his own words thrown back at him.

How in the hell had he managed to get through those five years? He couldn’t even handle a  _week_ , and that was with being in contact with Dave every day.

“Just miss you, baby.” Karkat whispers.

  
  


  
  


“Miss you too.” Dave says back, just as soft. “I liked falling asleep yesterday on the phone. Was nice to hear you breathing.”

  
  


  
  


“Me, too. You went out like a light,” Karkat recalls, voice light and breathy, “I was out pretty soon after you were, but I just let the call keep going so I could listen to you.”

  
  


  
  


“Pretty glad I have unlimited minutes, cause I wanna do it again tonight.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat smiles. “Me, too. We can every night, if you want. It’s nice, having the last thing I hear before I sleep to be you.”

  
  


  
  


“…yeah. I do…” There’s a pause, then Dave says softly, “it… helps. It helps a lot.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat’s expression goes soft, and a little sad. “I know what you mean. It helps me, too.”

He looks up at the moon, hidden slightly by thin gray clouds. “God, we’re hopeless, huh?”

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs softly, but there’s a nervous edge to it. “Yeah- I just-” he swallows. “I just keep getting like-  _really_ stupid thoughts and it’s dumb but- having like-” his words come out in a rush, " _having you do things like fall asleep on the phone with me really helps get rid of them._ "

  
  


  
  


Karkat perks up at that, his expression slipping into a look of shocked concern, and his heartrate instantly picks back up again.

“Like…like what? Talk to me, D. What’s going on in there? How long has this been going on?”

  
  


  
  


Dave exhales sharply, and his voice is quiet as it comes through the phone. “I- I dunno- yesterday, I guess- it’s stupid-” he cuts himself off with a frustrated noise. “I mean- no, it’s  _not_ , but- the ideas are s- are ridiculous because  _logically_ I know it’s not true but-”

"But I can’t stop thinking about  _‘what if you decide to stay in California’?_ " Dave mumbles. “Or what if- something happens and you can’t come back- or-”

  
  


  
  


“Dave, Dave—“ Karkat stands up from his chair and grabs onto the railing when he feels his legs get wobbly beneath him, a mixture of sitting for so long and the sudden onslaught of fresh nerves. “Bud, slow down, hey—listen to me…”

A nervous yet incredulous laugh breaks out of Karkat’s throat. “Dave,  _I fucking hate it here_ .”

“I hate the heat, I hate the pompous stuck up assholes and their stupid big houses, I hate the food, I hate that this place was such a toxic wasteland for you all those years—“ Karkat swallows thickly, “I hate this place more than I ever hated Houston. Because at least in Houston I had _you_. And you make anywhere better. And I liked Chicago fine enough, but then _you_ were there and now we’re together and we made that stupid little soapbox of an apartment our _home_ and I know you still stay in the dorm with John and Sollux and you’re only there a couple nights a week but it’s _still your home_. I don’t care where we wind up in life, because home is _wherever you are_ , Dave.”

Karkat throws out his arm for emphasis, gesturing to the city before him, even though Dave can’t see him. “You think I want to stay in this smog-infested shithole? I wanted to turn back the moment I got here. Shit, I never even wanted to get on the plane! All I wanted to do was keep standing there in that terminal kissing you. All I want to do right now is hold you. Maybe shake you until your teeth rattle a little because,  _god_ , you fucking fool—if I had it my way, I’d pack my bags and leave  _right fucking now_ , and go back home to you where I  _belong_ .”

Karkat feels an irritation slipping into his voice, blown away by the  _ridiculousness_ of all this, the fact he even needs to  _say_ any of this right now. But it doesn’t matter. He’ll say it as many times as it takes until it sticks.

“ _You_ **are** _my home, Dave Strider._ ”

  
  


  
  


Dave is silent as Karkat talks, and his voice is wet again as he says softly, “I know. I  _know_ , Karkat- I love you so fucking much and I  _know_ that it’s not true and that you love me and you’d never want to stay there, and I know that you’ve got all these things here besides me that would bring you back like your job and your apartment so even with factors outside me you’d still be coming back so I know that it’s not true, it’s so fucking  _stupid_ for me to be worried about because, duh, you fucking  _love me_ so of  _course_ you wouldn’t  _ever_ stay there and leave me behind, but…”

Dave trails off unhappily. “But… my brain just keeps fucking going  _but what if he does it anyway_ .” He mumbles.

  
  


  
  


“Fuck my stupid apartment and fuck my stupid job,” Karkat barks out, “If you told me you’d decided to drop out of fucking school and…I don’t fucking know, cross the fucking border and move to Canada—and you were all like _surprise babe I’m a Canadian citizen now, ‘bout to go ride a moose to a hockey game what up_ …well then I’m picking us up fucking jerseys for whatever fucking teams are playing on my way over there. I don’t know. I know literally nothing about Canada. The point I’m trying to make—really fucking poorly—is that the only thing keeping me in Chicago is the fact _you_ are there. And if you are ever not happy being in Chicago, then we’ll go somewhere else. I go where you go. You big fucking dummy.”

Karkat sighs gratingly, shaking his head in exasperation. “I’ll drill that into you as much as I have to. As much as every other rule. It’s a fucking  _forever rule_ , got it? There, let me put in some fucking terms you can understand. I am not going  _fucking anywhere_ .”

  
  


  
  


" _Oh._ " Dave says softly, breathlessly. “I-” A wet swallow. “Okay. Yeah. I- yeah.” He gives a soft, watery laugh. “I think- it would probably be a bit insulting to just- just say  _ditto_ , right? Bu I- me too, Karkat. Me too- I don’t care where we are. I just want to be there with  _you_ . Anywhere- it doesn’t matter.”

  
  


  
  


“I know I can’t stop you from having those intrusive thoughts; it’s just how your brain is, and I can’t force you to stop it any more than you can stop my brain from doing the dumb shit it does on a regular fucking basis.” Karkat says, voice firm but understanding, “Just…promise me, whenever those doubts do pop up, whenever those stupid thoughts come into your head—and this goes for any time, not just this week—come to me. Call me. Text me. Whatever it is. And…and we can have a code word for it, or something, like…I don’t know, you can pick it, I guess. That way I’ll know you need me to remind you that I’m not going anywhere.”

  
  


  
  


“I- yeah. Okay. Um. That sounds good. I don’t… I don’t _like_ having this kinda shit in my head- so. Just getting an easy reminder is… nice.” There’s a moment of contemplation, before Dave says, “how about uh. I dunno. Tangerine. That’s easy enough to remember and not something that I’d use normally.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat nods stiffly to himself. “Tangerine. Sure. Okay, I can remember that.”

  
  


  
  


Another moment of silence.

“…thanks.” Dave says quietly. “I- Thanks for… pu- um. Being patient with me. I don’t think I could… do it. Could handle dealing with me.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat caught the dither in Dave’s voice, how he quickly corrected himself, and he sighs again, loudly. Making sure Dave can hear it.

“Dave, you know I don’t _put up_ with fucking anything.” Karkat says tersely, “I told you before. Everyone has their shit, remember? You don’t just _put up with_ my bad days, do you?”

  
  


  
  


“…no.” Dave mumbles.

  
  


  
  


“Exactly,” Karkat says, “Whatever this is, we’re going to figure it out together. And you can “tangerine” me any fucking time of the day, even if we’re in mid-conversation and I’m sitting right next to you. And _especially_ if I’m thousands of miles away. Okay? And that goes for whatever other negative shit goes through your head. We can have a whole fucking _fruit bowl_ of words for this, I don’t care. Just please…I’m here. I’m _always_ here, I’m always going to be here so just…come find me.”

  
  


  
  


“I know.” Dave says, exhaling roughly. “I know. And I- god, Karkat. I don’t fucking know what I’d do without you.” He gives a soft, almost-bitter laugh. “I love you so goddamn much that it’s _scary_ and you just- you’re just fucking here with me, telling me that we’ll get through it and you’re here for me and I just- I don’t know how to fucking deal with that, you know? Like- it doesn’t seem fucking real, like at any moment god’s just gonna turn around and say _‘whoopsie that wasn’t meant to happen’_ and just pick one of us up and shove us somewhere else. Like- I fucking love you so _goddamn_ much and _fuck_ I’m crying again I would really like to _stop_ doing that, please-” Dave gasps, and there’s a disgusting wet _snnnnrk_ of him clearing his throat, “and I _know_ you have my back and I know that you love me. I know it. I _know_ it. I want to be with you. I want to be at your side and love you and get to fucking grow old with you. I want to be every stupid couple in every fucking romcom you like, doing all the sappy dumb shit and falling in love all over again every single fucking day no matter how many fucking times I have to chuck a fucking fruit salad of bad days at your feet.”

  
  


  
  


“You know what those rom-coms never show?” Karkat says, “What happens after the credits are done rolling. That’s where we’re at, D. We’re in the after credits. Nobody ever shows that because, well, it looks like this. It’s not hearts and flowers and fluffy pink bullshit, it’s _work_. It’s a lot of fucking work. But people put in the work because it’s worth it. _You’re_ worth it. Even if you don’t believe you are most days. Just keep beaning me upside the head with whatever fucking fruit that line of thought falls under and I’ll keep telling you how dumb you are. Because you’re _always_ going to be worth it.”

  
  


  
  


Dave sniffles. “Yeah.” He says softly. “Yeah, I- yeah.” He laughs wetly. “You’re worth it too, Karkat. You’re more than worth it. And you- you know this goes for you too, right? If you ever- get anything like that, you can tangerine too, okay? I don’t wanna like- I dunno, put everything on you.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat blinks at that, finally losing his frustrated grimace. Then it softens into a small smile.

“Y-Yeah, D. I know. Thanks, babe.”

  
  


  
  


“I love you,” Dave mumbles, “and I don’t want to lose you. Maybe- fuck, I dunno. Maybe we do need a whole fucking fruit salad bowl of words.”

  
  


  
  


“I’m starting to think that might be a good fucking call,” Karkat says, sighing gently, “You’re not gonna _lose_ me, dumbass. Even if you topple a whole fucking fruit stand on me. What uh…what other things are there, that you think we gotta make up some code words for?”

  
  


  
  


“Uhm… Fuck, good question.” Dave huffs softly. “Hold on, lemme like… get something to write on cause I bet I’ll forget it otherwise.”

There’s some moving around, then the sound of Dave flopping down onto the bed again. “Okay, um… tangerine for- IDK,” he says it out loud, eye-dee-kay, “uh… negative feelings catch all? Or something?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat sits back down on the chair while Dave busies himself getting something to write with, and starts to mull it over.

“I dunno, if it’s a ‘catch-all’ then why bother with other fruits and shit, right?” Karkat says as he pulls his legs up onto the chair. “Tangerine could just be, like…doubtful thoughts? Like when you think I’m going to live in the shittiest sunshine state on the planet next to Florida, or I’m worried that you’re going to find someone much smarter and sexier than me when you start your job at Skaia, and they’ll sweep you off your feet and make you forget all about my short brown ass.”

Well, that sure was a thing he just admitted out loud. “So yeah. Tangerine. Doubtful thoughts.”

  
  


  
  


“Doubtful thoughts sounds good.” Dave says, then adds, “You don’t gotta be worried about that though, babe- cause realistically, you’re pretty much it for me. Ain’t no one else ever come close.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat opens his mouth to argue, but clamps it shut. He didn’t want this to spiral and veer off topic. So he acquiesces, albeit reluctantly, and continues.

“Right, well, ditto. In case you’ve ever, uh—had the same tangerine about that particular thing. Uh…anything else? Do we need a ‘bad day’ fruit, or something else along those…limes?”

What the fuck, Vantas.

  
  


  
  


"That sounds good.  _Hah, sour for a sour day._ " Dave mutters under his breath as he writes it down. “Just like a… ‘this is a fucking shit day’ fruit. Never liked limes anyway, don’t really see what all the fuss is about.” There’s a tapping of the pen on the notebook that Dave is writing in.

“Um.” Dave hesitates. “So, uh. After our… talk yesterday about like. Doing this together and… being new at this shit, I kinda did some. Research.”

  
  


  
  


That takes Karkat aback. “Research?” he echoes, surprised. “Well, shit. Let’s hear it. God knows I need to be schooled on this fucking shit, because Feferi’s crash course clearly didn’t cut it.”

  
  


  
  


“I dunno, I guess it’s like.” Dave exhales, a frustrated noise. “I lot of it should probably wait to be talked about when like, you’re home but- I just. Even just fucking reading _Wikipedia pages_ just… drives home how… like. How fucking _wrong_ everything I… I thought I knew was.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat’s face turns grim, his mouth pulling into a tight line as he listens to Dave speak, struggling over his words, sounding so frustrated with himself.

“Dave, listen to me. You weren’t the one who was wrong about this. You were—fuck, a fucking _child_ , a literal fucking child that got dragged into Damara’s fucking viper pit by your own goddamn brother. And you had zero frame of reference for what any of that stuff was _supposed_ to be like. You were this untouched piece of clay and she got her fucking claws into you and shaped you to her design. Which was warped and fucked up and wrong. BDSM is supposed to be _play_ , she made it _torture_ —“

Karkat can feel himself slipping into an angry tangent, and clamps his mouth shut. He takes a long, deep breath.

“Sorry.” he mutters quietly.

He takes another breath. Dave is quiet, waiting. Karkat’s thankful for it. After a beat, he continues.

“What I’m trying to say is, your—your ignorance isn’t your fault. You were young and naïve and she fucking took that and ran with it. That’s not _your_ fault. And I’m proud of you for—for seeking out the truth for yourself, now. We’re going to figure this out together. I promise.”

Karkat leans back in his seat, running a hand through his hair as he lets out a long sigh. “Don’t fucking beat yourself up because you were misled by a bunch of delusional fuckwits.  _They_ are what’s wrong, Dave. Not you.”

  
  


  
  


“…yeah.” Dave says softly. “I- I’m trying. I know. Fuck, I-” He stops. Tries again. "I shouldn’t… blame myself. It’s not my fault. It’s supposed to be _fun_. I just- _Fuck_ , you know? Like I couldn’t have done a single fucking google search the entire two and a half years I was under her fucking thumb? _Fuck._ " He chokes on his words. “I’m just- I’m so fucking _angry_ , Karkat. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to- how to fucking _handle_ this.”

“I’m fucking _scared_.” He confesses. “I- fuck, I feel like- if I think about it too much I’m going to- to fucking vibrate out of my own fucking skin. I don’t know what to _do_.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat feels the strangest sensation of wanting to jump for joy while simultaneously wanting to keep consoling Dave. Obviously he hates hearing Dave be so upset, but at the same…Dave’s angry! Dave fucking said out loud he was  _angry_ ! That what happened to him was  _wrong_ ! Holy fucking shit, what a breakthrough.

If only Karkat were there right now, he’d be kissing Dave on the mouth so goddamn hard.

“You _have_ to let yourself feel those things,” Karkat says, and his voice breaks with a mixture of sadness yet _pride_ , “Be angry. Be sad. You _have_ to let whatever you’re feeling come out. Your body knows what it wants. Your mind has been trapped in this net for so long, and now that you’re finally free from it, the rest of you can catch up and finally feel what you’re _supposed_ to be feeling. Not what you were _groomed_ to feel, to think. And I know it’s scary and I’m so _sorry_ , I’m _so sorry_ , baby—I would take it all away if I could. But I know that I can’t, I know this is something that you…that you just need to get through. And I’ll be there every step of the way. I owe you that much.”

  
  


  
  


“Yeah.” Dave says softly. “Yeah, I- fuck. God dammit, this is so fucking _hard_.” He exhales roughly. “I wish I could just shove it all away.” He mumbles. “Not think about it- but I can’t, right? It’s just- _fuck_.”

There’s a dull thud, like Dave dropped his head against a wall.

“I just really wanna hold you right now.” Dave whispers.

  
  


  
  


“ _God_ , me too,” Karkat groans softly, sounding as though he’s in literal pain.

And he is, in a way. Hearing Dave like this and being unable to do anything? He can’t hold him, can’t kiss him, the only way he can comfort him is with words. And that can’t possibly be enough to take away what he’s going through.

“I wish so badly that I could take it all away,” Karkat says quietly, closing his eyes. He has to bite his lip to hold himself back from saying _I tried to, tonight. I hurt the people who hurt you._

  
  


  
  


“I know, baby.” Dave sighs. “I know- and I’d fucking let you. But that’s just- yeah.” There’s a sardonic tilt to his voice as he says, “Probably also not healthy, right?”

He sighs again.

“God. Two fucking days.” He mutters. “If shit just keeps ramping up each day then I am fully expecting the world to end the day you come back.”

  
  


  
  


“Shit’s gotta be healthier than holding it all inside yourself instead,” Karkat says, shrugging a bit. Then he pauses for a moment.

“Maybe that ought to be another fruit? Whenever these kinds of thoughts are swallowing you up and you need some comfort. That one can be…” Karkat trails off for a moment, thinking. “Peach?”

  
  


  
  


“That’s a good idea.” Dave sighs. “But maybe not peach, cause uh. I dunno if you’ve noticed but _peachy_ is a pretty common expression we use. Maybe uh… mango? Or melon or something?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat nods along. “Yeah, mango works.” he mumbles.

He reviews what they had so far. “Okay, so…tangerine for doubts, lime for bad days, and mango for comfort,” he rattles off, “Is there anything else you need a, uh, a fruit for?

  
  


  
  


Dave is silent for a moment. “I… yeah, not that I can think of, I guess. I mean, it’s not like we can’t add more later, right?” He says, then laughs softly. “Look at us.” He mumbles. “Being actual adults and shit and talking about stuff.”

  
  


  
  


“Yeah, three seems like a good thing to start off with, for now. Nice and easy to remember.” Karkat says. He scoffs at Dave’s comment about being adults. “Yeah, just look at us go. Who would have fuckin’ thought, huh?”

  
  


  
  


Dave huffs a bit. “Fuck, the next thing you know, we’ll be talking about  _buying a house_ and  _interest rates_ and things like  _mortgages_ . Ugh. Could you  _imagine_ ?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat scrunches up his nose. “ _Disgusting._ And don’t even get me started on all the legal jargon and malarkey that comes with  _marriage_ . Dividing assets and shit?  _Baaarrrfff._ ”

  
  


  
  


“Oh my god don’t remind me.” Dave mock-complains. “I am _not_ looking forwards to all of that _paperwork_. Oh my god, and actually planning the fucking thing? I am so no looking forwards to _that_.”

  
  


  
  


“Yeah, I break out into a cold sweat whenever I think about it.” Karkat says, “Let’s just chuck all that planning shit out the window and elope.”

  
  


  
  


“Would it even be possible?” Dave asks, half-joking. “I feel like the sheer weight of your dad’s disappointment would make me feel guilty for the rest of our lives.”

  
  


  
  


“If there’s anyone who loves schmaltz more than me, it’s my old man,” Karkat muses, “And what’s schmaltzier than two young lovers eloping? I’m sure he’d get over it. As long as we took lots of pictures.”

  
  


  
  


“True!” Dave laughs softly. “What do you think, baby, want to run away with me? I’m sure we can go somewhere dizzyingly romantic like a tiny little town two cities over because that’s all we can afford.” He teases.

  
  


  
  


“Destination wedding in Kalamazoo. Sounds magical.” Karkat jokes, “It’s actually really nice there, I’m only kind of half-joking.”

  
  


  
  


“Not gonna lie, never heard of it.” Dave says. “I’ll do some googling tomorrow.” There’s the sound of a stifled yawn. “Maybe it really would be a good idea to elope.” He mumbles. “Probably be way fucking less stressful.”

  
  


  
  


“It’s like a two-hour drive from Chicago,” Karkat says, “Jade and I went there once for some plant exhibition she was dying to go see, made it into a day trip. I’m sure you’d like it there.”

Karkat pulls his phone away from his ear to check the time, then quickly puts it back. “Shit babe, you’re two hours ahead of me! And not nearly as riddled with insomnia as I am. I should let you get some sleep.”

  
  


  
  


“Nah.” Dave says. “This is too nice. _And_ I have you trapped, since you said you want to do the ‘fall asleep on the phone’ thing so you can’t go anywhere.” He points out smugly. “Check and mate, babe. You’re just as committed to this as I am, no backing out now.”

  
  


  
  


“You’re lucky I know your time table off by heart, and know for a fact you don’t have class until noon tomorrow. Otherwise I would force your ass to go the fuck to sleep.” Karkat says, “You know I can keep this up for a while yet, right? I’ll probably have to dip into my sleeping meds tonight. I was pretty tired from all the travelling and shit yesterday, plus I’m still on Chicago time, so I crashed pretty easy. But tonight I’m _wide awake_.”

It’s from the Bro Beatdown, Karkat thinks to himself, holding the words behind his teeth.

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs. “Well, shit.” He says. “With that knowledge, maybe we should just fucking watch  _Your Name_ tonight instead of tomorrow.”

  
  


  
  


“You know what? I’m so down. Hold on, let me get this balcony set the fuck up.” Karkat says, already getting out of his chair.

He slips back inside, grabbing a thin, loose shirt to pull on, a blanket and a few pillows to cushion up the chair, and his laptop. Back outside he stuffs the pillows onto the back of the chair, throws the blanket over his legs as he settles back down in his seat, back now nicely cushioned and elevated by the pillows, and sets the laptop on his knees.

“Alright, all set.”

  
  


  
  


Dave must have been getting set up at the same time because when Karkat gets set up, he immediately sends Karkat the link for the watch together room.

“This movie is _so fucking good_ , Karkat.” Dave says, excitement clear in his tone, letting the movie buffer. “I hope you’re fucking ready.”

  
  


  
  


Dave’s excitement is contagious, and Karkat’s grinning to himself as the movie begins to play through the opening titles, “I am ready to be hurt again.” he says.

  
  


  
  


Dave laughs and they settle in to watch the movie.

Dave is the type to chatter through movies, giving constant tidbits of knowledge if it’s a movie he’s seen before, commenting on things happening, reacting and gasping. Luckily, they also have subtitles on.

But by the end of the movie, Dave is mostly silent but for sniffling, crying as the two main characters meet again.

“Karkat.” Dave says wetly. “Do you think if anything happened again to separate us, we’d find each other again?”

  
  


  
  


Karkat wipes the tears away from his good eye as the credits start to roll. He’d basically been a wreck ever since he found out the two characters had been separated by three years the entire time and he thought the girl had died from the meteor crashing into her town.

His chest aches at Dave’s question, and it brings on a fresh bout of tears.

“Dave,” Karkat says, once he finally composes himself enough to speak, “I would turn the world on its head to find you.”

  
  


  
  


Dave makes a soft noise of understanding. “Okay.” His voice is thick. “I love you so much, Karkat.”

He yawns, unable to stifle it this time. “Fuck. I think I cried myself out.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat looks at the time on his laptop. “Jesus, bud. It’s three in the morning for you. You need to go the hell to sleep.” A pause. “I love you, too. But seriously. Sleep.”

  
  


  
  


“Okay, okay.” Dave yawns again and there’s the sound of the laptop closing and fabric shuffling. “I’ll go to sleep. You should too, though.”

  
  


  
  


Karkat is feeling a bit more tired, but he’s sure it’ll still take him a bit to fall asleep yet. But he is getting pretty sore from sitting in this chair for the last couple hours, even with the pillows.

  
  


  
  


“Yeah, I’ll head inside,” Karkat says, the words coming out in as a soft groan as he pulls himself out of the chair, disentangling himself from the blanket.

He gathers up the pillows and blanket and his laptop and heads back inside, sighing at the air conditioning.

Karkat flops down on the couch, putting the call on speakerphone and turning down the volume, leaving the phone right beside his head on the pillow.

“Alarms set?” Karkat asks, twisting onto his side to face the phone, glad his swollen eye is his left. Being forced to sleep on his left side would have sucked.

  
  


  
  


“All set.” Dave confirms. “Won’t be missing any classes tomorrow.” He yawns again. “Love you, baby.” He murmurs, sounding half-way to passed out.

  
  


  
  


Karkat smiles at Dave’s picture on his phone screen—a candid picture that Karkat sneakily took while Dave was mid-conversation with John on the couch, and he said something that got John so haughty and defensive that Dave burst out laughing. Every picture of Dave is good, but this is one of Karkat’s favourites. It’s Dave in his rarest, and truest form—sweet and uninhibited.

“Love you, too, D.” Karkat murmurs, soft. “Night, babe.”

  
  


  
  


Dave just makes a soft, sleepy noise in return.


	8. Chapter 8

When Karkat wakes up in the morning, his phone has almost three hundred new messages. The messages are marked at being sent at 5:43 AM, Dave’s time.

  
  


TG: hey so i was thinking about the shit that happened last night  
TG: and yeah about like the punishment and shit too that was a thing that happened  
TG: but bust mostly about like the fruit salad of codewords we came up with  
TG: thinking about how much you care about me  
TG: and how youre always trying your best to protect me and shit  
TG: and help me feel better  
TG: and fucking christ  
TG: and i just really love you karkat  
TG: im so fucking lucky to have you  
TG: not to be morbid or anything but i watched beetlejuice since i woke up and couldnt fall back asleep  
TG: it got me thinking about how like  
TG: id haunt a house with you for eternity  
TG: or like  
TG: hold on actually  
TG: that makes me think of this  
TG: <https://open.spotify.com/track/28jCwARf1gYfHtTHmJJNHQ?si=C5HzM8-LRCqEnOoWxlTCyw>  
TG: nevermind this is so fucking morbid but im gonna say it anyway because i think its romantic  
TG: og goth romantic up in here  
TG: not modern day bodice rippers sorry karkat i know how you love those  
TG: but full on mary shelly up in this bitch  
TG: when we die i want to share a grave  
TG: or have our ashes mixed or whatever  
TG: take our ashes and compress them into a single diamond  
TG: cause thats a thing you can do  
TG: or make them into a tree planter  
TG: i want to share eternity with you  
TG: even after our names are forgotten  
TG: wow thats so fucking schmoopy  
TG: tearing up just thinking about it but i sent those messages and i stand by them  
TG: you  
TG: me  
TG: eternity  
TG: like the worlds best clingy boyfriends  
TG: i want to rot with you karkat  
TG: just  
TG: the headstone will wear away with time  
TG: grass growing over us and shit  
TG: names eventually forgotten by time  
TG: but maybe someday in the distant future  
TG: our graves will be excavated  
TG: and future space archeologists or something idk  
TG: will find us  
TG: buried side by side  
TG: and go  
TG: oh  
TG: these people were in love  
TG: their names are lost to time  
TG: but  
TG: they were in love  
TG: thats how fucking much i love you karkat  
TG: i dont care if after we die theres nothing but black  
TG: as long as im with you  
TG: fuck i should put together a morbid goth romantic love playlist  
TG: maybe that would be easier than rambling at you all sleep deprived and shit  
TG: actually no im gonna go do that  
TG: <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6n9DFgn1GKqJ64jUZ4hkmZ?si=gyFrU6C7QrGkU0Dbc1MQBg>  
TG: wow im going full sap this mornign  
TG: fuck it  
TG: i love you so much karkat  
TG: i dont think im gonna be able to get back to sleep but  
TG: fuck it  
TG: i dont wanna get up  
TG: so much effort to do that you know  
TG: especially when youre not here with me  
TG: im lying in your bed  
TG: wait no  
TG: our bed haha  
TG: dont think ill ever really get used to that  
TG: our  
TG: its our bed  
TG: its a bed that is ours  
TG: a bed that is equally yours and mine  
TG: but mostly yours cause this is your apartment and all that  
TG: still smells like you  
TG: pretty strongly too  
TG: its nice  
TG: its like you just got up to go pee or something  
TG: brushing your teeth  
TG: washing your face  
TG: i can close my eyes and pretend im waiting for you to come back  
TG: fucking huddled up in the warmth where your body was  
TG: stealing your spot  
TG: youll come back and grumble about it  
TG: cause you were so cozy and i stole it  
TG: but then youd just nudge me over  
TG: curl up against my back  
TG: and id pretend to be sleeping but really im awake  
TG: enjoying the feeling of your body on mine  
TG: enjoying your warmth  
TG: id fidget too much and give myself away though  
TG: why would you come back to bed if you washed your face you might ask  
TG: to which i have the answer  
TG: because you love me so much  
TG: and i am too fucking cute  
TG: im goddamn adorable up in this bitch  
TG: wrapped in your blankets  
TG: im like a baby panda  
TG: cute  
TG: adorable  
TG: you want to cuddle the shit out of me  
TG: and sleepy  
TG: i am the master of cute  
TG: so of course youd get right back into bed and cuddle me  
TG: but like i said id give it away  
TG: and youd try to smother me with a pillow for purposefully stealing your spot  
TG: but fucking baby panda cute remember  
TG: you couldnt do it  
TG: just kiss me instead  
TG: love you so much karkat  
TG: god what time is it  
TG: wow yeah i should get up but i really dont want to  
TG: probably gross of me to bring this up but fuck it i am also very horny right now  
TG: and the fact that youre not up also makes me sad  
TG: even though its like  
TG: what  
TG: six am  
TG: or seven or something  
TG: i will hold off  
TG: but wow your pillow smells good  
TG: fuck that night i was edging myself with your boxers was so fucking hot baby  
TG: i think i have basically no self control right now because i didnt get to nut last night so i might go dig through your laundry like a fucking goblin  
TG: goddamn half feral idiot boy over here  
TG: probably shouldnt  
TG: but wow i want to  
TG: you know that meme thats like  
TG: why did you cut off all your sleves  
TG: oh cause my boyfriend is out of town and hes like eighty percent of my impulse control  
TG: thats me  
TG: dave why are you huffing your boyfrinds boxers like a crackhead  
TG: yeah cause hes out of town and hes eighty percent of my impulse control and im horny  
TG: okay i should stop before this becomes too much  
TG: might need to go take a cold shower now  
TG: no  
TG: make that definitely  
TG: wow this really sums up my fucking entire life doesnt it  
TG: try to be romantic  
TG: is morbid instead  
TG: devolves into horny  
TG: eat your fucking heart out hemmingway i made a shorter sadder story  
TG: than your fucking baby shoes for sale never worn  
TG: attempted romance became horny  
TG: isnt that a fucking tearjerker  
TG: go masturbate your tearducts hemmingway  
TG: wait  
TG: is it hemmingway  
TG: i dont think it was poe  
TG: that dude was a massive racist  
TG: wait was hemmingway racist  
TG: i mean like  
TG: probably  
TG: right  
TG: tis the era  
TG: no i think im right i think it was hemmingway  
TG: wait no not fucking poe what the fuck am i saying  
TG: whos the bitch im thinking of  
TG: the really really really racist one  
TG: who was so racist even known racists sent him letters and were like  
TG: man  
TG: can you tone down the racism please  
TG: its a bit much  
TG: like can you imagine getting a letter from like  
TG: the head of the kkk  
TG: saying  
TG: hey  
TG: we here at the kkk would kindly like you to tone down the racism its a bit much  
TG: thanks  
TG: whats his fucking name uh father of eldritch horror or whoever  
TG: wow it deadass took me twenty minutes to remember lovecrafts name  
TG: thats just embarrassing  
TG: fake fan smh  
TG: karkat you have to cancel me now  
TG: im a fake fan  
TG: i cant even remember lovecrafts name off the top of my head  
TG: and yet  
TG: somehow i can remember how fucking racist he was  
TG: like holy shit  
TG: have you heard about his cats name  
TG: if you havent dont google it its fucked up  
TG: but wow  
TG: also i just realized saying dont google it is stupid  
TG: youre going to google it anyway because of course you are  
TG: humans are curious fucking creatures  
TG: thats like putting candy in front of a baby  
TG: and saying  
TG: hey yo baby  
TG: dont fucking touch  
TG: i had a point  
TG: to all of this when i started and now i dont remember what it was  
TG: maybe if i read back ill remember  
TG: oh right  
TG: wow  
TG: i got so fucking sidetracked by like twelve fucking things  
TG: yeah  
TG: i love you so much karkat  
TG: and i know you said like that its not just putting up with me  
TG: but  
TG: thanks  
TG: for being patient  
TG: and for loving me  
TG: im so fucking lucky to have you  
TG: i know im a big fucking handful to deal with  
TG: and i know it really must not be easy because of my  
TG: well  
TG: everything  
TG: but you do it anyway  
TG: and i cant stop thinking about how fucking lucky i am  
TG: lucky to have you in the first place  
TG: lucky to get out of cali  
TG: lucky to find you again by pure chance  
TG: lucky that youre so fucking patient  
TG: lucky that you still love me  
TG: lucky that i just  
TG: that i just get to  
TG: to have you  
TG: and you want to be mine  
TG: and you want me  
TG: i just cant stop thinking about this all karkat  
TG: i love you so goddamn much  
TG: and its scary  
TG: its fucking terrifying because sometimes i still feel like the rug is going to get yanked out from under me  
TG: but then i just see you there  
TG: and youre always ready to catch me  
TG: youre always so fucking there for me  
TG: and i feel kinda bad  
TG: i feel like  
TG: idk like um  
TG: like im not giving you the same thing  
TG: i dunno i should probably wait to talk about this when youre home  
TG: im just  
TG: having a lot of realizations i guess  
TG: not bad ones  
TG: well  
TG: maybe bad ones  
TG: but not ones that would like  
TG: threaten our relationship or anything like that so please dont be worried  
TG: i just think its probably stuff that would be better talked about in person  
TG: i think ill  
TG: i dunno  
TG: probably just run away or evade if its any other way  
TG: and i dont wanna do that  
TG: youre worth more than half answers and evasive shit  
TG: fuck im getting sidetracked again  
TG: i love you baby  
TG: so fucking much  
TG: i love you so much  
TG: and i wanna be good for you  
TG: not even like  
TG: as a sub  
TG: i mean yes as a sub too  
TG: if were still doing that  
TG: but like  
TG: as a boyfriend  
TG: as a fiance  
TG: as a  
TG: wow  
TG: as a husband  
TG: thats  
TG: really weird to think about actually  
TG: were fucking engaged  
TG: im going to be your husband  
TG: it feels weird  
TG: but  
TG: good weird  
TG: fucking god can i stop getting sidetracked please  
TG: i want to be as good for you as you are for me  
TG: i want to be like  
TG: okay i know you always talk about building a bridge  
TG: but i feel like i dunno  
TG: i wanna be more than that  
TG: i wanna be your goddamn foundation  
TG: you always say im your home  
TG: so i wanna be a real fucking good one  
TG: no aluminimum siding in this bitch  
TG: solid concrete base  
TG: walls to protect you  
TG: maybe even a cute little attic for you to turn into some kind of little hideaway  
TG: hopping right back onto the morbid train this morning but fuck it  
TG: i would fucking take my ribs and turn them into foundations  
TG: open up my fucking chest and give you my beating heart  
TG: because i know you would protect it  
TG: sometimes i just want to fucking  
TG: hollow myself out so that i can just fill myself up with you  
TG: make a space right where my heart is meant to be  
TG: so that you can slide right on in there  
TG: because youre my heart karkat  
TG: youre my fucking heart  
TG: everything good about me came from you  
TG: i hope you know im not exaggerating  
TG: i really really do  
TG: im not being hyperbolic at all  
TG: its like im fucking covered in slime thats crystalized and trapped me  
TG: and here you are  
TG: with a chisel and hammer  
TG: just slowly working me free  
TG: and god  
TG: id never be able to do it on my own  
TG: not in a million years  
TG: i dont really know where im going with this  
TG: but  
TG: i love you  
TG: i love you so goddamn much  
TG: and i want to make sure that you know that  
TG: because i feel like i dont say it enough  
TG: i know i say it like  
TG: five times a day minimum  
TG: but i still feel like i dont say it enough  
TG: im going to get out of bed and take a shower and actually be a functioning human being  
TG: but  
TG: yeah  
TG: sorry for absolutely destroying your phone haha  
TG: love you baby  
TG: love you so so so so much  
CG: YOU WERE TOTALLY LATE FOR CLASS, WEREN’T YOU.  
TG: noooooo  
TG: totally not  
TG: okay maybe by a minute and twenty four seconds  
CG: THAT’S MORE LIKE IT.  
CG: I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.  
TG: i made it tho and thats whats important haha  
CG: OKAY NOW THAT I AM OFFICIALLY AWAKE AND HAVE COFFEE ALLOW ME TO CONSTRUCT A BETTER RESPONSE TO THAT GARGANTUAN AMOUNT OF RIDICULOUS BUT INCREDIBLY SWEET MESSAGES.  
CG: I LOVE YOU, TOO, YOU BIG FUCKING GOOF.  
CG: OKAY EVEN WITH CAFFEINE IT IS DIFFICULT TO COME UP WITH WORDS.  
TG: haha its okay you dont have to say anything  
TG: i was mostly just  
TG: sleep deprived rambling  
CG: YOU’VE DONE IT. YOU HAVE RENDERED ME, THE WORDIEST BITCH NEXT TO YOU, SPEECHLESS.  
CG: WELL IF I GOT THAT MOVED BY SLEEP-DEPRIVED RAMBLING I AM ABSOLUTELY GOING TO BE A WRECK WHEN YOU’RE READING YOUR VOWS.  
CG: OH MY GOD.  
CG: YOUR VOWS.  
TG: is it bad of me to have already started working on those  
CG: THAT’S GOING TO BE A MOTHERFUCKING EXPERIENCE.  
CG: OH.  
CG: FOR REAL?  
CG: WOW. NO. NO THAT’S LIKE  
TG: yeah  
CG: HONESTLY REALLY SWEET ACTUALLY.  
TG: admittedly its like  
TG: twenty half finished sentences on a notepad on my phone  
TG: but ive got some ideas  
CG: I HAVE CONSIDERED STARTING TO WRITE OUT MINE LIKE  
CG: AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES NOW.  
CG: AND EVERY TIME I CHICKEN OUT  
CG: I THINK I AM ABSOLUTELY OVERTHINKING IT.  
CG: BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I DO.  
TG: i bet you are baby  
TG: because lets be real  
TG: anything you write is going to make me tear up  
TG: probably bawl like a baby  
TG: even if its like  
TG: scribbled on the back of a taco bell reciept or something  
CG: I KNOW I COULD JUST STAND THERE AND READ OBAMA’S ENTIRE INAUGURATION SPEECH AND YOU WOULD BE AN ABSOLUTE WRECK.  
CG: BUT I WANT TO DO IT RIGHT.  
CG: MAYBE IF I TREAT IT LIKE SONGWRITING?  
CG: WHEN I DO THAT, IT SORT OF JUST…FALLS OUT OF ME. I DON’T REALLY THINK, JUST LET THE WORDS FLOW.  
TG: aw  
CG: AND THEN JADE COMES IN AND WORKS HER MAGIC AND TURNS IT INTO SOMETHING COHERENT AND DECENT.  
TG: thats actually really adorable  
CG: SO IF ANYTHING MAYBE I’LL JUST SCRIBBLE DOWN A BUNCH OF NONSENSE AND THEN HAVE JADE EDIT OUT THE GARBAGE AND MAKE IT INTO A DECENT SPEECH.  
TG: hahah i guess whatever works right  
CG: I DEFINITELY RELY ON HER FAR TOO MUCH.  
CG: SHE’S GOING OUT WITH FEFERI TODAY. THOSE TWO ARE BASICALLY BFFS NOW.  
TG: thats a dangerous pair of friends  
CG: VERY MUCH SO.  
TG: i feel like between them they could get anyone to do anything  
TG: and damn the consequences  
TG: also maybe take over the world  
CG: APPARENTLY THEY ARE GETTING SMOOTHIE BOWLS AND GOING TO THE AQUARIUM.  
CG: BUT THAT’S PROBABLY CODE FOR ESPIONAGE.  
TG: clearly theyre spying on the dolphins  
CG: I’M PROBABLY GOING TO SEE ON THE NEWS IN A COUPLE HOURS THAT THEY RELEASED ALL THOSE FISH FROM CAPTIVITY.  
TG: oh man i bet they could pull it off  
TG: get all those bitches back into the ocean  
TG: finding nemo 2 style  
TG: wait that happened in that movie right  
TG: or am i thinking of something else  
CG: I MEAN, ALL OF THOSE DENTIST FISH GOT OUT.  
CG: THAT WAS THE FIRST MOVIE.  
TG: yeah thats true  
TG: the second one was an aquarium though  
TG: i think  
CG: THEY MANAGED TO DRIVE A TRUCK INTO THE OCEAN?  
TG: no clue  
CG: I THINK THAT MOVIE WAS JUST A FEVER DREAM I HAD.  
TG: my most vivid memory of that movie  
TG: is the bit with the stroller  
TG: and i think the octopus was pretending to be a human maybe  
TG: i genuinely dont remember much though  
CG: THERE WAS A LOT GOING ON IN THAT MOVIE.  
TG: its a blur  
CG: THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT ALONE AND THEY FUCKING KNEW IT.  
CG: THE “TRYING TOO HARD” SEQUELITIS IS REAL.  
TG: when will companies learn  
TG: not all movies need sequels  
TG: in fact most of them dont  
CG: EXCEPT FOR SHREK.  
TG: if anyone tries to make a sequel to brave i will go down there myself with a bow and arrow  
TG: except for shrek  
CG: BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED AT 2.  
TG: i dont know that ive ever watched 4  
TG: but sollux told me a straight up race war happens in it and they go to an alternate universe  
CG: HOW DID THEY LOOK AT SHREK 2 AND THINK, “YEAH, WE CAN DO THAT AGAIN.”  
TG: so i am scared to watch it  
CG: PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO QUIT WHILE THEY’RE AHEAD.  
CG: STOP BEATING THAT POOR, DEAD HORSE. IT STOPPED BEING A HORSE A LONG TIME AGO, IT’S JUST A MUTATED ROTTING CORPSE.  
TG: but why would they when the horse will still shit out money  
TG: monetizing nostalgia  
TG: its a powerful powerful force karkat  
TG: oh another sequel exception  
TG: frozen 2 was good  
CG: OH FUCK YEAH.  
TG: you know whats something that i appreciate about that movie  
TG: every song was really really good  
TG: but not so fucking catchy  
TG: that it would play endlessly everywhere like let it go  
CG: EVEN KRISTOFF’S EIGHTIES ROCK BALLAD.  
CG: WAIT.  
CG: I MIS-FUCKING-SPOKE  
CG: **ESPECIALLY** KRISTOFF’S EIGHTIES ROCK BALLAD.  
TG: that fucking song had me losing it  
TG: i swear karkat i was laughing so hard i was in fucking tears  
CG: BABE I WAS IN THE THEATRE WITH YOU.  
CG: WE WERE BOTH LOSING IT.  
TG: true that haha  
TG: i still cant believe that movie made me like olaf  
CG: RIGHT???  
CG: I DIDN’T GROAN ONCE.  
CG: AND THAT IS A BIG STATEMENT FROM ME.  
TG: truly impressive  
TG: my boyfriend the ultimate eye roller  
TG: and not a single moment pinged your eye roll worthy radar  
TG: its basically a miracle  
TG: we should have got it on camera  
CG: NOW WATCH THEM FUCK IT ALL UP BY TRYING TO FORCE FROZEN 3 DOWN OUR THROATS.  
CG: YOU TIED EVERYTHING UP IN A NEAT LITTLE BOW.  
TG: karkat dont  
CG: MAKE A ONE-OFF SPECIAL WHERE ANNA AND KRISTOFF GET MARRIED.  
TG: youll speak it into existence  
CG: BUT THAT IS IT.  
TG: i can feel it looming on the horizon  
TG: sweats rolling down my spine  
TG: the world will know fear again  
TG: and its name is frozen 3  
CG: I MEAN WE ALL FUCKING GROANED WHEN FROZEN 2 WAS ANNOUNCED.  
CG: AND THEN THAT TRAILER DROPPED WITH ELSA ON THE BEACH AND EVERYONE SHIT THEIR PANTS.  
CG: BUT THEN AGAIN.  
CG: FROZEN COULD BE DISNEY’S EQUIVALENT TO THE DREAMWORKS SHREK FRANCHISE.  
TG: i suppose it could be but  
TG: somehow  
TG: i doubt it  
CG: WHERE THE FIRST IS PRETTY GOOD. PRETTY ICONIC. SECOND ONE ABSOLUTELY KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE PARK.  
TG: i dont know if anything can match shrek  
CG: AND THEN THERE’S TWO OTHER MOVIES NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT.  
TG: oh haha yeah maybe  
CG: I SAW THE THIRD SHREK IN THEATRES AS A KID.  
CG: NOT THE WHOLE THING THOUGH.  
CG: DAD TOOK ME AND KANKRI TO SEE IT AND WENT “WOW THIS SUCKS” AND SNUCK US INTO SPIDER-MAN 3 INSTEAD.  
TG: oh my god really  
CG: WHICH WAS ALSO…YOU KNOW, A WHOLE FUCKING THING.  
TG: holy shit thats so funny  
CG: OH KANKRI WAS LOSING IT.  
CG: HE WANTED TO PAY FOR BOTH MOVIES.  
CG: DAD BASICALLY HAD TO DRAG HIM FROM THE THEATRE KICKING AND SCREAMING.  
CG: ACTUALLY THAT ISN’T AN EXAGGERATION. HE WAS LITERALLY KICKING AND SCREAMING.  
TG: karkat i am fucking losing it  
CG: YOU KNOW KANNY. HATES ANY FORM OF HUMAN CONTACT.  
TG: the mental image of your dad having to drag kankri out  
CG: IT WAS HONESTLY PRETTY FUCKING HUMILIATING AT THE TIME.  
CG: BUT LOOKING BACK, YEAH, THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS.  
TG: i was about to say i feel bad for laughing but nah i have your full permission to laugh now so  
TG: oh  
TG: my god  
TG: your composed older brother just getting hauled out because  
TG: like  
TG: you stole a movie  
TG: absolutely fucking hysterical  
CG: WE ONLY GOT THROUGH LIKE, MAYBE THE FIRST TWENTY MINUTES OF SHREK 3 BEFORE DAD WAS LIKE “EHHHH NOPE” AND JUST  
CG: FUCKING LEFT.  
TG: hahahaha oh my god  
TG: that quickly huh  
CG: OH IT WAS GARBAGE.  
TG: but on the other hand  
TG: its shrek 3  
TG: so i wouldnt have been surprised if it was 5 minutes  
CG: KANKRI WAS DETERMINED TO STAY PUT AND SUFFER.  
CG: WHICH IS VERY ON BRAND FOR HIM.  
TG: i swear that dude is determined to be the next living martyr  
CG: AND I WAS JUST GONNA LET HIM DO IT, BUT WHEN I TOLD HIM “FINE ME AND DAD ARE GONNA GO SNEAK INTO SPIDER-MAN, THEN”  
CG: HE WAS LIKE “OH HELL NO” AND RAN AFTER ME.  
CG: THEN HE STARTED GOING ON ABOUT HOW HE WAS GOING TO REPORT ME AND DAD TO THE STAFF.  
CG: AND INSIST WE WERE NOT RELATED.  
TG: ahahahahahaha oh my god  
CG: DAD AND I PRACTICALLY HAD TO HOG-TIE AND GAG HIM TO GET HIM INTO THE FUCKING THEATRE.  
CG: IT’S A MIRACLE WE WEREN’T CAUGHT.  
TG: i can only imagine holy fuck  
TG: theres you and your dad trying to have a good time and kankris just carrying on  
CG: IMAGINE BEING TEN YEARS OLD AND WATCHING YOUR SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BROTHER HAVING A LITERAL FUCKING MELTDOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THEATRE.  
CG: IT WAS EQUAL PARTS HUMILIATING BUT ALSO THE BEST MOMENT EVER.  
TG: im trying to picture it  
TG: and all i can say is  
TG: holy shit  
TG: i think i would probably die on the spot  
TG: im amazed that you got through it  
CG: TEN-YEAR OLD ME HAD NEVER FELT MORE VINDICATED IN HIS YOUNG LIFE, THEN WHEN HIS BIG BRO MADE A HUGE ASS OF HIMSELF OUT IN PUBLIC.  
CG: AT LAST, THE WORLD KNEW WHAT I HAD KNOWN ALL ALONG.  
CG: THAT MY BROTHER IS A GIANT TOOL.  
TG: hahahahaha  
TG: absolutely amazing  
TG: like holy shit he was a fucking high schooler  
TG: and he just flips his shit in public  
TG: like the biggest fucking dipshit in the world  
TG: still cant believe that hes became a councilor  
CG: UGH.  
CG: DON’T REMIND ME.  
TG: hahaha  
TG: i feel bad for those poor kids  
CG: I THINK THE ONLY REASON HE EVEN HAS A CLIENTELE  
CG: IS BECAUSE ALL THOSE TEENS JUST TEXT UNDER THE TABLE AND DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS.  
CG: AND THE KID’S PARENTS PAY HIM FOR JUST JABBERING AWAY LIKE A INSIPID DOUCHE FOR AN HOUR.  
CG: HIS DREAM JOB.  
TG: absolutely beautiful  
CG: THE POOR BASTARD THINKS HE’S ACTUALLY GETTING THROUGH TO THOSE TEENAGERS.  
CG: WHICH IS THE SADDEST PART OF ALL.  
CG: AND BY SAD, I MEAN FUCKING HILARIOUS.  
TG: god yeah  
TG: hes such a massive tool that i cant bring myself to find it as anything other than hysterical  
CG: I GOTTA ADMIT, SHIT-TALKING MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY BEING MADE A TAD DIFFICULT.  
CG: BECAUSE I’M LISTENING TO THE PLAYLIST YOU MADE.  
CG: AND GETTING ALL EMOTIONAL AND SHIT.  
TG: oh  
TG: haha yeah i just like  
TG: shoved that together on three hours of sleep  
CG: HOW COME YOU’RE THE MOST ROMANTIC AND THOUGHTFUL GODDAMN SAP ON THE PLANET WHEN YOU’RE SLEEP-DEPRIVED.  
TG: uhhhhhhh  
TG: good fucking question  
CG: IS THIS WHY I LIKE ROMANCE SO MUCH? DOES INSOMNIA MAKE YOU MORE ROMANTIC?  
TG: maybe its lack of sleep absolutely destroys my filter  
TG: even moreso than usual  
CG: WE MIGHT HAVE JUST SOLVED A GRAND ELDRITCH MYSTERY HERE.  
TG: it is entirely possible  
TG: that was a mystery that no one knew needed solving  
TG: but damn if it didnt get solved anyway  
TG: well done to us  
CG: HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND.  
CG: SO HOW WAS CLASS?  
TG: honestly not that interesting  
TG: but heavy on the homework  
TG: as always  
TG: i swear i cant fucking wait for this class to be over  
TG: im pretty sure assigning us reading then going over the reading in class then assigning us homework and more reading is not exactly  
TG: good teaching  
CG: I DO NOT FUCKING MISS HOMEWORK, THAT’S FOR DAMN SURE.  
CG: BUT HAVING NONE OF MY OWN TO WORRY ABOUT MEANS I CAN FOCUS ON HELPING YOU WITH YOURS.  
CG: IF YOU NEED IT.  
CG: OR IF YOU NEED ME TO BUGGER OFF FOR A COUPLE HOURS SO YOU CAN FOCUS.  
CG: THAT’S HELPING TOO, IN IT’S OWN REGARD.  
TG: i think ill be okay babe  
TG: after all  
TG: i got a week to do it haha  
TG: rather spend time talking to you  
CG: WHICH MEANS IN A DOUBLE REACH-AROUND WAY I WILL END UP HELPING YOU WITH IT WHEN I GET HOME.  
CG: BECAUSE YOU’LL LEAVE IT TO THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND.  
TG: you know what i would protest but thats  
TG: painfully accurate  
CG: BUT I’M NOTHING IF NOT A BAD INFLUENCE.  
CG: SO I’M DOWN TO KEEP CHATTING.  
TG: hahahah  
TG: i can be your angle or your devil  
TG: right babe  
CG: NOT FUCKING SURE WHAT I WOULD DO OTHERWISE TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF.  
CG: GOT THE WHOLE APARTMENT TO MYSELF NOW THAT JADE’S GONE FOR THE DAY.  
TG: that sounds so terribly lonely babe  
TG: whatever will you do  
TG: we might be in the same boat  
TG: sollux is at his job after all  
TG: johns in class  
TG: seems to be were just both so lonely  
CG: SO VERY LONELY.  
CG: JUST SITTING HERE IN NOTHING BUT BOXERS BECAUSE IT’S MUGGY AS SHIT TODAY AND EVEN THE AIR CONDITIONING ISN’T HELPING.  
CG: FUCK CALI AND MY HEAT RETENTION SO GODDAMN MUCH.  
TG: oh man so youre just lounging around almost naked  
TG: im almost jealous  
TG: wish i could be there to help make you feel a bit better  
TG: get you some water  
CG: YOU ARE LIKE A WALKING ICE BOX.  
TG: why mr vantas  
TG: are you implying something  
TG: indecent  
CG: BE A DAMN SIGHT BETTER THAN THE ICE PACK I’M WORKING WITH.  
CG: DEFINITELY SOME KIND OF SIGHT.  
TG: i bet i could cool you off  
TG: maybe sprawl up along your front  
TG: run my fingers through your hair  
TG: cool your damp hair  
TG: might have to take your temperature too  
TG: could probably use my tongue for that dont you think  
TG: gotta make sure youre not overheating  
CG: DEPENDS ON WHERE THE THERMOMETER WAS SUPPOSED TO GO.  
|CG: BUT EITHER WAY  
CG: THE ANSWER IS YESYESYESYESYES.  
TG: well now id definitely start with the classic  
TG: checking your mouth you know  
TG: but that might not be too accurate  
TG: might have to check it traditionally  
CG: WELL, YEAH.  
CG: YOU NEVER GO ASS TO MOUTH, DAVE.  
TG: i would sure hope not  
TG: i have standards you know  
TG: but that means i wont get any kisses afterwards  
TG: so i gotta take my time there first  
TG: wanna make sure i get my fill  
TG: you dont want to leave me neglected right baby  
CG: DEFINITELY NOT.  
CG: LIKE HAVING YOU PRESSED AGAINST ME, LAYING DOWN ONTOP OF ME AND JUST KISSING ME LAZILY.  
CG: COULD KEEP YOU HERE ALL DAY.  
TG: that sounds really fucking nice karkat  
TG: just sprawling together  
TG: getting to feel your skin on mine  
TG: stupid hot and sweaty  
TG: hot in more ways than one  
TG: kissing all nice and lazy and shit  
CG: MAYBE ONCE WE BOTH GET TOO WARM WE CAN GO TAKE A SHOWER, NICE AND LUKEWARM, JUST THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE TO COOL OFF WHILE STILL BEING ABLE TO KISS UNDER THE SPRAY.  
TG: sounds fantastic baby  
TG: just getting to have you all wet and slick in my arms  
TG: maybe id finally get enough of kissing you  
TG: well  
TG: no i wouldnt  
TG: i dont think ill ever get enough  
CG: TECHNICALLY IT’S KIND OF LIKE KISSING ME.  
TG: hahahaha  
TG: you are correct  
TG: baby id commit so fucking much blasphemy  
TG: because id eat your ass like im jesus and its the last supper  
CG: GOD.  
CG: THAT SHOULD NOT BE AS HOT AS IT IS.  
CG: CLEARLY MADE FOR EACH OTHER, THAT YOU CAN SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND MY DICK STILL REACTS.  
TG: its a sign  
TG: clearly your dick knows what it wants  
TG: i wonder if i could make you cum on just my tongue  
TG: i feel like i could do it  
CG: YOU ARE EXCEPTIONALLY TALENTED WITH IT.  
TG: im more ways than one  
TG: you ever see me take an almost empty yogurt and lick out the bottom  
TG: thats what ill do to your ass  
CG: I HAVE SEEN YOU DO THAT, AND IT FELT LIKE A PERSONAL FUCKING ATTACK AGAINST ME.  
CG: I’VE GOTTEN SOME AWKWARD BONERS IN MY TIME BUT “GOT HARD WATCHING DAVE EAT YOGURT” TAKES THE CAKE.  
CG: ANYWAY.  
TG: hahaha  
CG: KEEP TELLING ME HOW YOU’D EAT ME OUT.  
TG: sounds like we need to stock up on yogurts  
TG: baby ill fucking shove my tongue so goddamn deep in your ass  
TG: lick you open  
TG: tease your rim until youre squirming  
TG: only the best for you  
TG: maybe even say a little prayer  
TG: oh heavenly father i thank you for this meal i am about to recieve  
CG: OKAY NOW YOU’RE PUSHING IT.  
CG: I MEAN I DIDN’T LOSE THE ERECTION.  
CG: BUT NOW I’M LAUGHING.  
CG: AND IT’S A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO FINGER YOURSELF AND TYPE WITH ONE HAND WHILE LAUGHING.  
CG: SO.  
TG: sounds like i should keep going then  
CG: THAT WOULD BE WISE.  
TG: right lemme clear my throat  
CG: OH GODDAMMIT.  
TG: i come before you today with a bountiful feast laid out before me  
TG: ready to partake the the blessing of my boyfriends  
TG: quite frankly unfairly  
TG: glorious ass  
CG: JESUS CHRIST.  
CG: WHOOPS. PROBABLY SHOULDN’T PUT THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN DURING GRACE.  
TG: yeah karkat come on you know better  
CG: CARRY ON.  
TG: thank you for this opportunity to have a glorious meal and thank you lord for bringing us together on this day so that i can truly appreciate my boyfriends ass  
TG: with my tongue  
CG: SEEMS LIKE I JUST GOTTA RIDE THIS BIT OUT TO THE END.  
CG: I AM NOT FINGERING MYSELF TO THIS.  
TG: thats a shame  
CG: THAT WAS A POOR CHOICE OF WORDS.  
TG: haha what do you mean  
CG: I MEAN I AM NOT RIDING THIS OUT ON MY FINGER.  
TG: nah karkat you better get your fingers back up in there dont you want to appreciate my grace properly  
TG: you come to my table  
TG: or  
CG: THAT DEPENDS HOW GOOD A GRACE IT IS.  
TG: are my table maybe  
TG: who knows  
TG: anyway lemme finish saying my grace  
CG: YES PLEASE GET IT OVER WITH.  
TG: thank you lord for it is in your infinite wisdom that you have blessed my boyfriend with his perfect ass and blessed me with the perfect tongue to fit in it  
TG: and i shall give him so many orgasms that his knees shall give out  
TG: amen  
TG: and then id just fucking go for it  
TG: tongue licking over you babe  
TG: gotta appreciate you fully  
TG: make you feel real good  
TG: trace your rim nice and slow  
CG: ALRIGHT FUCK FINE.  
CG: BACK WE GO.  
CG: ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT. THAT COOL SHOWER IS SOUNDING LIKE A GOOD CALL.  
CG: IT’LL ENHANCE THE ILLUSION ANYWAY.  
TG: sounds like a real good idea to me babe  
TG: maybe ill take one too  
CG: GREAT IDEA.  
CG: COME RIGHT IN, GOT THE WATER TO THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE.  
TG: hell yeah  
TG: stepping right on in there with you now  
TG: fuck it feels nice  
TG: gonna have you brace your forearms against the wall baby  
TG: sink to my knees  
TG: and hold your hips nice and tight as i shove my tongue into you  
TG: in the wise  
TG: wise words  
TG: of jhene aiko  
CG: OH NO.  
TG: im gonna eat that booty like groceries  
CG: GUUUH.  
TG: you know you love it baby  
TG: cause it means youre getting your ass eaten real fucking good  
CG: YOU’RE LUCKY I’M DESPERATE TO GET OFF.  
CG: KIND OF SLIPPED MY MIND LAST NIGHT.  
CG: AND NOW HERE WE ARE.  
TG: understandable i think  
TG: and now here we are  
TG: you  
TG: with my tongue up your ass  
TG: me  
TG: putting it there  
CG: I SURE FUCKING HOPE IT’S YOU.  
TG: im still pretty confident i could get you to cum on it  
TG: yeah that would be weird  
TG: disembodied hentai dick only its tongue  
CG: OKAY FOCUS FOCUS  
TG: hahaha  
TG: you feeling me up inside you yet karkat  
TG: dunno if my tongue could reach that place in there that makes you feel good  
TG: but id sure as hell try  
TG: pressing my mouth right up against you and fucking my tongue in as deep as itll go  
CG: EVEN IF IT DIDN’T REACH STILL FEELS FUCKING INCREDIBLE  
TG: yeah it does baby  
CG: FEELS LIKE YOU’RE FILLING ME UP EVEN IF YOU’RE BARELY INSIDE  
CG: ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU STRETCH ME OPEN EVEN MORE WITH YOUR FINGERS WHILE YOUR FUCK ME WITH YOUR TONGUE  
CG: FEELS SO GOOD  
TG: you want my fingers baby then ill give them to you  
TG: shove them right up in there with my tongue  
TG: if my tongue cant reach my fingers definitely will  
TG: gonna find that spot and rub right against it  
TG: until you’re trying to shove your hips back onto me  
CG: GOD  
CG: YEs  
TG: not gonna let you though baby  
TG: dont want that perfect ass of yours breaking my nose  
TG: gotta hold you in place  
TG: gonna hold you in place with one hand and fuck you open on the other one  
TG: spreading your hole with my fingers so i can slide my tongue right on in there between them  
CG: TRY NOT TO MOVE  
CG: JUST LET YOU KEEP ME HOW YOU WANT ME  
TG: hell yeah you are  
TG: just stay braced against the wall  
TG: and ill shove my fingers in deep  
TG: fucking you on them  
TG: on my tongue  
TG: how loud can you get karkat  
TG: fuck im imagining jt  
TG: imagining the noises youll make on my tongue  
CG: n EeD tO  
CG: FUCK  
CG: SHITS IMPOSSIBLE

  
Dave’s phone starts to ring, Karkat’s name coming up on the screen.

  
  


Dave answers it immediately, “hey babe,” breathless, the sound of a shower running clearly audible.

  
Karkat’s ragged breaths can just be heard over the shower spray.

“You said you wanted to hear h-how loud I could get, right?”

  
Dave grins to himself, his own forearm braced against the wall. “Sure did, baby.” He says, his other hand clutching the phone tightly. The cold shower spray licks at his legs- he’s not directly under it, but it’s enough right now that it’s stopping his dick from getting _too_ hard right now.

“You’re all alone in that apartment, right?” Dave asks. “So be as noisy as you want, lemme hear you.”

  
The rush of the water can be heard from the other end of the line, but it’s enough in the background that Karkat can still be made out.

“Y-yeah, all alone,” Karkat sighs, “Needed both hands free so I could— _nng!_ —do your description justice…”

  
Dave feels his grin widen. It’s almost unbelievable that he’s never gotten to eat Karkat’s ass, now that he’s thinking about it, but clearly that’s something that needs to change.

“Normally I’d wanna take my time, just lie down on our bed and enjoy myself- but I’ve already got you so riled up it’s be mean to do that.” Dave says with a soft huff. God, that’s an idea. Just getting to lick and lap and fuck Karkat’s ass on his tongue for as long as he wants, just _worshipping_ Karkat’s ass… mmm, fuck. The idea is aching through his dick, but Dave refuses to cheat and touch himself.

"Get your fingers in there nice and deep until you brush that spot, and then just rub then real hard over that, alright? Want to make your knees _weak._ "

  
  


There’s a long, soft groan as Dave speaks. At Dave’s instructions, there’s a small, hitching gasp, and then a louder moan.

“Mmnnnm— _ahh_ —f-fuck, Dave,” Karkat whimpers, his voice echoing slightly from the mix of being on speakerphone and in the confines of the shower.

  
  


“Yeah baby? Come on, lemme hear you.” Dave shifts his stance wider, squirming slightly at the deep throb in his gut. “Move just your fingers, remember? Gotta hold you in place, cant have you ass-checking me by accident. Gonna get my tongue deep inside you, fuck you on my fingers- fuck I’m gonna lick you open like a fucking yogurt cup, come on my strawberry rhubarb baby- can’t you feel me eating you out?”

  
  


There’s a dull _thunk_ on the other side of the line, then the sound of Karkat’s weak laughter. It’s a strained sound, a mix between a chuckle and a moan.

“D-dammit, Dave, come _on_ ,” Karkat is trying to sound chiding, but it’s not very effective, as his words break off into a short gasp. “Yes, okay, _god_ , I can f-feel you…”

  
  


“Fuck yeah you can because I am fucking those fingers into you nice and deep and slow baby- every time theyre deep in that perfect ass of yours I grind them against that spot until you _moan_ , then I get to pull them back out real slow and fuck em back in again.” Dave croons.

Fuck, he wants to jerk off so bad. This is it’s own special kind of torture, being more dominant and not getting to touch himself because it means he can’t even _beg_. His leg feels a bit numb, so he reaches for the faucet and nudges it up to lukewarm for the time being.

“I’ve got my face buried right in your glorious ass, babe, getting to worship it feels so fucking incredible, god theres so many things I wanna do to it that your hand can’t replicate- wanna make you go fucking _crazy_ baby, wanna make you feel like my last fucking meal on death row, make you feel like the tastiest person in the universe, finally getting your ass ate and worshipped like it deserves.”

  
  


“ _Nn_ — _aah_ —“ Karkat moans are soft, barely audible over the rush of water from both his side of the line and Dave’s.

As Dave continues to speak, however, the sounds pick up in their frequency and volume, until Karkat’s echoed sounds are coming through loud and clear, drowning out the sounds of the water.

“Ahhhffff _uck_ , Dave, _yes_ —“ Karkat gasps, then breaks down into more whimpering moans, “f-feels so good, baby, _mmmnnn_ , fuck, _fuck_ , mnm _aaah_!”

  
  


Dave groans, Karkat’s noises sliding right down his spine, settling into his belly, and _tugging._ Freed from the icy grip of the cold spray, his dick is very quickly getting hard again, but Dave isn’t going to touch himself. At least not until he knows if Karkat wants to keep doing D/s shit.

“Yeah, just like that, Karkat, just like that, I’m fucking my tongue in and out of your hole, deep plunging presses- gonna lick at your rim, tug it open more, then shove my mouth right up against you and wiggle my tongue so fucking deep- every goddamn noise you make is perfect, tells me how good you’re feeling, I wanna hear _all_ of them baby-”

Fuck his dick is throbbing- he can picture it, being on his fucking knees in the shower, going to fucking town and getting to worship Karkat’s ass- god he wants that, wants to do that so bad, wants to feel Karkat squirm and clench around his tongue. He runs his tongue around the inside of his teeth, _fuck_ he wants to go to his knees and finger himself so fucking badly.

“Come on, baby.” He croons. “My cherry pie baby, gonna finish all my food, gonna lick the plate clean, gonna get you there with my tongue and fingers- you think you can do it?”

  
  


There’s a distant, wet sliding sound, probably from Karkat repositioning his feet in the shower so he doesn’t slip. Karkat’s voice and sounds come in even louder—he likely moved closer to wherever he set down his phone.

“Feels _so_ fucking good,” Karkat’s moans are downright pornographic by this point. He’s clearly been holding back since he’s had to be quiet with Jade asleep just down the hall. But with the apartment all to himself this morning, Karkat’s his true, noisy self.

“ _Uuunnhh_! C-can feel you so d-deep inside me, but it’s still not e-enoughhh _hhnnnmmmh_ —“

Karkat gasps wetly, his breath coming right through the speakers, like he’s right there in the shower with Dave.

“W-want you _here_ , baby, _need_ you—need your cock inside me— _nnmmgh_ —“

  
  


“You want my dick baby?” Dave asks breathlessly. God, he’ll never get over how fucking delicious Karkat’s noises are. He’s so fucking greedy, he wants to have every single noise and keep it all for himself. He wants to collect them like precious scraps of fabric, soft and love-worn, tucked away to pull out and remember later. He wants to swallow each one of Karkat’s noises, drink them down and let them fill his belly with heat.

“Don’t know if I wanna stop eating you out, babe.” Dave growls. He feels _hungry_ , wanting Karkat but unable to have him, not even able to touch himself. Fuck. “You’re so fucking good around my tongue, making such good noises- don’t know if I wanna stop, wanna see if I can get you there on my tongue and fingers- come on baby I know you can do it, I’m right there baby, eating at your five star restaurant, trying everything on your goddamn menu, I’m having it all and I’m fucking hungry baby, I don’t wanna stop.”

  
  


The moan that comes through the phone is _desperate_ and needy—a long, crooning whimper that devolves into a hitched half-gasp, half- _sob_.

“Yyy-yes, _yes_ , feels so good, baby, so _good_ — _nnhh!_ —not even t- _ou_ ching, baby, just letting you fill me with your fingers and your tongue, so _good_ —harder, need it h-harder, _please_ —“

  
  


"F- _uuuck_ " Dave groans at the idea, the goddamn tables being flipped, at Karkat not touching himself. “God, you really want me so fucking bad, don’t you? You’re moaning so fucking perfect for me, I’m fucking my fingers harder baby, gotta make you _really_ feel it, gotta make you feel fucking _worshipped_ like the incredible, delicious man you are- love you so much baby, love hearing your noises, love making you feel good- wanna eat you out for _hours_ baby, wanna having you writhing and sobbing, begging for me to make you cum, wanna just get all my fucking face in there and _lick_ baby, get you so goddamn wet with my spit until its running down my goddamn chin.”

  
  


Karkat is gasping for air between loud, keening moans, heady and wanting.

“W-wanna do what you want, wanna cum on j-just your fingers and tongue— _christ_ —I’m so cl-close, baby, so close, right there, _fuck_ , right th- _ere_ —“

  
  


“Come on, come on baby,” Dave chants, “you can do it, come on- cum on my tongue baby, so fucking deep and wet, I’ve got you, fucking you so good on my tongue-”

He feels fucking _feverish_ , scrambling for the water and switching it to cold again, needing to cool himself off, his dick is so fucking hard, ass clenching- but all he wants to do is make Karkat cum, make him feel good, so he shoves himself under the spray again, gasping out, “I’m tugging at your rim, working you open so I can get as deep as I can, baby- come on, my cherry pie, my lovely fucking boyfriend, moaning so loudly for me, god-”

  
  


Karkat lets out a sharp, breaking gasp that turns into a loud, _loud_ moan.

“S-still not touching, baby, feels so good with j-just your fingers n’ tongue I don’t have to— _mmn_ —oh, fu _ck_ —grinding deep inside me like you always do, feels so good, baby— _mnhaah_ , _fffu-uckkk_ —D- _Dave_ , baby, I’m so close, _so close_ , a-aah— _unnahh_!”

  
  


There’s a few seconds of only the sound of rushing water, and small, broken gasps breaking through the white noise.

  
  


“Baby, baby, _baby_ —“ Karkat croons, needy and wet, “Want you t-to cum, too, baby—“

  
  


Dave has a very very brief moment of grappling with himself, indecision warring through him.

Fuck- he can cum, right? But also denying himself feels so fucking good- but Karkat’s telling him to cum too- but the cold feels _good_ , a dizzying punishment for fucking up last night- but Karkat’s telling him to cum _too_ -

Dave stops thinking, and flips the water to warm again.

“Fuck, baby-” He groans, grabbing his dick. “God, you’re so fucking perfect- I could eat your ass for _hours_ baby, so fucking good-” He’s bracing his forehead on the shower wall, now, cradling his phone to his ear, water running down his back. “God- uh, _fuck_ -” He groans. Getting to touch himself properly for the first time in days means it doesn’t take much- just a couple of pumps and he’s gone, moaning heavily as his legs shake.

  
  


Karkat is still gasping for air on the other side of the line, breaths laboured and shaky. “That’s it, baby— _hahh_ —cum for me…”

The ambient noise of the rushing water goes away on Karkat’s end of the line as he switches off the tap. There’s still a faint sound of water dripping to the shower floor, and Karkat’s ragged breaths, but otherwise he’s quiet as he listens to Dave as he gets his own release.

  
  


Dave breathes, heavy and ragged, listening to Karkat. “Fuck.” He groans. “God.” It’s like he got his fucking gut yanked out through his dick- finally getting to cum while touching himself. There’s a little flicker of unease in the back of his mind, but he’s able to ignore it, focusing on Karkat, on Karkat’s breathing and the water beating down over his shoulders.

“Maybe we should have phone sex more often.” Dave says, laughing as he reaches for the knob, switching it off. “That was pretty great.”

  
  


There’s some shuffling sounds on Karkat’s end as he picks up the phone and gets out of the shower, laughing softly at Dave’s remark.

There’s another shuffle, and his voice is distant as he replies, “Yeah, we’re really getting the hang of this long-distance thing, huh?”

There’s a ruffling sound and Karkat doesn’t say anything for a few moments—scrubbing his hair with a towel, most likely. There’s just the sound of cloth, Karkat’s breathing and soft grunts as he dries off and gets dressed. Finally there’s another garbled noise and then the echoey sound of the speakerphone is gone, and Karkat’s voice comes out clear.

“Well, I dunno ‘bout you, but _I’m_ feeling _much_ better now,” Karkat says, voice sounding calm and content the way it always does after sex, “Hope y’liked your reward.”

  
  


“We sure are.” Dave says, scrounging around for a towel. Oh goddammit is he really going to have to walk to his room naked and wet? Seems to be so. He does a little shake, trying to get as much water off as possible.

 _Not that I prefer it_ . Dave thinks to himself as he hurries out of the bathroom and to his room, the cold air stinging against his skin. _I’d rather remain as close-distance boyfriends, thanks._

He gets into his room, closes the door, and immediately finds his towel to start drying off, dropping his phone on his desk and switching to speakerphone as he towels off and hunts for some clean clothes. He catches the end of Karkat’s sentence and pauses.

…reward? For what, for making it to class on time? Dave legit has no idea what Karkat’s talking about.

“Well I sure as shit enjoyed the _hell_ out of that.” He says, drifting closer to the phone as he rubs the towel through his hair. “But I’m not sure what that was a reward for?”

  
  


Karkat chuckles softly, relaxed and somewhat sleepy; blissed-out. “For going _two whole days_ without touching, dumb-dumb. Told ya I’d give you permission, right?”

  
  


Dave feels his face go hot. “Oh.” He manages, ducking his head, pressing a hand to his mouth. The faint concern in the back of his head dissipates. “Thanks, Karkat. That was real fucking nice of you.”

He actually hadn’t been planning to cum at all from that- but well, Karkat gave him permission- so he did.

Wow. He has the best fucking boyfriend in the world.

The thought makes him grin as he hunts down his pants, picks them up, then decides not to wear them, tossing them to the side and deciding to lounge in just his boxers. He feels good, feels relaxed and happy, and it feels _nice_.

For the first time since Karkat left for California, he doesn’t feel worried at all. He was good enough for Karkat to _reward_ , to earn a reward- and that means that he’s being good and doing things right. Somehow. Despite his fuckups, Karkat’s happy enough with him to _reward_ him.

He grabs his phone and switches it off speakerphone, flopping down onto his bed.

“Mmm.” He stretches a bit. “Feel like I could take a nap now.” He says with a laugh. “But probably shouldn’t- my sleeps already fucked up enough.”

  
  


A bubble of laughter erupts from Karkat that sounds a mix between surprised and amused. “Well, you’re welcome. Certainly earned it. Did you seriously not touch at all until I said t—why am I even asking, of _course_ you didn’t. _God_. You’re somethin’ else, D. Incredible.”

There’s the sounds of Karkat shifting around on the couch, sighing in contentment as he reclines. “Know what you mean about a nap,” he says lightly, “But I don’t want to fuck up my internal clock any more than I already have, either. Plus if I sleep I can’t keep talking to you. Maybe we should watch another movie or something?”

  
  


Dave can feel the grin on his face at Karkat’s words- his chest feels soft and shivery and like clay- like Karkat could sink his fingers in and just press Dave into any shape he wants. Dave doesn’t have to try and put up a brave front like this- he can grin as stupid and sappy as he wants.

Just hearing Karkat call him _incredible_ \- It makes Dave want to kick his feet like a giddy schoolgirl which is _so_ fucking uncool- but Karkat’s not actually here to see it right now, so he rolls onto his stomach and puts his feet up in the air and lets them silently kick a bit to disperse some of the pleased energy.

“That could definitely be fun.” Dave says, trying to keep his giddiness out of his voice. He’s not entirely sure if he succeeds. “I could start showing you one of the shows, cause I don’t think I’ve got another movie on tap right now.”

  
  


“Sure, babe,” Karkat says, sounding pleased, “I’m sure all the questions I have will keep me alert and awake, same goes for you answering them. Thankfully you’re not missing much dialogue with this type of shit when it’s reading subtitles. We both chat through movies and shit so much, I can’t believe we’ve never thought to watch anime together before. That’s a fuckin’ blunder on my part. I’ve failed as a boyfriend. Should have been more in tune with your interests. I’ll take a demerit point for that one. My gleaming, immaculate record—tarnished.”

  
  


Dave grins as he opens his laptop. “You know what, I’ll take that tarnished record and buff that shit right out again.” He says. “You’re fuckin’ silver, babe, it’ll buff right out with a little bit of loving.” He makes an obnoxious kissy noise into the phone. " _Mwah_. There. Demerit point removed."

  
  


Karkat gasps in faux-surprise. “Oh, wow. Yep, all gone. Thanks, babe.” The cheeky grin is apparent in Karkat’s voice, “Alright, hook me up. Which Japanese rom-com are we starting off with?”

  
  


Dave feels like his grin gets _wider_ , somehow. “Okay, first one I thought of last night is Ranma 1/2 and so that is the first fucking show we’re starting with- because I know you are going to _lose your shit_.”

He’s pulling up the first episode as he talks, feeling like he’s about to kick himself right off the bed from the force of how hard his feet are wiggling. He really really needs to tone it down, but-

 _Incredible_. The word just keeps circling in his head, filling up his chest.

  
  


“Sounds like a plan to me,” Karkat says, “Let me grab my laptop. Actually, let me make some food first.”

Karkat brings his phone with him into the kitchen and there’s a muffled sound as he sets the phone on the counter and turns on speakerphone again. The echo-reverb kicks back in, and the distant sound of Karkat puttering around Jade’s kitchen can be heard. Cupboards and the fridge opening and closing, cereal tinkling into a bowl. After a few minutes Karkat picks the phone up and walks back over to the couch, getting set up with his laptop before taking the call back off speakerphone.

“Alright, all set.” Karkat announces finally, “Let the martial arts romance hijinks ensue.”

  
  


Dave folds his arms on the bed and rests his head on them, letting his eyes close as he waits, just listening to the sounds of Karkat making food. It’s nice. It’s _comfortable_.

Gradually, the kicking of his feet slows as he waits, some of his gleeful energy simmering down lower into just a peaceful joy, diffusing through him and warming him from the inside out.

He had made a snap decision earlier- and for once it was a _good_ one. He had done exactly what Karkat wanted- and it was good because _he_ had been good.

He perks up when Karkat returns. “Oh hell yes, okay, let’s do this.” He says with a grin, kicking his feet again. “I cannot _wait_ to hear your shipping choices- there are _so fucking many_.”

  
  


“You _know_ I’m multishipper trash,” Karkat says, “I’m making a shipping chart spreadsheet as we speak. Going to colour-code it and everything.”

  
  


“God I love you.” Dave says, the words slipping out so easily. It feels so fucking _natural_ to say these days, simple and easy and precious every time. That’s yet another thing that Dave can’t stop being giddy over- how fucking _easy_ Karkat seems to make everything. “You big dork.” He starts the episode and they settle in to watch.

  
  


Karkat scoffs softly. “ _You’re_ the dork,” he says, but his voice is warm. Full of affection. “And it’s cute as fuck. It’s nice seeing you like this. Uh, well, not _see_ —but I’m sure you look as cute as you sound. Can’t wait to do this in person so I can see for myself.”

  
  


Dave laughs. “Okay, yeah, if you think lying in just my boxers on the bed with wet hair is cute, then that’s your prerogative.” He teases. “Clearly I need to lounge around half naked more often with a convenient glass of water to dampen my hair whenever I need to raise my charm levels.”

  
  


“You in nothing but boxers and damp hair doesn’t sound cute at all,” Karkat retorts, “Because that’s _sexy_ as fuck. So by all means, feel free to lounge around half-naked fresh out of the shower more often…preferably when I’m home to enjoy it.”

  
  


“Well now, sir _yes_ sir.” Dave says cheekily. “I hope you understand the beast you’re unleashing- I’ll practically be a nudist at your apartment cause of this, Karkat.”

  
  


“That sounds like the opposite of a problem.”


	10. Chapter 10

Dave has to press his face to the bed for a moment. “Well, then, I’ll be fulling expecting you to follow through, baby.” He says. “Pluck my peaches whenever you want.” He’s trying to inject as much eyebrow waggling energy into his voice as possible.

  
  


Karkat chuckles, low and hoarse. “As long as I’m the only one who gets to partake,” he says, his voice a soft purr, “Might just have to uproot the tree, take it somewhere nobody else can find it. But where it’ll still get lots of light.”

  
  


Dave’s heart squeezes tight in his chest and he grins like a stupid fool. “Don’t worry, baby- I’m already in your backyard and it’s fenced in- you don’t gotta worry about any thieves. You’re the only one who gets access, special VIP status.”

  
  


Karkat hums. “I don’t know, people are probably gonna try and get smart. That pretty little peach tree doesn’t stay small forever, it keeps on growing and then it blooms in the spring and it looks like something out of a storybook. A motherfucker or two is going to try and scale that fence, _for sure_ ,” the smirk bleeds out of Karkat’s every syllable, it can practically be heard spreading across his lips, “But I’ll chase them all off. Nobody touches that tree but _me_.”

  
  


The meaning behind Karkat’s words slams into Dave with all the force of a jock shoving a nerd into a locker. Hard, rough, a little bit painful, and you can’t fucking pull your attention away from it.

_You’re mine._

_Only_ _**I** _ _can touch you_.

Dave feels fucking _breathless_ . His toes curls and he fights to keep his voice steady as he says, “I would sure hope so, baby- I don’t _want_ anyone else touching me. Gonna be my fucking Ladon, curled around me, protecting my roots?”

  
  


Karkat makes a little breathless sound that almost seems like a laugh. “Funny you should say that,” he says, “Reminds me of—ah, well, it was a pretty silly thought, actually. You’re probably gonna laugh. You know how you made me a paladin in that campaign? How you said it was because I always protect you? Well, I sort of started to think…instead of being a knight, if I was a dragon instead. And I picked you up and flew off with you and brought you into a treasure trove, and—heh…there’s probably a Hozier song in there somewhere, huh? Told you it was silly.”

  
  


Dave rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. What the fuck. What the _fuck_ , why is his boyfriend so fucking perfect? He feels like his brain is doing the equivalent of a keysmash right now.

" _Definitely_ a Hozier song in there." He says faintly, his heart pounding. “I- what the _fuck_ babe, that’s so fucking- _ugh_ , god- just gonna make me part of your hoard, huh? Protecting me? That’s _so_ fucking hot.”

  
  


“R-really?” Karkat’s voice has gone back up to it’s normal register, as though he’s snapped out of a trance. “Wow, uh—shit, dude, I totally thought you were gonna laugh. Or call me a weirdo or something. You know…something to deflect from how…weirdly possessive that train of thought is.”

Karkat’s voice has trailed off into a mumble by the time he finishes speaking, and then he’s quiet.

  
  


Dave chews on his lip for a moment. He… really has basically no fucking frame of reference for what kind of shit is ‘normal’ and what is… well. From the Bitch.

(It’s easier, to think of her as Bitch. It’s like if he doesn’t think her name, she doesn’t have quite as much power over him. Or something.)

So Dave just shrugs a little and goes, “dunno, that shit’s hot. Like- having you fucking love me so much you wanna hide me away and protect me? Yeah, that’s Big Fucking Sexy, Karkat.” His face feels hot, but he’s standing by what he’s saying, dammit. Some of his favorite scenes that he was ever put in were the ones where he got tied up to shit and back- something about being in ropes just made him feel… safe.

Fuck, now he’s thinking about Karkat tying him up. Hng.

  
  


“Well, I mean…it’s certainly not fucking news to anyone that I’m, uh— _very_ protective when it comes to you, so…yeah. As long as you don’t mind it, I guess that all that matters.” Karkat says, though his voice is still quiet, as though he’s embarrassed. He laughs a little, and it seems a bit incredulous and nervous. “It’s honestly a bit scary, the things I would do. To make sure you were safe. Didn’t know I had it in me, but…damn if it isn’t there.”

  
  


_Protective_. Karkat wants to protect him. Dave pulls the phone closer and curls around it, face hot, anime all but forgotten at this point. His stomach feels full of buttered noodles, warm and full and kinda squirmy

“Yeah?” He ends up asking. “Like- dragon hoard kind of scary? Or what?” He wants to know, wants to hear the kinda things Karkat would do to protect him. To _keep him safe_.

It’s weird. Dave doesn’t know if anyone’s… _ever_ wanted to do that. The Bitch sure as shit didn’t, and… well. Bro wanted to toughen him up, not keep him safe, so- maybe Feferi did, but she more just wanted to get him _out_.

So… Karkat’s it, and… it feels _good_.

  
  


“Not exactly,” Karkat says, and he sounds a tad sheepish, “More like…the things I would do if anyone so much as set foot in that horde. The lengths I would go to keep everyone out. Just keep burying you deeper and deeper in gold. Your hair and your skin blend right in, no one should be able to see. And I’d set up traps and warding spells and if anyone got too close they’d be burned, or ripped apart.”

Karkat’s voice goes from shy and small to soft and low the more he speaks, talking himself back into the trance.

“I’d drag all the coins you’re hidden under towards me and hold you close…keep you warm, curl myself around you. The most precious thing to me, worth more than any piece of treasure in there…”

  
  


Dave’s heart pounds harder as he listens to Karkat, feeling his breath catch. If he closes his eyes, he can almost picture it- Karkat settling him into the middle of mountains of gold, calling him things like _precious_ and _treasure_ and _**mine** _, and he has to give a shuddering exhale to try and calm himself down.

But- Karkat curling around him, so much bigger and stronger, protecting him-

“ _Fuck.”_ Dave chokes out. “Don’t stop- don’t stop talking, just- hold on baby-” He scrambles on the bed, shoving his laptop away, yanking at the blankets and burrowing underneath them, wanting that warmth, wanting that heat- it’s already warm in the room but he wants to be _sweltering_ , wants to feel Karkat’s warmth, and it’s a matter of moments to yank up all the blankets around him and make a nest, curling up with his phone next to his pillow again.

“Okay, fuck-” Dave feels fucking _breathless_ , fucking entranced by Karkat’s words. “You’d curl around me? I bet you’d be real fucking warm, as a dragon.”

  
  


“I would never leave you alone, I’d always keep you as close to me as possible. We’d hardly ever leave that trove—it’s warm and it’s safe and it’s home and it’s _ours_ —and when I do leave I’ll come back as fast as my wings can get me there, because I can’t stand to be apart from you longer than I have to. And I keep bringing back more treasure. Things that remind me of you. Golden and shining and incredible and _perfect_ —but still not as much as you. I don’t even bring them back for me, none of the treasure is for me to admire, but gifts for _you_. Reminders of what you are to me. And I’ll surround you in them until it’s all you can see, until everywhere you look is sparkling gold. There’s never anything tarnished, or broken, nothing to remind you of what I took you away from. You’re there so long you don’t remember it anymore. All you see is gold and all you feel is warmth. All you know is me.”

  
  


Dave trembles at Karkat’s words, it’s like they’re filling him up from the inside out, filling out every hollowed part of his chest.

“Fuck.” He whispers. Breathing feels hard, the air around him hot, the blankets heavy- it feels so _fucking good_. He wants that, wants to be perfect, wants to be beautiful and one of Karkat’s treasures, wants to be protected and taken care of- wants to be something for Karkat to touch and hold and _own_.

“All I know is _you_.” Dave breathes. “God- fuck, Karkat- you’re making me so fucking emotionally horny right now baby, that- I _want that_ , I wanna be a treasure for you to have- wanna be part of your hoard and let you protect me- _god_ -”

  
  


“ _Christ_ ,” Karkat’s voice comes out in a husky whisper, “Damn, D, if I’d known all this would affect you this much I would’ve let you in on more of the shit that goes on in my head. You know I’ve got a vivid fucking imagination.” Karkat laughs softly, “Thought all of this would…would bother you, make you feel like I’m trapping you. I never want to hold you back. I just…I just want to _keep_ you.”

  
  


“Karkat.” Dave licks his lips, reaches out and switches his phone off speakerphone, and tucks it right up against his ear, curling into himself. “There is _nothing_ I want more than for you to fucking- I don’t know how to say it, fuck- fucking _possess_ me? _Own_ me? I don’t know, but- god. I just want to be _yours_ completely.”

  
  


“I guess that was something that freaked me out about mentioning this kind of stuff before,” Karkat says softly, “You—You would say that you were a _toy_. Like when, um…huh. How do I—okay. So it’s called, uh, _play_ , right? And if you’re a—the _toy_ , then…then that’d mean _I’m_ the only one that’s playing. So I never wanted you to think of yourself as—as just a _toy_. Because you’re not my toy, Dave, you’re—“

Karkat’s silent for a few beats, and there’s just the sound of his breath. When he speaks again, his voice comes out in an awed whisper.

“…you’re my _treasure_.”

Karkat keeps going, his voice still hushed but talking fast. “I want to have every part of you, and have you give me every part _willingly_ . Without any fear, or doubt. I just want to—to fucking _adore_ you, worship you. Spread you open and worship every last inch…”

  
  


The name feels like a fucking fist around his heart, squeezing tight, forcing Dave to gasp, to try and breathe around the _pressure_ in his lungs.

 _Treasure_.

_Treasure, treasure, **treasure** _

Karkat wants to _have_ him, wants to _adore_ him, wants to fucking _worship_ him and god, Dave wants that- he doesn’t fucking _deserve_ it, but he _wants_ it- he wants Karkat to own him and look at him like he’s something perfect and _beautiful_.

 _I’m just a fucking toy for you-_ Dave still remembers the way that he moaned it out, wanting nothing more for Karkat to _use_ him, to take his pleasure from Dave’s body, to let Dave feel _useful_ \- and how quickly Karkat had shushed him, had told him _Oh, baby,_ _**no** _ _, you’re so much more than that-_

He swallows thickly. At the time it had been weird and confusing, not knowing what Karkat meant, what had he wanted, what was _more_ than a toy? A machine? He didn’t get it then-

But now he knows. Because Karkat had thought it was a _bad_ thing, something that meant that Dave wasn’t worth anything, which- he wasn’t _wrong_ . Dave _hadn’t_ thought he was worth anything, had just wanted to be something that can make Karkat feel good and be _useful_ so that Karkat would look at him and not think _worthless_.

But- now he’s trembling and his eyes are burning and everything is so hot and sinking into his bones and the weight of the blankets makes him feel safe, the heat making him dizzy and Karkat’s soft voice stealing his reservations because Karkat said things like _incredible_ and _good_ and fucking _**treasure** _ and he wants to keep Dave and _protect_ him, so all of these things tug the filter away from Dave’s fucking voice and let him say,

  
  


“ _I want that.”_ Tiny and choked. “I wanna be yours, Karkat, wanna- want to have you wrap around me and keep me safe- feel so fucking selfish for it, but I want to be yours- your t- your _treasure_ , like I’m something precious- The fucking crown jewel of your hoard-”

Fuck, he’s still running with this dragon theme- it’s hitting somewhere _deep_ and fucking primal in his chest.

Dave’s so tired of fighting a war in his own goddamn head. He wants to drop his sword, wants to take off his fucking crown of pride and fear. He just wants to be _Karkat’s_.

  
  


“ _Good_ ,” Karkat breathes out, and it sounds almost like a sigh of relief, “I _want_ you selfish, I _want_ you as greedy as I am. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Want us both to keep each other all to ourselves. You’re so much fucking more than just something I _use_ , something I pull my own wants and desires and pleasure from. I want to drag your pleasure out of _you_ , too. None of it is worth a fucking thing unless you feel good, too. Unless you feel like being worshipped by me is _exactly_ where you’re supposed to be. It’s where you _belong_. It’s what you _deserve_.”

  
  


Dave swallows, squeezing his eyes shut. Fuck. _Fuck_ . Karkat wants to have and and _worship_ him and Dave’s never wanted _anything_ more in his life than that.

Is this what Karkat’s meant all this time? He’s wanted Dave to be _this_ kind of selfish? The kind of selfish that makes Dave’s face go hot and his chest time but feels so fucking good, like he’s doing something wrong but it’s still _good_.

Like being selfish is what he _deserves_.

“Fu _uuck_ , Karkat-” He can feel his voice warble, his embarrassed desperation creeping into his tone. “I- I _want_ that, god- I don’t know how to but- I want that- I want to be yours completely, be something precious and worth being _yours_ -” His eyes are fucking burning, it’s hot in his throat, in his chest. He’s fucking sweating, in the heat of the blankets, it feels like Karkat’s all around him, holding him close, whispering to him, making him feel _good_.

  
  


“You wouldn’t need to think about a thing,” Karkat says softly, “it’s okay if you don’t know how, I’d _show_ you. Want you to see what—what _my_ version of domination looks like. I never wanted to use you, or hurt you, I…I _can’t_. You’re too important to me, I can’t do it, not even…not even for _pretend_. And maybe my version isn’t exactly textbook, either, but who gives a fuck. It’s what I want. And you—the fact you say you want that too…”

Karkat trails off for a moment, his voice getting so thick he could hardly get out the words. After a moment of pause, he continues.

“I’m so fucking _glad_ ,” Karkat says finally, and the relief is obvious in his voice now, “I want this to work, D. I want us to—god, the moment Feferi told me that if we could pull this off, that you’d be _completely mine_ …there’s nothing I wanted more. So I really want to—to keep trying. I want to make it work, in a way that works for _us_. Even if it means we have to fudge the rules a bit. It won’t be the _wrong_ way if it’s _our_ way.”

Karkat lets out a small, shaky sigh. “I just want you to see you the way I do. And never forget it.” he says, “And if you can’t think of yourself that way right now, it’s okay, I’ll show you, but—for now, think about it this way. You said you were able to see things differently when you flipped the tables, and put me in that position, right? How the thought of hurting _me_ made your stomach churn. So think about it like that. What does _your_ version look like? When you want to have all of me, what are you doing to get that?”

Karkat’s quiet for a time, letting it hang in the air so Dave can chew on the thought.

“For me, I think I see it is as…submissive doesn’t mean _lesser_. Sure, we could do a scene like…kind of like the one I was trying the other night? Where you’re uh, calling me _sir_ and you’re a subordinate. Where _you_ worship _me_. I just…tell you what to do, and you follow the orders and…and get rewarded for doing them.”

  
  


Karkat swallows thickly, a wet and thick sound, then he continues.

“It goes both ways, you know? You can be submissive and still have all of me. Shit, maybe the scene starts off as you being a fucking…low-ranking officer, calling me sir, but by the end _I’m_ the one calling _you_ sir. Because you kept following orders so you…climbed the ranks. I don’t know, maybe that’s broken as fuck, but —well, it sounds hot so fuckin’ whatever. And other times I can just…just tie you down and make every inch of you feel good, until you’re blissed-out and your whole body is tingling from how good you feel.” Karkat clears his throat, sounding a bit embarrassed suddenly, “Or, um—you know how we mentioned that, uhh…kidnapping scenario? Well, it could just be something like…I tie you to a chair, and instead of eliciting pain I’m pulling your pleasure from you so slowly that it’s _practically_ torture. You could be blindfolded so the sensations are even more intense. And I wouldn’t let you go until you came untouched…”

Karkat goes quiet again, trailing off as though he suddenly realized he’d been rambling on.

“Y-You know. Stuff like that.”

  
  


Dave closes his eyes, listening to Karkat talk. What _Karkat’s_ version of domination is like. He doesn’t want to use or hurt Dave- not even as _pretend._

That makes something in Dave’s belly squirm uncomfortably, but he keeps his mouth shut. He wants this, wants this to work with Karkat, wants to be good for him- and if that means that Karkat won’t ever _punish_ him, that’s… that’s fine. That’s alright. Dave can handle it himself- it’s not like hasn’t been doing that already.

There’s a tiny, niggling voice in the back of his head, whispering _don’t you think that would make Karkat upset, to find out that you’ve been punishing yourself? To find out that you’ve been going behind his back-_ but he kicks that stupid little voice to the curb.

It’s not Karkat’s responsibility to punish Dave. He doesn’t want to, so Dave will handle it himself. It’s fine. He doesn’t need Karkat to do something that makes him uncomfortable just for Dave’s sake.

He just wants to wrap himself in the sound of Karkat’s voice. Fuck, Karkat was still talking and Dave’s brain scrambles to catch up.

_Our way._

“Yeah.” He murmurs, closing his eyes as he tries to think. The idea of tying Karkat down and- fuck, Dave can’t even finish the thought without feeling dizzy and cold. Karkat doesn’t deserve that kind of punishment- Karkat should never be _crying_ from things that Dave does to him. If he breaks the rules it should be a loving correction that feels fucking _good_ -

Dave’s heart lurches uncomfortably. He… he wants that, wants loving corrections. Wants to be told he’s good but he just made a little mistake and he can _be_ good. He wants to be treated gently, softly, like he’s precious. Like _treasure_.

But.

With the Bitch’s punishments- They were _also_ good. Dave feels like he should be saying how much they hurt and how he knew they were wrong and how they were terrible and he doesn’t ever want it again- but.

That would be a lie.

Dave _does_ want it. He wants the blazing lines of a cane on his ass, he wants the bursts of pain from a flog, wants the hazy _hazy_ _**bliss**_ of knowing where his place is, of knowing that this is his punishment and afterwards he’s good again. He doesn’t have to worry if his dom is happy with him or not- because he took the punishment and that means he was good.

He flexes his feet. There’s a phantom ache in them as he listens to Karkat and as Karkat’s quiet, asking what Dave’s version looks like, he tries not to think _you caning me as I beg for more_.

He tries to wrench his thoughts into place. When he has Karkat under him. When he has _all of Karkat_.

Thoughs of Karkat spread out underneath him come to mind, Dave getting to play and explore and just _enjoy_ Karkat- fuck, right now Dave isn’t even thinking of anything sexual- he just thinks about lying on top of Karkat and just draping himself over Karkat, pressing against him just to reaffirm that like- that Karkat is _his_. And he’s Karkat’s.

 _Oh_.

His face goes hot. Being directed on how to worship Karkat- that sounds- that sounds _good_ . But- the idea of switching in a scene? _Willingly?_ Dave squirms a little at the idea, chewing on his lip, remembering the last time he switched- and how massively he had fucked it up.

But. But the kidnapping idea sounds good. Dave likes that, likes the idea of being helpless at Karkat’s mercy.

“I like that, baby.” He says softly. “I like that a lot- I just…” He doesn’t really know what to say. “I don’t- I don’t really care _what_ we do. I just want to do things with you. I want to be yours in any way that you want me, and- like I said, I’ll follow your lead. I’m pretty sure a lot of shit I would probably, um. Ask for might be stuff you wouldn’t want to do, so.”

 _Why_ did he say that. Now Karkat is going to ask and Dave is going to have to tell him because Dave can’t fucking lie for shit when Karkat is pressing for an answer.

“So I’ll-” He pushes on, trying to get past what he had just said, “I’ll follow your lead, baby, cause I wanna do this with you, want to- fuck, fudge the rules, right? I want you to be comfortable with this and, and- I guess… I do too.” He mumbles. “So… whatever you want to try- I’ll try it with you.”

  
  


Karkat is quiet for a long moment, to the point Dave has to strain to listen for his breathing to reaffirm that he’s still there.

Then, Karkat lets out a long exhale. It doesn’t sound…exasperated, though that would be the first inclination. It’s hard to tell, really, not being able to see the expression on Karkat’s face. But it doesn’t sound like any of his usual frustrated, annoyed noises. Therefore Dave has no clue what the fuck to make of it.

The line is quiet for another beat, but then Karkat finally speaks and his voice is low, and soft.

“Try me.”

  
  


_Try me._

Dave takes a deep breath as his pulse spikes. He feels dizzyingly nervous.

“I.” He starts, then licks his lips. Tries again. “I dunno I just- You don’t wanna do anything that… that _hurts_ me, so I…”

_Try me._

Dave tries to find the words to explain. “And even… even good hurt might be too much.” He tries. “The ice last night- that was. Was good hurt. But it was- you didn’t-”

Dave swallows. Whispers, _“I like being hurt, Karkat.”_

He waits for the rejection.

  
  


There isn’t a long pause this time. Karkat’s response is practically immediate, as though he knew staying silent for any longer than a few seconds would make Dave squirm.

“…Oh,” Karkat says, practically in a whisper.

There’s a short beat, just the sound of Karkat’s breath. Then a shuffle. Maybe he moved the phone from one ear to the other? Leaned back in his chair, and he’s staring up at the ceiling in shock?

“Well,” Karkat says, and his voice croaks. He clears his throat. “That’s certainly a bit of a deadlock.”

Another pause, but it’s the shortest one before Karkat immediately continues, talking fast, “Fuck, that—wow, that was a douche fucking thing to say. Uh—wow, um…”

Karkat sighs. “Okay. Alright. Okay, so…” he tries again, but then he blows out another breath, like he’d held a bunch of air in his cheeks and then forced it out. “Fuck, alright.”

It seems more like Karkat’s talking to himself. Like he’s psyching himself up. Like Dave’s got him standing on the top of the high-dive at the local swimming pool and Karkat’s staring down at the water, far, far below. Working up the courage to jump.

“So,” Karkat says finally, and his voice comes out a few octaves higher than normal. High and nervous. “You like to be hurt. I have…reservations…about hurting you. In certain ways, anyway. I mean, I said it myself, right? That there’s good-hurt and bad-hurt. So it’d be pretty fucking hypocritical and shit of me to not, uh, follow my own advice. The ice was a good-hurt…so, that’s good. That’s good. I know that I, uh…kind of panicked the other night, but—okay. Uh, I just…I was worried it really, _really_ hurt but that you weren’t saying anything. Because—because you—felt like you couldn’t? I don’t know, maybe the option of giving you an out is more for _me_ because I’m more of a fucking coward than you are.”

Karkat huffs a little at that.

“I guess there’s just stuff I’ve got to work myself up to. It’s—it’s _conditioning_ , right?”

Karkat is quiet for a moment, making a small, contemplative hum.

“I thought that just applied to you, but…I guess not. There’s stuff I have to be conditioned for, too. I want to be able to give you everything you want. And if that includes…not—not _hurting_ you, but giving you _good pain_ , then…that’s just something I’ll need to work on. I want to do that, for you.”

  
  


Dave feels his heart plummet into his stomach at Karkat’s little _‘oh’_. It feels somewhere around his gut as Karkat keeps going, and all he can do is just. Wait for Karkat to put his thoughts together.

His face feels hot as he listens to Karkat talk. There’s a guilty squirm in his belly as Karkat talks about the ice, but Dave won’t say anything- if he says the slightest wrong thing he just _knows_ that Karkat will shut the fuck down and that’ll be the end of it.

Because last night, he _had_ wanted to stop. His tongue had hurt and then gone numb and his teeth had ached but Karkat didn’t tell him to stop so he kept going and the pain of it made his head _quiet_ . It felt so fucking good to be- to be _forced_ to sit it through. Because Karkat hadn’t said stop. It was a dizzying ache of cold and pain and _bliss_ and _being good_. Fuck. It’s all so complicated in his head, Dave is sure if he tried to explain it it would all come out so wrong.

It had hurt, and Dave had wanted to stop, but he also _didn’t_ because wanting to say no and then getting forced past it anyway is- is _good_ . It’s _good_ and it felt good and it was so fucking blissful that it’s just one big jumble of sensation where he hadn’t had to do anything but feel and feeling good came out on top.

But Karkat is saying he’ll work on it. He wants to give Dave the _good pain_ , and Dave feels a heady throb in his gut at that, flexing his feet against the phantom ache.

“Okay.” He says. “I- _okay_.” He feels like he’s about to start crying. Why is Karkat so fucking _good_. “Thank you.” He whispers. “I- I don’t want to make you feel like you _have_ to do this, but- but thank you.”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and says, “I- I think I know something that would be easier to- to start with. Last night I was telling you about the times- and one of them was. Um. You spanking me for almost breaking a rule. You sounded like you were really into the idea- _that’s_ good hurt.”

  
  


“Y-Yeah,” Karkat says, and his voice sounds unsteady and shaky with nerves but—maybe something else too?

Karkat clears his throat a little more. “Yeah, actually, it…hah, okay, maybe I can talk about this one a bit, too. It kind of goes back to the whole superior/subordinate thing. Maybe I like the idea of that one because it’s like…the taboo of it? And despite you being a subordinate it’s like…we’re still on an even playing field. Equals, yet not. The power dynamic is there but can be _altered_ , given the circumstances. Depending on how…how _good_ you are. But, yeah, um—I was picturing, like, uh…” Karkat starts to sound a bit sheepish as he tries to regale Dave with his thought process, “Um…I guess I’ve always thought the idea of one of us being fully clothed while the other is completely naked is…pretty fuckin’ hot. And in this case it would be me in like…like business-casual shit. Or even a full fuckin’ suit, who knows. And if you like…got it _dirty_ , I could…put you over my lap and…” Karkat trails off, his voice going hoarse by the end.

  
  


“O- _oh_.” Dave feels his breath catch and yeah, it was still recovering earlier, but his dick is definitely starting to get interested again. Fuck, Karkat would look _incredible_ in a suit- and with Dave there before him, completely naked, he’d be so fucking _exposed_ -

“Fuck that sounds- that sounds really fucking hot, Karkat-” Dave swallows. “Like- calling you _sir_ and… sucking you off but I drool on your suit, so you need to take me over your lap-”

Fuck, he can hear the horny note sliding into his voice and he clears his throat, face hot. “Y-yeah. Yeah, that’s good. That’s- really good.”

 _Taboo_ , huh? Fuck, that- that gives Dave another idea and fuck, guess he’s going full on horny again.

“Um. If it’s like- about uhm. Being… fuck, _equals but not?_ Would something like- you being a tutor and- and spanking me for every wrong answer kind of- be like that? And then rewarding me for right ones?” Oh this is really not where he should be taking this conversation because he is getting _really_ turned on.

  
  


“Yeah, that would work, too,” Karkat says, clearly trying to keep his tone casual as though he and Dave were discussing the fucking weather or some shit, but not doing a very good job because the high note to his voice is a dead giveaway.

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he laughs a bit.

“Could take it one further, and really crank up the otaku factor,” he says, “this anime just gave me an idea. And I just realized how messed up it is to have this conversation while some cutesy rom-com anime is playing, but—well, I would expect nothing less from us at this point, I guess. Anyway, uh—you could be in a schoolgirl outfit? I’m picturing like…ah, whoever the red one was in Sailor Moon. Like a short, red, pleated skirt. You’d probably look cute as _hell_.”

  
  


Dave grins, feeling some of the embarrassment ebb away at Karkat’s words.

“Shit, you know I would. Admit it, babe, you just want to get my long beautiful legs on display. I’d _shave_ for you and everything.”

Oh.

Hng. Dave might’ve just found a new kink. Oh god. Holy shit, thinking about Karkat smoothing shaving cream up his leg, slowly dragging the razor over his skin as Dave has to stay as still as possible-

F _uuuuck_.

“'Sides, I bet you’d love the easy access to my ass.” Dave teases despite the heat in his face. And the tent in his boxers.

  
  


“You _do_ have great legs,” Karkat says, “I swear you’re part grasshopper, they’re so fuckin’ long. And yet you never wear shorts to show them off. I don’t know how you lived in Texas and wore skinny jeans practically year round. I guess the same way I wore sweatpants 24/7…”

Karkat trails off, and he pauses for a moment.

“But, um,” he continues, a bit awkwardly, “yeah, getting to, uh…pull up your skirt and…uh…” he clears his throat a third time, as though he’s trying to cough the word out of his throat, “s-spank you,” his voice comes out in a choked off whisper—“I…I think I could handle something like that.”

Karkat’s quiet for a moment, then exhales shakily.

“Is there, um…anything else? I know we already do stuff like, um…biting, and scratching…and I can give…spanking a try, too. Did you have any other ideas?”

  
  


Dave bites his lip, toes curling a little at the idea of Karkat just- just flipping his skirt up and laying spanks across his ass- oh god yeah, _that’s_ making his dick throb.

Getting bent over Karkat’s lap, his skirt up- god, with _panties_ tugged down to pin his legs together- yeah this is _really_ making Dave’s boner worse.

“U-uhm.” Dave swallows, trying to think of other good hurts that Karkat might be okay with. “I- It’s something that we’ve been… kinda doing but- not letting me, um. Letting me cum at all. Like- getting me all the way close- and then. Just taking me back down to- completely down. Denying me completely. Until it’s. It’s too much- and it _hurts_ and I gotta beg-”

  
  


“Yeah, wow—yeah, orgasm denial is _definitely_ something I’m good with,” Karkat says in a rush, “Figured that little nugget of information about myself out back, uh…the first time we tried. When I had you tied up and told you not to cum…th-that I wanted my five year’s worth. That was equally as hot in the reverse. Actually, all of it is. Yeah, um…”

Karkat seems like he’s practically short of breath by this point, every sentence feels choked out and laborious, as though he’s holding something at bay. There’s some shuffling and Karkat says a quick “hang on” under his breath and it sounds like he’s bringing the phone with him as he gets up and walks.

There’s the sound of the seal on a fridge door, or maybe it’s the freezer, opening. Rummaging. Then the snap of the door being shut. Then some more ruffling before Karkat sounds like he’s sitting back down with a sigh.

“Hm, that might be…” Karkat mumbles, as if to himself, “you said the ice was a good hurt, so…maybe something like temperature play? Like, kissing a warm trail of kisses down your chest and stomach and then…running an ice cube down in the same spot…I don’t even know if that’s, uh, BDSM or whatever, but…I dunno. It was just a thought I had when you brought up the ice the other night. And my trip to the freezer just now reminded me. Guess it could be a way to deny you. Give you a bunch of warm touches, get you feeling super good, right on the edge and then…put an ice cube in my mouth for a bit to get my tongue super cold and then…go down on you.” Karkat’s voice is low and practically hazy by this point, clearly caught up in the fantasy, “and even that would still probably feel super fucking good but there’s a contradiction…and you wouldn’t be _allowed_ to cum. So…if my mouth got warm again and you lost control, couldn’t help yourself…I could, uh, put that ice cube back in my mouth and then kiss you and slip it into your mouth…”

  
  


Dave grins to himself, a little bit sappy and a lot a bit fond at Karkat’s words. Yeah. He’s not too sure why he was nervous about that one- it’s basically what they’ve been doing over the last couple days.

(And Dave was good enough at it that Karkat _gave him a reward_ , that Karkat _called him incredible_. His chest feels tight and warm just remembering it.)

Oh hold on _just a fucking second_ \- “Baby literally everything you are saying sound _hot_ as fuck, _especially_ with how you’re talking about using ice to deny me, and _god_ fucking kissing me the ice- I’m so fucking hard right now but _are you icing your dick?!_ What the fuck that is _so_ unfair if you’re allowed to do it and _I_ can’t.” Dave whines. His dick is _so fucking hard_ in his boxers- he wants to do something so badly right now.

  
  


“Oh, uh, n-no,” Karkat stammers, “I’m not.”

There’s a beat.

“I mean don’t get me wrong I’m equally as hard right now, but, uhhh…”

Another long pause.

“I was getting, uh, warm again. It’s really hot today so, uhm…y’know. I got the ice pack back out of the fridge.”

  
  


Dave fake-pouts at the phone.

" _Karkat._ " He whines. “Baby, come _on_ . If you’re going to be mean at least be _up front_ about it. Tell me that _you_ get to ice yourself down but _I_ don’t I have to stay sweating and hard in all these blankets while you get relief and I don’t- don’t be _sneaky_ about it.”

  
  


Karkat scoffs lightly. “Well, I didn’t tell you to go under a bunch of blankets, you dumbshit,” he says lightly, “maybe I’m icing my dick, maybe I’m not. Don’t see how it should concern you, I’m not the one who needs to _ask permission_ to ice, after all.”

  
  


Dave pauses.

“Ah.” He flushes, sinking more into the blankets. “That’s true.” He mumbles. “Can I ice?”

He’s expecting Karkat to say no. In fact, he’s _hoping_ Karkat says no and makes Dave suffer through it, through his arousal as they talk, as Karkat tells him about other ( _incredibly_ hot) possessive thoughts he’s had. He wants to be squirming and aching through each and every word that Karkat says.

  
  


“Nah,” Karkat says lightly, “seems like you’re nice and cozy under those blankets. Hate to make you get up to go get ice. Anyway, I just got another stroke of inspiration from this goddamn anime—because holy shit, that dude just handcuffed Ranma? So that he can’t escape from their fight? That came out of left field but damn if it ain’t hot as fuck. Reminds me of that kidnapping idea we had. I was picturing tying you to a chair but you know what, this guy is onto something. Maybe handcuffs would work better.”

  
  


Dave gives a little frustrated whine, but he’s happy that Karkat said _no_ \- that means he gets to helplessly wiggle his hips and try to handle the lazy arousal in his veins, tell it _down, boy_ and make it chill the fuck out.

Oh _right_ \- fucking Ranma, Dave had _completely_ forgotten they were watching that. He grabs at his computer, squinting at the scene.

“Oh, god- that’s hot as _fuck_ Karkat. Fucking cuffing me down so that you can do whatever you want? _Especially_ if I’m blindfolded? _Yes_ , please.”

Just _picturing_ it is making him shudder, his toes flexing uselessly against the bed.

  
  


“Think I’d use handcuffs for your wrists, but still use some rope or something like that for your ankles,” Karkat goes on, his voice light and casual as if he’s describing what he’s planning to make for dinner, “Can’t have you kicking them around.”

Karkat hums thoughtfully.

“Instead of tying each leg to the chair, I think I’d just tie them together at the ankles. Then once I had you all secured I’d start my torture down there and work my way up. Kiss all over the tops of your feet…then up those long, lovely legs…pressing kisses along the inside of your thighs. Just breathe on your cock, I’ll go back to that later, but you’d be hard already—which is pretty messed up, since you just got kidnapped and all. Falling for your captor after just a few kisses, huh?”

  
  


Dave feels like his breath is heavy in his chest- swallowing thickly, imagining the bite of the cuffs around his wrists, pressing them together under the blankets, pressing his ankles together, mimicking the feeling of being tied without any ties. Closing his eyes and imagining it.

He can feel the touch of hands on him, making him flinch from the unexpected touch, expecting pain from a kidnapper- but instead he gets soft little kisses, confusing him and making his heart race, squirming on the chair as they climb higher and higher, making a strange, throbbing heat gather in his belly.

“F-fuck…” Dave whispers. “I- I can’t help how my body reacts, it’s not my fault… and your hands would be so _gentle_ , it’d make my heart race… would you- would you be wearing gloves? Or touch me with your bare hands?”

  
  


“Definitely gloves,” Karkat replies instantly, “wouldn’t even be about being concerned with leaving fingerprints. I’ve got no intention to hurt you, after all. It’s just that…I’ve looked at you from afar for so long, and now I finally get the chance to touch you, but I still don’t feel like I _deserve_ to. So I keep the gloves on to keep your virtue intact while I still get the chance to finally feel you under my hands. Your skin is probably so _soft_ , I want to take the gloves off and feel it for myself…I shouldn’t even be kissing you, but I just can’t help myself. Your scent is _intoxicating_ , so I can’t stop. So I guess that means I’ve already sullied you. Maybe the gloves will come off, later. Maybe I’ll make you pull them off with your teeth.”

  
  


_Oh_ , that makes every hair stand on end, his thighs pressing together as his dick _throbs_. He wants that, wants to feel the leather ghosting up his skin- he pulls his wrists apart and shifts to be on his back, keeping his legs pressed together and eyes closed, taking his hands and slowly, lightly, running his hands up over his thighs.

The sensation makes his dick _jump_ , Karkat’s words pouring into his brain as a full-body shiver goes through him. Imagining the sound of Karkat fucking _smelling_ him makes a _wrecked_ gasp tear from his throat.

“H- hhah-” Dave moans weakly, just letting his hands drift up and down his thighs, barely, _barely_ touching- just barely enough to feel the tiniest bit of sensation and send shiver after shiver through his body.

“H-” He licks his lips, “How long?” He asks desperately. “How long were you- watching me? Wanting me?” Fuck, he’s just falling right into it- but Karkat’s the one talking, Karkat’s the one leading- so Dave’s just following wherever Karkat’ll take him.

  
  


“ _Years_ ,” Karkat purrs, his voice low and deep and hoarse—he’s clearly getting just as immersed in the fantasy as Dave is, “since the first moment I ever saw you. Before I even knew what I felt was _wanting_. And when I _did_ , it only intensified the feeling. All I wanted to do was find a way to get closer. I would get so jealous of the people who already were. They didn’t _deserve_ you—just moths drawn to your flame. Unworthy of it. And I am, too. But I don’t care. That’s why I had to take you away, where it can just be _us_. I can finally have you all to myself, forever. I know I don’t deserve to. So I won’t let you look at me, I’ll keep your eyes covered so all you can do is feel. I want you to touch me so badly but I know I don’t deserve that either. You’d probably make me burst into flames the moment you did. Besides, this isn’t about me. This is about _you_ —I want to pull pleasure from every inch of you until you’re drowning in it.”

  
  


_Years_. The word pulses through Dave like a fucking water canon in the goddamn ocean. A ripple of arousal in an already overwhelming sensation.

The idea of someone thinking he’s worth it- worth enough, _want_ him enough to watch him from afar for _years-_ It makes a strange, trembling, _breathless_ ache run through him.

Karkat’s just a moth- but he’s the moth who took a chance, stole him and hid him away- turned him into just _Karkat’s_ flame.

Daves hips are rocking against nothing, aimlessly seeking contact. He wants Karkat here to tease him- to make him feel good, to be his object of adoration and worship- because it doesn’t matter if _Dave_ thinks he’s worthy of it or not- it’s _Karkat’s_ decision.

He’ll keep Dave blindfolded- he doesn’t want sight distracting Dave- he just wants Dave to _feel,_ so feel Dave will.

“I’d want to see you-” Dave says, still trailing his hands over his thighs, still shivering. “It’d drive me crazy, not knowing what’s coming next- but it’d make my heart _dizzingly_ fast. Wanting to know who you are, what you’ll do to me. God- you’d kiss all over me and I wouldn’t know what to _do_ -” Dave whines softly. “I’d be so confused by how _gentle_ you’re being.”

  
  


“Of course I would be gentle,” Karkat whispers, “because even with you right there in front of me, I’d still be tentative. So, so nervous, even after I’ve gone so far as to _capture_ you. Like I almost can’t believe my luck. You’re really _there_ , real and perfect under my hands. The more exposed to you I am, so _close_ , the more I _want_ you. I thought I was desperate before but now that I can finally _have_ you, and you can’t get away—I can’t stop the thoughts that go through my head.”

Karkat breathes out, slow and shuddering.

“You’re shaking like a _leaf_ under my hands and I can’t tell if it’s from pleasure or fear. Maybe a mix of both. You keep asking me who I am, you want to see my face but I can’t let you, I _can’t_ —so I kiss you, keeping you quiet as I run my hands up your stomach, over your chest. You’ve got all these thin, white scars all over you. Someone else _hurt_ you, and it makes my blood fucking boil to think of it. I want to kill them, these people who thought they could touch you, could cause you pain…I want to take it all away, like I can leech the poison from you with my touch. I’ll kiss over every scar, so whenever you look at them you just remember the warm press of my mouth…”

  
  


_Of course he’d be gentle._ Like there’s no question about it. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Of course Karkat would be gentle, because he’s touching _Dave_.

Dave feels his eyes burn and he has to blink a couple of times to clear them as Karkat says _perfect_.

He deliberately shudders, trying to induce shivering in himself to match Karkat’s words- but _fuck_ it’s swelteringly hot under the blankets and they’re not doing dragon stuff so- he hastily kicks the blankets down and away, sighing in relief at the cooler air hitting his sweat-soaked skin.

Karkat kissing him to keep him quiet- "hah, _fuck-_ " he whines. Karkat’s gloved hands on him, running over his stomach and chest, Karkat _furious_ at all the scars left behind on Dave… kissing over each one and making Dave gasp, making him flinch away in surprise until he realized no pain is coming, just kisses…

"Hah, _baby-_ " Dave whines softly. “Fuck, I’d be so helpless and confused- you’re kissing across my body, over all my scars- touching me in ways no one else has- and it feels _good_ , it feels so good-” He can imagine it, can imagine being in a chair blindfolded and tied as a silent kidnapper (as _Karkat_ -) touches and kisses all over him.

“You- you kissed me to keep me quiet-” Dave finds himself breathing, “but- would you- would you kiss me properly? Or would- would you work me up until I’m begging-?”

  
  


“Oh, no, they start of as barely even kisses. I’m practically just brushing my mouth across yours, featherlight while I shush you, desperately trying to keep you quiet but I’m so conflicted because I _want_ to hear your sounds, I want to hear your voice, maybe even your _screams_ —“ Karkat sucks in a quick breath, “it’s like it hurts me to touch you, as though you’re something holy and I’m a demon—and I am, for thinking I can have you all to myself like this, it’s despicable and greedy. It takes everything out of me to keep my touches soft and light—I don’t want to hurt you, I _don’t_ , but I _want_ you, want to take you, make you all mine—“ Karkat groans softly, “Want to tell you my name so I can hear the way your mouth spins it into gold—but I can’t tell you. You can’t know.”

Karkat swallows thickly, loud enough Dave can hear it right through the receiver, his breath coming now in short pants.

“I wouldn’t be able to hold back for very long, though,” Karkat says breathily, “I’ve wanted you for _so long_ , I’ve been so patient, waiting for my chance. And now you’re finally here, and you smell so sweet, and you taste so good…I’m intoxicated by you, I’m not thinking clearly. Eventually I’d lose myself, forget my place—forget that I’m not worthy of touching you like this, but I can’t stop. So my kisses become deeper, I start snaking my tongue into your mouth to taste even more if you. Finally put my hand around your pretty, perfect cock and start to pump you—slowly, _so slowly_ at first. My gloves graze along your sensitive skin, over your slit—and I’m fucking _fascinated_ because you’re actually getting _wet_ , for _me_. And then my control completely capsizes, and I start to pump you hard and fast and rough, wanting you to spill all over my hand…”

  
  


“H-hhhah-” Dave can’t stop his groan, a fever rising in his skin, imagining it, feeling the brushes of Karkat’s mouth, his hushed voice, _‘shh, shh- it’s okay, shh-’_ , making Dave tremble and fall into confused, aching silence. The kidnapper’s touches gliding over his body, soft, _soft_ , the leather so smooth and brushing against him- the touch _shaking_ , ever so slightly-

And the gradual ramp up, the brushes turning into more kissing, deeper and deeper, stealing Dave’s words, his breath, making him _moan_ , shaky and desperate. He doesn’t know what’s happening, but- but the touches are so _soft_ , so gentle-

Dave _whines_ at the idea of being touched. “B-baby can I- Can I touch?” He gasps. "I’m being good, not touching myself, but- I want your hand on me, I’m so _hard-_ of course I’m getting wet, you’re being so _gentle_ , kissing me so good, touching me so _softly-_ "

  
  


“You’re tied up, remember? You can’t touch,” Karkat says softly, “Just focus on me. I’m the only one who gets to touch you. Want you to be able to feel me wrapped around you without me even being there. Or without you even touching yourself to simulate the sensation. So that even when I’m not next to you, you’ll still be able to feel me. Like a phantom limb. Your own touch can’t compare. The illusion will feel even better than anything you can do to yourself. So _don’t touch_. I’m doing all of it for you. My hands are tracing across every inch of your skin, memorizing every curve. When I’m done kissing all your scars clean, I’ll kiss each and every freckle. Until your entire body is tingling and trembling. And it’ll drive me _crazy_ , every shudder that my touch brings out of you, every whimper, every pleading breath. I’m ravenous now, the soft kisses turn feverish, and I’m biting you all over, dragging my teeth across your skin. Nipping at your delicate, lovely collarbone, your shoulders, down your chest. Then I’d take your cock into my mouth, all the way to the hilt, desperate to taste you, wanting you to spill down my throat.”

  
  


Dave whimpers softly, his hips rocking up into nothing- no, there’s his boxers, giving the tiniest bit of friction and it makes him arch in relief, chasing the feeling.

 _Only Karkat_ can touch him. Dave stills, trembling. Just focus on Karkat. Just Karkat.

Reluctantly, Dave peels his boxers off. He shudders. “Fuck-” he breathes, and presses his wrists back together. He can feel Karkat, skin tingling and sensitive from his almost- _painful_ level of arousal. The ghosting of his hands, the pressing of his mouth, across his face, over and over, over his chest and shoulders, tiny little kisses that make his head spin, panting and fleeting.

"Ff-uuck- your mouth feels so _good_ , on me- so gentle and soft- and I can’t- I can’t do anything but whine softly, terror soothed away by your gentle touches, and it gets hotter and hotter- your mouth, your teeth- h-haaah, baby, I can feel you, biting and nipping- feels _go-oood-_ "

He moans helplessly, pressing his head back into the bed as his hips jump up, thrusting against nothing, dick jerking and leaking, thick drips rolling down his length.

"Your _mouth_ , baby- it’s ssooo good- fuck, it’s good- I can’t- I’d cum so quickly, baby, my entire dick in your throat, _so good-_ "

  
  


“Eventually I wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore. You’re whining and moaning so prettily for me, I’m practically salivating from your taste, and yet it’s still not enough.” Karkat’s voice comes out in thin, raspy whispers, gasping between every couple of words, “So after I’ve covered every inch of you in kisses, taken your gorgeous cock into my mouth, get you dripping and desperate and straining against your bonds—I’d take the handcuffs off of the chair. I’d give you a moment to have your hands free, rubbing and kissing at your sore wrists, whispering apologies. Tell you how good you’ve been for me so far, and I would promise I’d keep making you feel good. I’d wrap your arms around my neck and pick you up and carry you to the bed. Lay you down gently on your stomach, and cuff your joined wrists around the headboard. I’d get you on your knees, massaging deep into your hips, trying to get you to relax. Work you open with my tongue and gloved fingers until you’re pressing your hips back against my face and hands, sobbing. I can’t tell if when you say _please_ it means stop or if you’re asking for more. But I keep going, until I have you worked open, nice and relaxed, ready to take my cock…but I won’t fuck you, not unless you tell me you want me…”

  
  


"G _od-_ " Dave says, voice choked. The mouth around his dick, swallowing him down- it pushes him right up towards that edge- and then it’s _gone_ and hes left gasping and tugging at the cuffs.

He squirms on the bed, pressing his wrists together while also trying to fake-pull them apart, trying to simulate the feeling of being trapped.

"You’d unlock me- I wouldn’t know what to do, how to feel- I’m _so_ fucking turned on, baby- No one’s ever touched me like this so I’m so confused and _wanting_ \- and then you’re touching me so gently and kissing my sore wrists and- god- just picking me up so _carefully_ , telling me how good I am- I’d be fucking close to _tears_ , baby- no one’s ever been so gentle and I don’t even know your _name-_ "

Dave sucks in a desperate breath, turning over on the bed to match Karkat’s description, raising his ass in the air.

God- his hips jerk, wanting to fuck down against something, but he _can’t_ \- he can only imagine Karkat’s touches, opening him up.

" _Fuck._ " He croaks. “God. I’d be begging, desperate- tugging at my wrists, trying to push back onto your touch. I want to feel you, want to have you all the way- so you not giving me your dick would make me _sob_ as I begged-”

He takes a breath, and moans, hands stretched up on the bed, imagining the gloved fingers slowly working him open.

" _P-please_ , please- give it to me, I can’t take this, you’re _teasing_ me so badly, I need more- I wanna _cum_ , please-"

  
  


Karkat moans softly from his end of the line, and it’s clear he’s been touching himself as he continues to talk to Dave, as soft grunts interrupt his speech, “Even though I have you so worked open and relaxed, and have you begging for it so sweetly underneath me, I would still take my time slowly sinking myself inside of you. Relishing in the feeling. I want you to feel every inch of my cock sliding inside of you, achingly slow, until I’ve bottomed out inside of you. And then I would just keep myself there, enjoying the feeling of you wrapped tight and perfect around me. You feel so fucking good, Dave—better than I could have ever imagined. All the times I would touch myself while thinking of you are _nothing_ compared to the real thing. For a few minutes I just grind my hips slow and gentle against you, getting lost in the sensation of filling you. Letting you get accustomed to me. Letting you arch your back and tremble and cry out for more—I want to hear you say it, want to hear how much you’re _aching_ for my cock—as though you’ve wanted me all these years just as much as I’ve wanted you. You just didn’t know it until now.”

  
  


Karkat’s touching himself and Dave _can’t_ and that’s so frustrating- but he can imagine, so imagine he does- imagines the feeling of Karkat sinking his perfectly thick dick right into Dave, nice and slow, holding him in place so Dave couldn’t press back or wiggle.

And then he’d just _sit_ there, making Dave sit on his dick- working him up hotter and hotter, just grinding gently, probably shushing him and telling him how good Dave is, how good he feels-

Dave moans helplessly. “I- I do- I’ve never wanted anything as much as I do now- fuck, you’re driving me insane, I want- I want _more_ , I need more-”

He whines desperately, hips twisting and trying to buck down, but there’s nothing to fuck into, nothing but air around his _weeping_ cock, nothing but an imagined touch, an imagined dick filling him up.

" _Please_ ." Dave begs. “Give me your cock, please- It feels so good, I wanna get _fucked_ \- want _you_ to fuck me, please- you feel so good filling me up, I want- I want _more_ -”

He shoves himself up onto his toes as his hips jerk, fucking down too close to the bed- he can’t touch, isn’t allowed- but his feet slip right out from under him and his hips slam into the bed and he _moans_ roughly, hips fucking down against it in a desperate hump, relief aching through him.

“Fuck- sorry-” He chokes out, and it takes everything he has to force his knees up under him again, hips rocking forwards into _nothing_ again. “Sorry, baby- I slipped, ground against the bed-”

  
  


At Dave’s moan, Karkat makes a noise that’s a mix between a hiss through the teeth and a growl. “That’s okay, baby—if I was there, I would have such a tight grip on your hips you wouldn’t be able to slip. But it’s good to know that just the _thought_ of my cock gets you so weak in the knees…”

Karkat grunts softly. “Just try and keep still, just let me take care of you—I’ll make you feel so good, sweetheart, I promise— _nnngh_ —you want my cock, baby, then I’ll give it to you—aah, _fuck_ yes—I’ll give you everything you want, baby, I’ll make you feel so fucking good, all the time, I promise, I _promise_ —“

  
  


Fuck- Dave shudders out a breath, then pulls a shuddering breath in through his nose- fuck, it’s probably a throwaway line, but Dave knows that it’s true- Karkat’s dick _does_ make him go weak in the knees.

But Karkat’s making such fucking _sexy_ noises, groaning as he pours more heat into Dave, gets him hotter and hotter.

“Fuck- I want you- I’m still, letting you thrust into me, taking anything you’ll give me-” _using me_ , he almost says, but catches himself, moaning wordlessly instead, “give it to me, give it-” he’s rocking, shifting on the bed, trying to imitate the rhythm of Karkat fucking him, his face burning- he _wants_ it so bad, wants to be fucked- but it’s just a hollow clench in his cut, just a throbbing in his _weeping_ dick. “Ba _byyyyyyy_ -”

  
  


Karkat _moans_ loudly through the small phone speakers. “ _Fffuuuck_ , baby—god, you feel so fucking good, that’s it—taking my cock so fucking good, baby, you’re so fucking good for me. Think you could cum untouched again, baby? Just from the sound of my voice? The _imagined_ sensation of my cock deep inside you, fucking you hard and deep?”

  
  


Dave whines uncertainly- he’s so fucking _turned on_ \- he might be able to, he might-

Hhh, _god_ \- Karkat’s voice is like fucking liquid pleasure just _pouring_ down his spine.

“I- maybe, I dunno-” Dave gasps, his hips jerking and stuttering, trying to fuck against nothing. _You’re so good_ rings in his head like a pulse in his blood. _You’re so good_. “Fuck- Hhh, baby, I- I _wanna_ -”

He squeezes his eyes shut harder, imagines it- imagines the heavy, deep throb of Karkat fucking him open, his wrists tied, this gentle, _gentle_ kidnapper treating him like something _precious_ , something worth _stealing_ -

_**treasure-** _

Dave _whines_.

“Oh _god_ -” He sobs, “Karkat, call me- call me treasure, tell me I’m-” His voice breaks into a wordless, pleading _keen._

  
  


Karkat _groans._

“Oh, fuck, _baby_ —“ he pants, “love all those noises you make for me, so fucking perfect— _hahh_ —wanna keep you here forever like this, my cock deep inside you, claiming you as my own—you’re _mine_ , baby, you’re _all mine_. Perfect and precious and incredible and delicious and _gorgeous_ and all _mine_ —come on, baby, I know you can do it, s-so aa _ahh_ —amazing—“

Karkat breaks off into a desperate moan, gasping for air for a moment before he can continue.

“I’d squeeze my hands so hard into your hips to hold you in place that it’d leave _bruises_ , like I’ve branded you with my touch—I can see you getting close— _hnnh_ —ready to cum on just my cock, on this _stranger’s_ cock who you don’t even know. It pulls me even closer to the edge to think about—I start fucking deep and rough against you, leaning down to press my chest against your back— _hahhn_ —as I wrap my arms around your chest, like I’m a dragon circling around it’s horde, protecting you, keeping you warm—my perfect, precious _treasure_ , all mine forever—I’d squeeze you tight, rutting against your hips as I whisper in your ear,” Karkat lets out another long, soft groan, his voice going distant before coming back.

His mouth is pressed right up against the receiver in a low, desperate whisper, “I’d whisper my name into your ear, tell you that I want to hear it fall from those soft, sweet lips of yours when I make you cum. Come on, my baby, cum for me—my treasure, my _perfect_ fucking treasure, you can do it, sweetheart, _come on_ —I’m right there, baby, come on, I’m right there with you—we can cum together—I’ll make you mine forever, baby— _cum for me, treasure_ —“

  
  


Dave whimpers, each one of Karkat’s words pouring right into his head, flooding through him, running down his spine, his entire body tingling and _aching_.

All Karkat’s, _all Karkat’s-_ perfect, _incredible-_

Dave did it before- he _knows_ he can, he wants to, _wants_ to- He’s gasping wetly, whining, feeling Karkat’s hands on his hips, imagining getting fucked by this stranger, held close to his chest, hips snapping to fuck _deep and hard_ \- Holding him, _holding_ him- desperate, aching tears are burning in Dave’s eyes-

 _Treasure_ rings in his ears, deep and soft and _precious_ , throbbing through him.

The whisper fills his ears- _‘Karkat- My name is_ _**Karkat** _ _, I want to hear you say it, baby, lemme hear you-’_ and Dave moans helplessly, he’s so fucking close, he’s so goddamn close-

_**My treasure-** _

Dave _sobs_ . "Karkat, Karkat- I’mm- hhhhnhn- hhhah- _Karkat-_ "

Karkat loves him, loves him loveshimlovesehim- He _wants Dave_ , wants to hold him close, wants to keep him and hoard him away and _protect him-_

Dave’s hips jerk, sobbing, as he cums- heady threads of pleasure lacing through him to the sound of Karkat’s voice, gasping, “bab _yy-_ Karkat, Karr- hah, hh- Karkat- _cumming_ -”

 _Treasure_ rings in his ears, pouring right into his _soul_ and warming him from the inside out, he’s _treasure_ , he’s not pet or sub or toy or _bad_ \- he’s precious, he’s something that can be _cherished_.

  
  


The only sounds from Karkat for a moment are thick groans that break off into breathy pants and gasps, and then he’s moaning desperately, “That’s it, baby, that’s it—god, fuck, _yes_ —Dave, Dave, _Dave_ —“

Karkat’s words cut off as he lets out a guttural gasp, and lets out a long sigh before continuing, “Cumming _deep_ inside you, baby, the feeling of you cumming on my cock sends me over the edge—the sound of my name on your lips, turning it into the best sound in the world—I’d keep my hips pressed right against you and hold you _tight_ as you trembled, riding out both our climaxes together, coaxing you through it. You did so fucking _perfect_ for me, sweetheart, so amazing. I’d kiss you all over; along the backs of your shoulders, your neck, the back of your head. Take you by the chin and turn your head so I can kiss your lips.”

Karkat goes quiet for a moment, taking a bit to catch his breath.

“I’d pull out of you, slow and gentle, and rub my hands up and down your back, trying to soothe you as you continue to shake. Keep telling you how good you were, how good you _felt_. Then I’d take off my gloves…I’ve claimed you as my own so now I feel like I can touch you with my bare hands. I’d carefully remove the binds from your feet, rub at your ankles, work my way up your calves, kneading into the muscles. I’d massage all the way up your body, working out the tension, hoping my warm hands would stop your trembling. I’d rub all the way down your arms, kissing at your shoulders while I get your wrists free. Carefully guide you to lie on your back so I can kiss all over your poor, reddened wrists. Finally I’d remove your blindfold, pulling it away with the slightest hesitation, still not sure if I want you to look at me. You’ve got your eyes closed, you’re still shaking and gasping for breath. So I run my fingers through your hair and lean down to kiss you. When I pull away your eyes open and you see me for the first time. And I tell you I’m in love with you.”

  
  


Dave’s hips are still jerking, cock _desperate_ for something to grind with, to help him down, but there’s nothing, nothing but Karkat’s voice to cling to- and cling he does, thick tears rolling down his cheeks.

The ghost feeling of Karkat holding him close, holding him so tight, protecting his _treasure-_ cumming deep into Dave- kissing him all over, this kidnapper holding him so close and kissing his shoulders and neck and spine as he whispers praises- and Dave’s so desperately confused, this kidnapper- _Karkat_ was the first one to ever treat him _so good-_

Dave whimpers softly as Karkat talks him down from his peak, panting as he feels the ghost of hands- _skin_ contact, not gloves anymore- working over him, rubbing his ankles, his legs- making him feel so fucking good- chasing away the shaky ache in his body, freeing his hands and turning him over-

and _kissing_ so soft and gentle- mouth pressing to Dave’s _aching_ wrists- fuck- fuck, his soft touch working the blindfold off- but Dave’s still breathing unsteadily, eyes closed-

And he’s _kissed_ again- soft and gentle and _loving_ and Dave might be crying imagining it, but in the moment he’d just be nervous and scared to see what kind if person did this- kidnapped him and _worshipped_ him-

Dave opens his eyes and feels an aching _throb_ of loss at the fact that Karkat isn’t here with him- But he can picture it, opening his eyes and seeing this stocky, _handsome_ man, expression nervous and yet so concerned, so _loving_

‘ _I love you.’_

Dave squeezes his eyes shut as another wave of tears hit him.

“I- fuck, I wouldn’t know what to do- you stole me and treated me _so fucking gentle_ Karkat, and I’m all jumbled up inside- I- I’d ask _‘Why me?’_ , scared of hearing the answer, but- I’d need to _know_ , reaching out- I’d touch your face, trace your features… My heart’s beating like crazy, Karkat, it’s so fucking fast-”

  
  


Karkat’s still panting for breath on the other end of the line, his breathing ragged, his voice low with exertion.

“God, I’d freeze up, feeling your hands on _me_ for the first time. You’re touching my face so delicately but it still feels like my skin is on fire wherever our skin meets. You’d be looking into my eyes—and _fuck_ , your eyes…so _beautiful_ —you’d look so confused, so _scared_ , I’d want to take all of that away. I can’t believe you aren’t pulling away in disgust, now that you’ve seen me. That you even want to touch me. And you’re asking me _why_ , so I tell you…”

Karkat swallows, there’s a wet smack of his lips, and he continues.

“I’d tell you it was a selfish reason. Because somehow, nobody else had ever loved you. I was the first. Maybe I could be the _only_. And I wanted to be. I would keep stroking your face and rubbing my hands through your hair as I spoke, peppering soft, _soft_ kisses to your face, kissing away your tears…”

  
  


Dave trembles, reaching up and cupping his own cheek, thumbing away his tears, running his hand up through his hair, imagining being kissed gently across his face, as this stranger- _Karkat-_ whispers about love and _loving Dave_ and wanting to be the first, be the only one to love him-

He chokes on a weak little sob.

“Fuck- I- _Karkat-_ I’d- I’d reach out and pull you into a soft kiss- just- just so fucking gentle and I’m crying _harder-_ Your words are fucking _hitting_ me deep- I want that, want someone to _love_ me so much they’ll cherish and protect me-” He feels strange, saying the words, like his chest is being cracked open to expose his vulnerable heart, his most terrifyingly shameful secrets on display.

“I- I wouldn’t know what to say- I don’t know you at all but you _love_ me and I don’t- it’s so much, but I’d tremble, kiss you so fucking soft, so tentative- and whisper that you can, you can have me- You fucking stole me baby but- I’m _giving_ myself to you, to your gentle fucking touches, to- _fuck_ , to your _love_ , baby-”

  
  


Karkat lets out a shaky breath. “I’m still fucking reeling just from your hand on my cheek and then you _kiss_ me—willingly and soft and sweet—and you’re still crying, even more now, but now I’m starting to believe it isn’t out of fear of me. And I’m so _relieved_ . I don’t want you to be scared of me, I took you away to _save_ you, to protect you, to love you…that’s all I know how to do. So I’d keep kissing you, desperately, holding you close and kissing you again and again and promising I’d look after you, I’d keep you safe, I’d make you _happy_ , I’d make you feel so good every day…”

Karkat’s voice gets thick with emotion, sounding like he’s about to cry. He pauses to take another steadying breath.

“I never want you to think of yourself as anything less than what I think of you—perfect and sweet and _good_. I’d tell you every day, make you feel as adored and cherished as you do right now, every fucking day, for the rest of your life…”

  
  


_I took you away to_ _**save** _ _you._ Dave’s heart _lurches_ and he gasps softly. Karkat _does_ keep him safe, makes him happy- Dave is so fucking lucky to have him and he gives a soft little whine.

“Fuck- you _do_ , Karkat, you do-” Dave whispers thickly, finding his pillow and hugging it to his chest. "You do make me feel so good, you make me _so_ fucking happy baby, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me- I’m all yours, baby, no one else’s, just _yours-_ "

  
  


Karkat sniffles, but he laughs, light and wet.

“I love you, Dave.” he whispers, “God, I wish I was there to kiss you right now. I swear all this phone sex is just making me miss you more.”

  
  


“I love you too.” Dave wipes his face- he feels like he’s been hollowed out and then had liquid poured right back into him, just sheer, concentrated _love_ from Karkat filling him up.

It feels _good_.

“I love you so much. I wish you were here too, wish you could be touching and kissing me-” Dave sniffles, “but- we’re basically halfway done, right? So- not too much longer before you’re back here.”

  
  


“Mm-hm,” Karkat says, sounding content and sleepy the way he always did after cumming more than once, “One more full day, and then flying back Friday night. So when you think about it that way, not that much longer at all.”

There’s some rustling on Karkat’s end, and he mutters under his breath about cleaning up.

“Didn’t exactly have tissues on hand,” Karkat says, sounding a bit sheepish, “Had to grab the nearest thing, which was your pyjama pants. _Eugh_. Guess I’m doing laundry. Ah, well. They weren’t smelling much like you anymore, anyway.”

After a bit more rustling around, Karkat sighs, sounding like he sat back down on the couch.

“This might be a stupid question, but what do you want to do this weekend when I get back? I booked time off work right up until Monday.”

  
  


Dave grins sappily at Karkat’s words. Not far at all. Karkat’s basically home already.

He laughs though, at Karkat disgust. “Yeah, well, serves you right.” He says, as he slouches more onto the bed, contentment and _love_ just humming through him. “Should’ve planned ahead, baby.” He says, conveniently ignoring the fact that there is now a very gross wet spot about four inches to his left. “Dunno about this weekend, though, I’m pretty sure I’m going to want to do absolutely nothing but lie on top of you all Saturday and then have you lying on top of _me_ all Sunday.”

  
  


Karkat makes a sleepy kind of laugh-hum sound at that.

“Sounds like you and I are on the same page in that regard, then.” he murmurs.

  
  


Dave grins. “Thought you weren’t supposed to take a nap, babe?” He teases. “Come on, keep those eyes open.”

He’s feeling lazy, too- but he’s not feeling _sleepy_ , just contented. Warm. Filled to the brim with hazy, low-simmering pleasure.

  
  


Karkat groans. “Aaagh. Right, right…”

A big yawn, then a grunt of exertion as Karkat gets up. “…M’ gonna…make som’in f’r lunch…puttin’ you on speaker again.”

A loud thump, and then Karkat’s voice sounds echoey and far off as he moves around the kitchen again. There’s the sound of the fridge opening and Karkat blows a puff of air out and mutters to himself as he looks through the fridge. Talking to himself the way he does when he’s overtired and needs to ramble to keep himself awake.

“Let’s see, let’s see…turkey orrrr black-forest ham…well, I guess it’s gonna haf’t’ be turkey, innit?” Karkat clicks his tongue a couple of times, “…aw, shit, is that _honey_ mustard? Fuck yes, Harley, I am _all over_ that…”

The fridge closes. Cupboards open and close. There’s the sound of a plate being placed on the counter, close enough that it must be right next to the phone. Karkat idly hums a tune Dave recognizes as one of his own songs as he goes about prepping his food.

“Hope y’ haven’t been on a hunger strike since I left,” Karkat says, and there’s the sound of a lid being popped open. The _squelch_ of a bottle being squeezed. “I swear you literally forget to eat half the time. In fact, I bet you were in such a rush t’ get t’ class ya haven’t had anything all day.”

There’s some shuffling sounds and the fridge door opens again. Karkat’s voice is far off as he says, “An’ since your reason for bein’ damn-near tardy was ‘cause o’ y’sending me that big fuckin’ wall of sweet messages…”

The fridge door closes. More shuffling, then Karkat’s voice is close again, “An’ because you jus’ gave me two orgasms, I’ll be _nice_ about how I say this,” Karkat pauses for a moment, then says, “Go eat something, babe.”

  
  


Dave grins to himself, listening to Karkat sleepily get up and rummage through Jade’s fridge.

“Nah, I haven’t been.” Dave says. “But you’re not wrong- I definitely _have_ been forgetting to eat.” He pauses, trying to remember if he ate this morning.

…

…

…

Yeah, he didn’t. Whoops.

He flushes a bit as he remembers all the _embarrassingly_ sappy messages he had sent Karkat. Man. There sure was a lot of shit in there that he definitely would not have sent if he was not _massively_ sleep deprived.

“Okay, I’m going-” He says, pushing himself up out of bed. “But, uh- you can go ahead and ignore all those messages. I was… very very very tired.”

  
  


Karkat seems to stay in the kitchen to eat, as he keeps the phone on speaker and talks through a bite of food, “Whaaat? No way. I might just print it all out and pin it to our fridge when I get home. Though it’d be a lot of pages…”

Karkat takes another bite and chews quietly for a bit as Dave gets up to make his own food.

“Mm, hang on, I’m gonna go throw that playlist you made for me back on,” Karkat says, and then there’s some shuffling that gets farther and farther away as he walks across the room—presumably over to his laptop.

There’s some faint sound in the distance that gets a little louder as Karkat turns up the volume.

 _It’s a quarter past midnight,_  
_But we’re just getting going…_

Karkat’s humming can be heard coming closer to the phone as he walks back over to the kitchen.

“…Hmmhm… _me piece it all together, darlin’~_ ” Karkat sings under his breath. Then he’s quiet again, probably taking another bite of food.

“Back when we were kids, an’ we didn’ have Spotify, you used to burn songs onto CDs all the time, remember?” Karkat says through a bite of sandwich. He swallows and his voice comes out less muffled. “I still got ‘em all. All the ones you gave me as just random gifts that just had your favourite songs on them, songs we both liked, songs you mixed yourself. Romantic ones once we started dating. They’re all back home in Houston, because CDs are basically useless these days. But still. I remember a couple songs from them, made a few playlists on Spotify so I could have them with me. So, if that’s any inclination for you to never stop being romantic, well…yeah. Y’know, me n’ schmaltz.”

  
  


Dave flushes at the idea of Karkat _printing out his messages_ . That’s embarrassing as hell, but- also really _really_ sweet.

“Oh my god.” He mumbles, hunting down his boxers and pulling them on. He goes out to the kitchen, holding his phone up as it’s on speakerphone.

He looks through the fridge, “oh fuck yeah, we still have curry.” He tugs out the tupperwear labeled ‘REALLY FUCKING SPICY’ and cracks it open, grinning at the immediate scent of spice that hit his nose. He pops it into the microwave to heat it up.

His grin goes soft and pleased around the edges, heart fluttering as he listens to Karkat put on the sleep-deprived playlist he made.

“Yeah, I remember that.” Dave says, retrieving the curry from the microwave and giving it a stir, then popping it back in again. “I can’t believe you still have all of them- or even that you _listened_ to all of them- I must have made you what, like, fifty? Seventy? It was way too fucking many, that’s for damn sure.”

He laughs a little, shifting the hand holding the phone. “But… I guess it was the easiest way to tell you things I didn’t know how to say at the time.” He says sheepishly, before an idea strikes him.

“Tell you what,” he says, pulling his now-unevently-heated-but-mostly-hot currey out of the microwave and stirring it vigerously, “if we get those CDs sometime, I’ll convert them all to Spotify playlists and then we can make fun of my old music tastes together.”

  
  


Karkat hums a bit at the suggestion, but he’s quiet for a moment longer before he says anything.

“Hey…” he says, slowly, “How would you feel about going back to Houston for the holidays? We could go while you’re on winter break. Treat it like a birthday present for you. My old man hasn’t shut up about us coming to visit ever since I told him we got back together. I haven’t been back in _years_. Flew back home my first year of college for Hanukkah but it was such a fucking hassle—not to mention expensive—so I told my dad I wasn’t doing it again. Not until after I graduated. So, well, now seems as good a time as any, right? Especially if you’re there.”

  
  


Dave takes a bite and considers it. He hasn’t been back to Huston since Bro moved them, and, well… he can’t deny that he _does_ miss it.

“That sounds like it would be… really nice.” Dave says, shoving another mouthful of too-spicy-for-normal-humans curry into his mouth. “I _do_ miss your dad’s cooking.”

Mr. Vantas’ cooking is basically the closest thing that’s ever gotten Dave to consider converting. Like. Holy shit. There are a couple of times where Dave’s sworn he’s seen God.

Basically, it’s Good Fucking Shit.

  
  


Karkat laughs. “Of course your mind goes right to food,” he teases, but his voice is warm.

Then it grows soft as he reminisces. “You were the only one who could handle how spicy dad made shakshuka. Maybe that’s why he’s been bugging me so much to come home. Finally have someone around the house who can handle his cooking. He hardly put up much fuss when I told him I wasn’t going to travel home every year. But since telling him about you, it’s been fucking _constant_.”

Karkat slips into his _bang-on_ impression of his dad, “ _Kat, when are you going to bring Dayve home for visit?_ ” he sighs, “I’m sure he’ll be more excited to see you than me. Anyway, I _was_ going to surprise you with tickets, but…I figured maybe I should just ask you, in case you didn’t want to deal with travelling during the holidays, if you just wanted to take it easy while you’ve got a break from school. But I think it’d be fun.”

  
  


“Uh, yeah, can you _blame_ me?” Dave scoffs, but then his mouth is filled with curry as Karkat reminisces.

He has… really _really_ fucking good memories of Karkat’s dad. Shit, it feels like half of his fucking childhood was spent at Karkat’s house. It was quiet and warm and Dave never had to worry about Bro hurtling at him at Mach Fuck with a blade out.

Dave is pretty sure that Karkat’s home is the reason that he got through his fucking childhood (and Wow that was a Rough Fucking Month In Therapy during that realization), and he doesn’t even know if _Karkat_ knows that. He doesn’t even know if Karkat’s Dad (aka “Abba”) had any real idea about what Dave’s home life was like- but he suspects that Abba had at least an inkling of a clue. He never turned Dave away, after all- even if Karkat wasn’t home, he’d invite Dave in and ply him with his excellent cooking, always insisting that Dave needed to eat more.

So Dave leans against the counter and grins softly, listening to Karkat slip right into his ‘Abba voice’. “Yeah, that’d be really fun.” He says. “We can revisit our old, shitty haunts and gorge ourselves on your Dad’s food, maybe even go find that movie theater and I can give you a blowjob in the back row.” He teases.

  
  


Karkat must have sent some of his sandwich down the wrong hole, because he’s hacking and coughing for a few moments before clearing his throat roughly and then finally saying in a rushed wheeze, “ _Yeahthatallsoundsgreat_.”

Karkat coughs again. “Fuck, well, I’m wide awake _now_ ,” he says gratingly, “Nothing like choking to death on your last bite of turkey sandwich to get you nice and alert.”

There’s the sound of the sink running, more cupboards closing and opening, and then a loud rustle as Karkat picks up his phone and takes it off speaker as he makes his way back to the couch. “Man, it’ll be crazy to go back again, after all this time. Home used to mean _too many_ memories but now they can just be…memories again. The theatre, the cliff, that secret spot near the fairgrounds where they held the rodeo every year…all those spots we made ours…”

Karkat’s voice gets soft as he trails off, and he’s quiet for a while.

“It’s funny. These last couple of years, I haven’t called Houston “home”. When I brought it up in conversation I didn’t refer to it as that, it was just _Houston_. Like, my dad could have decided to move away and I wouldn’t have batted an eye. When I visited my first year of college, it just felt surreal. I barely left the house while I was there, because I knew I’d see something that would dredge up a memory and my chest would ache. Maybe that’s why dad didn’t try to get me to visit more. He knew it just…made me too sad.”

Karkat goes quiet again, and sighs.

“When I got back to Chicago, back to my tiny student dorm and my shitty stoner roommate…I realized that wasn’t home, either. And then I started to wonder if anything would feel like that for me again. And then you were there, and you made my dorm, your dorm, my apartment…anywhere, feel like home. So we could stay in Chicago or go back to Houston if you really wanted to, or live anywhere else…and it wouldn’t matter. Home is gonna be wherever you are.”

  
  


Dave grins as Karkat chokes, just eating serenely as he waits for his boyfriend to recover.

“Clearly the best remedy for drowsiness.” He agrees. “I bet you could market that shit.”

Oops, wait. Karkat probably didn’t hear him at all. Ah, whatever.

Dave hums a little in agreement as Karkat lists off places they used to go. The theater where they would huddle against each other and whisper furiously about the movie (and also, yes, where Dave gave Karkat Dave’s first ever blowjob), the cliff where they would go and talk for hours away from anyone, the fairground spot where they could just curl together and _breathe_ -

Yeah. It’ll be nice to go back, maybe even recreate some of those memories.

Dave honestly never really let himself long for Huston. Sometimes he’d lie awake at 1 AM and miss it with a fierce, terrible ache- but it was mostly because he missed _Karkat._ It wasn’t about the places- it was about the incredible boy he shared them with.

So as he listens to Karkat talk, his chest tight, he gets it. If it had been reversed, Dave doubts he would have ever come back to Houston.

He swallows thickly. “Babe, that’s kinda gay.” He says jokingly, but there’s too much emotion in his tone to deliver the joke properly. “I- fuck. Yeah. I know what you mean. Like this apartment, this city is… it feels like _home_ in a way that California _never_ fucking was, like my dorm room here isn’t. It was just a place that I existed.”

“And then, well- you were here. We both know how that went, but it’s- it’s just completely different in ways I can’t describe, you feel me?”

  
  


Karkat snorts at Dave’s “pretty gay” remark, but stays quiet as Dave continues to speak. Then he hums thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean,” Karkat says softly.

He falls quiet, just letting the moment hang in the air for a time. The playlist is still playing in the background, but Karkat’s turned down the volume since he moved back to the couch, so it’s just a soft sound in the background as an instrumental song plays quietly.

“Okay, so I went back to my laptop and I’m reading through all those messages you sent,” Karkat says, “And damn, I thought that dragon motif of mine was Hozier-worthy. This takes the cake. I might have to steal this material. Getting buried together, sharing eternity together with our names lost to time but not our love. Or talking about making yourself into a home I can live in. Or you being crystallized and me breaking you free with a chisel and hammer. You’re already imaginative when you’re awake, but sleep-deprived you comes up with some pretty cool imagery. There’s definitely a song in there somewhere. And fuck Hozier, I’m jumping on it before he does. Hey…we’ve never done any music together, have we? I guess you don’t have anything to mix with other than that program on your computer, but…we should. Sometime. Maybe. If you wanted to.”

  
  


Dave immediately has to resist the urge to bury his face in his hands. He said some _pretty fucking incriminating stuff_ in that mess of a sleep-deprived ramble.

Karkat seems to have enjoyed it, though, so Dave tries to bury his embarrassment. Viciously. With a shovel. He listens with a mouth full of curry as Karkat talks about his lovesick rambling and is very glad that Karkat is focusing on the romantically sappy stuff and not the, you know, Dave talking about huffing Karkat’s boxers bit.

He pauses though, trying to think. Yeah, that’s true- they’ve never made music together. Karkat didn’t sing before everything and it just… never really came up in any way since they were reunited?

“That would be really fucking fun.” Dave decides. “Just spending an afternoon jamming out? I guess we know what we’re doing this weekend.” He laughs a little, scooping up the last of his curry.

  
  


Dave’s phone buzzes with a notification from Pesterchum, from Karkat. The message is simply a link.

CG: <https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5kkuPPRR6DI10xAzDz3Ek3?si=TAkLSNVZTJCbHmwrgjHvWg>

“There. Now we’re even.”

  
  


Dave looks at the songs on the playlist for a moment. “Oh shit, babe, this is so fucking ro-” he catches sight of the name and chokes on his words.

A heavy flush of embarrassment floods through him. _Everything good about me came from you._

It had been a brief, momentary thought, sleep deprived and rambling through messages in a way that was sort-of meant to be read but also more just about thought dumping and, if he’s being honest- he hadn’t… really expected Karkat to read through it all.

But. The sentiment behind the line is true. Everything about Dave that’s good- every little habit, every quirk of his words- it all came from Karkat. From being around him and picking up on behaviors, from his home and learning how to relax, from getting ranted at until it clicked in his head about his flaws and he worked to fix them.

_Everything good about me came from you._

His throat feels tight.

" _Thanks_." He manages, then clears his throat and continues, his voice feeling a little more sturdy. “I’m going to listen to this on repeat for literally the next three months so I hope you’re ready for that.”

  
  


“You’re welcome, babe,” Karkat says, and there isn’t a trace of teasing in his voice, it’s entirely genuine. “And good. I’ll have to keep adding songs, then. Good thing love songs are easy to come by. Although my homesickness is bleeding through there a bit, too. But it’s homesick for you, so, I guess that still tracks.”

There’s a pause. Then Karkat lets out a sigh, but it devolves into a bemused laugh.

“I just went to your profile,” he says, “[You made an _a_ _ss-eating_ playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dfReIXMcpk7QLbDlaVDtG?si=2bJLCVGaQmewZbQQXABUag) Of course you did. And it’s right beside the soft gothic romance playlist. You are truly one extreme or the other. Not that it’s a bad thing—quite the opposite. It keeps things interesting. Get you a man who makes a playlist devoted to eating your ass, _and_ rotting together in the same grave. Peak romance right there.”

  
  


Dave covers his mouth with his hand, his face going hot and embarrassed and more than a little lovestruck. He’s always considered music to be… basically the most important thing in his life (except for Karkat, _obviously_ ) and it’s basically a language of it’s own, so-

God. He just really loves Karkat.

He pulls himself together as Karkat laughs. “Oh, yeah, that thing.” He says, voice still the tiniest bit shaky but getting steadier as he talks. “That’s for Sunday. I hope you’re ready to let me eat your ass for- uh. I forget the exact length but however long that playlist is for. You’ll be swooning and moaning at the same time.”

“Swoaning? Mooning?” Dave tries. “No, mooning is a thing. You’ll be swoaning so fucking hard babe.”

  
  


Karkat laughs so hard he snorts, and it takes him a minute to collect himself.

“Well, mooning will have to be a thing, too. In order for the ass-eating to occur, that is.” Karkat says through a laugh, “And then we’ll see about the swoaning. If it’s anything like your descriptions over the phone earlier, I’m sure it’ll happen.”

  
  


Dave grins at the snort, his heart flutter. Fuck, he always feels like he’s won some kind of prize whenever he can get Karkat to snort.

“You are very correct, babe.” Dave says cheerfully. “Mooning will _also_ have to happen and I, for one, cannot wait.”

Because he is a good boyfriend and houseguest, he cleans out the tupperware and washes it out, phone pinned between his ear and shoulder.

“So what are your plans for tomorrow?” He asks. “I’ve got lab work for like… most of the day with Roxy so I probably won’t be on much.”

  
  


“Well, that’s probably gonna be the day that Jade and I do some actual exploring and shit so I mean, that’s probably for the best. Then I won’t be distracted by talking to my gorgeous fiancé all day long,” Karkat says lightly, “Then we’ll probably spend all of Friday morning and afternoon working on music before I have to get to the airport. Shit, this trip kind of flew the fuck by. Which is good, because as much as I love Jade, I uh…love you more, so. It’ll be good to be home.”

  
  


“Haha, yeah, I know I can be pretty distracting.” Dave teases. “In _more ways than one_ , eyebrow wiggle included. I am wiggling my eyebrows so much right now.”

“That sounds like hella fun, though, you better take a lot of pictures like a tourist should.”

Dave drifts back into the bedroom. “Hey, we’re almost there, right?” He muses. “Day’s more than half over, so- just tomorrow and then Friday you’ll be home so if you think about it, really, you’re basically home already.”

  
  


“I literally had to ask Google about things to do in California because I have zero fucking clue,” Karkat says, “There’s no fucking way I’m going to Disney, so that’s out. I don’t give a shit about Hollywood. Bar crawling last night went about as well as you can expect. So that pretty much leaves…I don’t fuckin’ know. Maybe Jade and I will hit up a liquor store and get shit-faced here in her apartment, and watch some movies. Order a pizza.”

Karkat sighs, long and loud. “Then I’ll nurse a mini-hangover with some greasy food on Friday morning and be home by the evening to kiss your face off.”

  
  


Dave laughs. “Alright, in that case, be sure to take pictures of all of the exotic Californian liquors. I’m sure they’ll be dazzling you with increasingly bizarre names like _Concrete Vomit_ and _Neon Racetrack_.”

“But sounds like a hell of a time, just chilling with Jade.” _Almost makes me wish I had gone with_ , he almost says but locks it behind his teeth because he doesn’t want Karkat to tell him how bad of an idea that would be. “Maybe I should do something tomorrow with Roxy, since you’re going to be hanging with Jade.”

  
  


Karkat is quiet for a long time. The only sound is some quick keyboard tapping, faint in the background and muffled by the distorted sound of background music.

“You are making that shit up to fuck with me right now, I just know it. I’m furiously Googling right now, and I see no such beverage called _Concrete Vomit_. What the fuck. Same with _Neon Racetrack_. I just got a picture of a Lightning McQueen video game.”

Karkat sighs loudly, giving up in his search. “Well, you can drink all the fake drinks you want with Roxy tomorrow. I’ll stick to my vodka cranberries like a normal-ass person and call it a night. Maybe sit in the bathroom to hold Jade’s massive amounts of hair back while she yacks in the toilet. I swear her tolerance is even worse than yours.”

  
  


Dave laughs at the fact that Karkat is _googling_ the names. “They’re house drinks, Karkat, you’re not gonna find them on the _internet_.” He teases, and looks over at his laptop, feeling a pang of guilt.

“I will.” He sniffs, adopting a fake-snooty air. “You can stay unadventurous and I will drink all of the good drinks.”

He refuses to comment on the tolerance bit, his alcohol tolerance is _fine_ , thank you very much.

“I should probably go and do schoolwork, though.” He says with a sigh. “Shouldn’t leave it for last minute _again_.”

  
  


“I can only fake my way through my own course load, after all,” Karkat says flippantly, “So that would be for the best. I can’t understand half the shit you bring home. And you call _me_ the smart one. You’re gonna be discovering water on Neptune or some shit and there I’ll be…helping some old lady uninstall Internet Explorer. Explaining what an IP address is for the umpteenth time. What a life I lead.”

The distant sound of the music cuts out—Karkat must have hit the pause button. “Sounds like a plan, babe. I’ll let you get to work.” he says, “Have a good rest of your day.”

  
  


Dave snorts. “Hey, don’t underestimate the important of little old ladies, they’re the backbone of our society.”

He grabs his laptop and plops down on the bed, and makes an obnoxious kissing noise at the phone. " _Mwah_. You too, baby, love you."

  
  


Karkat snickers, but makes the kissing noise right on back.

“Love you more, baby. Talk to you later.”

Karkat ends the call, a stupid smile still pulling at his lips. He takes a moment to try and wipe the grin off his face, then he pulls up Pesterchum on his computer.

**Author's Note:**

> The authors of this fic can be found on twitter!
> 
> Dave is [@LPSunnyBunny](http://www.twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!
> 
> Karkat is [@jGillotto](http://www.twitter.com/jGillotto)!


End file.
